Lucy sat up and casually looked out as the bus route pa.s.sed her sister's house. She glanced at her watch, thinking it odd that the bedroom curtains were still closed ...

She was startled when Johnny spoke in her ear. 'Didn't you mention that was where your sister lives? Paula, isn't it?'

'You've got a good memory!' Lucy replied. 'I'm sure she was due to start her new job at the petrol station today ... early shift, she said. But just now I noticed the bedoom curtains are still closed. She's either had a late night out with her pals, and is still sleeping it off, or she's changed her mind about the job.'

'Or maybe she just forgot to open the curtains,' Johnny suggested.

Lucy nodded. 'I hope you're right. Yes, maybe that's what she's done. She's a good sort, really, and we get on well, but there are times when she's her own worst enemy. Her late nights and devil-may-care att.i.tude have already lost her two jobs. How she is ever going to sort out her life, I don't know.'

She made a mental note to pop in and see her sister soon. She would feel much better once she knew Paula was all right.

'Hey, Paula!' Martin was lazing in bed when Paula went across to the window to peek out.

'You'll never guess who I just saw,' Paula teased him, turning with a wicked little smile on her face.

'I don't care who you saw,' he replied, 'because whoever it is, they're spoiling my fun. Come back here, wench. I'm not done with you yet.' His hungry gaze swept her slim, naked body. He loved her firm, toned figure and pert little b.r.e.a.s.t.s. When he took her in his arms, nothing else mattered; especially not Lucy who, compared to her sister, seemed old and shapeless before her time.

He did hold a measure of affection for Lucy. After all, the two of them had been together a long time ... maybe too long, he mused.

Paula laughed as she hurried to the wardrobe. 'Sorry, lover, but your time's up. You've had your fun, and now it's time to go!' She rolled her eyes. 'I should have started work half an hour ago, so now I need to get there. I'll have to drum up some sort of apology and smile nicely at the manager.' Her manner grew serious. 'Honestly, Martin, I really can't afford to lose another job.'

Seeing that his fun was definitely over for today, Martin reluctantly slithered out of bed and began to pull on his trousers. 'OK, you win. But you will make it up to me some other time ... won't you?'

'Of course.' Keeping her distance, she flirted with him as he dressed. 'You know very well that goes without saying,' she told him softly.

Martin picked up on what she had said earlier. 'So, who did you see just now through the window?'

'I saw your wife ... my dear sister, Lucy,' she answered mockingly.

'What! You saw Lucy? Oh my G.o.d! Was she at the door?' Shocked, he quickly buckled up his trouser-belt and yanked his shirt on. 'Is she downstairs?' His voice shook. 'Quick! Get rid of her!'

Paula enjoyed seeing him panic. 'Calm down,' she giggled. 'She was on the bus. Just as I looked out, she was already turning away. So don't worry, our sordid little secret is still safe.'

Shaken by the possibility that Lucy might discover what he and Paula were up to, Martin slumped onto the bed. 'What the h.e.l.l is she doing on the bus? She should be at work, not gallivanting about on the d.a.m.ned bus.'

Paula shrugged. 'Don't ask me, because I'm sure I don't know.' She decided to wind him up further. 'I suppose she could be coming to see me even yet. Maybe she's got off at the bottom of the street and she's on her way here right now!'

'For pity's sake, head her off. I'll sneak out the back.'

Paula laughed. 'Relax! Lucy wouldn't be coming round here now she knows I'm starting a new job today and even if she did find out we were carrying on behind her back, she'd probably forgive us.'

'Huh! You wish!' Martin was now hurrying to the door. 'She might be soft-hearted, but there is no way she would forgive us. Lucy might not have much going for her but, as you well know, she would be devastated if she found out we'd betrayed her.'

A teeny bit jealous, Paula was suddenly curious. 'If you had to choose between me and her, who would you choose?'

But Martin wasn't listening. 'I don't understand. Why isn't she at work? You know what a stickler she is for keeping time. So, what's going on? Are you sure it was Lucy on the bus?'

Just then the telephone rang and he almost leaped out of his skin.

'Stay there!' Paula threw on her dressing gown, and ran down the stairs.

