"I do not call upon you, my poor corrupt boy, to turn from sin and work righteousness in your own strength; this you can no more do than the Ethiopian can change his skin; but I do call upon you to receive the whole of G.o.d's salvation, and power to resist sin is a princ.i.p.al part of it. In G.o.d's word it is said, that the Lord gave Christ to be a covenant to the people: we have to covenant with him on our part; we are all poor, lost, miserable creatures, I as well as you, by nature; but the Lord Christ is G.o.d's gift to sinners. All the other promises are made to those who have received and accepted of this gift; but Christ himself is G.o.d's gift to sinners--to the chief of sinners--_to you, John Graham, by name_; and the Bible says, to as many as receive him, to them gives he power to become the sons of G.o.d. G.o.d gave Christ to become the price in our hand; we take this gift, and offer back, as the price of our redemption, his atoning sacrifice, his all-perfect righteousness; and on this ground we are ent.i.tled, by his own plan, which he prepared from first to last, to plead for the full accomplishment of all the promises in the Bible: for the pardon of sin; yea, for an entire new nature.

"O, my son, open your Bible, go to your knees, look out words there fit for your case; present them humbly before G.o.d, turn all the promises you find there, all the offers, all the calls, all the commands, all the threatenings into prayer--for you of yourself can do nothing--and ask that G.o.d, for Christ's sake, may pour out on you the spirit of prayer. I know not how to have done; yet I well know, unless the Lord soften your poor obdurate heart, it will still remain hard.

O, my son, be willing to put it in his hand, to receive his salvation, and give yourself up to his guiding. I beg you will read with care the 15th chapter of the gospel of Luke. The Lord spoke these parables to show how very willing he is to receive returning sinners. Your mother and all your sisters are willing to follow his example; return to us, my son. We will watch over you we will pray over you, and we will try, by every endearing method, to restore you not only to health, but to comfort. Your sisters wish you to come; all your friends are willing to receive you; we will not upbraid you.

"Do, my dear, leave Greenock; come out to us by any way you can find, I will pay your pa.s.sage here; or if you can get to any port in America, you can write me from that, and I will get you forwarded here; and, after you are here, if you still wish to follow the sea, we can get you a berth in some trading vessel from this. All your friends here send best wishes. And now, my son, I commend you to the Lord. O, that he may bless this to you,

"Your affectionate mother,

"I. GRAHAM."

The last intelligence that Mrs. Graham received of her unfortunate son was in a letter from himself, dated Demarara, 1794, in which he states that he had sailed from Amsterdam in a Dutch vessel; was taken by the French, and retaken by the English; had arrived at Demarara in the ship Hope; and should he not soon hear from his mother, would return to Europe with a fleet which was shortly to sail under convoy. Mrs. Graham notices this event as follows:

"NEW YORK, February 20, 1794.

"This day I have a letter from my poor wanderer. It is more than a year since I heard of him. Accept of my thanks, good and gracious Lord. I feared his cup had been full, and he called out of the world with all his sins on his own head; for I have no tidings of his turning from his sinful courses, or fleeing from the wrath to come, by taking hold of the hope set before him.

"I bless thee, Oh, I bless thee, for thy sparing mercy, thy long-suffering, thy patience, thy forbearance. Yea, even to him, thou hast been more than all this. Thou hast been his preserver, his provider; thou hast watched over him in many imminent dangers, in the great deeps, in burning and in frozen climes.

"Thou hast followed him with thy preserving mercy and temporal bounty. He is still in the land of the living, and among those who are called to look unto thee and live. Still thou feedest my hopes of better things for him. Thou sufferest my prayers to lie on the table of thy covenant. I will trust, I will hope, I will believe, that in an accepted time thou wilt hear me, and in a day of thy power thou wilt bow his stubborn will, and lay him an humble suppliant at thy feet.

Oh, I trust thou wilt bring this poor prodigal to himself, and turn his steps towards his Father's house. See how he feeds with the swine upon husks, and even these not his own. O turn his thoughts to his 'Father's house, where there is bread enough, and to spare.'

"'Lord, remember thy gracious word, on which thou hast caused me to hope,' and which has ever been my comfort in the time of my affliction, and in my straits my only relief.

"He is again launched into thy great ocean. Lord, he is far from every friend and from every means of grace, and for any thing I know, far from thee by wicked works; under thy curse and hateful in thy sight; but thou, G.o.d, seest him. Means are not necessary, if thou willest to work without. Thou canst find an avenue to his heart at once. Dead as he is, vile as he is, guilty as he is, far from help of man, and in the most unlikely situation to receive the help of G.o.d, yet I know all these hinderances, all these mountains shall melt as wax at thy presence.

"Lord, I believe, thou knowest I believe, that if thou but speak the word, this dead soul shall live; this vile, this guilty soul shall be cleansed, shall be renewed, and my son be changed to an humble, thankful, genuine child of G.o.d, through the cleansing blood of atonement, through the imputation of the Redeemer's righteousness and the implantation of thy Spirit. I can do nothing for him, but thou canst do all this. I wait for it, Lord, I wait for thy salvation.

