Gladys leaned in to her daughter. "And what life is that, dear?" she asked. "This place is all I've known for years."

"I just want you to get better," Marilyn said.

"You want me to get better for you," Gladys responded, "and I thank you for that." Then, staring intensely into her daughter's eyes, she added, "but, Norma Jeane, I want you you to get better for you." Mother and daughter just looked at each other for another long moment. Then Gladys suddenly changed the subject. She turned to the doctor and, touching the fur that was wrapped around her neck, told him that Norma Jeane had given it to her. When he said he thought it was beautiful, she looked pleased. She said that the hospital staff rarely let her have it. However, when the weather got cold, she'd ask for it, and usually the staff would give it to her. She suggested that he touch it. The doctor cautiously reached out and began to stroke the pelt, but when he did, Gladys winced and pulled back forcefully. "You have an evil touch," she said, her face suddenly darkening. All of this was just too much for Marilyn. With that, her tears began to flow again, unchecked. "You've upset Norma Jeane," Gladys told the doctor. "She can be very sensitive." to get better for you." Mother and daughter just looked at each other for another long moment. Then Gladys suddenly changed the subject. She turned to the doctor and, touching the fur that was wrapped around her neck, told him that Norma Jeane had given it to her. When he said he thought it was beautiful, she looked pleased. She said that the hospital staff rarely let her have it. However, when the weather got cold, she'd ask for it, and usually the staff would give it to her. She suggested that he touch it. The doctor cautiously reached out and began to stroke the pelt, but when he did, Gladys winced and pulled back forcefully. "You have an evil touch," she said, her face suddenly darkening. All of this was just too much for Marilyn. With that, her tears began to flow again, unchecked. "You've upset Norma Jeane," Gladys told the doctor. "She can be very sensitive."

Just then, according to the doctor's memory of these events, an elderly woman walked up behind Gladys. Oddly, the woman reached toward Gladys's hand and held it. Without saying a word, she just stood there.

"Who's this?" Marilyn asked, forcing a smile.

"This is Ginger," Gladys replied. "She's my friend."

"h.e.l.lo, Ginger," Marilyn said. "Would you like to join us?"

Gladys began to stand. "Ginger doesn't like visitors," she said, her voice now suddenly flat and devoid of expression. "We've got to go back inside."

As Gladys began to pick up her purse, Marilyn said, "No. Wait a moment." She reached into her own pocketbook and pulled out a small flask. Quickly, she slipped it inside her mother's purse.

Gladys, after a pause, seemed to perk up again. She gave her daughter a childish grin. "You're such a good girl, Norma Jeane," she said finally. "A very good girl." She smiled. Marilyn beamed back at her. Then Gladys turned and began to walk away.

Marilyn and the doctor watched as Gladys and Ginger made their way across the expansive lawn. Though they didn't know it, it would be the last time mother and daughter would ever lay eyes on one another. "I don't say goodbye," Gladys announced loudly, her back still to her daughter.

"She never has," Marilyn said quietly. "Maybe that's why I have to say it so often."

Pat: "My Friend Is Dying"

At about this same time-in mid-June 1962-Marilyn Monroe was scheduled to partic.i.p.ate in a number of photo shoots for Vogue Vogue and and Cosmopolitan Cosmopolitan magazines. She decided to keep those commitments. For one of the sessions, she wanted to use as a setting the beach behind Pat Kennedy Lawford's home. Therefore, she and Pat met for lunch to discuss the shoot and also to catch up as friends. "At this point, Pat didn't know what was going on with Marilyn and her brothers," said a Kennedy relative. "And she was afraid to ask... she was actually afraid to know." magazines. She decided to keep those commitments. For one of the sessions, she wanted to use as a setting the beach behind Pat Kennedy Lawford's home. Therefore, she and Pat met for lunch to discuss the shoot and also to catch up as friends. "At this point, Pat didn't know what was going on with Marilyn and her brothers," said a Kennedy relative. "And she was afraid to ask... she was actually afraid to know."

As soon as Marilyn showed up at her home, Pat could see that she was in terrible condition. According to a later recollection, Marilyn told her friend that she was "humiliated" by what had happened at Fox. She said that she had never before had so much anxiety in her life, but that she was now trying to focus on the future. "What's next?" she remarked. "That's what I want to concentrate on from now on." She indicated that she believed Something's Got to Give Something's Got to Give would go back into production. In fact, she said that she had sent telegrams to many of the actors apologizing to them and asking them to return. "However, I would like it if the entire crew was new," she told Pat, "because I don't know that I can face them. I let them all down and I think they probably hate me by now." She also told Pat that she felt that she was "on the brink of understanding what my problem is," and that all she needed was "more time. I know I can overcome this," she said cryptically. "I just need everyone to give me a little more time." would go back into production. In fact, she said that she had sent telegrams to many of the actors apologizing to them and asking them to return. "However, I would like it if the entire crew was new," she told Pat, "because I don't know that I can face them. I let them all down and I think they probably hate me by now." She also told Pat that she felt that she was "on the brink of understanding what my problem is," and that all she needed was "more time. I know I can overcome this," she said cryptically. "I just need everyone to give me a little more time."

