FOR

MY LAST JOURNEY THROUGH THE WILDERNESS

AND

Pa.s.sAGE OVER JORDAN.*

*Found in Mrs. Graham's pocket after her decease.

"'Prepare you victuals, for within three days ye shall pa.s.s over this Jordan, to go in to possess the land which the Lord your G.o.d giveth you to possess it. When ye see the ark of the covenant of the Lord your G.o.d, and the priests bearing it, then ye shall remove and go after it: that ye may know the way by which ye must go, for ye have not pa.s.sed this way heretofore.'

"'Sanctify yourselves, for to-morrow the Lord will do wonders among you.'

"'Behold, the ark of the covenant of the Lord of all the earth pa.s.seth over before you into Jordan: and it shall come to pa.s.s, that as soon as the soles of the feet of the priests that bear the ark of the Lord, the Lord of all the earth, shall rest in the waters, that the waters of Jordan shall be cut off from the waters that come down from above; and they shall stand upon a heap.'

"'And it came to pa.s.s, that when the people removed from their tents to pa.s.s over Jordan, and the priests bearing the ark of the covenant before the people, that as they that bare the ark were come into Jordan, and the feet of the priests were dipped in the brim of the water, that the waters that came down from above stood and rose up upon a heap; and the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood firm on dry ground in the midst of Jordan, and all the Israelites pa.s.sed over on dry ground.'

"'And Joshua set up twelve stones in the midst of Jordan, in the place where the feet of the priests that bare the ark of the covenant of the Lord stood; and they are there unto this day.'

"'When your children shall ask their fathers in time to come, saying, What mean these stones? ye shall let your children know, saying, Israel came over this Jordan on dry land; for the Lord your G.o.d dried up the waters from before you until ye were pa.s.sed over, as the Lord your G.o.d did to the Red sea, which he dried up, until we were pa.s.sed over; that all people of the earth might know the hand of the Lord, that it is mighty: that ye might fear the Lord your G.o.d for ever,' Amen. Josh. 1:11; chap. 3, 4.

"Oh, thou Jehovah; Israel's G.o.d, and by thy new covenant, my G.o.d; thus far hast thou brought me through the wilderness: bearing, chastising, forgiving, restoring. Well hast thou made out thy wilderness name to me: 'The Lord, the Lord G.o.d, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.' Great have been my provocations, but greater still thy covenant mercy. I have not perished with them that believed not; sore bitten I am, but thou hast fixed mine eyes on the lifted-up Healer, and I am in his hand for further cure. My journey has been long, and my way devious; but my blessed Joshua is still in view. I must be near to Jordan's flood; I have been preparing victuals from thine own repository of truth. And now, my blessed High-priest and Ark of the covenant, lead on my staggering steps the little further. I have not gone this way heretofore, but thou hast measured these waters while they overflowed all their banks. Thou hast pa.s.sed through, and made the pa.s.sage safe for thy people. At thy command the waters stand up upon a heap, and they pa.s.s through in thy presence on faith's firm ground. Keep then mine eye upon thee, and I shall fear no evil. And Oh, my, blessed Leader, if it might please thee, I would ask a boon, yet with submission, that thy sensible presence might be with me all the way through; and that thou wouldst bring from my quivering lips a testimony to the glory of thy grace, that my children may know that thou hast pardoned, restored, perfected, dried up the waters of terror, carried me triumphantly through, and put me in possession of the purchased inheritance. Amen.

"'This is a faithful saying, and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.'

1 Tim. 1:15.

"I have often inquired, What is there within us, or without us, on which a sinner can rest in peace in a dying hour? If it be a holy life, there can be no peace for me--taking the law of G.o.d for my standard; backslider is my name; yet I think in this sacred volume I find a hope even for me, the chief of sinners.

"'As Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness, even so must the Son of man be lifted up, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life. For G.o.d so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish, but have eternal life. For G.o.d sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through him might be saved.'

