Chapter 120.

The Council broke in silence, some to their duties, some to their beds. Cyrus waited, though, head down at the table, hearing them file out one by one. There was a taste of bitterness in his mouth, an acid in the back of his throat that caused him to realize he had not eaten a substantive meal in a day or perhaps two. Yet I do not hunger. His mouth was parched, he realized, but he didnat care.

aCyrus,a Longwell said, and he blinked at the dragoon. aThe first groups of survivors have begun to come through the portal. I wanted you to know.a He hesitated then looked across the table as though guilty of some crime, and Cyrusas gaze followed his to where Vara sat, in her seat, still reclined, watching them both.

aOut with it,a Cyrus said, but Longwell hesitated, casting a look at Vara, uncertain. aGo on.a aCattrine is with them,a Longwell said. aI have a allocated her quarters here in Sanctuary for the night. I did not wish to overstep my bounds, but as she was of the royal family of Actaluere, it seemed a appropriate, somehowa"a aThatas fine,a Cyrus said, with a dismissive hand.

Longwell nodded slowly then stepped aside, walking out the door. Behind him, Jaanda remained, as did Curatio. Vara was still in her seat, Cyrus noted, still looking quite weathereda"and beautiful. Always beautiful, even when sheas been through hell. Her cheeks looked thinner, but when she looked at him in response to his stare, he did not look away afterward.

Jaanda coughed. aI donat mean to interrupt your long, meaningful look at each other, but I did want to aa he paused. aWell, I had to show someone.a aShow someone what?a Vara said slowly, as though she were so tired that she were pushing the words out one syllable at a time.

aI stayed behind with the Luukessians on the beach when the cavalry teleported back here,a Jaanda said. aMyself and one of the druids went back with a couple rangers, back to the site of the bridge destruction, to go underwater, to see if we could find anything.a He looked down, chagrined. aWe used Nessalimaas light, as brightly as we could, and spells that allowed us to breathe underwater. We searched for two hours, shifted some of the rubblea"a aDid you find anything?a Cyrus cut him off, leaning forward. aDid you seea"a He stopped, and felt the pressure build in the back of his throat.

aWe found the bodies of more scourge than you would care to count,a Jaanda said quietly. aAnd this.a He reached into his robes and pulled something out, something rounded, and set it upon the table with a thunk, right where it usually sat on the table next to its ownera"

Alaricas helm.

Cyrus sagged back into his seat, felt the weight of the thing, the true loss it represented. He stared at it, the empty eye slits staring back at him, accusing hima" If only you had believed sooner. If only you had listened to me in Deathas Realma"

aThank you,a Cyrus said in a choked voice, and Jaanda nodded mournfully and shuffled toward the door. It shut quietly behind him, and Cyrus was left staring at the helm with Curatio, whose face was an iron mask of reserve mixed with regret, and Vara, whose lip actually quivered as she stared at it.

aThus ends an era,a Curatio said softly, almost too low to be heard. He placed his hand on the top of the helm and ran his palm across it, closing his eyes and bowing his head for a moment as though he were praying. aSo long, old friend,a he whispered, and then his long, weighted, shuffling steps were audible as he made his way across the floor of the Council Chambers and out the door. It shut just as quietly behind him.

aHe is truly gone, then,a Vara said, drawing his eyes toward her. Hers were rooted on the helm, and she stared at it with a little horror before she squinted her eyes shut and lowered her head onto her hand.

aI think so,a Cyrus said. aHe knew he wasnat going to get away from it. He talked about making sacrifices for what you believe in, and he gave me this,a he realized with a start, reaching under his armor and pulling out the pendant. He looked at it in the light. The smooth edges felt strange to his naked palms, and he removed it and set it beside his gauntlet on the table.

aHe was a Crusader to the last, then,a she said quietly. aDying for the cause he believed in.a aYes,a Cyrus said. aYes, he did.a But he did not look at her.

aCan we talk?a she asked, almost choking on her words as they came out. He looked at her in surprise. She watched him with greatest hesitation, even fear.

aI think a we are, right now.a aI meant about us,a she said, voice no more than a mere whisper. He strained to hear her, watching her as she spoke.