Pat was worried. Marilyn seemed manic. A few of Pat's friends were having lunch on the patio when Marilyn arrived. Pat suggested that the two of them go out and join the group. "Maybe some sun will do us all some good," she offered. "Would you like a whiskey sour?" Marilyn, of course, said she would love a whiskey sour, but first she wanted Pat to do her a favor. "Please tell [the guests] that I am here and see their reaction. If it looks like they would hate it if I joined them, I won't." It seemed like such an odd request. However, there was little about Marilyn that made sense on this particular day. When she began mouthing words that Pat couldn't even make out, she decided it would be best if Marilyn didn't join the others, after all. Instead, as she later recalled it, she sat down with her friend at the bar and tried to have a serious discussion with her about the medication she was taking, and whether or not she was abusing it. It's not known what specifically was said during this talk, only that Marilyn became very upset. "I thought I was getting better," she told Pat as she rose to leave the house, "but now I see that I'm not. I'm worse, Pat. I'm worse than ever. Maybe I'm even worse than my mother, and she's pretty bad, Pat!" She then left in tears.

"After that, Pat was shaking all over," said the same Kennedy relative. "It was then, I think, that she decided that being forthright and honest with Marilyn was not a good idea. 'I now think I need to be like everyone else in her life and just tell her that everything is fine,' she said, 'because I don't think she can handle the truth.' Pat said that if it had been any other woman who was that troubled, she would have immediately called that friend's husband. But Marilyn had no one-just that creepy psychiatrist, and Pat didn't trust him at all. So she picked up the phone and called Joe [DiMaggio]. I don't know what she said to him, and I don't know his response. I only know that Pat was left with a feeling of dread. 'I felt that it was inevitable,' she said. 'I felt my friend is dying and that there wasn't a thing I could do about it.' "

In mid-June, Bobby and Ethel Kennedy were hosting a party at Hickory Hill, their home in Virginia, for Peter and Pat Lawford. Knowing that Marilyn was very close to Pat, they decided to invite her. One wonders, if Ethel believed Marilyn was having an affair with her husband, would she have invited her into her home? It seems doubtful. If Bobby was having relations with Marilyn, it also seems doubtful he would host her at Hickory Hill. A Kennedy relative recalls that the only trepidation about that evening had to do with how many people were, by now, well aware that Marilyn and JFK had been intimate. What would happen if Jackie decided to show up at the party? She wasn't invited, but what if? It was a risk. Maybe not one Marilyn was willing to take, though. She decided not to go, realizing that she would be seeing Bobby anyway at the end of the month at another party at Pete and Pat Lawford's. She sent this telegram to Ethel and Bobby on June 13, 1962: Dear Attorney General and Mrs. Robert Kennedy: I would have been delighted to have accepted your invitation honoring Pat and Peter Lawford. Unfortunately, I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. After all, all we demanded was our right to twinkle. Marilyn Monroe. Dear Attorney General and Mrs. Robert Kennedy: I would have been delighted to have accepted your invitation honoring Pat and Peter Lawford. Unfortunately, I am involved in a freedom ride protesting the loss of the minority rights belonging to the few remaining earthbound stars. After all, all we demanded was our right to twinkle. Marilyn Monroe.

On Wednesday June 26, 1962, Bobby Kennedy was scheduled to return to Los Angeles-without Ethel-and Peter and Pat planned to return the favor and host another party for him at their home. "I want Bobby to see my new house," Marilyn told Pat on the phone earlier that week. "Really?" Pat asked. "But why?" Marilyn didn't really have an answer. She just wanted him to see it, she said. Pat tried to explain that, logistically, it would be complicated. After all, Bobby was coming straight to their house from the airport. She could think of no reason to bring him to her home. "Well, there would a reason if you had to come and pick me up," Marilyn suggested. Of course, Marilyn could have driven to the Lawfords' home herself. She wouldn't let it go, though. So Pat gave in. On Monday, June 25, telephone records doc.u.ment that Marilyn called Bobby's office in Washington to confirm that he would be at the Lawfords' on Wednesday, and also to invite him to have a drink with her in her new home. She spoke to his secretary, Angie Novello, for one minute. And that's how the very unlikely situation unfolded that saw Peter Lawford driving his wife, Pat, and Bobby Kennedy to Marilyn Monroe's home on the twenty-eighth. Once there, Marilyn invited them in and showed Bobby around-Peter and Pat had previously been there.

How very curious that Marilyn had no pretense about her environment whatsoever. She was incredibly down-to-earth, especially when one considers how big a star she was at the time. Her home was quite modest, just a few rooms. It wasn't any bigger than the house the Bolenders owned in which she was raised. In fact, it was smaller! Yet she had no reservations at all about showing it off to Bobby Kennedy, a wealthy man who lived in an absolute mansion in Virginia on a sprawling estate. Her home was her home, and she was proud of it-no matter how small and inconsequential it may have seemed to outsiders-and she was eager to show it off. There were bigger concerns, she felt, than how much money she had or how well she displayed it. And in terms of housing, she was working on a more important structure. "As a person, my work is important to me," she said during an interview this very same month. "My work is the only ground I've ever had to stand on. Acting is very important. To put it bluntly, I seem to have a whole superstructure with no foundation. But I'm working on the foundation."

After just about a half hour, during which they sipped on gla.s.ses of sherry, the foursome got into Lawford's car and then drove to their oceanfront home. At the end of the evening, Bobby Kennedy's driver took back Marilyn Monroe back home-alone.