'He that cometh from heaven is above all, and what he hath seen and heard, that he testifieth.' 'He that receiveth his testimony has set to his seal that G.o.d is true.' 'The Father loveth the Son, and hath given all things into his hand; he that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life.' John 3:14-36. Here is a hope for me; the world is made up of sinners, I am one of them, and though the chief, am not excluded. The Son of man came to save that which was lost, Matt.

18:11; I am of that description. 'The Pharisees said, Why eateth your master with publicans and sinners? Jesus said, The whole need not a physician, but they that are sick.' Matt. 9:11. I am a sinner, and sick. 'I will have mercy, and not sacrifice; for I am not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.' I am a sinner, and need repentance. 'Him hath G.o.d exalted with his right hand, to be a Prince and a Saviour, to give repentance to Israel and forgiveness of sins.'

Acts 5:31. 'The Lord is long-suffering, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.' 2 Pet. 3:9.

"Christ said to the woman of Samaria, a notorious sinner, 'If thou knewest the gift of G.o.d, and who it is that saith to thee, Give me to drink, thou wouldest have asked of him, and he would have given thee living water. Whosoever drinketh of this water shall thirst again; but whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him, shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.' John 4:10, 14. Yes, my Redeemer, a draught of this water, received in faith from the hand of the Spirit, will give life in death. O pour it into my thirsty soul in that searching hour.

"Jesus said to a mixed mult.i.tude of sinners like me, 'Labor not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you; for him hath G.o.d the Father sealed,' John 6:27. These sinners said unto him, 'What shall we do that we might work the works of G.o.d?' 'That ye believe on Him whom he hath sent. My Father giveth you the true bread from heaven, for the bread of G.o.d is he which cometh down from heaven, and giveth life unto the world: I am the bread of life; he that cometh unto me shall never hunger, and he that believeth on me shall never thirst. I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any man eat of this bread, he shall live for ever. And the bread which I shall give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world. Jesus said unto them, Except ye eat the flesh, and drink the blood of the Son of man, ye have no life in you: whoso eateth my flesh, and drinketh my blood, dwelleth in me, and I in him. As the living Father hath sent me, and I live by the Father; so he that eateth me, even he shall live by me.' The Father giveth this bread, the Son giveth this bread; whosoever will, may take of this bread, and the promise with it. Father, I take this bread, I take and believe that I have in thee eternal life, according to thy word. O holy and blessed Comforter, Spirit of the Father and of the Son, whose office it is to take of the things of Christ and show them unto his redeemed, when the bread and the water that perish can no longer refresh this dying body, apply this living bread and living water to my soul, that life may spring up in the midst of death; and in that trying hour, bear witness with my spirit that I dwell in Christ, and Christ in me, and that I shall never die.

"'In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, If any man thirst, let him come unto me and drink. He that believeth on me, as the Scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. This spake he of the Spirit, that they who believe on him should receive.' John 7:37. This he proclaimed to a mixed mult.i.tude of sinners like myself. Lord, I believe, and am sure that thou art that Christ, the Son of the living G.o.d. Be it unto me according to thy word: 'I am the resurrection and the life: he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live; and whosoever liveth and believeth in me, shall never die. Believest thou this?'

John 11:25. I believe that thou art the Christ, the Son of the living G.o.d, which should come into the world; the promised Messiah; the gift of the Father, the covenant given to the people; the anointed Prophet and King, and consecrated High-priest; who through the eternal Spirit offeredst thyself without spot unto G.o.d; who came to do that most perfect will of G.o.d, by which we are sanctified through the offering of the body of Christ once for all. Lamb of G.o.d, which takest away the sins of the world, on thee I lay my precious never-dying soul; wash me in thy blood, clothe me in thy righteousness; sanctify me, soul, spirit, and body, to thy service. I have no other foundation of hope, nothing within me, nothing without me; my entire dependence is on thy finished work; into thy hands I commit my spirit.

