Should we have lacked the power to maintain meditative stability when engaging in rites of 'liberation', For whatever ways we have contradicted the buddha-mind of the male 'liberating' avengers, We seek your forgiveness, O [Citipati], master of 'liberating' avengers!17 Should we have failed to please the buddha-mind of the wrathful female emanations, For whatever ways we have contradicted the buddha-mind of the [gatekeeping] messengers who summon and guide,18 We seek your forgiveness, O [female gatekeepers], who swiftly enact the rites!

Should we have broken the continuous expression of love and affection through our laziness, For whatever ways we have contradicted the buddha-mind of our brothers and sisters, [our companions] on the path to enlightenment, We seek your forgiveness, O vajra-brothers and sisters!

Should we have allowed our commitments to degenerate out of trivial banter, For whatever ways we have contradicted the buddha-mind of those [protectors] who determine the outer and inner [boundaries of our precepts], We seek your forgiveness, O you [protectors] who keep vigil over the commitments!

Should we have consumed our resources [acc.u.mulated for the feast-offering], And allowed the first fruits of the residual offering to be spoiled, For whatever ways we have contradicted the buddha-mind of the subterranean G.o.ddesses within the outer retinue, We seek your forgiveness, O greatly compa.s.sionate ones!

Please be patient [with us], And bestow your pure spiritual accomplishments upon us!

PLAINTIVE CONFESSION OF RAMPANT EGOHOOD19.

OMO great compa.s.sionate and transcendent lord Vajrasattva, Whose supremely exquisite form, immaculate and white, Is suffused by a pure inner radiance, glowing like a hundred thousand suns and moons, [Emanating] heroic rays of light, which illuminate the chiliocosm, You who are known as the guide and teacher of the three levels of existence, The unique friend to all living beings of the three world-systems, O lord of loving kindness, deity of compa.s.sion, please attend to us!

From beginningless time, without end, I have roamed throughout cyclic existence - Led astray by the momentum of my mistaken past actions and improper past behaviour, I have mistaken the path and become lost on the path.

I regret with powerful remorse the negative past actions I have committed, of any kind.

Drawn by the momentum of momentary yet violently resonant past acts, I have sunk into this ocean of suffering, the sea of cyclic existence.

The fires of blazing hatred have unabatingly seared my mind, The dense darkness of delusion has blinded my discriminative awareness, The ocean coasts of desire have drowned my consciousness, The mountain of fierce pride has entombed me in the lower existences, The cruel whirlwind of envy has sucked20 me into these turning worlds, Where, entwined by the tight knot of egocentricity, I have fallen into the pit of desire, this chasm of blazing fires.

Unbearably brutal misery has poured down on me like heavy rain.

[Damaged] by such extreme and unbearable suffering, [Seared] by the blazing ferocious fires of my negative past actions, The shoots of my consciousness and sense faculties have been blunted.

If my body, this illusory aggregate, can no longer withstand [all this pain], How can you bear [to witness] this, O Compa.s.sionate Lord of Loving Kindness?21 Obscured fool [that I am, burdened by] the most negative, evil past acts, Propelled by the momentum of these past actions, I have taken birth as the personification of rampant egohood within this world-system of desire.

I regret having taken such birth, and am dismayed by my past acts!

Yet, regardless of my regret and my dismay, past actions cannot be re-made.

The momentum of past actions is as strong as a river's inexorable flow, So how can the mighty river of past actions be reversed in a mere moment!

All that ripens is born from one's own past actions, And I am one who has been swept along by the violent whirlwind of my past actions, And accordingly have roamed over countless past aeons, Lost within the dark prisons of cyclic existence.

O Lord of Loving Kindness, through the blessing of your compa.s.sion, Purify the obscurations [generated by] my past actions and dissonant mental states, And secure me in the presence of your mother-like loving kindness!

Here am I, continuously yearning for the sight of your compa.s.sionate face, Which shines with a luminosity like that of the sun, And radiates with a clarity like that of the moon.

