Days later the disgraced d.u.c.h.ess announced she was going on The Oprah Winfrey Show The Oprah Winfrey Show to explain what had happened. For one long hour she braided herself into knots with a yarn about why she had accepted bribes and sold access to her former husband. She said she grabbed the first bag of money ($40,000) "for a friend of a friend," who was in financial trouble. Then, seeing how easy that take was, she upped her ante and demanded $750,000 for full and complete access to Prince Andrew. to explain what had happened. For one long hour she braided herself into knots with a yarn about why she had accepted bribes and sold access to her former husband. She said she grabbed the first bag of money ($40,000) "for a friend of a friend," who was in financial trouble. Then, seeing how easy that take was, she upped her ante and demanded $750,000 for full and complete access to Prince Andrew.

Watching the video of herself falling for the sting, she said, "Oh, I feel so sorry for her... Bless her... Oh, she's completely drunk." She talked about herself in the third person as if to draw a distinction between the greedy woman on camera and the humiliated person sitting in front of Oprah. Tripping over her rationale, the d.u.c.h.ess got tangled in her convoluted skein about accepting money for "a friend of a friend," and Oprah, to her credit, said her explanation made no sense.

Oprah, whose net worth is $2.4 billion, could not fathom why the d.u.c.h.ess hadn't simply asked the Queen for the $40,000 she claimed she needed "for a friend of a friend." Obviously, Oprah's producers had not told her that the door of Buckingham Palace had clanged shut on Sarah Ferguson in August 1992, when photographs of her romping topless on the Cote d'Azur splashed across the tabloids. She was having her toes sucked by her lover John Bryan, who she said was "just a friend." He protested he was not sucking her toes: "I was kissing the arch of her foot."

After that Sarah got the royal boot and a not-so-royal divorce settlement from the Queen's favorite son. When Oprah asked if it was true that she had gotten only $20,000 a year in alimony, Sarah should have answered: "No, it's not true." Instead, she shimmied. "I wanted friendship with the boss," she said, leaving the impression that she had given up great gobs of money to remain in the good graces of Her Majesty.

In fact, Sarah had demanded a lump-sum payment of $10 million, plus $5,000 a month in child support, and her t.i.tle. She received $750,000 for herself, and a $2.1 million trust fund for her children, and she was stripped of her t.i.tle, which meant she lost all of her royal perquisites: the royal curtsy, the royal guards, the royal train, the royal yacht, the royal trips, the royal invitations. She also lost her standing in British society.

So the plucky d.u.c.h.ess came to America and turned herself into a money-making machine. Over the next decade she made (and spent) in excess of $30 million. She hawked herself to the highest bidder, selling exclusive photo shoots for $25,000, exclusive interviews for $50,000 to $200,000. She signed children's book contracts, including rights for a television series and merchandising opportunities, for $8 million. She signed licensing contracts with thirteen U.S. firms to market souvenirs. She also signed a $3 million contract to write her life story, which she promoted on The Oprah Winfrey Show The Oprah Winfrey Show. Then she signed a $10 million contract with Weight Watchers and traveled the world (all first-cla.s.s expenses paid) as its spokesperson.

Sarah Ferguson made millions but spent even more, until she found herself, in the words of Oprah Winfrey, "spiraling downwards," and again in the words of Oprah, "spiritually and morally bankrupt."

Like a priest hearing confession, Oprah was prepared to absolve Sarah. "None of us are defined by our mistakes," said the revered talk-show host, "but once you get the lesson, you don't repeat it again." Sarah nodded, but Oprah indicated she didn't get it.

"So what is the lesson?" she asked her befuddled guest. Sarah stammered a little, her eyes glistening with tears.

"I guess chronic abuse of myself... dealing with it from a place of egotistical fear."

Viewers watched the d.u.c.h.ess the same way they watched the video, hoping, praying, screaming for someone to cap the swill. Within the U.K., Republic renewed its pledge to rid the country of royalty while monarchists sat back, confident that the House of Windsor would once again rise out of its muck to make magic.

UPI-Corbis/BettmannWindsor Castle is the best-known symbol of the British monarchy. William the Conqueror chose the site for a fortress after his conquest of England in 1066. In 1917, when King George V needed to camouflage his German origins, he chose Windsor as the royal family's dynastic name.

UPI-Corbis/BettmannQueen Victoria (far right) in 1893. After the death of her husband, Prince Albert, in 1861, she went into mourning and wore black clothes the rest of her life. Here she is pictured with her grandson the Duke of York, later to become King George V, and his wife, the d.u.c.h.ess of York, who became Queen Mary.