The Lost Weekend.

Pat Kennedy Lawford didn't know what to do about Marilyn Monroe. She didn't know if the stories she had heard through the grapevine about her brothers and her friend were true. Marilyn had definitely been saying that she was dating Bobby. However, Pat knew that one of those "dates" had actually been a dinner party at her home in her brother's honor, and that Marilyn had just been a guest. Whom could she believe? Certainly Marilyn had never been the most reliable source of information. She also couldn't depend on her brothers to tell her the truth. After all, it wasn't as if the Kennedy men were ever honest about their indiscretions. One thing seemed true, though. Bobby had told Marilyn to stop pestering his brother Jack, and she was very unhappy about it. Had she built up her in her mind her relationship with JFK to be something it wasn't? And if so, maybe she did have the poor judgment to somehow end up s.e.xually involved with Bobby. By this time, it was beginning to seem as if anything was possible, everyone's reality was just that skewed. "It was as if we were all caught in Marilyn's nightmare," said one Kennedy relative. "Everything sort of satellited around Marilyn's sickness and no one knew what was true and what wasn't, who was lying and who wasn't."

Desperate for some direction, Pat Kennedy Lawford telephoned Frank Mankiewicz, Bobby's press aide. * * "I told her, Pat, you should know better than to believe this nonsense," he recalled years later. "She said, 'Honest to G.o.d, Frank, I don't know what to believe anymore between what I hear Marilyn is saying and what everyone else is saying.' I said, 'Well, hear what I'm saying, Pat. It's not true. If it was, I would know and I don't, so it's not true.' She was so grateful. She said, 'Oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much.' " "I told her, Pat, you should know better than to believe this nonsense," he recalled years later. "She said, 'Honest to G.o.d, Frank, I don't know what to believe anymore between what I hear Marilyn is saying and what everyone else is saying.' I said, 'Well, hear what I'm saying, Pat. It's not true. If it was, I would know and I don't, so it's not true.' She was so grateful. She said, 'Oh, thank you so much. Thank you so much.' "

At this same time, Frank Sinatra called Pat-unusual, in that they seldom spoke-to say that he was sorry he had targeted her husband after President Kennedy decided not to stay at the Sinatra home in Palm Springs. He said that he wanted to invite the Lawfords to his resort, the Cal-Neva Lodge, for the weekend. (Though Frank and Peter were still not on good terms, for business reasons better left to a Peter Lawford biographer to explain, they tolerated each other from time to time.) Sinatra told Pat that he was performing in the main room and singers Buddy Greco and Roberta Linn were working in the lounge.

Cal-Neva, located exactly on the CaliforniaNevada border, boasted a beautiful showroom (where the same performers who frequented Las Vegas-Frank's friends, for the most part-appeared), an enormous dining room, plus about twenty furnished cottages that cost about fifty dollars a day. The luxurious gambling casinos were located on the Nevada side of the compound. It was advertised as "Heaven in the High Sierras." Pat was against the idea of flying to Nevada to see Sinatra. However, she felt she had to at least mention the invitation to her husband. He, of course, couldn't wait to go. If Frank wanted to mend fences, Peter was going to be at his side with a hammer and nails. "Pat and Peter had a bit of a disagreement about it," said Milt Ebbins. "All I can tell you is that Pat didn't want to go and Peter said, 'We can not turn down an invitation by Frank Sinatra. If Frank wants us there, we have to go.' Pat hated hearing that kind of stuff from Peter. But she buckled, and they went." Marilyn also said she would like to go. Upset about something that had just occurred with her mother at Rock Haven-it's unknown what, exactly-she said she could use a weekend away.

Therefore, against Pat's better judgment, she, Peter, and Marilyn departed for Nevada on July 27, 1962, in a private plane provided by Sinatra and copiloted by Dan Arney. "She had no makeup on," Arney recalled of Marilyn, "and I didn't realize who she was until we got into the airport and George [Jacobs, Sinatra's valet] came out in the station wagon and said, 'You know, that's Marilyn.' "

When the trio-Peter, Pat, and Marilyn-arrived, Sinatra greeted them and then installed Marilyn in Chalet 52, one of the quarters he always reserved for special guests. He then asked Peter and Pat to leave so that he could have some time with Marilyn. George Jacobs says that Frank had heard she was "having a crisis" in her life and wanted to know more about it. "He knew what was going on," said Jacobs, "I think, with the Kennedy business. Or, at least he heard rumors. He knew she was upset. He wanted to know more."

Mickey Rudin-who was both Marilyn's and Frank's attorney -said in 1996, "Frank is a very, very compa.s.sionate person. He brought Marilyn to Cal-Neva to give her a little fun, a little relief from her problems. If she was upset during the time, well, she could have a crisis over what she was having for lunch, she was that emotional and high-strung. She could have had an imagined imagined crisis, in fact." crisis, in fact."

However, Joe Langford, a Sinatra security employee at Cal-Neva, said that Marilyn's crisis that weekend seemed to not be of the imagined variety suggested by Mickey Rudin. "When Frank saw her, he was pretty shocked at how depressed she was," he recalled. "As soon as he got her settled in, he got on the phone with her psychiatrist [presumably Dr. Greenson] and started in on the guy. 'What the h.e.l.l kind of treatment are you giving her? She's a mess. What is she paying you for? Why isn't she in a sanitarium?' He hadn't seen her in a while and he couldn't believe how broken-down she was."

