"You ought not to shake hands with a mere alferez," she said to her husband as the soldier left them. "He scarcely touched his helmet while you took off your hat. You don't know how to maintain your rank!"

"He's the b-boss here!"

"What do we care for that? We are Indians, perhaps?"

"You're right," he assented, not caring to quarrel. They passed in front of the officer's dwelling. Dona Consolacion was at the window, as usual, dressed in flannel and smoking her cigar. As the house was low, the two senoras measured one another with looks; Dona Victorina stared while the Muse of the Civil Guard examined her from head to foot, and then, sticking out her lower lip, turned her head away and spat on the ground. This used up the last of Dona Victorina's patience. Leaving her husband without support, she planted herself in front of the alfereza, trembling with anger from head to foot and unable to speak. Dona Consolacion slowly turned her head, calmly looked her over again, and once more spat, this time with greater disdain.

"What's the matter with you, Dona?" she asked.

"Can you tell me, senora, why you look at me so? Are you envious?" Dona Victorina was at length able to articulate.

"I, envious of you, I, of you?" drawled the Muse. "Yes, I envy you those frizzes!"

"Come, woman!" pleaded the doctor. "D-don't t-take any n-notice!"

"Let me teach this shameless slattern a lesson," replied his wife, giving him such a shove that he nearly kissed the ground. Then she again turned to Dona Consolacion.

"Remember who you're dealing with!" she exclaimed. "Don't think that I'm a provincial or a soldier's _querida!_ In my house in Manila the alfereces don't eater, they wait at the door."

"Oho, _Excelentisima Senora!_ Alfereces don't enter, but cripples do--like that one--ha, ha, ha!"

Had it not been for the rouge, Dona Victorian would have been seen to blush. She tried to get to her antagonist, but the sentinel stopped her. In the meantime the street was filling up with a curious crowd.

"Listen, I lower myself talking to you--people of quality--Don't you want to wash my clothes? I'll pay you well! Do you think that I don't know that you were a washerwoman_?_"

Dona Consolacion straightened up furiously; the remark about washing hurt her. "Do you think that we don't know who you are and what class of people you belong with? Get out, my husband has already told me! Senora, I at least have never belonged to more than one, but you? One must be dying of hunger to take the leavings, the mop of the whole world!"

This shot found its mark with Dona Victorina. She rolled up her sleeves, clenched her fists, and gritted her teeth. "Come down, old sow!" she cried. "I'm going to smash that dirty mouth of yours! _Querida_ of a battalion, filthy hag!"

The Muse immediately disappeared from the window and was soon seen running down the stairs flourishing her husband's whip.

Don Tiburcio interposed himself supplicatingly, but they would have come to blows had not the alferez arrived on the scene.

"Ladies! Don Tiburcio!"

"Train your woman better, buy her some decent clothes, and if you haven't any money left, rob the people--that's what you've got soldiers for!" yelled Dona Victorina.

"Here I am, senora! Why doesn't your Excellency smash my mouth? You're only tongue and spittle, Dona Excelencia!"

"Senora!" cried the alferez furiously to Dona Victorina, "be thankful that I remember that you're a woman or else I'd kick you to pieces--frizzes, ribbons, and all!"

"S-senor Alferez!"

"Get out, you quack! You don't wear the pants!"

The women brought into play words and gestures, insults and abuse, dragging out all the evil that was stored in the recesses of their minds. Since all four talked at once and said so many things that might hurt the prestige of certain classes by the truths that were brought to light, we forbear from recording what they said. The curious spectators, while they may not have understood all that was said, got not a little entertainment out of the scene and hoped that the affair would come to blows. Unfortunately for them, the curate came along and restored order.

"Senores! Senoras! What a shame! Senor Alferez!"

"What are you doing here, you hypocrite, Carlist!"

"Don Tiburcio, take your wife away! Senora, hold your tongue!"

"Say that to these robbers of the poor!"

Little by little the lexicon of epithets was exhausted, the review of shamelessness of the two couples completed, and with threats and insults they gradually drew away from one another. Fray Salvi moved from one group to the other, giving animation to the scene. Would that our friend the correspondent had been present!

"This very day we'll go to Manila and see the Captain-General!" declared the raging Dona Victorina to her husband. "You're not a man! It's a waste of money to buy trousers for you!"

"B-but, woman, the g-guards? I'm l-lame!"

"You must challenge him for pistol or sword, or--or--" Dona Victorina stared fixedly at his false teeth.

"My d-dear, I've never had hold of a--"

But she did not let him finish. With a majestic sweep of her hand she snatched out his false teeth and trampled them in the street.

Thus, he half-crying and she breathing fire, they reached the house. Linares was talking with Maria Clara, Sinang, and Victoria, and as he had heard nothing of the quarrel, became rather uneasy at sight of his cousins. Maria Clara, lying in an easy-chair among pillows and wraps, was greatly surprised to see the new physiognomy of her doctor.

"Cousin," began Dona Victorina, "you must challenge the alferez right away, or--"

"Why?" asked the startled Linares.

"You challenge him right now or else I'll tell everybody here who you are."

"But, Dona Victorina!"

The three girls exchanged glances.

"You'll see! The alferez has insulted us and said that you are what you are! His old hag came down with a whip and he, this thing here, permitted the insult--a man!"

"_Aba!_" exclaimed Sinang, "they're had a fight and we didn't see it!"

"The alferez smashed the doctor's teeth," observed Victoria.

"This very day we go to Manila. You, you stay here to challenge him or else I'll tell Don Santiago that all we're told him is a lie, I'll tell him--"

"But, Dona Victorina, Dona Victorina," interrupted the now pallid Linares, going up to her, "be calm, don't call up--" Then he added in a whisper, "Don't be imprudent, especially just now."

At that moment Capitan Tiago came in from the cockpit, sad and sighing; he had lost his _lasak_. But Dona Victorina left him no time to grieve. In a few words but with no lack of strong language she related what had happened, trying of course to put herself in the best light possible.

"Linares is going to challenge him, do you hear? If he doesn't, don't let him marry your daughter, don't you permit it! If he hasn't any courage, he doesn't deserve Clarita!"

"So you're going to marry this gentleman?" asked Sinang, but her merry eyes filled with tears. "I knew that you were prudent but not that you were fickle."

Pale as wax, Maria Clara partly rose and stared with frightened eyes at her father, at Dona Victorina, at Linares. The latter blushed, Capitan Tiago dropped his eyes, while the senora went on:

"Clarita, bear this in mind: never marry a man that doesn't wear trousers. You expose yourself to insults, even from the dogs!"