UPI-Corbis/BettmannPrince Edward, who became King Edward VIII and later the Duke of Windsor, in 1909 with Czar Nicholas II, the last emperor of Russia, his son, and Prince George, who became King George V. As monarch, he did not dispatch the British navy to rescue his cousins during the Russian Revolution. The imperial family was executed by the Bolsheviks at Ekaterinburg in 1918.

Archive PhotosQueen Mary sits with three of her five sons: Prince Albert, who became King George VI; Prince Edward (Duke of Windsor), who became King Edward VIII; Prince George (Duke of Kent), who died during World War II. Absent are Prince Henry, later Duke of Gloucester, and Prince John, who died in 1919 at the age of fourteen.

Archive PhotosBritain's German royal family reinvented as the House of Windsor. At left, Princess Mary, the only daughter of King George V and Queen Mary, surrounded by four of her five brothers.

Archive PhotosThe first published photograph of HRH Princess Elizabeth, age two, in May 1928 with her governess, Nanny Knight. They are standing in front of No. 145 Piccadilly, then the home of the Duke and d.u.c.h.ess of York, who became King George VI and Queen Elizabeth.

author's collection (a.c.)"Britons hated that American woman," said the King's equerry Edward Dudley Metcalfe, recalling placards at the time of the abdication.

Archive Photos"I intend to marry Mrs. Simpson as soon as she is free to marry," King Edward VIII told the Prime Minister. "If I could marry her as King, well and good.... But if not... then I am prepared to go." He gave up the throne in 1936, and after her second divorce, he married forty-year-old Wallis Warfield Simpson on June 3, 1937, in France.

Archive Photos"Our family, us four," is how the new King, George VI, described himself, his wife, Queen Elizabeth, and his two daughters, Princesses Margaret and Elizabeth.

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Archive Photos/Express NewspaperThe Duke and d.u.c.h.ess of Windsor appear delighted to meet Hitler in 1937.

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Archive Photos/Express NewspaperThe King and Queen, accompanied by Prime Minister Winston Churchill, inspect bomb damage at Buckingham Palace during World War II.

AP/Wide WorldQueen Elizabeth and Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt riding in the presidential limousine during a parade welcoming Their Majesties to Washington, D.C. The King and Queen visited the White House to appeal for U.S. intervention into World War II.

Archive Photos/Express NewspaperPrincess Elizabeth became engaged to Lieutenant Philip Mountbatten on July 9, 1947, against the initial objections of her parents. Philip had renounced his Greek royal t.i.tle and adopted his maternal grandfather's German surname.

Archive Photos/Express NewspaperOn November 20, 1947, Princess Elizabeth married Prince Philip at Westminster Abbey. "I don't know whether I'm being very brave," the bridegroom told a relative, "or very foolish."

Archive Photos/Express Newspaper"IT'S A BOY," read the sign tacked to the gates of Buckingham Palace on November 4, 1948, to announce the birth of Prince Charles Philip Arthur George. The King and Queen, pictured with Princess Elizabeth and the Duke of Edinburgh after the christening of their first child.

Archive Photos/Express NewspaperAfter a three-month royal tour, Princess Elizabeth returns to London with her husband. She greets her young son, Charles, with a pat on the shoulder as Philip hugs her mother.

AP/Wide WorldThe grieving women of Windsor at the funeral of King George VI on February 6, 1952. The King's daughter, Elizabeth; his eighty-five-year-old mother, Mary, who died thirteen months later. The King's widow, Elizabeth, later styled herself as Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother.

Archive PhotosSurrounded by her family, Elizabeth II waves to her subjects from the balcony of Buckingham Palace after her coronation on June 2, 1953. After fourteen years of austerity from war, reconstruction, and rations, Britain spent $300 million during coronation week. The Queen's gown cost her government $1 million.

UPI-Corbis/BettmannThe new Queen meets her favorite Prime Minister, Winston Churchill. "He was always such fun," she said. Churchill admitted he had fallen "a little in love" with his monarch, whose portrait he hung above his bed.

Harry S. Truman LibraryPrincess Elizabeth with her favorite U.S. President, Harry Truman, during her first visit to Washington, D.C., in 1951.

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Archive PhotosPrincess Margaret rebounds from Peter Townsend with Antony Armstrong-Jones, the commoner who became the Earl of Snowdon. They married on May 6, 1960, and produced two children, David and Sarah.

Globe PhotosRoddy Llewellyn met Princess Margaret in 1973 when she was forty-three and he was twenty-three. Their public love affair caused the Queen to denounce her sister for having "the lifestyle of a guttersnipe."

