I had the news from Grand'mere that night after everyone had retired. I went to her room and demanded to know what was wrong.

She looked at me steadily for a few moments and then she said: "Drake is getting married."

"What?" I cried. "To Julia," she added. I could only stare at her, all my dreams of the future suddenly dissolving round me.

"She is sending invitations to the wedding. It is to be in two weeks' time."

I could think of nothing to say except, "So . . . soon."

"Yes. It seems it was a hasty decision." She did not meet my gaze. I said: "Oh . . . well. . . good night." I had to be alone. I was completely shattered. I felt suddenly numb with misery. I had not realized until then how very much I had cared for him.

I don't know how I got through the next day. It was hard to keep smiling for Katie. She wanted to know all about Paris. I told her much of what my father had told me. I knew that both the Countess and Cassie were shocked, by the manner in which they meticulously avoided any mention of Drake.

I was bitterly wounded. I thought I should never believe my own instincts again. I had been sure that he loved me.

It was quite impossible to keep up the pretence with Grand'mere.

The next night she came to my room after the household had retired, in the way she always did when there was something to say between us two alone.

She said: ''My darling, you need not pretend with me. I know how you feel. This is one big shock to you. I wondered how best to break it. I am afraid I did it clumsily."

"No ... no, you did not. I had to know quickly."

"And you cared for him?"

I nodded.

"I did not understand. I thought perhaps it was something you knew ... I thought perhaps you had told him you would not marry him . . . and he had turned to her. I thought you cared for him . . . and I was happy about that for I thought he was a good man. Oh, mon amour, do not bottle up these feelings. Let go. ... It's only the old Grand'mere. . . . You and I are too close for pretence."

"Oh Grand'mere . . . dear Grand'mere. I feel so ... so lost and bewildered. I do not know what I feel."

She came to me and held me in her arms rocking me as though I were a baby.

She said: "It will pass. All things pass. It is better that you do not marry such a man. He is clearly fickle . . . not what we thought him."

"Just because he prefers Julia."

"But he showed so clearly that he loved you. Then to do this ... it is not understandable. He came back the day after you left. He called that very day. Cassie saw him. I made her tell me everything that took place. Poor Cassie! She thought she had done some wrong. He was only in the place five minutes. He asked for you. Cassie said: 'She has left for Paris. She has gone with Monsieur St. Allengere and the Countess. They are going to look for premises for a salon there. They are very excited about it.' She said those were her very words. She said his face went very white. He said: 'I understand. I can't stay. I must leave at once.' She said he would not see me. She said he was not exactly curt but determined to go immediately."

"How very strange. He had always been so friendly with us all."

"He did not call again. And a little while ago there was this announcement of his engagement to Julia. She came here for her wedding costume.''

"Oh. . . no!"

"I could not turn down the order. It would have looked so odd. It would have betrayed us. The thing is made now. She's taken it. I hated doing it. But. . . what does it matter anyway?''

"Did she say anything about me?"

"Oh yes. She chattered all the time. Wasn't it wonderful that you were going to Paris at last? She knew it was what you had longed for. Wasn't life wonderful . . . full of surprises? And now she was going to be married to that wonderful Drake Aldringham. She said it would be such fun. She had always wanted to be in politics . . . which she would be with Drake. It would involve a great deal of entertaining. Every man wanted a woman behind him ... the right sort of woman. She was going to devote herself to his career."

"She is certainly a practised hostess."

"I think that is why he is marrying her."

"Do you think he would be so calculating?"

She nodded slowly.

"We have been quite mistaken in him and this is a blessing in disguise. Julia went on about you. She said you should not remain a widow. 'Do you know what I plan to do?' she asked. 'I am going to find a husband for her.' "

I covered my face with my hands.

"I know, my dearest. There was something about her . . . something malicious. Oh, I do not trust her. She is what you say ... a snake in the grass, that one. Never mind, ma cherie. They deserve each other. There will be little happiness there."

"They will understand each other," I said. "I obviously did not understand him."

"He is marrying Julia for her money."

"Somehow I can't believe that, Grand'mere."

"It is the general belief. Lady Travers was in here a few days ago. You know how she talks. She knows everything that is going on. Naturally she talked about Julia's coming marriage. 'Poor Julia,' she said, 'past the first flush of youth but still of an amorous nature. She was always angling for Drake Aldringham, and at last she has made him see what she can do for him.' I said, innocently, 'What can she do?' 'Drake has the seeds of something in him,' she said. 'He is ministerial material . . . might even aspire to the premiership . . . most of them do. Julia knows this. Wouldn't she like to be the P.M.'s wife! She sees herself as a Mary Anne Disraeli or a Catherine Gladstone. I am sure she would not be in the least like either of them. 'But at least she has money. And that is what Drake lacks. His family are rich enough but Drake has a special pride and wants to get on without parental assistance. 'I said, 'But he doesn't mind marrying someone for it. "That, my dear Madame Cleremont, is quite another matter.' I said I could not see that but she waved that aside. 'She will be able to entertain all the right people. Although she hasn't an inkling of what politics are about she will be an adept at pressing him onwards. We shall see. So this is the perfect timing-with an election in sight. The people love a wedding. Julia wants Drake and Drake wants Julia's money- the right combination for a successful marriage. She will have to stop her drinking. She is going too far with that. But perhaps Drake will be able to stop her.' "

"Grand'mere," I said. "I can't believe Drake is marrying her for her money.''

"I can think of no other reason for his doing so."

"Oh, Grand'mere," I said, "what am I to do?"

