"We're sorry, Mrs. Atlasia," Travers said.

"Please, hon. It's okay," Thomas said to his wife.

"And what was he doing?" Jade asked.

"Well, he had cornered a squirrel on the porch, right against the house. I think it had a broken leg or something, and he-" She took a deep breath. "Allander," she said. "Allander had trapped it against the house." Her voice was getting shaky. She looked angrily at Thomas. "Oh, Jesus, do I really have to do this? Is it really so important to bring this up now?"

"It could be," Jade said. Virtually any childhood story might help him understand Allander better. But more important, it established trust with the Atlasias and got them talking. He was just paving the way.

"Sweetheart, please," Thomas said.

"Fine." Darby's hand shot up and nervously patted her hair in the back. "He got a can of Lysol or something from under the kitchen sink and a match. He held the match under the spray and set the poor little thing on fire." Her voice cracked. "I came out when I heard it scampering around the deck. He was . . . he was . . ."

"Masturbating?" Jade said.

She looked quietly at Jade. Her cheek was quivering and he could see the pulse beating in her temple. "Yes," she said.

The phone rang in the kitchen and she was gone instantly.

"Well, h.e.l.lo there! Yes, yes, we're fine. Fine. Great. Uh-huh. Oh really?"

Jade, Travers, and Thomas sat quietly in the living room as Darby's conversation continued. Jade caught Thomas's eye, but he lowered his head and began his mindless tracing again. Darby's laughter filled the room. After a few minutes, she hung up and returned.

Her smile faded as she entered the room. She locked eyes with Thomas.

"Sorry," she said softly without taking her eyes off her husband.

"What'd you say when you found him?" Jade asked her, picking up right where she'd left off.

"I told him he'd burn in h.e.l.l forever," she said. Then she laughed, a mature giggle. "No, no. We're quite liberal people, Mr. Marlow. I told him that the masturbation part was normal, even healthy. I believe it is," she said, as if someone had disagreed with her. "I didn't want him to feel guilty about it. But I was very upset about the poor animal, and I scolded him for that. A lecture about cruelty to animals. If only I'd known. That should've been the least of my concerns."

A long, awkward silence ensued. Thomas cleared his throat twice but said nothing.

Jade finally broke the silence. "That was before Allander's kidnapping, wasn't it, Darby?"

She looked down for a while, then turned and walked to the mirror. "Yes," she admitted. "It was."

"That's interesting," Travers said.

"Actually, I think it's quite disturbing," Darby said, cutting her off curtly with a smile.

"No, I mean about how you responded to him masturbating. One of Allander's elementary school teachers caught him masturbating and gave him a big lecture," Travers said. "And a spanking, if memory serves."

"It does," Thomas said. "He was quite upset about that. You've certainly done your digging, Ms. Travers."

Travers bit her lip. They were trying to build trust, and she had just made it seem as if the FBI was digging through all the family laundry. Which, of course, it was.

Although Jade was irritated with Travers for her interruption, he realized that it was an important point. At an early age, Allander had received conflicting messages regarding his s.e.xuality from two female authority figures. And his mother was more s.e.xually open, less restrictive than the other. He was bound to be confused.

"It's okay," Thomas said. "We know you have to pursue all avenues." He chuckled though nothing was funny. "Actually, Allander always said he wanted to be a policeman when he grew up."

"Many killers go through periods where they're infatuated with the police," Jade said. "They're attracted by the fact that cops have authority and power, and that they deal with death for a living. It's quite a common interest."

"Not in our family," Darby said. "Umm. No offense."

Jade smiled. "None taken."

"So there you have your incident," Darby said in a rushed voice. "'Beating-Off Boy Burns Furry Animal.' But that was the last of that. Then we had the summer, those three days that stretched to a lifetime. And I'm sure you know the rest."

And they did. Allander had been kidnapped from a shopping mall, lured by one Vincent P. Grubbs into a blue van and taken to a filth-ridden motel where he'd been held for three days. The Columbus Motel. If those three days had seemed like a lifetime to the Atlasias, Jade could only guess what they had felt like to Allander.

"What store were you in when you first realized you'd lost him?" Jade asked. It might have been a cruel question, but he wanted to gauge how they spoke about it-especially if he was going to ask the big question later.