He blinked twice, stole a sidelong look at the hearth, and then turned his eyes back to the table in front of him, where the medallion rested, perfectly centered in front of him. No. aYes.a She rose, but he tried not to look at her for more than a few seconds at a stretch, always looking back to the medallion in front of him. aIt has been over a year since I watched you march out the front gates of Sanctuary aa He looked up. aI didnat know you were watching.a Calm. Cool. Uncaring.

aI was,a she said, placing her hand upon the arm of her chair as she stood, looking for support of some kind. aI watched you go, watched you ride off at the head of the army, and I wisheda"oh, how I wisheda"that I had said and done something far, far different when last we spoke. With every report of dismal news from your expedition, my fear worsened. I was certain that I would never see you again, that you would die in some far off place with the memory of our last conversation being what you remembered of me.a She took a tentative step toward him, crossing behind the next chaira"Nyadas, one of two between thema"and putting her hands delicately upon its back. aI did not wish to leave such a dark air between usa"a aI wouldnat worry about it,a Cyrus said, clearing his throat abruptly. He shook his head but still kept his eyes upon the surface of the table. aYou said what you needed to say. I can hardly fault you for feeling as you did, especially in the wake of a all that happened in Terminaa"a aI was afraid,a she said, and eased another step closer, behind Vasteas chair, using her hands to almost pull herself nearer to him. aI let fear guide my actions toward you, let my motheras fearsa"my fearsa"carry me along a path I donat wish to go downa"a aItas only natural,a Cyrus said, shaking his head, keeping his eyes away from hers, looking at the lines of the medallion, aonly natural to listen to reasonable instincts warning you away. I wonat live as long as you, after alla"a aYou very nearly outlived me today,a she said, interrupting him. aIf it hadnat been for you, for this army you brought with you, these eastern cavalrymen, I would have been dead. We live in dangerous times, and a dangerous sort of lifea"a aRight,a he said, aall the more reason to be cautious in our personal livesa"a aListen to me,a she snapped at him then eased closer behind Longwellas seat, the last between them. aIam sorry, I didnat mean to a I just a please, let me say this.a Cyrus nodded, but did not interrupt her. aI let fear rule me. The fear of losing something very precious to me, more precious than a anything else. Anyone else.a She took a breath, composed herself. aI lost my parents within days of each other. Lost my home. You already know my past, the things that happened to make me untrusting. None of these are excuses, but a after all that a I couldnat bear the thought of losing someone else, someone who has perhaps grown more important to me than any of the othersa"a aWe all feel the loss of Alaric,a Cyrus said, templing his fingers in front of him and bowing his head. aAnd it is particularly acute nowa"a aIam not talking about Alarica"a She ground the words out, practically in his ear, and he was forced to look up at her at last. She stared down at him, disbelieving. aI am talking about you.a Her face changed, softening. aYou have come to mean more to me than anyone else in my life.a Her hand came down upon his shoulder awkwardly and eased up to his cheek. He looked at her in surprise, not quite openmouthed but wide-eyed. aI pushed you away once before because I was afraid. Afraid after so many losses that I would lose a a good man. That I would lose you, perhaps not now but in the future, and feel that pain for the rest of my days, so sharply.a Her hand shook as it came to rest on his cheek, brushing against the stubble there. aI could not bear the thought of that loss. So I pushed you away. And I am aa her face crumpled, aso a sorry. So sorry I drove you away.a aItas all right,a Cyrus said and rose slowly. She eased toward him, wrapping her arms around him as he stood, pressing her face against his shoulder, against the blackened armor there. He felt the weight and press of her, smelled the aroma of battle that clung to her after days of fighting. It was a soothing feeling, having her close, and only a year earlier he would have welcomed it happily, exclaimed it inside with such fervent joya"