Archive Photos/Express NewspaperHRH the Princess Margaret becomes the first member of the British royal family to divorce. She was not immune to the scandal she caused. She suffered a nervous breakdown and was hospitalized with gastroenteritis and alcoholic hepat.i.tis. She also threatened suicide.

a.c.Rumors about the Queen's splintered marriage first surfaced in February 1957 in U.S. newspapers. The Queen's press secretary denounced the stories: "It is quite untrue that there is a rift between the Queen and the Duke of Edinburgh.... It is a lie." Yet, the royal couple, who had been apart for four months, staged a very public reunion for photographers.

Archive PhotosFrom the Queen's personal sc.r.a.pbook: Her Majesty in bed with her children, Anne (age thirteen), Charles (age fifteen), and Andrew (age four, after the birth of her last child, Edward, in 1964. This photo appeared only once in England. After it was published in the Daily Express Daily Express, the Palace announced: "Since the photographs are of such a personal kind, the Queen would naturally prefer that they not be published. For that reason, we are unable to approve their future publication."

Archive Photos/Express NewspaperA forlorn Prince Charles, thirteen, dogged by photographers. "Loneliness is something royal children have always suffered and always will," said Lord Mountbatten. "Not much you can do about it, really."

Archive PhotosThe prettiest picture ever taken of Queen Elizabeth II: no corgis, no purses, no scowls.

John F. Kennedy LibraryAmerican royalty meets British royalty in 1961 when Her Majesty and the Duke of Edinburgh greet President John F. Kennedy and his First Lady, Jacqueline, at Buckingham Palace.

UPI-Corbis/BettmannPrincess Alexandra, a married cousin of the Queen's, is a close friend of Prince Philip's.

UPI-Corbis/BettmannThe late film star Merle Oberon, another close friend, was Philip's favorite Hollywood hostess.

a.c.Helene Cordet, also a close friend, was the first woman publicly rumored to be a mistress of Philip's.

Archive PhotosThe blond, blue-eyed prince who married Elizabeth and became the Duke of Edinburgh dazzled women.

a.c.An extract from one of several letters the author received during the research of this book, offering to sell purported love letters written by Philip to other women on Balmoral, Sandringham, or Britannia Britannia stationery. stationery.

Archive Photos/Camera PressThe royal family at Windsor in October 1972, celebrating the Queen's silver anniversary. Back row, standing left to right: The Earl of Snowdon; the Duke of Kent; Prince Michael of Kent; the Duke of Edinburgh; the Earl of St. Andrews (elder son of the Duke of Kent); Prince Charles, the Prince of Wales; Prince Andrew; the Honorable Angus Ogilvy and his son, James Ogilvy. Seated on chairs, left to right: Princess Margaret, Countess of Snowdon; the d.u.c.h.ess of Kent (holding Lord Nicholas Windsor, her younger son); Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother; Queen Elizabeth II; Princess Anne; Marina Ogilvy and her mother, Princess Alexandra. Seated on floor, left to right: Lady Sarah Armstrong-Jones, Viscount Linley (children of Princess Margaret); Prince Edward; Lady Helen Windsor (daughter of the Duke of Kent). Photograph by Patrick Lichfield.

Archive Photos/Express NewspaperThe royal family's love of blood sports: The Queen (center, holding her camera) and her shooting party at Sawai Madhopur, with the eight-foot-nine-inch tiger shot by Prince Philip (far left), who is president of the World Wildlife Fund.

Archive Photos/Express NewspaperBehind her back, the Queen Mother was called "Cookie" by the Duke and d.u.c.h.ess of Windsor because of her fondness for sweets. She, in turn, referred to the d.u.c.h.ess of Windsor as "that woman" and prevented her from having the status of Her Royal Highness. Their feud lasted a lifetime.

UPI-Corbis/BettmannThe d.u.c.h.ess of Windsor looking out the window of Buckingham Palace after her husband's funeral in 1972.

Archive Photos/Express NewspaperCharles and Lord Mountbatten, or "Uncle d.i.c.kie," as he was called by the royal family. He advised the young Prince to become "a moving target for women." He wrote: "I believe in a case like yours, the man should sow his wild oats and have as many affairs as he can before settling down...."

Archive Photos/Express NewspaperCharles fell in love with Camilla Shand, but she married Andrew Parker Bowles.

Archive Photos/Express NewspaperCharles with the Earl Spencer's twenty-two-year-old daughter Sarah, in 1977, at Cowdray, Suss.e.x, where he was playing polo.

Snowdon/Globe PhotosCharles followed Mountbatten's advice to "choose a suitable, attractive, and sweet-charactered girl before before she [meets] anyone else she might fall for." He became engaged to Lady Diana Spencer in 1981. Photograph by Snowdon. she [meets] anyone else she might fall for." He became engaged to Lady Diana Spencer in 1981. Photograph by Snowdon.