It's true that Sinatra was known to have great concern for his friends. However, that said, one of the biggest problems with him was that he also had terrible judgment when it came to some of those friends-many of whom were underworld characters. Moreover, he didn't seem to care whom he exposed his mob pals to, which was one of the big problems at Cal-Neva that weekend. About three hours after Pat and Peter Lawford arrived with Marilyn, they found a surprise waiting for them in the Cal-Neva lobby: Sam Giancana, one of the world's leading gangsters, who was deeply involved in all sorts of underworld activity, some of it reputedly having to do with the Kennedy brothers. As it happened, Sinatra had sent his private jet back to Los Angeles to pick him up and bring him to Cal-Neva. For Sinatra to have invited him to the resort at the same time as the president's sister and her husband made no sense. Naturally, Pat was upset. She wanted to turn around and fly right back to Los Angeles. In fact, according to a witness, as soon as she saw Giancana, she said, "That's it. We have to go."

Peter, who seemed embarra.s.sed because Pat had spoken loudly enough to have been heard by Giancana, walked over to the mobster and shook his hand, then began conversing with him. The two repeatedly glanced at Marilyn while they spoke, as if they were taking about her. Because Marilyn just looked at Giancana with a dazed expression, it's not known if she recognized him or not. "I don't feel well," she told Pat. "I can't fly again. We can't leave now."

Pat put her arm around Marilyn's shoulder and whispered something in her ear. However, whatever she said upset Marilyn. "I don't care," she said, now raising her voice. "I don't care about any of it. I just need to go and lie down, right now. Take me to my room, Pat. Right now." Right now."

With that, Peter walked quickly over to the two women and said something to them in an angry tone. Pat gave him a long, piercing look. Then, without saying a word to him, she led her friend away, her hand on the actress's elbow.

Roberta Linn, who was entertaining at Cal-Neva along with Frank Sinatra and Buddy Greco, recalled, "I remember that her hair was in disarray the entire time, sometimes hidden under a scarf. She was very sad and she seemed out of it. She was at Sinatra's show every night-he was performing in the main room, and she would sit in the back looking very unhappy. I thought it was such a shame, this girl who had everything in the world, yet nothing, really. It was very hard to see her in this condition."

Sinatra's friend Jim Whiting recalled, "Jilly [Rizzo, another close friend of Sinatra's] told me that Marilyn had some kind of bad reaction to alcohol while she was at Cal-Neva. It sounded like alcohol poisoning to me. She was also having stomach problems then and the booze along with the pills was, I guess, having a bad effect on her."

There was more to it than just pills and "booze," though. As earlier stated, Marilyn had developed the alarming habit of giving herself injections of phen.o.barbital, Nembutal, and Seconal-which she referred to as "a vitamin shot." Joe Langford confirmed, "On the day she opened her purse and pulled out those syringes, I was standing right there with Mr. Sinatra and Pat Kennedy Lawford. Marilyn was very casual about it. She was looking for something else and just pulled them out and put them on the table. Sinatra went white, like a sheet. He said, 'Marilyn. Jesus Christ. What are they they for?' She said, 'Oh, those are for my vitamin shots.' She was very nonchalant about it. Pat looked like she was going to faint. 'Oh my G.o.d, Marilyn,' she said. 'Oh my G.o.d.' Then Marilyn said, 'It's all right Pat. I know what I'm doing.' for?' She said, 'Oh, those are for my vitamin shots.' She was very nonchalant about it. Pat looked like she was going to faint. 'Oh my G.o.d, Marilyn,' she said. 'Oh my G.o.d.' Then Marilyn said, 'It's all right Pat. I know what I'm doing.'

"[Marilyn] was still going through her purse until, finally, she found what she was looking for: a pin. As we all stood there with our mouths open, she opened a bottle of pills and picked one out. Then-and I had never seen anything like this before-she put a small hole at the end of the capsule, and swallowed it. 'Gets into your bloodstream faster that way,' she said. She turned back to Pat and said, 'See, I told you I knew what I was doing.' "

Later that night, after Sinatra's performance in the main showroom at Cal-Neva, the Lawfords and friends shared a few c.o.c.ktails. Marilyn had only one drink. Still, she excused herself from the group, saying that she wasn't feeling well and needed to rest in her room. Sometime later Pat went to check on her. According to a later recollection, Pat knocked on Marilyn's door for a while before a wobbly Monroe let her in, then flopped back down on her bed. She was nauseous, she said. Pat grew concerned and asked Marilyn if she had taken another of her "vitamin shots." At some point, Marilyn became violently ill. Pat later said she knelt next to her, holding her friend's hair back as she threw up into the toilet. After this episode, Pat helped Marilyn change into a different outfit because the white blouse Marilyn had been wearing was stained with vomit. Marilyn then asked Pat to throw the top away in a trash can on the premises, claiming that "people will be going through the garbage in my room later."

