"I don't b.l.o.o.d.y know. I had to get away before she started chatting about your special sessions together."

"We don't have special sessions!"

"Whatever." He pulls a chair up next to me. "You're gonna have to tell her."

"I can't! How p.i.s.sed off do you think she'll be?"

"Very. But not as p.i.s.sed off as I'll be if this gets complicated. I should never have agreed." He pauses. "Wait, I didn't, did I? You just b.l.o.o.d.y did it!"

"I pa.s.sed my last a.s.signment."

"Go, you."

"No, listen. She's helping, a lot."

Nate grunts and swigs from his bottle. "Sort this. I've had enough."

I haven't. I'm lying to myself this is about study. Honestly, I don't think I'll pa.s.s even with Fleur and the group's help, and I have my hopes pinned on the alb.u.m release's success. This is about Fleur.

I may be delusional, but the more time I spend with the chick, the more she warms to me. Something weird joins us in the room when we're alone; a relaxed calm some days and others a different energy in the air.

In our one on one study sessions, I once caught Fleur watching me. I met her parted-lipped gaze and her cheeks turned pink as she switched focus to the laptop. The idea Fleur's attraction matches mine interrupted my heartbeat for a moment, and then I remembered my screw up.

I look back to Fleur, but she's disappeared into the crowd.

How do I sort this without hurting her?

9.

WILL.

I hang back after the study session, following a weekend of deliberating what to do. The incident at the Union was a wake-up call to two things: one, Fleur is never going to be interested in me; and two, any semblance of friendship will be f.u.c.ked up when she finds out who I really am. From experience, people who discover me and Nate have tricked them over our ident.i.ties aren't happy. Those who find out from other sources are, without exception, p.i.s.sed off. Nate's not happy for me to continue, I understand that, but I don't want to lose Fleur's friendship. Haha.

Ruby Riot has the first of our rehearsal sessions at the weekend, the alb.u.m due for release at the end of the month. That means less time on campus and a perfect opportunity to admit the deceit and let things blow over. Nita's always ready with a smile, perhaps I can persuade her to help me out when Fleur inevitably tells me to f.u.c.k off.

Fleur's happier today than the last few times, a relaxed aura around tempering the tension she normally carries. Knowing chicks, I can guess why. Mr. Perfect has surrounded her in Disney bluebirds and b.u.t.terflies. The green monster takes a bite at my heart, then points out that I can't have any girl I want the way I thought I could. For a few moments, Fleur doesn't notice me as she texts on her phone, wearing a soppy smile.

Retch.

I bet they're kisses and hugs, I can't imagine Fleur s.e.xting.

"Did you want something?" Fleur asks when she finally notices me.

"Wanted to talk to you," I mumble.

"Now? I have to be somewhere in ten."

"It won't take long."

Fleur sits back on a chair, setting her phone in front of her. "You're not what I expected."

"No?" I perch on the edge of the table.

"Less arrogant. Apart from the other night. What was that? Too cool to be seen talking to me?"

I frown. She's not annoyed, but amused. "I was drunk."

"Hmm. At least your brother wasn't around. Does he always behave like that at parties? To girls, I mean."

I stare into her blue eyes, at her friendly smile, and bottle out of telling her. Next time. One more a.s.signment.

"We're both w.a.n.kers sometimes."

Fleur laughs and a warm feeling fills my chest. I made her laugh and smile. She's a serious chick, not a full-on nerd but always focused on work above everything else. Maybe Eager Ethan helps her relax.

The monster takes another bite.

"I guess you're allowed to be," she replies.

"You think?"

"I've seen how people react to you not just girls but the industry. You have talent, not surprised your heads are swelling."

"Do you like the band?"

"Me? I liked that song you did, the one everybody knows."

"'My Kinda Disaster'?"

"I think so, but I don't pay much attention to Ruby Riot, sorry."

It's my turn to laugh. "People like you help with the not-being-a-w.a.n.ker thing. You treat me like an ordinary person."

"You are an ordinary person, Nate."

"Sheesh, thanks."