But now he felt only emptiness as he held her, the fire crackling in the hearth behind her. aItas okay,a he said. aI would have gone anyway, out of a sense of loyalty to Longwell, to help him. And I still would have stayed, because everything that happened afterward was my fault. I had to be there. It was my duty.a She looked up at him, lifting her head off his shoulder. aBut I could havea"should havea"been at your side. Been with you.a He shook his head slowly. aNo. You did well, you held Sanctuary together while I was gone. That was the task appointed you, and you did it marvelously, better than anyone else could have in your stead.a aBut aa she whispered, aa after all thatas happened a after all weave been through a do you think that thereas a chance a that you still feel for me the way you did on that bridge in Termina?a He took a deep breath, pondering his answer. aI donat know. There was a time when I believed in the idea of usa"you and mea"with everything in me. I believed that you and I could be together, could be something more, something greater than anything else Iad ever experienced in my life. I went to war for you, I killed for you, and I even tried to die in your stead, because I a loved you.a He said it slowly, and bits of it came out as though he were awakening to them. aI felt it so deeply in my bones, in my heart, that I would have done anything for you.a He lowered his head. aI donat believe that anymore.a She nodded sharply, almost in denial. aAnd a do you believe a you could ever feel that way about me a again?a He breathed out, slowly, felt the emptiness and the fatigue deep inside. aI donat know. I donat know anything right now, really a except my duty. Except the promises I made.a He blinked, as though he were coming out of a trance. aI havenat slept in days, or eaten. Iam so tired a I just donat know. Iam sorry.a aYes, well,a she started to withdraw from him, from his arms. Her hand remained rested on his breastplate, just above his heart, as though she could somehow touch it through the layers of armor and clothing. aI understand,a she said, her face firming up, settling into a mask of sorts into straight lines, the emotion sapping out of it, replaced with the face of the Vara he had come to knowa"back when I knew her. I havenat seen her in over a year. aI understand completely. It has been a some time, after all. And there have been a others a in the interim.a She said aothersa with a pang of regret so loud to his ears that it cried out to him.

aYes,a he admitted. aBut I donat know where I stand with them, either.a He placed his fingers over his face, massaging his temples. aIam sorry I have no answer for you.a aItas quite all right,a she said, and the regret now belonged to him as she slipped back to her old self. aI shouldnat have expected any less from our conquering General, weary from the battles heas fought to preserve us all from harm.a She gave him a quick nod. aPerhaps weall speak again latera"once youare a recovered.a She snapped to a more precise stance and walked toward the door, her back ramrod straight.

As he watched her go, it was her walk that gave her away. She had always been precise in her stride, evenly measured, crisp, almost marching. As she made her way to the door she kept the same stride but he could see the struggle in each step, as though she were having to drag her feet along away from him. It was a difference measured in time that would have been unnoticeable by most a and meant more to him than anything else she had said.

Chapter 121.

The knock at the door had stirred him out of sleep, a long, wearying sleep filled with old dreams, red eyes, and worse. The smell of his room was there when he snapped out of the deep weariness, opening his eyes and finding the stone ceilings above him, surrounding him. It took a moment to reacclimate, to adjust to his surroundings, to the fire in the hearth in front of him, filling the room with its smoky smell of home, to lick his lips and realize that the taste of the meat pie Larana had brought up to him was still on them, still hearty and good, better than anything head had while he had been away. The sheets were cool against his bare, clean skin, the shower in his own bathroom having done its job, the running water a beautiful luxury after his time away.

The knock jarred him again, reminded him why head awakened, and he forced his legs out from beneath the sheets. He wore fresh underclothes, for the first time ina"too long. He blinked the sleep away, then rubbed his eyes, and wondered who might be at the door. Longwell or Odellan with a report on the pursuit. He took a sharp intake of breath. Or someone elsea"perhaps with news of Alaric. His feet carried him to the door, bare feet padding across the cool stone, his step a little quicker with anticipation, and he threw open the doora"

aYou,a he said dully, the fatigue biting back down on him, hard.

aYou sound disappointed,a she said haltingly, staring at him over the threshold.