Obviously, it turned out to be a very difficult weekend for all concerned at Cal-Neva, made even more so by the swarms of FBI agents due to Sam Giancana's presence. As a result of Sinatra's poor judgment, much fiction has been spun from the stories that have circulated-most of which are not true-about those couple of days in July 1962. Place Sinatra in a room with a Kennedy, a mobster, and a movie star, and what else can one expect but rumors, gossip, and innuendo? Add the FBI to the mix-with its theories presented as "fact" in its files-and it's a sure recipe for confusion. In fact, Marilyn Monroe aficionados refer to this brief period as "The Lost Weekend," because there have been so many conflicting stories about it.

What we do know is this: Marilyn Monroe was dreadfully sick, emotionally and physically, the entire time she was at Cal-Neva. Whenever she was left alone for even fifteen minutes, she would pop a couple more pills, take another "vitamin shot," and make herself even sicker. At one point during the weekend, Pat Kennedy Lawford raided Marilyn's purse and got rid of all of the syringes. "She's a very sick woman," Pat told Peter. That was an understatement. In fact, between July 1 and August 9, Marilyn had twenty-seven appointments with her psychiatrist, Greenson, and thirteen with her internist, Engelberg.

"Frank Sinatra didn't know what to think about any of it," said his valet, George Jacobs. "He was upset, though. He loved Marilyn, yes. But this was pushing it. For her to maybe die die at Cal-Neva while he was there? That would have been terrible. So, after he'd seen enough, he said, 'Get her out of here and get her out of here now.' And that was it. We had to do what he said, get her out of there. You know, you felt bad about it, yeah. I mean, the woman was sick. But as compa.s.sionate as Sinatra was, he had a line and she crossed it. He didn't want her dying at Cal-Neva, and that's just the truth of it." at Cal-Neva while he was there? That would have been terrible. So, after he'd seen enough, he said, 'Get her out of here and get her out of here now.' And that was it. We had to do what he said, get her out of there. You know, you felt bad about it, yeah. I mean, the woman was sick. But as compa.s.sionate as Sinatra was, he had a line and she crossed it. He didn't want her dying at Cal-Neva, and that's just the truth of it."

Ken Rotcop, who was a guest at Cal-Neva, recalled seeing Marilyn leave the resort. "She was shaking, she had chills, she looked very very sick." Stacy Baron, another guest of the hotel, recalled, "I was in the lobby and I saw Peter Lawford on one side of her and Pat on the other side and they were practically carrying this woman out of there. I recognized the two of them but I couldn't figure out who the woman was because she had her head down and was just sort of groggy. Then she raised her head and I got a real shock. It was Marilyn Monroe. I was stunned. And as I was standing there with my mouth open, I heard Pat say to Peter, 'This is all your fault, Peter. This is all your fault.' And Peter said, 'Not now, Pat. Jesus Christ, not now.' " I just watched them leave, thinking, my G.o.d! Marilyn Monroe looks like death."

"Maybe"

After Marilyn Monroe returned from Cal-Neva on July 29, 1962, she spent so much of the next few days alone behind the walls of her modest home in Brentwood, it made monitoring her state of mind a near impossibility. Only Eunice Murray and her doctors-Greenson and Engelberg-seemed to know what was really going on with her, and they weren't exactly forthcoming to her friends. "After Cal-Neva, Pat was worried to death for her," shared a friend of Mrs. Kennedy Lawford's. In the days after their return from Nevada, Pat tried to call Marilyn, with no success. Finally, she asked Peter to run an errand for her. Pat had salvaged the blouse Marilyn soiled in Reno and now saw its return as an opportunity for Peter to check in on her troubled friend. Therefore, Peter dropped by Marilyn's, and as Pat later reported, he found her in "better than good spirits." Pat was relieved. That evening, Pat telephoned Marilyn, who finally answered. Now she seemed distant and depressed, and this was mere hours after Peter's pleasant visit with her.

During their conversation, Pat questioned Marilyn about what she had done that day. Marilyn said that she had seen her doctor (not specifying which one), and, she claimed, the only other person she had come into contact with the entire day was Eunice Murray. Pat, knowing that her husband had spent the better part of an hour at Marilyn's, found her withholding of this information to be very odd. Peter had said he spent long enough time at her home to enjoy a c.o.c.ktail with her at the pool, and he even described her as having been in a "silly mood." However, Marilyn now painted a picture of her day without Peter as a part of it. Pat challenged Marilyn, explaining that she knew that Peter had been there to return the blouse, and she was baffled by Marilyn's reluctance to voluntarily discuss Peter's visit.

Though Marilyn apologized for not telling Pat about Peter's time there, Pat was more interested in why why she decided to withhold the information. Marilyn, when pressed, explained that she didn't want Pat to feel jealousy over Peter's visit. That explanation angered Pat and she let Marilyn know it. Marilyn, who was not used to Pat's clipped manner, began to cry and rea.s.sure her friend that nothing was going on between her and Peter. "I didn't think for a moment anything she decided to withhold the information. Marilyn, when pressed, explained that she didn't want Pat to feel jealousy over Peter's visit. That explanation angered Pat and she let Marilyn know it. Marilyn, who was not used to Pat's clipped manner, began to cry and rea.s.sure her friend that nothing was going on between her and Peter. "I didn't think for a moment anything was was," Pat told Marilyn, "and I still don't-because he's not attracted to you, Marilyn." Pat then went on to say that Peter didn't see Marilyn as a s.e.xual being, but more as a wounded child. "She told Marilyn that she thought it was sick that Marilyn viewed every man as wanting her and every woman as being jealous of her," this same intimate of Pat explained many years later. "Pat said that she thought Marilyn behaved like that because she had no important men in her life-no father, no brothers."

