No . . . you're the dirty, rotten liar, woman.

She held her hands over her ears to shut out the sound.

"Bethany. Bethany. Beth-a-ny!"

Josh called to her.

She wiped the water from her face. He must not see that she had been crying again. At this point, he had reason enough to question her sanity. The pills. The emotional tirades. And now, a total breakdown in the shower.

20.

Present Day I can't eat this." Beth pushed her plate of stir-fried vegetables away.

"What's wrong?" Alex gave her a sideways glance before opening the refrigerator door and reaching for a bottle of spring water. "You need to drink more water too. You didn't finish your second liter yesterday."

"I go to the bathroom enough the way it is. I'm sick of it!" Beth protested.

"You're not in a good mood today, are you?" Alex plopped the bottle of water on the table and took a seat on the bench opposite Beth.

"My mood is fine, you're the one with the prob-" Beth stopped midsentence, remembering her manners and how much Alex had done for her. "I'm sorry. I am in a bad mood. If my head doesn't hurt, I have no energy. Or I'm dizzy. It's one thing after another. I'm tired of being on this medication."

"Let's do something to take your mind off the bad stuff. I saw a neat project idea in one of those parenting magazines when I was waiting for you at the doctor's office the other day."

"What kind of silly project?"

"You document your weekly baby progress through photos. You can send them to Josh and use them for your baby book."

Beth stared at her caregiver. Well-meaning or not, she could sometimes be irritating. "No, thanks. Remember those nude photos of Demi Moore on the cover of Vanity Fair? I don't want to go there."

"No, silly. Not nude. You would wear your workout leotard."

"You're truly unrelenting," Beth said, trying to work up a speck of excitement about the idea. "Tell you what, I'll make a deal with you. If I do it, I can have a glass of chocolate milk and Doritos for lunch instead of this health food."

"You drive a hard bargain. But chocolate milk does have calcium." Alex threw her hands in the air in mock indignation. "So much for my nutritional counseling."

After lunch, Alex began setting up photo equipment in the freshly painted nursery, and Beth retreated to the bedroom to find a black leotard. It took a few extra tugs, but she managed to make one fit.

Glancing at her profile in the mirror as she left the room prompted a heavy sigh. She had already started to gain weight. But she could see a small baby bump. A shiver of excitement ran down her spine. This baby was real.

Thank you, Lord.

"Your black outfit will contrast perfectly with these pastel walls," Alex told Beth when she walked into the nursery. "Stand over here, next to the window, so I can get natural lighting on your face." Alex nudged Beth by the shoulders and placed her where she wanted her.

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For being such a good friend," Beth said, giving Alex a spontaneous hug. "I know this isn't easy for you, giving up eight months of your life."

"You're paying me. . . ."

"Not what you deserve. You're neglecting your artwork so you can stay with me."

"Bethany, these eight months will go quickly for you, for me, and for the baby. I'm excited to be enjoying it with you." She smiled mischievously. "Besides, this is going to be a real artsy shot. I may have to ask permission to put it in my portfolio."

The roads were clear on the way to Detroit. The Triumphant Tour concluded tonight at the Joe Louis Arena. More than twenty thousand fans would be packed into the venue to listen to five hours of praise and worship songs from five separate acts, the two headliners and three opening acts, which included Josh. It would be a spectacular ending to the seven-month tour, which had grossed more than fifty million dollars in ticket sales alone. That figure didn't count merchandise sales, a sizable amount on its own. The average artist sold at least ten dollars a head each night.

Josh's portion was miniscule compared to the star bands. But he couldn't complain. He was earning a decent living. Entertainers usually made more money selling merchandise than they received in record sales or even performance fees. Unfortunately, his merchandise income had been down for the last two months. And he needed every penny to make up for the loss of Beth's salary.

She had taken a leave of absence from Bradford Associates, but Josh hoped it would be permanent. Although they missed her income, he saw it as a good exercise in streamlining their lifestyle. After the medical bills were paid, and they didn't have the extra expense of Alex's salary, they should be able to afford for Beth to stay at home with the baby-at least for a while.

They wouldn't be able to fix up the house like they had originally planned. But they already had the basics, except for nursery furniture. Beth had promised to shop at outlet stores and garage sales for furniture while he was away. He had managed to get the room painted during his Thanksgiving break.

He would be on the road now almost straight through Christmas. God had blessed him with an opening slot on another tour, which would provide an additional twenty days of income this year. He had almost turned it down six months ago, thinking he would enjoy having that time to relax. He made the decision to accept it for the sake of his employees. His band and crew were paid a day rate rather than a salary, so being off for a month at the end of the year would make it hard on them and their families. As it turned out, it had been a blessing for him too.

The familiar ping of a message-waiting alert urged Josh to check his inbox. It was an e-mail from Beth. He skimmed the four or five sentences to make sure she was okay, and then he reread each word. Just knowing her day was going well brightened his.

She'd had some bad days this week, based on the e-mails he had received from Alex. If only he could be there to help more. Rolling satellite made life on the road more tolerable, but it also reminded him of what he was missing.

A while back, Alex had helped Beth upload the baby's sonogram video. He had been able to count ten fingers and ten toes and even look into his baby's eyes. Life was good, especially when things were going well at home.

Another message from Beth appeared in his inbox. This one had an unidentified attachment. Josh clicked the file, and a photo popped onto the screen. It was Beth standing in profile, holding her hand on her stomach. Her smile was radiant. He picked up the phone to call her.