"Shoes. A shoe store," Thomas said. "I was looking at a pair of brown ta.s.seled shoes the fourth row up from the bottom and I fail to see the significance of this, Mr. Marlow." His voice rose, ever so slightly.

That was good. It gave Jade a chance to isolate Darby. If Allander had, in fact, raped or attempted to rape her, he wasn't sure she would've told her husband. She was strong enough to have carried it around by herself to save Thomas the agony. Judging from their closeness, Jade would've bet she had told him, but it just wasn't worth taking the chance.

He would ask Darby, and he would ask her in private. Dr. Yung thought it was a gamble to pursue this point, but Jade felt it in his gut, and his gut had yet to be wrong.

"Thomas, I can see this is hard for you. Perhaps I'd better speak to Darby alone," Jade said.

"Is that okay?" Travers asked.

Thomas looked as if he'd just been betrayed. His face turned red as he fought for words. "I want to be by my wife's side when she discusses our son. As you can see, it's quite trying."

"I know it must be," Jade said. "But I really think it's better that I speak with her alone. Just for a minute."

Darby winked at Thomas. "I'll be okay, love. Just for a minute."

The living room had a sliding gla.s.s door that opened onto the backyard. Thomas rose to his feet and went outside. The door slid behind him with an airtight thunk. Jade looked at Travers. "Alone, please."

She stared at him with calm fury, her mouth clamped shut so tightly that it distorted her entire face. She stood and exited. The door closed with a louder thunk.

Jade rose and walked over to Darby. He rested his hand on her shoulder and she received it gracefully, as if it were an invitation to dance.

"How do you know, Mr. Marlow?" she asked.

Jade looked at her quietly before speaking. "I just pieced it together."

"If you're that good, then G.o.d help my boy because that's the best-hidden skeleton in California." She was totally calm.

"Do you really want G.o.d to help him?"

"When I believe in G.o.d?" She nodded. "Sometimes. I think that's the only thing Thomas will never forgive me for. My son was made who he is by the prisons, the psychologists. He can be salvaged."

She grasped Jade's arm around his elbow, leaning for support.

"When did he do it, Darby?"

She tightened her grip on Jade, but her voice was unflinching. "He was seventeen. It was . . . before he fled from here."

"He couldn't do it, could he?" Jade asked. "Allander."

For a moment, he thought she was going to faint. He could only imagine what memories were flashing through her mind. And how much they hurt.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry. Your reasoning has failed you."

"He couldn't finish then, could he?"

"No, Mr. Marlow. He could not. He did not e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.e. In me. Thomas came home and Allander fled." Her jaw was squared, her eyes firm and courageous. "Thomas knows," she said. "But I do appreciate your sensitivity."

They sort of laughed together ironically.

Jade's mind was racing. Allander had not e.j.a.c.u.l.a.t.ed. And he had not killed his father. His Oedipal complex had yet to be fulfilled. He hadn't had the courage to finish with either his mother or his father, and it had haunted him ever since. Now these killings were practice runs to get his courage up, to get him past his s.e.xual insecurity. To get him ready to come home again.

"Thank you, Darby," Jade said. He couldn't remember the last time he'd thanked someone. "You're doing the right thing, helping me this way."

She blinked rapidly several times to keep the tears back. "There comes a time, I suppose, when you must let them go."

That's right, Jade thought, Allander's in my hands now.

He remembered his agreement with Darby and felt a sudden claustrophobia. He'd have to deal with that when the time came.

"Don't worry," he said. "I called for two more cars to watch the house. You're very safe."

She smiled and waved him off. Then she went to the door and called Travers and Thomas back inside. As they were getting ready to leave, Jade turned to Thomas. "Do you mind if I use your bathroom?"

Jade's face looked back out of the small mirror above the toilet as he urinated. The bathroom was decorated with floral wallpaper, and carved seash.e.l.l soaps adorned the marble sink's counter. A wicker shelf protruded from above the towel rack by the sink, and it was cluttered with small, graceless figures that would have been out of place anywhere else-a twirling porcelain ballerina; the three monkeys of lore; a Rockwellesque doctor examining the ear of a freckle-faced youngster.

As he leaned forward to flush the toilet, he was struck with a moment of insight. It was right there in front of him. He turned around and plucked the figure from the shelf, holding it to the light before sliding it into his pocket.