aNo,a he said. aJust surprised.a She stared at him coolly, hesitant. aMay I come in?a There was only a momentas thought on his part. aYes.a He stepped aside to let her in, but as she passed, something clicked in him and he leaned forward, his hand landing on her cheek and pulling her face to his. He kissed her, long, passionately, and she returned the kiss with all enthusiasm, one hand on his chest and the other tugging at his shirt, lifting it up as she broke from him for a moment. He lifted hers as well, kicking the door shut with his foot while he undressed her, leading her to the bed as he felt her slip his cloth pants off. His naked back hit the bed when she pushed him. The last of her clothing came off a moment later and she was upon him, kissing him deeply, the flavor of her in his mouth, then he pushed his lips against her neck. She rolled over and he was leaning atop her now. Their passions took over, and it was as though everything he had ever wanted were here, in this room, in this moment.

She kissed him, brought him close, and they made love, loudly and long into the night. When they were done, he fell asleep contented, his rest now dreamless and all his worries relieved, her head lying on his shoulder.

NOW.

Epilogue.

The noise was subtle but there. Cyrus heard it, out of the archives, on the staircase, the scrape of a shoe against stone. He put the journals aside and pulled a blade. Letting it point in front of him, he felt the strength surge through him from it. There was an odor blowing through now from the darkened plains outside. It smelled of decay, of rota"out of the east, no doubt.

He took a step forward, letting his armored boot land on the floor as quietly as he could make it. There was no fear in him, now, only caution. He could feel the weight of the sword in his grasp, the strength it gave hima"and the slightest twinge of hunger from his stomach, protesting loudly at having not eaten for hours. It sent a swell of dryness to his mouth, and reminded him to take a drink of water at his next conveniencea"a strange thought for a man who has just heard an intruder in a dead place. He stepped out of the archive into the Council Chambers, letting his eyes ease around the room. The fire was going in the hearth, the torches were all lit, and he waited, trying not to even breathe, listening for the sound outside the half-opened door, which was hanging partially off its hinges. He was at an angle where it was not possible to see the stairs, though he knew that whoever was climbing thema"or had already done soa"would have to enter his field of vision in moments.

Cyrus tensed, bringing his sword back for a swing. The weight of it was solid in his hand, and he held it straight back, ready. He let his breath out slowly then took another as quietly as he could.

aYou know,a came the voice through the open door, aif youare going to invite someone to a place, itas not really very sporting to sit just inside the door, waiting to ambush them.a Cyrus felt his breath all come out in a rush. aYou.a aMe,a the voice came again from the room outside. aWould you mind lowering your sword so I can come in without fear of being filleted?a Cyrus chuckled darkly and lowered the blade, putting it back into the scabbard that waited for it on the right side of his belt. aCome in.a aAbout time,a came the voice again, and the man who said it was only a moment behind it, stepping in past the broken doors, avoiding hitting his head on the low-hanging arch of the trim. aPlace looks like hell,a the man saida"though I wouldnat always have called him a man, Cyrus thought. Troll, in fact, would have been the preferred insult for quite some time.

aVaste,a Cyrus said with a nod. aItas good to see you.a aThanks,a Vaste replied. aI get the feeling you donat say that much anymore.a Cyrus shrugged, turning his back to the troll and walking toward the window. aPerhaps I might out of politeness. But meaning it? No. Not since aa he cast a hesitant, regretful look back. aWell. You know.a aI know.a There was a pause. aYou left poor Windrider meandering about outside. I felt bad for him. He looked lonely.a aHe knows the way to the stables,a Cyrus said idly, staring out into the dark.

aBecause thereas so much for a living horse to do in there,a Vaste quipped. He eyed his old chair at the table and bent over, picking it up and setting it upright again. aWhat are the odds that this old thing will still hold mya"a He pulled his hand away from it and it promptly broke in half along a split at the back, then the bottom collapsed under its own weight. aWell, damn.a aThereas a chair in the other room if youare of a mind to sit,a Cyrus said, waving at the archive.

aI donat really want to sit, but my body would appreciate it after a few days of unpleasant travel. Hard to find a ride down here nowadays.a aDo you blame aem?a Cyrus asked, looking over his shoulder dully at the troll.