Nervously, Martin crept to the door to listen, greatly relieved when he realised that the caller was Paula's new boss, asking why she was not yet at work.

'I'm sorry, sir, but I had a burst pipe in the kitchen. I've managed to get the plumber here, and I've asked a neighbour to come and stay until he's finished. I should be with you in about fifteen minutes.' She put on her sweetest little-girl voice. 'I know I should have called you, but it's been frantic. I've been so worried, I just didn't have time to call and explain.'

There was a pause, while Paula was listening, and then Martin heard her promising, 'Half an hour at the outside, yes, and I'll work the extra time if you want me to. Yes, all right, thank you.'

Before she could replace the receiver, Martin was downstairs and grabbing her. 'Got to go.' He kissed her full on the mouth before reluctantly releasing her. 'You and me ... we're all right together, aren't we?'

Her answer was to wrap her arms round his neck and draw him in to her. 'Can I ask you something?'

'Ask away.'

'Do you really want me? Would you leave Lucy to be with me?'

'Are you serious?' Martin was nervous. 'I mean ... after your divorce and all the nastiness, I thought the last thing you might want is to shack up with another man ... least of all your sister's husband.'

'Well, you were wrong. It might have been that way at first, but I think I've fallen for you, and I want to make it permanent.' She paused, her gaze hardening. 'Or do you just want fun with no strings attached? Is that it?'

'No!' Martin was adamant. 'I never thought of us in that way.'

She visibly relaxed. 'Well, that's OK, because I never thought of us in that way either.'

Martin was delighted and shocked by her serious suggestion that he should leave Lucy. 'I would never willingly hurt you ... not after what your ex put you through.'

'I took it bad, I know.' She cast her mind back. 'That day when you found me crying ... when you held me for the very first time, I was in pieces. But I'm well over that now. It didn't take me long to realise that ending the marriage was right for both of us. Never having had children made it easier somehow.'

'Did you want children?'

Paula shrugged. 'I don't suppose I would have minded, but it just never happened. I think Ray was bitterly disappointed about that. As it turned out, though, it's just as well, don't you think?'

'I don't really know but, like you say, I'm sure it meant that it was easier to end the marriage.'

'To tell the truth, I think I stopped loving him a long time before we decided to break up. In the end it was a relief to see the back of him. He was lazy, quick to temper, and he never showed me any tenderness. You're different, though, Martin. You're exciting and loving, and you know how to make me happy.'

'Really?' He gave her a sly little smile. 'That's nice to know.'

'No! I didn't mean it like that,' she a.s.sured him. 'You make me happy in lots of other ways ... and you care for me like a man should.'

'Well, I'm glad you think like that, but it's like I just said, you and me, we're all right together, and that's good, apart from the fact that I'm a taken man ... married to your own sister, no less.'

Guilt darkened his face. 'Trouble is, I can't seem to keep away from you, and whatever you might think, I do have a conscience about cheating on Lucy.'

'So, why do you cheat on her, if it feels wrong?'

'Because I love you, that's why.' He tried to explain. 'Remind me again ... how many years younger than Lucy are you?'

'Three minus a few weeks. I'm thirty-seven and she's just round the corner from her fortieth birthday. But what's that got to do with anything?'

'Well, it's just that here you are, only three years younger than Lucy, and yet I swear anyone could be forgiven for thinking you were ten years younger.'

'Thank you!' Paula smiled. 'I'm thrilled that you should think that, but I don't imagine Lucy would be so pleased.'

'Oh, but it's true, and it's not just your youthful appearance, although that says a lot. Compared to Lucy, you're much younger in your att.i.tude; you are always bright and pretty, and full of life.' Running his hands down her long, brown hair, he smiled into her bright, almond-coloured eyes. 'Hand on heart, Paula, I reckon you could easily pa.s.s for a young woman of twenty-one, twenty-two, any day ... while Lucy could easily be mistaken for an older middle-aged woman.'

'Don't say that.'

'But it's true, and you know it as well as I do. She's old in her ways. She acts and dresses like she's middle-aged. She never fusses over her appearance, or wears make-up. She won't spend money on having her hair done, or her nails painted. She frets if the meals are late. She panics if everything is short of perfect. She's refused so often to come with me to the pub when I'm in a darts match that I stopped asking her a long time back. And to be honest, I can't remember the last time we went out together, or when she actually laughed out loud.'

Paula gently rounded on him. 'Don't be too hard on her, Martin. You know as well as I do, Lucy is a good woman. She loves the family, and she's always there for anyone in trouble. She's a better woman than I will ever be.'

'I do not believe that. You've been through a lot lately. You deserve a bit of fun and love in your life. As for Lucy, I wasn't running her down. I was just stating the facts. I know it's a pity, but she will never change, not now.'

'But she's a decent sort, whereas I'm just a flighty tart. I spend too much time at the mirror, and too much money having my hair styled and cut. I spend a fortune on make-up, and I couldn't cook a dinner for four if I tried my best.'

'Maybe. But you know how to laugh. You can make a man feel good, and you hit life at the run. That's what makes you so exciting. At the end of the day, that's what any man wants in his woman: excitement, laughter, being able to discuss anything and nothing with her, and the occasional fierce rows, and ending up in bed together afterwards.'

Paula grew serious. 'You say that, Martin. But you have a wife who keeps your shirts washed and ironed. She's good with money. She holds down a job and still manages to put a piping-hot meal in front of you when you sit down at the table. She never walks away from trouble, yet she never yells or argues. And she always puts your welfare and the family's welfare before her own. Am I right?'

'I suppose.' Martin reflected on her words. 'Yes ... Lucy is everything you say, and I love her very much, but not in the way a man should love his wife. And maybe it's my fault, because I was the one who made her pregnant when we were just schoolkids. After that, there was no choice for either of us. So now, we're stuck in a life where there is no closeness, no fire, no tenderness, and nothing to look forward to except more of the same.'

When he seemed to lapse into thought, Paula interrupted, 'So ... Martin? Have you thought about my question?'

He gave a deep sigh. 'Yes.' His answer was so quiet, she could only just hear it. 'I would leave Lucy, yes ... without a shadow of doubt.' He craved the idea of making a permanent life with Paula.

But when he reached out to take her, she pushed him away. 'I think it's time you went.'

'What? No kisses, no hugs, just "get off to work". Is that it?'

'Yes ... for now, anyway. But there'll be time enough to talk again.' Her sister, Lucy, was at the forefront of Paula's mind, and for the slightest moment, she felt small, and deeply ashamed.

As always, though, the moment soon pa.s.sed.

A short time later, she stood at the kitchen window and watched him hurry away. She was astonished to learn that, like her, Martin wanted them to be together permanently. I never believed you would leave Lucy for me, she thought, and the awful truth is ... I would not try to stop you, because even though I love Lucy, I love you more.

Determined to push Lucy from her mind, she set about getting herself ready for work.

Mary Taylor, Paula's neighbour, called her husband to the window. 'Look at him run!' She pointed at Martin as he scuttled down the alley to his van. 'Like a thief in the night!' she declared angrily. 'They should be ashamed ... the pair of them! I've got a good mind to tell his wife what they're up to!'

'You'll do no such thing.' Peter was a gentle soul, content with his quiet life. 'It would only do more harm than good, and besides, I've told you before, it's none of our business. Just leave it be. Let them sort it out in their own way. All right?'

When she turned away without giving him an answer, he insisted, 'Mary! Promise me you won't interfere!'

Mary gave a smile and a kind of nod. 'All right, I hear you! Now stop worrying. Finish your breakfast and go for your newspapers. Oh, and you'd best take Rascal with you.' She glanced at the little brown terrier stretched out on the rug. 'He's been waiting patiently. Don't wear him out, though. I might take him to the park later, when you're meeting up with your old cronies.'

'I won't wear him out.'

'Good!' She discreetly looked her husband up and down, noting the droop of his once-broad shoulders and the grey whiskers in his long, curly beard. She glanced at the little terrier and saw the grey whiskers on his chin also; it made her smile to see the resemblance between man and dog. 'Take it easy, you two,' she instructed. 'Neither of you is as young as you used to be.'