"Let me hear thy consoling voice, compa.s.sionate Saviour. 'Let not your heart be troubled: ye believe in G.o.d, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions; if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. I will come again and receive you unto myself, that where I am, there ye may be also,' John 14:1-3.

O seal this upon my heart, and it is enough. To be where thou art, is heaven enough to me. To be where thou art, to see thee as thou art, and to be made like thee, the last sinful motion for ever past--no more opposition, no more weariness, listlessness, dryness, deadness; but conformed to my blessed Head, every way capacitated to serve him, and to enjoy him--this is heaven.

"'Jesus said, I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no man cometh to the Father, but by me.' Blessed Comforter, do thine office; take these things of Christ and show them unto me; lead me in this way, feed me with this truth, and animate me with this life: 'Whatsoever ye shall ask of the Father in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If ye ask any thing in my name, I will do it.' Blessed Comforter, here also do thine office: I know not what to ask for as I ought; help mine infirmities as thou hast said; suggest the prayer, be in me the spirit of prayer and supplication, and especially in that hour of need, when sickness saps the clay tabernacle, discomposing the spirit, and confusing perhaps the ideas: still, still let my thoughts rise to my G.o.d. Oh, let no unhallowed subject get hold of me in that hour, but keep my Saviour's name in my heart, and on my lips. Is not this according to thy will?

watch over it then, and keep the avenues of my soul from every vain idea.

"'If ye love me, keep my commandments, and I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it seeth him not, neither knoweth him; but ye know him, for he dwelleth with you, and shall be in you. He that hath my commandments and keepeth them, he it is that loveth me; and he that loveth me shall be loved of my Father, and I will love him, and will manifest myself unto him; and we will come and make our abode with him. The Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you: let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.' In that last warfare, when nothing on earth can give peace; when the world recedes, and disappears; when friends must stand aloof and leave me to the combat alone; Oh, blessed and promised Comforter, bring to my remembrance, and impress on my weary spirit these sweet words of my Saviour. But it has often occurred to me, and may in that hour, that though Jesus received sinners, they were ignorant sinners. The Jews understood not the gospel contained in their types and sacrifices; they were unenlightened and unconverted; the Gentiles were totally blind, serving dumb idols; neither had known the gospel, neither had tasted the grace of G.o.d, neither were backsliders, like me. I have known the truth, been enlightened, tasted of the heavenly gift, been made a partaker of the Holy Ghost, tasted of the good word of G.o.d, and of the power of the world to come.

"Fifty years ago the Lord convinced me of my sin, my misery, and my total helplessness. I was also, I think, enabled to lay hold on the hope set before me.

"I have, in numerous exercises and acts, accepted of G.o.d's gift of Jesus Christ to me a condemned sinner; taking hold of the Scripture words of invitation and promise held out for my acceptance. I have pleaded his own covenant provision, in the subst.i.tution of his own Son in my stead, making him to be sin, who knew no sin, that sinners might be made the righteousness of G.o.d in him. I put in my claim as a sinner, among the unG.o.dly for whom Christ died. I believed his testimony, and set to my seal that G.o.d is true. I rested on this foundation--I yet have no other; I know there is no other. The foundation standeth sure. But Oh, what am I to think of the fruits? I have again and again turned back into the world, grieved the Spirit, crucified the Son of G.o.d afresh, and put him to open shame. No wonder I stand alarmed at the apostle's a.s.sertion: my conscience testifies that my character is nearly, if not altogether, such as the apostle, by the Holy Spirit, says it is impossible to renew to repentance.

Hebrews 6:4, 5. But thou hast renewed to repentance! Thy name is 'the Lord, the Lord G.o.d, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.' Thou wilt by no means clear the guilty; but thou hast provided a subst.i.tute, and laid my guilt and guilty person on thine own Son.