Yet my darkened eyes, blinded by the cataracts22 of beginningless ignorance, Are unable to see you, O Lord of Living Beings, where are you [now]?

When I am terrified by the utterly unbearable and virulent power of past actions, And my hair stands on end, out of fear, I call out this lament, in heartfelt pa.s.sion, And cry out [to you] in a voice of utter despair!

O Lord of Loving Kindness, if you do not attend [to me] with compa.s.sion now, At the time of my death, when my mind and body separate, When I am cut off from the company of spiritual friends, and dragged away by Yama, At that time, when my relatives stay behind in the world, Yet I alone am led away by the power of past actions, At that time, I will be unprotected and without a refuge.

So, do not on any account hesitate or delay now, But draw near to me at this very moment, And enact the wrathful rites of 'liberation'.

Beings such as I, who are afflicted by past actions, Have been subject to misconceptions since beginningless time.

As a result, we have not achieved release from the [turning] states of cyclic existence.

Indeed, beings such as I have a.s.sumed such a countless number of corporeal forms, During countless births in countless aeons, That if our flesh and bones were to be collected together, Their acc.u.mulated ma.s.s would fill this world, And if our pus and blood were to be collected together, Their acc.u.mulated ma.s.s would fill a vast ocean, And if the residue of our past actions were to be collected together, Their extent would be beyond conception and inexpressible.

Though I have continued endlessly in a cycle of births and deaths, Throughout the three world-systems, The actions that I have committed have been pointless and unproductive.

Yet, from amongst all these many countless births, The actions committed in the course of just a single lifetime Could have been worthwhile if only I had trained well, Pursued the path of unsurpa.s.sed enlightenment, And thus attained the genuine final nirvna.

But, swayed by the virulence of past actions and the great potency of dissonant mental states, I have a.s.sumed bodies, these networks of flesh and blood, and roamed throughout cyclic existence, Thrust into [a succession of] prison-like existences, Where the suffering is hard to bear.

All my transgressions, resonant with such unbearably intense suffering, Have been born out of my own past actions.

Please, through your great compa.s.sion, shatter the momentum of [these] past actions, And reverse the vital energy of past actions, [generated by] dissonant mental states!

When, overpowered by the influence of perverse past actions [rooted in] fundamental ignorance, I wander perpetually within the darkness of unknowing, Why do you not release me, [suffusing me] with the lamplight of your pristine cognition?

When I can no longer bear the continuing fruition of my transgressions and past actions, Why do you not embrace me with the enlightened activity of your great compa.s.sion?

When I fall into the abyss of error, Why do you not catch me in the palm of your swift compa.s.sion?

When I am afflicted by the irresistible diseases of the three poisons, Why do you not cure me with the medicine of your compa.s.sionate skilful means?

When the fires of my suffering - the continuing maturation of my own past actions - blaze, Why do you not release a compa.s.sionate shower of cooling rains?

When I sink into the swamp of suffering in cyclic existence, Why do you not draw me up with the hook of compa.s.sionate skilful means?

Were I to attain the resultant [states of enlightenment], By training, again and again, in the three world-systems of cyclic existence, What need would there be for your sublime compa.s.sion then?

Given that this [release] would be the potent inheritance of my [positive] past actions, Would there be anyone to whom I would need to express my grat.i.tude?

[But], O spiritual warrior, you who are endowed with the power of compa.s.sion, Since the momentum of my [negative] past actions is so potent, Do not be ineffective! Do not be indifferent! Do not be inactive!

From your heart, O compa.s.sionate conquering deity, gaze upon me now!

Draw me up from the swamp of cyclic existence!

Lead me swiftly to the supreme level of the three buddha-bodies.

CONFESSION IN THE PRESENCE OF THE VIEW.

OM How mistaken is the view which dualises subject and object, When the expanse of reality is free from conceptual elaboration!

How deluded we have been by our grasping at characteristics!

We confess this transgression within the expanse of supreme bliss, Which is free from conceptual elaboration!