From this trustworthy source's account, it would seem that Marilyn took a browbeating from Pat that night. The call ended abruptly, at Pat's initiation. Unfortunately, this confrontation between good friends would never be fully resolved. However, it may have been that conversation that led Marilyn to reach out during this period to a man from her past she still called "Daddy."

"The phone rang one day when my mother was at the grocery store," recalled Nancy Jeffrey in an interview for this book. "Daddy [Wayne Bolender] answered. It was Marilyn. He wanted to know how she was doing, he had heard that she was having a hard time. She said that she was fine. She would never have shared with him any of her sorrow, though. My parents would watch things on TV and get very upset. I think they felt that maybe she should not have gone into show business, that maybe her life would have been better. Anyway, somewhere in the conversation, I know that she asked my father, 'Daddy, are you disappointed in the way my life has turned out?' And all he said was, 'Norma Jeane, I promised you on your wedding day that I would always love you-and I will keep that promise until the day I die. I still love you, Norma Jeane.' That's what he told me he told her, just like that."

Marilyn then revealed to Wayne Bolender the primary reason for her call. She asked if he had any paperwork from her time at his home so long ago that might help convince Stanley Gifford Sr. and his son, Stanley Gifford Jr., that she actually was related to them. He explained that, unfortunately, there was no such doc.u.mentation. It's been said that he also attempted to discourage her from contacting the Giffords again. He believed it would only lead to more disappointment for her. However, Marilyn wrapped up the call apparently undeterred. She would contact the Giffords again, she insisted. The next time she did so, they would listen. The next time she did so, they would believe her claim to be "one of them" was the truth.

While Stanley Gifford Jr. believes to this day that he is not related to Marilyn Monroe, there is no telling what five minutes in her presence could have done to sway him and his father. Even if they hadn't believed they were blood relatives, they could have been convinced to take Marilyn under their wings. There was at least a possibility that they may have seen in her what so many others already had-a woman who simply wanted what so many other people already have: a place to belong. Marilyn ended the phone call with her "Daddy" on an optimistic note. "Maybe that's what I need," she concluded. "Maybe if I find my brother, that will change everything."

As had happened so many times before, Marilyn Monroe's hopes for happiness in her future hinged on one word: Maybe.

Final CurtainShe is at peace and at rest now and may our G.o.d bless her and help her always. I... gave her Christian Science treatments for approximately a year... wanted her to be happy and joyous...- Gladys Baker Eley on the death of her daughter, Marilyn Monroe, in a previously unpublished letter, circa 1962 August 4, 1962. While there's no way to know with certainty what Marilyn Monroe's state of mind was on this day, she had every reason to at least be happier. Just a few days earlier, on August 1, she had signed a one-million-dollar contract with Fox for two pictures. Moreover, her attorney, Mickey Rudin, also settled the conflict with the studio over Something's Got to Give. Something's Got to Give. The movie was back on track and would begin filming again in October. The movie was back on track and would begin filming again in October. * *

Yet despite the bright possibilities that may have lain ahead, by most verifiable accounts, this Sat.u.r.day had not been a good one for Marilyn Monroe. She was experiencing extreme emotional highs and lows, and her contact with others during her depressive moments would leave many baffled by just why she was in such a state. Since most all of the princ.i.p.al players have contradicted each other, it may be impossible to establish who came and went from the Monroe household that day, and at what time. It is known that at some point, Dr. Greenson was called to the house by Eunice Murray. When he arrived, he found Marilyn in a drugged, depressed condition. A day earlier, Marilyn had filled a prescription (by Dr. Engelberg) for twenty-four-some have said twenty-five, but he said twenty-four-Nembutal, and it was believed that she had taken more than necessary. At another point, while Greenson was with Marilyn, Peter Lawford called. Marilyn said that she wished to talk to Bobby, but Peter was known to try and steer Marilyn away from that topic.

"Yes, I think she was fixated on Bobby that day," Peter Lawford would say years later. "I'm not sure why. One thing led to another, one obsession to another you might say until, I think, she had worked herself into a deep despondency over the Kennedys." Lawford continued with this observation. "The Kennedys may have been the subject of her great sadness," he said, "but the thing about Marilyn is this: While it may have been the Kennedys in that moment, in the one before it, it may have been Something's Got to Give Something's Got to Give, and in the moment after, Joe [DiMaggio]. Or maybe all three at the same time. There was no way to account for her mood swings... for her deep depressions. You can't blame the Kennedys. They were just a facet of a much bigger problem."

Marilyn had heard that Bobby was in San Francisco that weekend, scheduled to give an address the following Monday to the California Bar a.s.sociation. When she called Pat Kennedy Lawford, she was told that Bobby and his wife, Ethel, were staying at the St. Francis Hotel in San Francisco. It turns out, however, that they were staying at the ranch of John Bates, president of the Bar a.s.sociation, some sixty miles south of the city. It's unclear whether or not Pat was also attempting to shift Marilyn's focus off of the Kennedys. The closest of Marilyn's friends, the ones privy to her obsessions and their consequences, knew it was crucial to deflect her attention from the Kennedy brothers whenever possible.

