"Yeah."

Her attempt to diffuse the situation is admirable, but Nate's short answers and dark expression will take more than small talk to change.

"How's Bryn?" I ask Tegan.

"What does that mean?" Jax frowns.

"Nothing. Just asking after him. Jeez."

"Jax is tetchy about my brother. Still."

"He's still weird with me."

"He isn't!"

"Yeah? He cornered me and threw twenty questions about Courtney f.u.c.king Adams. After two years and he still believes what the press say?"

Tegan squeezes his hand. "This is Bryn you're talking about, Jax. He wrote the book on overprotective brothers." Tegan lifts her head high and sips from her wine gla.s.s. "Well, I invited Courtney tonight, to stick my middle finger up at her and the press."

"What the h.e.l.l? Don't tell me she's here," asks Jax and scans the guests. "The lies that b.i.t.c.h told about me and her! Why, Tegan?"

"I just said why."

"I can't believe you did that." Jax's voice rises.

"I did. And if nothing happened with her, what's the big deal?" Tegan and Jax stand head to head, and I've known Tegan long enough to know when her sobriety's lacking and how her mouth tends to run away with her.

"Don't you b.l.o.o.d.y start too," says Jax "I believe you. Why wouldn't I? Jesus, Jax."

Nate's grip on my hand tightens. "f.u.c.k this s.h.i.t," he mumbles. "I need another beer."

We both back off and I retreat to the black leather sofa in the corner, happy to sit on rather than hide behind now Nate's with me. We're partially hidden by a loud group and I absent-mindedly pinpoint which TV show I know them from. A soap, I think. Or reality TV. Difficult to tell the difference these days.

Nate disappears to the kitchen and reappears a couple of minutes later with a beer. Will pa.s.ses with Fleur and Nate flops down next to me.

My wine spills at the movement and Nate wipes it from the top of my dress, fingers lingering a moment. "I had words with my d.i.c.khead brother. You okay?"

"Yes. Do Jax and Tegan still fight all the time?" I ask and place my gla.s.s on the floor.

"Not always. Often."

"Jax doesn't... you know. Do things. With girls."

Nate laughs and swigs from his bottle. "I think he'd like to keep hold of his genitalia; Tegan would rip them off. Nah, he loves Tegan, but I think they're too intense. Too young for marriage, that's for sure."

"They're perfect together though. What's too young when you think you've found someone you want to spend your life with?"

Nate shifts. "They are. Besides, that soulmate stuff is bulls.h.i.t. n.o.body stays the same at their age; life changes you."

"Right."

"Do you believe in c.r.a.p like soul mates?" he asks in surprise. "I don't. Load of horses.h.i.t."

"Jury's out," I say with a small smile. "Not in my experience but everybody is different. Maybe if you find 'the one'" - I make air commas - "you're willing to grow together. Compromise."

Like if one of you has a son she hasn't told you about.

"So a selfish b.a.s.t.a.r.d like me has no chance?" He drinks and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand.

"You're funny. You're not as selfish as you think you are, Nate."

"Yeah?"

I kiss his nose. "Yeah."

Nate gives a small shake of his head and returns my kiss. "But are you okay now?"

"Fine. I wasn't expecting that kind of introduction."

"Will's a jerk when he's drunk." He pauses. "We both are."

"I know." I point at his bottle. "Please don't have too many."

Nate points at my gla.s.s. "You too."

Too late. "Deal. I'll stop now."

"No way! I've only had two."

"Do what you want, Nate. Stay sober enough for later, please."

Nate twists his body, hiding me from view as he trails fingers from my cheek to my neck. "Too d.a.m.n right."

I open my mouth to say I meant the talk we need to have, but the temptation called Nate Campbell wipes away the words. I hold the back of his head and kiss him, not giving a c.r.a.p what people say. If Will shouts about us again, he's liable to receive a smack from one or both of us.

I move away and rest my head against Nate's chest and Nate strokes my bare arm. I'm content for the first time in months.

Our tentative relationship announced, statement made, as we appear in public together, but I didn't expect tactile Nate too. And with our last step away from Riley versus Nate, comes the need to leave behind Riley versus Riley.

28.

RILEY.