Lord, let there be 'joy in heaven over this one sinner repenting.' I roll him on thee. I trust in thy sovereign, free, unmerited mercy in Christ. Amen."

All inquiries inst.i.tuted by kind friends respecting this son proved fruitless; and as a vessel named the Hope was some months after reported as having been taken by the French, it is perhaps probable that he died in a French prison.

Thus again had his afflicted mother to exercise faith and submission, not without hope towards G.o.d that the great Redeemer had taken care of, and would finally save this prodigal son. She had known a case in her father's family, which excited their solicitude and encouraged her hope. Her younger brother, Archibald Marshall, a lad of high temper, though possessed of an affectionate heart, had gone to sea, and was not heard of at all for several years. A pious woman, who kept a boarding-house in Paisley, found one of her boarders one day reading Doddridge's Rise and Progress of Religion in the Soul, with Archibald Marshall's name written on the blank leaf. On inquiry, the stranger told her that he got that book from a young man on his death-bed as a token of regard. That young man was Archibald Marshall; he was an exemplary Christian, "and I have reason," added he, "to bless G.o.d that he ever was my mess-mate." The woman who heard this account, transmitted it to Mr. Marshall's family, who were known to her. Mrs. Graham had no such consolatory account afforded to her; but under much yearning of heart she left this concern, as well as every other, to the disposal of that G.o.d "who doeth all things well."

Again she sings of mercy in a sweet meditation.

"NEW YORK, October 1, 1794

"'Return unto thy rest, O my soul, for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with thee.'

"Blessed be the Lord, for he hath showed me his marvellous loving-kindness in a strong city--Christ, the city of refuge.

"Thou hast given me my heart's desire, and hast not withholden the request of my lips. 'One thing have I desired of the Lord,' and through life sought after for myself and the children whom thou hast given me; 'that all the days of our lives we might dwell in the house of the Lord,' behold his beauty, and inquire in his holy temple; that in the time of trouble he would hide us in his pavilion, in the secret of his tabernacle, and set our feet upon a rock.

"O thou incarnate G.o.d; thou blessed temple not made with hands; thou blessed pavilion, in which thy people hide in the time of trouble, and are safe; thou Rock of ages, on which we build our hopes for time and eternity, and defy the a.s.saults of sin, Satan, and the world: thou, Jehovah Jesus, art all these to thy people. Thou broughtest them 'from a fearful pit and from the miry clay; thou settest their feet upon this spiritual rock, and establishest their goings; thou puttest a new song in their mouths, even praise unto their G.o.d.' Many have seen it and sung it; many now see and sing it; many shall see and sing it, and trust in the Lord. They find in thee all that is expressive of life; all that is expressive of safety; all that is expressive of comfort; all that is expressive of happiness.

"'O how many are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, and thy thoughts which are to us-ward; they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare and speak of them, they are more than can be numbered.' Thou, thy blessed self, art the sum and substance of every good to man. All this I know; all this have I at different times experienced; and yet my heart is heavy, my spirits depressed. There is no cause, Oh no. Thy very afflictive providences have met my wishes, and been so many answers to my prayers.

"Thou Husband of the widow, thou Father of the fatherless, O how fully, how manifestly hast thou fulfilled these relations to thy worthless servant. Thou, in my early widowhood, didst call me to leave my fatherless children on thee, annexing the promise that thou wouldst preserve them alive.

"Thou didst put it into my heart to plead the promise in a spiritual sense; to ask, to hope, to wait for the new birth, the life which Christ died to purchase, and lives to bestow.

"In three of these fatherless I have seen thy work. Long did the grain of mustard-seed lie buried among the weeds of worldly-mindedness; long were my hopes and fears alternate; but now the blessed discipline of the covenant has been exercised; I have witnessed it, I have felt it--suffered the rod with them and for them, but waited for the fruits in hope; and glory to thee, dear Husband and Father, I have not waited in vain. Thou hast written _vanity,_ and opened our eyes to read vanity written on every earthly enjoyment, except so far as thou art enjoyed in them. Thou hast enabled not only thine aged servant, but her children, to put a blank into thy hand, and to say, 'Choose thou for us.' We take hold of thy covenant, and choose it for our portion. Is not this, O Lord, the full amount of my desires? Thou wilt finish the work in thy own time, and by means of thy appointing.

Amen. Lord, do as thou hast said."

CHAPTER V.

DEATH OF HER DAUGHTER--FIRST MISSIONARY SOCIETY IN NEW YORK.

In July, 1795, Mrs. Graham's second daughter, Joanna, was married to Mr. Divie Bethune, merchant in New York. In the following month her eldest daughter, Mrs. Stevenson, was seized with a fatal illness.

Possessing a most amiable disposition and genuine piety, she viewed the approach of death with the composure of a Christian and the intrepidity of faith.