He walked back into the living room, untucking his shirt slightly so that it would hang down over the bulge in his pocket. The Atlasias sat silently side by side, and they did not look up when Jade entered the room. He signaled Travers with a jerk of his head.

Darby showed them to the front door. When she swung it open, she let out a startled cry. A photographer had jumped from his car onto the front walkway. No more than twenty yards from Darby, he raised the camera to his eye.

Jade quickly stepped forward, blocking Travers from view. He slid his arm across Darby's shoulders just as the photographer started shooting. Although Darby was too shocked by the photographer to notice, it made him feel sleazy. It was a cheap move, but given the opportunity and the potential payoff, it was one he had to take.

The photographer ran back to his car and hopped in, tossing the camera into the pa.s.senger seat. The car had been left running.

Travers pushed past Jade just in time to see the car pull away. "Press?" she asked.

Jade nodded. "Wouldn't have gotten past the men if they hadn't checked him out," he said. He pointed to the black Oldsmobile across the street and the driver waved, then gave a frustrated shrug. "Not much they can do to stop them if they're clean."

Travers shook her head. "Only two kinds of people need getaway cars," she said. "Bank robbers and photographers."

Darby placed a hand on her chest to slow her breathing. "It's okay," she said. "Madonna and I, we're used to it."

Travers laughed. "Well, thanks for your time."

Darby looked up and caught Jade's eye. He was alone with her for an instant, alone in her private world. He could almost sense the depth of her pain in the slight wrinkles around her eyes.

She mustered her strength and smiled.

He smiled back.

37.

I N the afternoon, Allander's hunger pangs finally distracted him from his quiet reflections. Rising and stretching, he headed back to the main road. He whistled as he walked, enjoying the lightness of the sound and the freedom of the notes as they drifted on the wind.

As he rounded a bend in the road, a large field spread before him to his left. He hopped the mossy wooden slats of the fence and made his way slowly through the field, skimming an open hand on top of the waving yellow foxtails. His feet sank slightly in the rich ground with each step. The far end of the field sloped up to the top of a little hill, and a farm-style house sat at its peak.

Allander resumed whistling and headed for the house. He rapped the door with his knuckles. It was a large wooden door, with lines and ridges, worn with time and use. The sign posted along the country road had advertised a "learning school."

Allander imagined that the teacher lived and taught in the same house, for it had been described as a "residential school" on the map he had seen at the bus station. The door was opened by a homely, middle-aged woman who wore her hair pulled back neatly in a bun.

"h.e.l.lo. My car broke down and I was wondering if you would do me the great favor of allowing me to use your telephone."

She glanced down at him. She was a rather st.u.r.dy woman, and she stood with her arms crossed, pushed out from her chest by enormous b.r.e.a.s.t.s outlined like boulders beneath her ap.r.o.n.

"Well, sure. I'm just getting dinner ready, but why don't you come in and use the phone right down that hallway there."

Allander made a half bow, placing one hand on his stomach and extending his other hand open from his side. He nodded his head slightly. The gesture was meant to convey "thank you" and "you can trust me" and "I'm charming" all at the same time.

The woman smiled in amus.e.m.e.nt and stepped back, opening the door the rest of the way to allow him to enter.

Once in the car, after leaving Thomas and Darby, Jade told Travers of his private discussion with Darby, and of her secret. Though she tried not to show it, Travers was shaken by the story of the rape. When they arrived back at Jade's house, they both began to read through the psychology books that Jade had taken out of the library.

Travers shot Jade a look of annoyance when he began to chew on an ice cube. He, of course, didn't notice.

"What was the deal with that promise?" she asked. "Why did Darby tap your chest?"

Jade shook his head dismissively.

Sensing she wouldn't get any more out of him, she turned back to Totem and Taboo, and they read in silence.

"The style and location of the house suited him, I can tell you that," Jade said after a while.

"The whole castle on a hill thing going on? Family as royalty?"

"That's what I'm thinking. I'm betting he chooses another elevated house. Set apart from the others. And there's all this"-Jade leaned closer, holding the book up to his nose-"errant prince-child complex s.h.i.t."

"The prodigal son avenging himself upon the king and queen-"