I'm reluctant to leave Nate and his surprising intimacy but excuse myself for the bathrooms. The room took on an unfortunate spinning effect a few minutes ago, and closing, then opening my eyes hasn't solved the problem. I stumble towards the cloakroom but the door is locked. There'll be another upstairs but standing and moving has made things worse.

Wine burns my throat, and I fight the urge to vomit.

Kitchen. Door. Outside. Please don't be locked.

Pushing through the door, I move as far from the house as I can, into the lawned garden, before retching. The evening cools the perspiration on my forehead as I bend over, holding my hair from my face and vomit again.

I shiver against the icy breeze, cursing my stupidity. I didn't eat this evening; too busy choosing an outfit for a celebrity party, a dress now splashed with vomited wine. My throat is raw, eyes stinging, and I gulp in breaths. Ugh, Riley, you mess. I chomp my lip to stop the tears. This evening has been a mistake from start to finish. Humiliation by Will, the waiting confession dragging me down, and now this.

"Riley?"

At Nate's voice, I pull myself to my feet and bend over, sliding my hands along my knees. "Yes."

"Have you been sick? How drunk are you?"

I stagger toward Nate, scrubbing my eyes with my shirtsleeve. "I think I had too much to drink."

Nate holds my shoulders and looks into my eyes. "Are you crying? Did my d.i.c.khead brother upset you that much?"

"No. I drank too much because I was nervous, that's all. Didn't eat much today."

"Not like you to be nervous."

"I was. Can we go?"

He rubs his head. "Go? We haven't been at the party long. I wanted to catch up with the guys."

I shiver. "Fine. But I can't stay, I feel really sick, Nate."

"Yeah, true. I can call you a cab if you like?"

I rub my head. Why did I expect him to do the gentlemanly thing and help me home? I cross my arms so Nate can't touch me and walk back into the kitchen. Nate pulls a chair out. "Sit down."

What if I'm sick again and clients see me? "Can I wait out the front?"

"Out the front?" repeats Nate. "Are you insane? It's b.l.o.o.d.y freezing."

"I don't want to throw up on one of Tegan's expensive new rugs."

"Funny, Riley. Sit."

Too tired to argue, I sink into a chair and hold my head in my hands.

Nate calls a taxi and I keep my head down, fixing my eyes on Nate's boots as he sits next to me, a hand on my leg.

"Are you sure you don't mind me staying at the party?" Nate asks.

"It's fine."

"Okay. Good."

Disappointment twists a knot in my aching stomach as I hear Nate help himself to a new beer. For once, I wanted somebody to care for and look after me. Illogical. I'm wasting my time if I expect somebody like Nate to worry. Anyway, how could I ask Nate to take me home without asking him inside? My house is Josh's too, and filled with signs Josh lives there, that isn't how I want Nate to find out.

I abandon holding myself together and slump forward, head on the table. Since when did my sensible decision-making skills abandon me?

NATE.

I help myself to a handful of crackers and ignore the fancy dips on the dining table. Shoving them in my mouth, I wander back into the party to find the guys. Will isn't around but Jax and Tegan are talking quietly to each other near the window. I hesitate before I go over.

"Where's Will?" I ask.

"Where's Riley?" asks Tegan.

"She went home."

Tegan's brow furrows. "Why? Because of Will?"

"She puked. Wasn't feeling good so I put her in a cab."

"Nate!" Tegan's mouth falls open and I swear she's about to slap me.

"What?"

"Why didn't you go with her?"

"Uh. Riley said she didn't care if I stayed."

"Seriously? You put your sick girlfriend in a taxi to go home alone?"

"I said Riley was okay about it." But with the words come doubts.

"You're still an insensitive jerk, then?" she snaps. "Maybe she didn't want to sound needy. This is Riley we're talking about. Any half-decent guy would've made sure she got home okay."

f.u.c.k. "Yeah, I'm a selfish b.a.s.t.a.r.d. Nothing changes."

Tegan's voice rises. "You had better not hook up with another girl because Riley went home."

"What the f.u.c.k?"

"Why else would you stay?"

"To be with my mates, Tegan. You're out of line telling me what to do."

Jax places a hand on Tegan's arm. "I don't think Riley's the only one who drank too much."