She had been in delicate health for some years, and now a complication of disorders denied all hope of recovery. She sung a hymn of triumph until the struggles of death interrupted her. Mrs. Graham displayed great firmness of mind during the last trying scene, and when the spirit of her daughter fled, the mother raised her hands, and looking towards heaven, exclaimed, 'I wish you joy, my darling.' She then washed her face, took some refreshment, and retired to rest.

Such was her joy of faith at the full salvation of her child; but when _the loss of her company_ was felt, the tenderness of a mother's heart afterwards gave vent to feelings of affectionate sorrow: nature will feel, even when faith triumphs. In her devout meditations before G.o.d, Mrs. Graham improves this event as follows:

"OCTOBER 4, 1795.

"Why, O why is my spirit still depressed? Why these sobs? Father, forgive. 'Jesus wept.' I weep, but acquiesce. This day two months the Lord delivered my Jessie, _his Jessie,_ from a body of sin and death, finished the good work he had begun, perfected what concerned her, trimmed her lamp, and carried her triumphing through 'the valley of the shadow of death.' She overcame through the blood of the Lamb.

"I rejoiced in the Lord's work, and was thankful that the one, the only thing I had asked for her, was now completed. I saw her delivered from much corruption within, from strong and peculiar temptation without. I had seen her often staggering, sometimes falling under the rod; I had heard her earnestly wish for deliverance from sin, and when death approached she was more than satisfied: said she had been a great sinner, but she had a great Saviour; praised him and thanked him for all his dealings with her--for hedging her in, for chastising her; and even prayed that sin and corruption might be destroyed, if the body should be dissolved to effect it. The Lord fulfilled her desire, and, I may add, mine. He lifted upon her the light of his countenance; revived her languid graces; increased her faith and hope; loosed her from earthly concerns, and made her rejoice in the stability of his covenant, and to sing, 'All is well, all is well; good is the will of the Lord.' I did rejoice, I do rejoice; but O Lord, thou knowest my frame; she was my pleasant companion, my affectionate child; my soul feels a want. O fill it up with more of thy presence; give yet more communications of thyself.

"We are yet one in Christ our head--united in him; and though she shall not return unto me, I shall go to her, and then our communion will be more full, more delightful, as it will be perfectly free from sin. Christ shall be our bond of union, and we shall be fully under the influence of it.

"Let me then gird up the loins of my mind, and set forward to serve my day and generation, to finish my course. The Lord will perfect what concerns me; and when it shall please him, he will unclothe me, break down these prison-walls, and admit me into the happy society of his redeemed and glorified members: then 'shall he wipe away all tears from my eyes,' and I shall taste the joys which are at his right hand, and be satisfied for evermore."

Mrs. Graham made it a rule to appropriate _a tenth_ part of her earnings to be expended for pious and charitable purposes. She had taken a lease of two lots of ground on Greenwich-street from the corporation of Trinity church, with a view of building a house on them for her own accommodation; the building, however, she never commenced.

By a sale of the lease, which her son Mr. Bethune made for her in 1795, she got an advance of one thousand pounds. So large a profit was new to her. "Quick, quick," said she, "let me appropriate the tenth before my heart grows hard." What fidelity in duty; what distrust of herself. Fifty pounds of this money she sent to Mr. Mason in aid of the funds he was collecting for the establishment of a Theological Seminary. Her own version of this matter we have in a letter to her familiar friend Mrs. Walker, of Edinburgh:

"1795.

"MY DEAR MRS. WALKER--My last informed you that we had been made to taste of the Lord's visitation--the yellow-fever--but in great mercy had been spared in the midst of much apparent danger. I have now in my house a girl who lost both father and mother, and many whole families were cut off; my house was emptied; my school broken up; we confined to town, and heavy duty laid upon us at the same time. I trembled again for fear of debt; but 'the Lord brought meat out of the eater.'

"Three years ago, when tried by having one house taken over my head, another bought, and obliged to move three times in as many years, some speculating genius brought me under the influence of the madness of the times, and persuaded me I might build without money. It is quite common here to build by contract. I could not purchase ground, but I leased two lots of church land, got a plan made out, and worried myself for six months, trying to hatch chickens without eggs.

I had asked the Lord to build me a house, to give success to the means, still keeping in view covenant provision, 'what is good the Lord will give.' After many disappointments I said, Well; I have asked--I am refused--it is not good--the Lord will not give it: he will provide, but in his own way, not mine.

"Of course I had to pay ground-rent, which in three years amounted to two hundred and twenty dollars. I think I hear you say, I never could have believed that Mrs. Graham could be guilty of such folly--nor I; but seeing and hearing of many such things, I fancied myself very clever. Last year a basin was formed, and wharves around it, opposite to the said lots; the epidemic raging on the other side of the city brought all the vessels that came in round to them, and great expectations were formed for this new basin; houses and stores sprung up like mushrooms, and Mr. Bethune sold my lease for one thousand pounds. Lo, and behold, part of it is already spent. All my provision through this wilderness has been so strongly marked by peculiar providences, my mind seems habituated to a sense of certainty. I feel my portion of earthly good safer and better in my Lord's hand than in my own."

In the ensuing year we find the following outbreathings of her rich Christian experience: