The Real Diary of a Real Boy - Part 4
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Part 4

May 15. Went in swimming today. the water was pretty cold but i swum acros the river twise.

May 16. the suckers have come. Potter Gorham caught three yesterday. me and Potter was going yesterday after school but father woodent let me becaus i dident split my kindlings.

May 17. the band played tonight. father made me go to bed at nine but i cood hear it becaus my window is jest acros the road. they are playing a new peace. it is the woodup quickstep, they say Ned Kendall cood play it on a bugle better than ennybody. old Robinson cood and Mister Ashman can play it splendid. it goes

ta-ta tata, ta-ta tata, ta-ta tata tatatatatatata.

ta-te-ta-te-tiddle iddle-a ta-te-ta-te-tiddle iddle-a ta-te-ta-te-tiddle-iddle-a tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-ata

it is the best peace they play except departed days. that always makes me feel like crying it is kinder sad like. i hope i can get my cornet some day.

May 19. had a auful toothake today and had to go down to docter Pitman and he pulled it out. i tell you it hurt. Docter Pitman said the roots must have reached way to the back of my neck. Beany went with me and then told all round that i hollered. you jest wait Beany.

May 21. erly this afternoon me and Fatty Melcher got some real segars at Henry Simsons store and went down behind old man Churchills store and smoked them. we were both auful sick and laid there all the afternoon.

when i went home i walked wobbly and mother asked me if i was sick and she put me to bed and was going to send for the docter, but father came in and when he found out what aled me he laffed and said it served me rite. then after supper he set out on the steps rite under my window and smoked a old pipe and i cood smell it and i thought i shood die. then mother asked him to go away and he laffed and said all rite, but he gessed i had enuf for one day and she said she gessed so and i gess so too. he said if it hadent made me sick he wood have licked me.

i dont see why it is so, father swears sometimes when he hits his thum with a hammer and once when he was in the dark he was walking towards the door with his arms out to feel for the door, one arm went on one side of the door and the other arm on the other side and he hit his nose a fearful b.u.mp rite on the ege of the door, and i wish you cood have heard him swear, well if i swear he licks me, and he smokes and if i do he says he will lick me and he dont go to church and if i dont go he says he will lick me. O dear i gess i wont smoke enny more.

May 22. Went in swimming today twise, once down to the raceway and once up to the gravel.

May 23. Went b.u.t.terflying with Chick Chickering today, it is a little early for them, but we got two blew and black ones and three little red ones. Me and Chick are making aquariams. Chick has got a splendid gla.s.s one. i made mine out of a b.u.t.ter firkin. i sawed it off half way and then washed it out with soft soap and rensed it 2 or 3 times and then i put in some white sand and stones and i have got some little minnies and kivies and a little pickerel. it looks splendid and i change the water every 3 days.

May 24. Nothing particular today.

May 25. i can swim under water from the big tree on Moulton's side of the river at the gravel to the tree on the bank on Gilman's side. i went in 3 times today.

May 26. My rooster is sick. he has et something. he sits all humped up.

i went in swimming 2 times today.

May 27. My rooster is pretty sick. i tride to give him some kiann pepper tonite. father said kiann pepper was good for sick hens, so i held his mouth open and give him a spoonful. when i let him go he kept his mouth open and sorter sneezed pip-craw pip-craw pip-craw, and then he went to the water dish and began to drink. i think he is better because he hadent drank any water for 2 days before. he was still drinking when i went away. i gess he will be a lot better tomorrow.

May 28. What do you think, this morning when i went out to feed my hens i found my rooster dead. he had drank up all the water and he was all puffed up. i felt pretty bad. father says i gave him enuf kiann pepper for a horse. he aught to have told me. he was a pretty good rooster too.

i am having pretty tuff luck.

May 29. i read over my diary today. i have forgot to tell whether it was brite and fair or rany, i cant say now.

May 30, 186- Nothing particular today. brite and fair.

May 31. brite and fair. went up to Whacker Chadwicks today after school to help him plant his garden. we had about a bushel of potatoes to plant and it was fun to sit round a basket and cut up the potatoes. after a while Gim Erly and Luke Mannux c.u.me along and we began to plug potatoes at them, they plugged them back and we had a splendid fite, me and Whack and Pozzy and Boog Chadwick on one side and Gim Erly and Luke Mannux and Bob Ridly on the other. Luke Mannux hit me twice rite in the back of the head. i am going up tomorrow to help them some more. went in swimming once to-day.