How debilitating is the view which dualises good and evil, When Samantabhadra, [The Ever Perfect], is beyond good and evil!

How pitiful we are, clinging to purity and impurity!

We confess this transgression within the expanse, Which is free from the duality of good and evil!

How mistaken is the view which sees buddhas [as great] and sentient beings [as small], When, in the state of sameness, there is neither great nor small!

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy of great and small!

We confess this transgression within the expanse of supreme bliss, which is sameness!

How debilitating is the view which dualises this life and the next, When the mind of enlightenment is free from birth or death!

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy of birth and death!

We confess this transgression within the deathless, immutable expanse!

How mistaken is the view which dualises form and material substance, When the supreme seminal point is free from spatial dimensions!

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy of corners and angles!

We confess this transgression within the supreme seminal point, which is all-embracing in its symmetry!23 How mistaken is the view which dualises beginning and end, When the essential nature of the three times is unchanging!

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy of transitional processes!

We confess this transgression within the expanse of the three times, which is unchanging!

How debilitating is the view which dualises cause and effect, When the naturally present pristine cognition arises effortlessly!

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy of effort and attainment!

We confess this transgression within the naturally present expanse, which arises without effort!

How pitiful is the view which dualises eternalism and nihilism, When the pristine cognition of [intrinsic] awareness is free from eternalism and nihilism!

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy of existence and non-existence!

We confess this transgression within the expanse of pristine cognition, which is beyond eternalism and nihilism!24 How debilitating is the view which oscillates between biased positions, When the pure expanse of reality is free from middle and extremes!

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy of middle and extremes!

We confess this transgression within the pure expanse of reality, which is free from a middle or extremes!

How debilitating is the view which dualises outside and inside, When the celestial palace is free from inner and outer dimensions!

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy of s.p.a.ciousness and confinement!

We confess this transgression within the expanse [of the celestial palace], Which is free from the duality of s.p.a.ciousness and confinement, or of inner and outer dimensions!

How pitiful is the view which dualises 'higher and lower' [approaches], When the s.e.xual centre of the female consort is free from [the distinction between] higher and lower [energy centres]!

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy between higher and lower [energy centres]!25 We confess this transgression within the expanse of the [consort's] secret place,26 Which is free from [the distinction between] higher and lower!

How debilitating is the view which dualises objects and mind, When the Buddha-body of Reality is free from individuated distinctions!

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy between the environment and its inhabitants!

We confess this transgression within [the expanse of] the Buddha-body of Reality, which is unchanging!

How debilitating is the view which discriminates between individual thoughts, When the dynamic of the male consort acts unconstrictedly!

How deluded we have been in clinging mistakenly to nominalism!

We confess this transgression within the expanse of the awareness holders, who are free from conceptual thoughts!

Since pristine cognition, which is intrinsic awareness, has not arisen within us, How pitiful is this mind obscured by ignorance, Which grasps immaterial phenomena as materially substantive!

We confess this transgression within the expanse of natural pristine cognition!

Since we have failed to understand the nature of uncreated truth, How tormented is this intellect of a bewildered being, Which apprehends the uncreated truth in terms of 'I' and 'mine'!

We confess this transgression within the expanse of supreme bliss, which is uncreated!

Since we have failed to mentally elucidate the nature of reality, We have not understood that phenomenal appearances are illusory, And thereby our minds have become attached to material wealth!

We confess this transgression within the uncreated reality, which is free from attachment!

Since we have failed to realise that cyclic existence is free from inherent existence, We have grasped at the self-existence of things and their characteristics, And thereby sought happiness through non-virtuous behaviour.

How deluded we have been in clinging to the dichotomy between hope and doubt!

We confess this transgression within the expanse of enlightenment, which is untainted!

Since we have failed to understand the truth of sameness with true equanimity, We have mistakenly clung to the permanence of relatives and friends.

How totally mistaken is this mind of ignorant people [such as ourselves]!