At approximately 7 p.m. on August 4, Dr. Ralph Greenson left Marilyn's home, requesting that Eunice spend the night there to keep an eye on his patient. Around the time of Greenson's departure, Peter called to invite Marilyn to a dinner party at his home. She declined, which wasn't unusual for Marilyn-she had been known to take to her room on nights like this one, when she was attempting to endure one of her many emotional plunges. Marilyn brought a telephone into her bedroom and closed the door. It appears that the rest of this evening, indeed the rest of Marilyn's life, would be spent alone in this room, thus destroying any hope of detailing precisely what transpired that night within those four walls.

So, then, how did Marilyn most likely spend her last hours? She was undoubtedly becoming more and more affected by drugs. Whether they were the ones provided her by Dr. Engelberg or ones she took herself, the barbiturates that entered Marilyn's body that night were of a ma.s.sive volume.

If she had taken these willfully, she either intended to kill herself or had become so desperate to quiet her mind that she tossed reason aside and experimented with higher doses and possibly different delivery methods. It might be reasonable to a.s.sume that Marilyn, a woman who had administered numerous enemas to herself in the past, may have used this mode to ingest some of her dissolved Nembutal capsules. Yet, no matter how these drugs entered her system, Marilyn's consciousness had to have been growing increasingly compromised throughout that night.

It seems that she continued making telephone calls-but the number of calls is up for debate as well. Some people's claims that they had spoken to Marilyn on this night have been viewed with skepticism, the theory being that they had an interest in being remembered as a part of the mystique of the events that followed.

Later that fateful night, Peter called again. This time, he could sense Marilyn wasn't well. According to Peter, it was during this call that she said, "Say goodbye to Pat. Say goodbye to the president, and say goodbye to yourself because you're such a nice guy." Obviously, this was distressing and would seem to indicate that she was thinking about taking her life. Alarmed, Peter called Marilyn yet again; the line was engaged. He mentioned to his business partner, Milton Ebbins, that he was worried about her. He wanted to go to the house, but Ebbins was afraid that Marilyn had overdosed again and didn't want Peter-the president's brother-in-law-to be the one to find her. Ebbins called Marilyn's attorney, Mickey Rudin, who then rang the house at 9 p.m. He spoke to Eunice, who told him that Marilyn was fine, but whether or not Murray was able to confirm this (or even had an interest in doing so) is unknown.

The conflicting accounts of Marilyn's pa.s.sing occur after this time frame. The most oft-told version is this one, the events and timings based on official statements by Eunice Murray and Dr. Greenson.

At around 2 a.m., Eunice Murray called Dr. Greenson, alarmed because Marilyn's door was locked and she couldn't get into the bedroom. Greenson showed up five minutes later and went around to Marilyn's window. He saw the actress on her bed, frozen and lifeless. Breaking the gla.s.s, he let himself into the room. Once inside, he realized that she was dead, lying facedown, holding her telephone in her right hand with numerous open bottles of pills on her nightstand.

With the pa.s.sing of the years, many murder theories developed. Some involve Marilyn being killed by Bobby Kennedy, or at the orders of Bobby. Some implicate Peter Lawford. Some the FBI. Dr. Greenson. Eunice Murray. The Mafia. Of course, it's very easy to pin murders on dead people and intelligence agencies. It has to be noted here that the mystique of Marilyn's death would become a lifelong obsession for some, and the conspiracy theories born of it would serve an important purpose for these individuals. The belief that Marilyn had fallen victim to any one of a number of dastardly plans provides a macabre solace for those who felt her loss most deeply. The possibility that her death was at another's hands, or that its details will never be fully known, makes it a mystery virtually without a chance of being solved. If the way Marilyn met her end is unknown, in an odd way that keeps her alive-there's still more she has to reveal. In fact, debates about the circ.u.mstances surrounding that evening may never end, and whether or not they choose to admit it, that's just how many people want it.

Are there suspicious circ.u.mstances around Marilyn's death? Absolutely. For instance, the doctors and Murray waited almost two hours to contact the authorities. Why? No one has ever sufficiently answered that question. More intriguingly, Eunice would later say that there was no lock on Marilyn's door. If that's the case, then the entire story of how she was found seems to fall apart. There was very little drug residue found in Marilyn's stomach-and what was found wasn't properly a.n.a.lyzed. Also, there was some discoloration in her lower intestine. Do these facts support the theory that maybe she was given a lethal enema by... someone? Not really. Marilyn was a drug addict. It is a medical fact that an addict's stomach becomes accustomed to the drugs of choice and that they easily pa.s.s into the intestines. Many addicts die without a trace of pills in their stomachs. Also, an empty stomach does not preclude the possibility that pills were ingested over a number of hours, and the high levels of barbiturates found in Marilyn's liver testify to this. Perhaps if the autopsy had been more thorough, though, who knows what might have been concluded? Certainly, if she died today, with current science, there would be no mystery.

So, as always... the question remains: Suicide or murder?