May 32 no i mean June 1. i went up to Chadwicks after school. Captin Chadwick was there and they wasent enny pluggin potatoes. went in swimming.

June 2. Rany. Beany is mad with me. i dont care.

June 3. went to church today.

June 4. clowdy but no rane. went up to Chadwicks today and sawed wood.

Boog and Pozzy fit while me and Whack sawed wood then we went in swiming down to Sandy Bottom. some body tide some hard gnots in my shirt. i forgot to split my kindlings tonite.

June 5. brite and fair. Beany is still mad.

June 6. brite and fair. i know what Beany is mad about. he thinks i told about his getting a licking. i dident tell. he can stay mad if he wants to.

June 7. father has bought a horse of Dan Randlet. i rode up to Brentwood with Sam Diar to get it. it is the prettiest horse i ever saw. i rode it down from Brentwood and it goes jest as easy as sitting on a spring board. when i got home Beany got over his mad and came over and i gave him a ride. me and Beany never were mad so long before.

June 9. Rany. this afternoon me and Beany and father went to ride with the new horse. her name is Nellie.

June 10. brite and fair. we keep Nellie down to Jo Hanes stable. Frank Hanes is learning me how to clean her off. she nipped my arm today and made a black and blew spot. went in swimming today.

i have to get up every morning and harnes Nelly and drive father to the depot. i like it because i always race with the men coming down front street. there is George Dergin and Fred Sellivan and Gim Wingit and i can beat them all. i dont tell father that i race. i rode Nellie this afternoon with Frank Hanes and Ed Tole. i dident go in swimming today.

June 11. brite and fair. Nellie kicked me today. i gess i scrached her today to hard with the curycomb. it dident hurt me much. i went in swimming twise.

June 12. brite and fair. Me and Chick Chickering went bullfroging today, we got 3 dozen hind legs and sold them to Mr. Hirvey for 30 cents and took our pay in icecream.

June 13. Rode Nellie this noon. i have to go to the half past five train every nite for father. i like to drive but i dont like to go every nite.

June 14. Rashe Belnap and Horris Cobbs go in swimming every morning at six o'clock. i got a licking today that beat the one Beany got. last summer me and Tomt.i.t Tomson and Cawcaw Harding and Whack and Poz and Boog Chadwick went in swimming in May and all thru the summer until October. one day i went in 10 times. well i dident say anything about it to father so as not to scare him. well today he did go to Boston and he said i am going to teech you to swim. when i was as old as you i cood swim said he, and you must lern, i said i have been wanting to lern to swim, for all the other boys can swim. so we went down to the gravil and i peeled off my close and got ready, now said he, you jest wade in up to your waste and squat down and duck your head under. i said the water will get in my nose. he said no it wont jest squat rite down. i cood see him laffin when he thought i wood snort and sputter. so i waded out a little ways and then div in and swam under water most across, and when i came up i looked to see if father was supprised. gosh you aught to have seen him. he had pulled off his coat and vest and there he stood up to his waste in the water with his eyes jest bugging rite out as big as hens eggs, and he was jest a going to dive for my dead body. then i turned over on my back and waved my hand at him. he dident say anything for a minute, only he drawed in a long breth. then he began to look foolish, and then mad, and then he turned and started to slosh back to the bank where he slipped and went in all over. When he got to the bank he was pretty mad and yelled for me to come out. when i came out he cut a stick and whaled me, and as soon as i got home he sent me to bed for lying, but i gess he was mad becaus i about scart the life out of him.

but that nite i heard him telling mother about it and he said that he div 3 times for me in about thirty feet of water. but he braged about my swiming and said i cood swim like a striped frog. i shall never forget how his boots went kerslosh kerslosh kerslosh when we were skinning home thru cros-lots. i shall never forget how that old stick hurt either.

ennyhow he dident say ennything about not going in again, so i gess i am all rite.

June 15, 186- Johnny Heeld, a student, came to me and wanted me to carry some tickets to a dance round to the girls in the town. there was about 1 hundred of them. he read the names over to me and i said i knew them all. so after school me and Beany started out and walked all over town and give out the tickets. i had a long string of names and every time i wood leave one i wood mark out the name. i dident give the Head girls any because they told father about some things that me and Beany and Pewt did and the Farmer girls and the Cilley girls lived way up on the plains and i dident want to walk up there, so when i went over to Hemlock side to give one, i went over to the factory boarding house and give some to them. they was auful glad to get them too and said they would go to the dance. some people was not at home and so i gave their tickets to the next house. it took me till 8 o'clock and i got 1 dollar for it. i dont beleive those girls that dident get their tickets will care much about going ennyway. i gess the Head girls wont want to tell on me another time.