Vaste pursed his lips. aNo. Not particularly. Not after what happened. Still, made it damned inconvenient to get here.a He stood in the middle of the room and looked around. aSo a before I go get that chair a you were serious, werenat you?a aAbout what?a aIn your letter.a Cyrus waved vaguely at the walls around them. aClearly.a aBut, I mean a the othera"a aYes,a Cyrus said quietly. aYes, I meant it.a He waited for Vaste to say something, something light and funny, something to redeem the darkness of the moment that felt as though it had seeped in from outside unchecked by the candles. aIt really is good to see you, by the way.a He looked and caught the troll staring back at him. aI meant it when I said it to you. I wasnat just being polite this time. Itas a good to see another one of us around.a aOne of us?a Vaste said mockingly. aYou mean a one of the handsome? The debonair?a There was that lightness I was looking for. Cyrus looked around the wrecked Council Chambers, felt the pervading sense of grief and loss that came with the memories of this place. It didnat have quite the effect I was looking for, he decided, looking back out the window. It never does anymore. aNo,a he said, and his eyes took in the world outsidea"darker than it had been a few years agoa"and with a so much less to believe in. aThatas not what I meant. I meanta"a aI know what you meant,a Vaste said. Cyrus felt the trollas tall presence next to him, and they looked out into the darkness together. Just like we always have. aI know what you meant. You meant aa The trollas scarred face grimaced, and his onyx eyes flicked toward Cyrus, the light dancing off them.

aSurvivors.a

Acknowledgments.

You'd think that with a book this size, the acknowledgments would correspondingly drone on and on, but I'm going to try and keep this brief. Unlike, you know, the book itself.

Heather Rodefer once again Editor-in-Chief'd her way through the entire, 400 typed page, 10 Point Times New Roman beast of a manuscript. She calls it my Encyclopedia. Let me tell you something, Ms. Editor-in-Chief - Encyclopedias don't have a plot. I'm pretty sure Crusader does. Somewhere in there. Muchas gracias, Heather.

Deb Wesley again kept me on track with the technical details, reminding me of things like the fact that horses would not be able to descend a spiral staircase. Whoops. Also, she helpfully substituted the words, "Whicker" and "neigh" for all the whinnying that happened. Just a little variety, you know. It helps. Thank you, Deb.

Robin McDermott took time out of her life to go over everything in fine detail and let me know I was calling Ryin Ayend by both his names on pretty much every occasion I referred to him. Sorry, Robin. It's fixed now. For that and a thousand other error corrections (and getting your Gmail address suspended while mailing the book to me in 30 pieces of scanned text) I thank you.

Paul Madsen helped give the book another good look over as final error correction when it was nearly ready to go. My thanks to the great Paul, who waited patiently for the book for...well, almost as long as the fans.

Thanks to two of Cyrus's biggest fans who read through to make sure I was on track with this story, David Leach and James Boggs. Their feedback was invaluable.

Once again the cover was designed by the incomparable Karri Klawiter, who should really be making a fortune as a mind reader. I'm glad she's not, though, because I need book covers.

Editing was once more handled by the great Sarah Barbour, who did this *while she was on vacation* and even did a second pass, heroically going back for more when I would have thrown in the towel, personally! Her dedication amazes me.

Much gracias also to my group of secret sprinters, who helped me drive through to the end of this work at high speed. Mad props, all.

Last in the roundup, but never least, is my parents, who came to stay with us during both the 2nd draft and 3rd draft of Crusader, which allowed me to work late in the night on the manuscript. Thank you both. Also, my wife and kids, who are the reason I do this and the reason I get to. Love to you all.

Author's Note.