"Hi, honey!" she said. "Where are you?"

"On our way to Detroit. It's the last day of the tour. The Christmas shows start tomorrow."

"Oh, right. I remember now."

"Thanks for the photo. When do I get another one of those sexy poses?"

"Don't make fun of me."

"I wasn't making fun, honest. You're the hottest pregnant mama I know."

"I hope you don't know any other hot pregnant mamas."

"Nope. You're the only one." He smiled into the phone. "So what are you doing for the rest of the day?"

"We might drive around to a few consignment shops and look for baby furniture. If not today, we'll go Monday after my doctor's appointment."

"Good. Do those shops deliver? Remember, I won't be home until almost Christmas."

"I'm sure they do. If not, I'll put it on layaway for you to pick up when you get home."

"Have fun. And watch the budget."

"I wish you were here to help me."

"I wish I was too. But the next three weeks will pass before you know it. I'll talk to you tomorrow, okay?"

"I love you."

"Love you too."

On Monday, after stopping by the hospital for a routine scan ordered by Dr. Abrams, Beth and Alex scoured three consignment shops in the Green Hills area.

Beth flopped down into the passenger seat of Alex's car. "I'm disappointed," she said. "I'm not sure I know what I want, but I know I didn't see it today."

"There's plenty of time." Alex assured her and turned the car in the direction of home. "You'll find the perfect thing if you just keep looking. Maybe we should hit the garage sales again on Saturday. It would be a good excuse to get out and walk."

"I suppose." Beth's energy had all but faded away. "Hey, look! There's Maison de Reve Furniture. Let's check it out."

"I don't think so. That's a designer store," Alex frowned. "It's not wise to shop over your budget."

"Why not? We'll get some good ideas, and then we can improvise inexpensively from yard-sale finds. You're the best at that kind of thing. Come on. Turn in here." Beth tugged at Alex's sleeve.

"Okay," Alex said, making a quick right into the parking lot. "But I don't like this idea. It's too easy to . . ."

Beth bolted out of the car almost before it stopped, her energy renewed.

"It's amazing how shopping can pep up a girl." Alex caught up with Beth in front of the massive glass entrance of the high-end showroom.

Beth took a deep breath and stepped inside. "This place smells like money."

"Burning money," Alex grimaced.

"Don't be so negative." Beth spotted a drop-dead good-looking salesman walking their way. "This should be fun."

"How may I help you beautiful ladies today?" The young man flashed his gorgeous green eyes.

"We're just looking." Alex grabbed Beth by the arm and dragged her toward the opposite direction.

Not easily deterred, Green Eyes followed them like a new puppy.

"Great. What's your main interest?"

"Nursery furniture." Beth pulled away from Alex.

"My name is Lane." The salesman stuck out a manicured hand. "What's yours?"

"Bethany. And this is Alex."

"Bethany, we have the highest-quality infant furniture in Nashville. Let's walk this way." He stepped aside to allow the girls to pass. "Straight ahead. I'll follow you."

"Do you believe this stuff?" Beth whispered to Alex as they strolled past vignettes of designer living rooms, dining rooms, and bedrooms. "Look at that chair. I love cabbage rose print."

"Me too." Alex said, finally starting to get into the spirit of the shopping trip.

"That would look great in the baby's room." Beth pointed to a chaise lounge in one of the front window displays.

"Remember why we're here." Alex gave her a gentle push.

"Look at that . . . oh, my." Beth raced toward the next vignette. "This is exactly what I was hoping to find." She caressed the top of the baby changing table and dresser combination. "I love this color."

"It's called Cherry Mocha," the salesman said. "And, of course, it's 100 percent lead free. Some lower-end lines don't maintain our standards of quality. We want parents to be confident in the safety of our products. We feel children are worth the difference in price."

"I hadn't thought about that," Beth said, nodding in agreement.

"Do you prefer the sleigh style bed or the classic?" he asked. He had a beautiful smile.

"Definitely the sleigh. It's perfect."

"It has a lot of personality, doesn't it? One of the best things about this model is that it grows with your baby." He directed her attention to the vignette across the aisle. "That is the same crib, once it has been converted to a full-size bed. Your son-or daughter-will be taking this set to college with him or her some day. No box springs are necessary."

"Wow. That's great."

"Yes. A real money saver overall. You pay more upfront, but less in the long run."

"This guy is good," Alex whispered into Beth's ear. "Of course, you need to tell him that you will have to look around."

"I don't know . . ." Beth hesitated. "I think I've found what I want." She spoke loud enough for the salesman to hear.

"Do you want the four- or six-drawer changing table?" he asked.

"Definitely the six."

"Good choice. Now . . . if you buy the collection rather than buying each of these pieces separately, we can give it to you for an exceptional price."

"Really?"

"Let's talk about it over a cup of coffee," he suggested. "Please, follow me to the conference table."

"Can you believe he gave me a dozen roses?" Beth stuck her nose into the bouquet of pale pink buds and settled comfortably into the passenger seat of Alex's car.

"He should have given you a rose garden considering the price you paid for that furniture." Alex glared at her.

"I don't think it was that bad," Beth argued. "I may have spent more upfront, but it will pay off as the baby grows. And it's 100 percent lead free."

"You sound like the salesman." Alex pursed her lips. "But Josh may not be so happy with you-or me-when he finds out."