June 16. Dennis c.o.kely and Tomt.i.t Tomson had a fite behind Hirvey's resterent today. Hirvey stopped them jest as they were having a good one. Thats jest the way. i dont see why they always want to stop a fite.

All fellers fite for is to see which can lick, and how can they tell unless they fite it out.

June 17. Brite and fair. They is going to be a big cattle show here this fall. They are going to have it in a field up by the depot. They are going to have horse trots and shows and everything. We are going to have no school. it dont come for an auful while yet. Charles Taylor is going to have Nelly to ride.

June 18. Me and Mickey Gould had a race horseback. he had one of Ben Merril's little black horses, we raced way round Kensington ring. i cood beat trotting and he cood beat running. when i got home Nelly was so swetty that father told me not to ride her for a week.

June 19. Went up to Chadwicks after school. Boog and Whack got Willie fiting with Johnny Rogers. Willie licked him. Willie is Whack's little brother. he is a auful cunning little feller. he can fite too. all the Chadwick's can fite.

June 20. Brite and fair. i am going fishing tonite with Potter Gorham.

June 21. brite and fair. went fishing today with Potter Gorham. i cought 5 pirch and 4 pickeril. i cleaned them and we had them for supper.

father said they was the best fish he ever et. i also cought the biggest roach i ever saw, almost as big as a sucker, and i cant tell what i did with him. i thought Potter had hooked him for fun, but he said he dident, and we hunted everywhere for him. i dont know where i put that roach.

June 22. the students had their dance last nite. they had a auful time.

some of the girls which dident get no tickets was mad, and the students which wanted them to go was mad and they went to Johnny Heeld and give him time. then he went round and told them how it was and give them tickets. well the nite of the dance everything was all rite until lots of people came which hadent been on the list, but which we had given tickets. well the students dident want to let them in and they were mad, and Chick Randal hit a student named Pendry rite in the nose and nocked his gla.s.ses off and Nichols nocked Johnny Lord way acros the entry and they was going to have a big fite when Bob Carter and 2 or 3 men stoped it. today Johnny Heeld came down to the house and said i had got things all mixed up and father made me give back the dollar. but he told Johnny Heeld he hadent ought to have let me try such a hard job. Gosh, i am glad father thinks it was a mistake, and dont know that i did it on purpose.

June 23. there is a dead rat in the wall in my room. it smells auful.

June 24. Rany. most time for vacation. the smell in my room is fearful.

June 25. more trouble today. it seems as if there wasent any use in living. nothing but trouble all the time. mother said i coodent sleep in that room until the rat was taken out. well father he came into my room and sniffed once and said, whew, what a almity smell. then he held his nose and went out and came back with mister Staples the father of the feller that called me Polelegs. well he came in and put his nose up to the wall and sniffed round until he came to where my old close hung.

then he said, thunder George, this is the place, rite behind this jacket, it is the wirst smell i ever smelt. then he threw my close in a corner and took out his tools and began to dig a hole in the wall, while father and mother and aunt Sarah stood looking at him and holding their nose. after he dug the hole he reached in but dident find ennything, then he stuck in his nose and said, it dont smell enny in there. then they all let go of their nose and took a sniff and said murder it is wirse than ever it must be rite in the room somewhere. then father said to me, look in those close and see if there is ennything there. so i looked and found in the poket of my old jaket that big roach that i lost, when i went fishing with Potter Gorham. it was all squashy and smelt auful. father was mad and made me throw the jaket out of the window and wont let me go fishing for a week. ennyway i know now what became of my roach.

June 26. Keene and Cele are going to sing in the Unitarial quire. father says he will give them some bronze boots. mother got them some new nets for their hair today. girls has lots more done for them than fellers.

June 27, 186- Brite and fair. school closed today. we dont have enny more school til September. snapcrackers have come. 8 cents a bunch at old Langlys store. Lane and Rollins sell them for 10 cents. torpedos 8 cents a bunch. pin wheels 1 cent each. Pewt is going to have a cannon.