Well, that took about forever to get out. Sorry. I hope you think it was worth the wait. It ended up a heck of a lot longer than I thought it was gonna be, and of course my other series took off like gangbusters, and since I do actually have to pay the bills, the adventures of Cyrus and Vara took a back seat for a bit. Sorry again. These books take a good long while to write, which is why it will be until 2014 before I can get volume five out. BUT! Don't despair too much, because I have a few Sanctuary offerings to hopefully whet your appetite between now and then. I've added a novel starring everyone's favorite (or least favorite) dark knight to my schedule (check out the teaser on the next page - it started as a novel but is pretty much a trilogy now) as well as a novel starring Aisling (that one's just a standalone novel - for now). They won't be as long as Crusader, obviously, or book five (teaser is on the same page as the one for the Terian novel) so I can write them more quickly and get them out to you without having to dedicate months to working on nothing but them (as I did with Crusader).

Anyway, again, I'm sorry for those of you who are waiting. I'd love to finish these main books (Volumes 5-8) sooner, but it's just not possible right now, not with the numbers it's selling. I will finish this series (and even add additional side books/trilogies and short stories) because I love the world of Arkaria and all its occupants, but it's going to be slower because of how big these books are. Thanks for your patience (if you have patience - I *really* appreciate it if you do) and if for some reason this series were to explode the way the other has (The Girl in the Box), selling tons and tons of books, I can pretty well promise I will be back to finish it sooner. I'm nothing if not a ruthless mercenary. Meat pies don't pay for themselves, after all...

If you want to know as soon as the next volumes are released, CLICK HERE to sign up for my mailing list. I promise I wonat spam you (I only send an email when I have a new book released) and Iall never sell your info. You can also unsubscribe at any time.

Thanks for your support and thanks for reading!.

Robert J. Crane.

About the Author.

Robert J. Crane was born and raised on Floridaas Space Coast before moving to the upper midwest in search of cooler climates and more palatable beer. He graduated from the University of Central Florida with a degree in English Creative Writing. He worked for a year as a substitute teacher and worked in the financial services field for seven years while writing in his spare time. He makes his home in the Twin Cities area of Minnesota.

Become a fan on Goodreads a" http://www.goodreads.com/RobertJCrane.

Cyrus Davidon will return in.

MASTER.

THE SANCTUARY SERIES, VOLUME FIVE.

The disappearance and presumed death of Alaric Garaunt has thrown the guild of Sanctuary into chaos. Added to the upheaval are the sudden disappearance of Sanctuary's old allies, The Daring, the resurgence of the Dark Elves in the war, and a mystery brought to Cyrus Davidon by an old friend. As the darkness rises in the land of Arkaria, Sanctuary must find a way through their struggles to unify, even as a battle between two pillars of the guild threatens to tear them asunder once and for all.

Coming in 2014.

But first...

THY FATHER'S SHADOW.

A SANCTUARY NOVEL.

BOOK ONE OF THE KNIGHT OF SHADOWS TRILOGY.

Terian Lepos is a man without a home. Cast out of Sanctuary, he wanders the land of Arkaria until a messenger arrives with a curious offer, one that will take Terian into the darkness of Saekaj Sovar, a place he thought he had long ago left behind, and into the service of the Dark Elven Sovereignty, where he will face his worst fear - his father, and the secret that drove him from his homeland once before.

Coming Autumn 2013!.

Other Works by Robert J. Crane.

The Sanctuary Series Epic Fantasy.

Defender: The Sanctuary Series, Volume One.

Avenger: The Sanctuary Series, Volume Two Champion: The Sanctuary Series, Volume Three Crusader: The Sanctuary Series, Volume Four Master: The Sanctuary Series, Volume Five*

Thy Father's Shadow: A Sanctuary Novel*

Savages: A Sanctuary Short Story.

A Familiar Face: A Sanctuary Short Story The Girl in the Box.

Contemporary Urban Fantasy.

Alone: The Girl in the Box, Book 1 Untouched: The Girl in the Box, Book 2 Soulless: The Girl in the Box, Book 3 Family: The Girl in the Box, Book 4 Omega: The Girl in the Box, Book 5 Broken: The Girl in the Box, Book 6 Enemies: The Girl in the Box, Book 7*

Legacy: The Girl in the Box, Book 8*

Southern Watch Contemporary Urban Fantasy.

Called: Southern Watch, Book 1*

*Forthcoming.