All the byzantine theories of Marilyn's death share one common denominator: They involve an often frightened, vulnerable, unstable woman who had been spiraling deeper and deeper into her own mental illness. She was in a state of confusion, panic, and despair, and had been off and on for most of her life. If she had been a stable woman who had never overdosed in her lifetime, then, yes, one might legitimately question the circ.u.mstances of her death. However, this was a woman who over the years had overdosed more times than people in her circle could even recall-sometimes, it seemed, intentionally, sometimes maybe not. She could have died on any number of those occasions were it not for people like Natasha Lytess, Arthur Miller, Susan Strasberg, and the others who found and revived her. In fact, she overdosed twice just in the month before her death-at Cal-Neva and then at her home-and was saved both times. However, that night of August 4, tragically enough, no one came to her aid. Perhaps the only real question about her death is whether or not it was intentional. * *

It's been argued that Marilyn's upcoming prospects were so promising, she couldn't possibly have taken her own life. She supposedly had too much to live for. However, what was probably going on inside her mind had little correlation to those factors. When we consider her last moments on earth we need to focus on an unwell brain, not simply the enticing rewards of a movie star's existence. Marilyn's day-to-day happiness was not affected by a desire for more fame, more wealth, more success. To believe that her will to live could have been reclaimed by finishing Something's Got to Give Something's Got to Give or even by a million-dollar contract with Fox is absurd. To do so is to greatly underestimate the formidable opponent she faced-her own mental illness. To accept this unfortunate truth doesn't negate all that this woman was in her lifetime-it just forces one to accept that Marilyn's story isn't simply one of glamour and fame. In fact, it may not even be a story about "Marilyn Monroe" at all. or even by a million-dollar contract with Fox is absurd. To do so is to greatly underestimate the formidable opponent she faced-her own mental illness. To accept this unfortunate truth doesn't negate all that this woman was in her lifetime-it just forces one to accept that Marilyn's story isn't simply one of glamour and fame. In fact, it may not even be a story about "Marilyn Monroe" at all. * *

This is the story of a girl named Norma Jeane Mortensen. She thrived despite seemingly insurmountable obstacles and almost impossible odds. She created and became a woman more fascinating than even she believed possible. And in the face of her own failing mind, she battled to keep that creation alive-not for her, but for us. Indeed, Marilyn Monroe did did exist. Even though the woman inside her was at times doubtful of that fact, we knew it better than she did. She spent so much of her energy, her own will, projecting an image of impossible beauty and ultimate joy. Yet, as the end neared, her experience of who she truly was drifted farther and farther from that ideal-until she found it impossible to pretend anymore. Her choice, as awful as it may have been, was this: Admit to the world that Marilyn Monroe had become nothing more than smoke and mirrors, or die. exist. Even though the woman inside her was at times doubtful of that fact, we knew it better than she did. She spent so much of her energy, her own will, projecting an image of impossible beauty and ultimate joy. Yet, as the end neared, her experience of who she truly was drifted farther and farther from that ideal-until she found it impossible to pretend anymore. Her choice, as awful as it may have been, was this: Admit to the world that Marilyn Monroe had become nothing more than smoke and mirrors, or die.

On August 5, 1962, Marilyn Monroe gave the world all she had left to give-the knowledge that she was, and always would be... ours.

Norma Jeane Mortensen was born on June 1, 1926. This beautiful baby would, of course, grow up to one day become the great film star Marilyn Monroe. (Retro Photo) (Retro Photo)

A sad but beautiful photo of Marilyn the woman. This picture says it all about her: Vulnerable. Tragic. Gorgeous. (Getty Images) (Getty Images)

The way Gladys Baker is holding Norma Jeane-almost as if she were a baby doll- suggests that maybe she wasn't prepared to be a mother. Less than two weeks after giving birth, Gladys turned the infant over to foster parents, Ida and Wayne Bolender, to raise. (Getty Images) (Getty Images)

A very rare photo of Ida and Wayne Bolender with their foster children. Ida is holding the infant Norma Jeane in her arms. (Courtesy of Maryanne Reed Collection) (Courtesy of Maryanne Reed Collection)

A never-before-published photograph of the man Gladys Baker said was Norma Jeane's father, Charles Stanley Gifford Sr. His son, Charles Stanley Jr.- interviewed for this book- maintains that he and Marilyn Monroe are not related. (Retro Photo) (Retro Photo)

Gladys would sometimes visit her daughter at the Bolenders' and take her for the occasional outing, such as this one to the beach when the girl was about three. Still, because of her mental illness, it was difficult for her to ever forge a relationship with her child. (Getty Images) (Getty Images)

Norma Jeane at about four years of age. (Photofest) (Photofest)

Norma Jeane at age six. (Getty Images) (Getty Images)

Norma Jeane married her first husband, Jim Dougherty, in June 1942-but only so that she would not have to go into another orphanage. (Retro Photo) (Retro Photo)

Norma Jeane was a highly successful model long before she ever became Marilyn Monroe. Here she is in 1944, "wearing" some of her many covers. (Courtesy of Maryanne Reed Collection) (Courtesy of Maryanne Reed Collection)

The postcard Norma Jeane wrote to her half sister, Berniece, after meeting her for the first time in October 1944. (Getty Images) (Getty Images)

A very rare family photo taken at the Pacific Seas restaurant in September 1946, right after Norma Jeane was divorced from her first husband, James Dougherty. From left to right: Berniece Baker (Marilyn's half sister) and her daughter, Mona Rae; Grace G.o.ddard (Norma Jeane's beloved guardian) and her sister, Enid Knebelkamp; Norma Jeane, Norma Jeane's "Aunt" Ana and her mother, Gladys Baker. (Getty Images) (Getty Images)