'Hey! Enough of that. You know what they say: you're only as old as you feel.'

'Oh, so you feel young and sprightly, do you?' Edging towards him, she gave a cheeky wink. 'Come on then, let's see what you're made of.'

'Don't be daft, woman. What's wrong with you?' He scrambled out of the chair to grab his coat, and she burst out laughing. 'You're a wicked woman!' he chided her.

'Not as wicked as her down the street!' Mary retorted. 'What woman with any decency would bed her own sister's husband? Not to mention breaking her own marriage by flirting and carrying on with the lodger. Shameful, that's what it is. I'm not surprised her poor husband fled to the hills.'

'Behave yourself!' Peter was never a man to gossip. 'And anyway, you don't know she's "bedding" her sister's husband.'

'Take it from me, Peter,' tapping the side of her nose, she gave a little smile, 'a woman knows these things.'

'Right, well, I'm off. Come on, Rascal!' The little dog was already at the door, chasing backwards and forwards with his tongue hanging out.

When Peter opened the door, the dog set off at a run, clambering at the garden gate, impatient to be away.

Deep in thought, Mary resumed her ch.o.r.es at the sink, one eye on her husband as he went down the garden path. 'Huh! Don't tell me that little s.l.u.t is not bedding Martin Lovejoy, because I would bet my life on it,' she muttered.

Less than two miles away, Martin drew up at the old barn he was renovating. He yanked on the brake, then switched off the van engine.

He began whistling merrily, happy in the knowledge that Paula wanted the same things he did, but fell silent a moment later when Lucy crept into his mind.

For a few painful minutes he continued to think about Lucy, and how she would react if he ever had the courage to tell her about him and Paula. It's sure to be a messy, hurtful business if I break with Lucy, he thought, leaning back in his seat. Lucy and me, though ... he slowly shook his head ... there's just nothing there, and hasn't been for a long time. At least not on my side.

He was truly sorry about Lucy, but he was determined to grab his happiness as soon as he could. It wasn't her fault ... they had been just kids learning about life. Too young to realise the consequences of what they did.

Looking back, he believed he was more to blame than Lucy. Me ... the big man in the school ground ... I had to have her, and I've paid the price ever since. Serves me b.l.o.o.d.y right! Thumping the dashboard, he softly cursed, thinking back, hating himself, hating Lucy, then loving her. I just can't spend the rest of my life with her ... not now I know that Paula wants me, he decided.

He tried to visualise what Lucy might say when he told her he and Paula were planning to live together. Lucy would get over it ... she would! She was a sensible woman. She took things in her stride, always had.

a.s.suring himself that Lucy would cope, he thought of the wonderful times he'd enjoyed with Paula. He and Paula belonged together, and to h.e.l.l with anyone who didn't like the idea!

He couldn't wait to start a new life with his sister-in-law. But before that could happen, there was much to be done. He thought of his children, Anne and Sam. They too, would be hurt, he knew, but as far as he was concerned there was no alternative.

Taking a deep breath, he blew it back out in a long sigh. His decision was made. Sorry, Lucy, love, but life is too short for regrets. I can't live with someone I don't love ... not any more.

Before he announced his decision, though, he had to be absolutely certain that Paula really meant what she said. They must have another serious conversation.

After he'd spoken with Paula, he would know which way to go.

Settled on his plan of action, Martin scrambled out of the van, grabbed his tools and headed off to work with a determined stride. He had so much to think about, his head was spinning. His troubled thoughts kept coming back to Lucy, that gentle, good woman who had given him two much-loved children. She was one of Nature's mothers: always there when needed.

The truth was that just to be with Paula fired Martin with excitement, while Lucy was just there; like a shadow in the corner, like an ornament you might bring out and polish now and then. She had little to say and even fewer opinions to share. There was no spirit, no naughtiness, or humour of any kind. She was just Lucy, content in her own little world. Happiest when she had family about her.

But though she brought no excitement to his life, she was the mother of his children, and grandmother of his daughter's child.

Other than that, Lucy was simply a sad relic of his wasted youth.

And yet, for all that, he was loath to hurt her.