She stroked my hair. "There is only one thing you can do, ma cherie, and that is go on. Remember how it was when Philip died? You thought you had reached the lowest then. But time helped, did it not? And here there seemed a chance of happiness . . . but it was not to be. Now we have the Paris project. That is going to make us all very busy; and there is darling Katie who is so happy because you are back. The poor child has been moping and asking every day when you were coming home. He has failed you, Lenore, my love, but there are those who love you here."

I wept a little. I felt I could not hide my feeling from Grand'mere. She brought me one of her soothing concoctions and insisted on sitting with me until I slept.

The Countess could talk of nothing but Paris. She was so busy making plans that she did not notice the change in me-or perhaps I was good at hiding my feelings.

Katie was, as ever, a solace to me. She wanted me to tell her more of Paris. "I shall be there, shall I not?"

I said she certainly would. I told her about the children playing with their hoops in the gardens.

My father had returned to Paris to continue with the negotiations. I should join him there with the Countess and Grand'mere. Cassie would stay behind and we had a good manageress who could look after everything for a few weeks.

Our invitations arrived for Julia's wedding.

"I can't go," I said.

Grand'mere was silent; and I knew that meant that she thought I should. I tackled her with this.

She replied: "You cannot . . . how you say . . . wear the heart on the jacket for everyone to see. Cassie must go. She is the sister . . . and what of you? You were brought up with them. People will say, 'And where is Lenore?' And . . . 'Was she not angling for the young man herself? Is it jealousy then . . . envy? It is certainly odd that she is not at the wedding.' "

"It is monstrous that people should know so much of our private lives."

"Not odd at all ... they being so observant and we living as we do."

"If I go. . ."

"I will make you a beautiful costume for the occasion. Velvet I think . . . trimmed with sable. I have a beautiful length of blue velvet . . . such a lovely shade . . . not too bright . . . subtle. It will suit you to perfection. A small hat with an ostrich feather ... I know the thing."

"I shall hate going."

"I know. Just put in an appearance at the reception. You can come away quickly. The press will be there. After all he is a rising politician and she is well known for her parties in social circles.'The bride looked exquisite in her Lenore costume. . . . One notable absence was Lenore herself who is a close connection of the bride.' That must not be. Lenore must be there for it will be noticed."

"You are right, Grand'mere."

She nodded, pleased.

I had felt since I had heard the news that I was living in a dream from which I was going to wake up. Drake was not going to marry Julia. ... He couldn't . . . not after all the signs he had given me. I thought often of our meetings in the park and how they had enlivened the days. And now . . . that was over. Those encounters which had meant so much to me had meant nothing to him.

On the wedding day I dressed in my blue velvet and set the little hat with the ostrich feather on my head.

Grand'mere and the Countess clapped their hands when they saw me.

"Perfect . . . perfect ..." murmured the Countess.

She herself was elegantly arrayed, of course, for she would be at the reception. Julia was her protegee; she had seen her into her first marriage and was, I knew, dismayed, now that she was embarking on the second. Like Grand'mere she had designated Drake for me.

I did not go to the church. That was something I could not have endured. The reception was held in Julia's drawing room which was large enough for the occasion.

I glimpsed Drake standing beside her helping her to cut the cake and while the speeches were made and the toasts drunk. It struck me that he did not look very happy although he was smiling.

I felt my heart leap in dismay when he caught my eyes from across the room. I lowered mine. I could not trust myself to look at him.

I thought: I must get away. I looked for Cassie. She was talking with a group of friends. I would make my way to her and ask her if she were ready to leave.

Then he was at my side.

"Lenore," he said.

"Oh ..." I steeled myself to look at him. "Drake. Congratulations."

"Mine ... to you."

"To me?"

"On the Paris opening."

"Oh, you have heard of that?"

"Oh yes. Everyone is talking about it. What a stroke of luck for you."

"Yes . . . isn't it?"

"So good to have rich friends."

"My father will have a stake in the business."

"Your father?"

"Surely you knew. Didn't Cassie tell you when you called?"

"Cassie said you were in Paris . . . getting things going over there. I didn't know about your father."

"You saw him in the park."

He looked bewildered, "Don't you remember? He watched me several times. We noticed him. Julia called him my admirer."

He repeated: "Your father."

"It is a most romantic story. I had never seen him before. My mother died when I was born. They weren't married and his family sent Grand'mere to England with me."

Again he said: "Your father. . ."

"What's the matter, Drake, you look stunned."

"Julia said . . ."He stared at me. "We must talk. We must get out of here."

''You can't leave your wedding reception. In a little while you will be leaving for your honeymoon.''

He said quietly. ' 'I had no idea that the man was your father. I thought he was . . . your admirer . . . that you were taking money from him for this Paris project which was of so much importance to you."

"You thought ..."

"Yes," he said, "that he was your lover."

"What an idea! How did you get it? Surely you did not think . . . How could you? I hesitated to take the money from my father but Grand'mere and the Countess persuaded me . . . and he was so eager because he was ashamed of what he had done all those years ago and the fact that he had only just come back into my life."

"This is ... impossible." He looked round helplessly. "What have I done?"

I was beginning to understand. He had believed that I had a lover, that I had become the mistress of my admirer in the park in order to advance my business. And how had he come to accept that calumny? Because Julia had told him.

I hated her then with her highly coloured face beaming triumphantly at the guests. She had won.

I felt stifled. "I want to get away," I said.

"No," he insisted. "I have to talk to you. I have to explain."

"There is nothing more to explain, Drake."

"There is everything to explain. You must have known."