"Tell you what, when Ruby Riot win an award and hit the top of the charts, ask me again. Then I might admit you're special."

I'm on the verge of asking Fleur to our next gig, but swallow down the words. How can I? Nate will be there.

"Sorry about being rude at the weekend," I say.

"Doesn't matter, you weren't really, just being rock star Nate." She pauses. "At least you're not your brother. Does he do that a lot to girls who say no?"

I'm a f.u.c.king idiot. How did I get here? Why didn't I take a chance on telling her that first afternoon and prove I wasn't the same guy when I was sober?

"Uh. No. I think he genuinely likes you."

Fleur bites the corner of her mouth and shakes her head. "Don't try and stick up for him. I think he saw me as a challenge."

"No, he isn't like that."

"Sure, he isn't. I've seen the pair of you covered in girls."

"Ah, well, that's because the girls can't help themselves." Fleur makes a soft sound of derision. "Anyway, Jax doesn't anymore; he found a girl. Maybe I should do the same."

"I doubt that's a good idea."

"Why?"

"Twenty-one-year-old guy on the cusp of stardom? She'd have to be something special."

"Yeah, like I said, Jax has done it."

Fleur doesn't respond, but I can see the doubt on her face. "If I was one of those girls, I would steer clear. Guys like you will leave a trail of shattered hearts across the globe soon."

I laugh. "Any guy can break your heart; he doesn't have to be a rock star."

"You are correct, but I'm lowering my odds and keeping away from them."

"Of course, because you're with a guy anyway."

"Early days. Why are you asking? Going to tell Will?" Her tone is teasing. "I bet he'll be devastated when he hears!"

"He knows he'd never stand a chance with you."

"This a twin intuition thing?"

"Nah, I mean you're Miss Sensible and studious. Can't see you with a tattooed slacker."

"Then I guess you understand me better than I thought." She pushes her hair behind an ear. "I doubt he'd be happy if he knew you were saying this stuff to me."

I grin and swing my legs from the desk. "True. He'd kick my a.s.s if he knew I was spilling his secret crush." I'm him. Tell her I'm Will. You're a b.l.o.o.d.y coward.

"Crush?" Her brow creases. "That's a bit far. Are you teasing me?"

"No!"

Fleur checks her phone. "I have to go. You distracted me. What did you want to talk about?"

I grasp at a response. "Oh. I can't make it next week. Have some band promo to do."

"So you'll hand your a.s.signment in early? It's due Friday."

"Ah. c.r.a.p. Yeah."

"Cut out the partying for once, finish the paper."

I c.o.c.k a brow. "No can do, I have my chicks to entertain."

She stands. "You're a smart guy underneath all that front, Nate. If you want to pa.s.s, you can. You just have to decide where to put the effort in."

"Ruby Riot will always come first."

"And that's why you're in the position you are. I hope your dreams happen."

Fleur leaves the room and I stand for a few moments between my two worlds. Is it pathetic that I dream of her and it's never going to happen?

10.

FLEUR.

Celebrating pa.s.sing the toughest a.s.signment of the semester seemed like a great idea at the time. Swept in the euphoria of the study group minus Nate who hasn't been for two weeks we stuff our A and B grade papers into our bags and skip across campus. Literally, if you're Nita. Sam stomped along repeating how awesome I am, and I remind him it was a group effort. Though secretly, I know my influence and expertise helped them push their marks that little bit higher.

Now, after several Red Bulls and vodka, the celebration has led to a degree of room spinning in the pub. I stare at the beer mat on the table, hoping if I focus on it the spinning will stop. Nita chatters excitedly to Steph, and I half-hear Sam talking about Ruby Riot above the thumping ba.s.s music.

"How do you think Nate did?" he asks.

I pick my gla.s.s up to drink and am surprised to see it's empty again. "No idea. Doesn't matter to him, I s'pose."

"Why did he stop coming to group?"

"No idea. Busy being famous." I hold out my empty gla.s.s. "Will you fetch me a drink?"

I turn my head to Sam who's difficult to focus on.

"Same again?"

"No. c.o.ke."

He grins. "Thought you'd knocked a few too many back."