"By this gracious name thou wast known to thy backsliding Israel in the wilderness; whose heart, like mine, was not right with G.o.d; neither were they steadfast in his covenant; but he, 'being full of compa.s.sion, forgave their iniquity, and destroyed them not.' Many a time turned he his anger away, and did not stir up all his wrath. They forgot G.o.d their Saviour, who had done great things for them; they transgressed his commandment, and in their heart turned back again to Egypt; they brought upon themselves many afflictions, and many times did he deliver them; they provoked him with their counsel, and were brought low for their iniquity; nevertheless, he heard their cry, and repented according to the mult.i.tude of his mercies; while the blood of bulls and of goats typified the great propitiatory sacrifice, by which 'G.o.d can be just and justify the unG.o.dly.' By this name was the Lord G.o.d, merciful and gracious, known in the pleasant land; and by the same sacrifice, the blood of Christ, which cleanseth from all sin, was typified. Psalms 103, 51.

"The prophets prophesied in his name. 'All we, like sheep, have gone astray, and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was wounded for our transgressions, and bruised for our iniquities; the chastis.e.m.e.nt of our peace was laid on him, and by his stripes we are healed.' 'Deliver him from going down to the pit; I have found a ransom.' Even backsliders, among whom I stand chief, have been recalled. 'My people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me the fountain of living waters, and have hewn out to themselves cisterns, broken cisterns, that can hold no water. Is Israel a servant; is he a home-born slave; wherefore is he spoiled? Hast thou not procured this to thyself, in that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy G.o.d, when he led thee by the way? And now what hast thou to do in the way of Egypt, to drink the waters of Sihor? or what hast thou to do in the way of a.s.syria, to drink the waters of the river? Thine own wickedness shall correct thee, and thy backslidings shall reprove thee. Know therefore, and see that it is an evil and bitter thing, that thou hast forsaken the Lord thy G.o.d, and that my fear is not in thee, saith the Lord G.o.d of hosts. For of old I have broken thy yoke, and burst thy bands; and thou saidst, I will not transgress; when upon every high hill and under every green tree thou wanderest, playing the harlot. Yet I had planted thee a n.o.ble vine, wholly a right seed: how art thou turned into the degenerate plant of a strange vine unto me?

Why gaddest thou about so much to change thy way? thou also shalt be ashamed of Egypt, as thou wast ashamed of a.s.syria. Have I been a barren wilderness, or a land of darkness unto thee? Wherefore say my people, We are lords, and will come no more to thee? Can a maid forget her ornaments, or a bride her attire? yet my people have forgotten me, days without number.' Jeremiah 2. 'They say, If a man put away his wife, and she go from him, and become another man's, shall he return to her again? shall not that land be greatly polluted? But thou hast played the harlot with many lovers; yet return again unto me, saith the Lord. Wilt thou not from this time cry unto me. My Father, thou art the guide of my youth?' What can I say to such grace? Thou art infinite in thy mercy to pardon, and in thy power to save. Such has been my character, and such the amazing mercy of my offended G.o.d.

Often, often has he pardoned, restored, blessed, and made me happy.

But Oh, just is the renewed charge against me. 'For the house of Israel and the house of Judah have dealt very treacherously with me, saith the Lord. They have belied the Lord, and said, It is not he, neither shall evil come upon us.' 'Go and proclaim these words, and say, Return, thou backsliding Israel, saith the Lord; and I will not cause mine anger to fall upon you: for I am merciful, saith the Lord, I will not keep anger for ever. Only acknowledge thine iniquity, that thou hast transgressed against the Lord thy G.o.d; and ye have not obeyed my voice, saith the Lord. Turn, O backsliding children, for I am married unto you.' Jer. 3. What, O what can I say to such grace?

Truly, thy ways are not as our ways, nor thy thoughts as our thoughts.

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are thy ways higher than our ways, and thy thoughts than our thoughts. Oh, how is my guilt aggravated by all this grace; and yet thou callest, _Return;_ and thou thyself turnest me. I do, O Lord G.o.d, merciful and gracious, I do acknowledge my iniquity; every time I turn back my eyes upon my past life my sins rise in magnitude, heightened by more enlarged views of thy goodness. It is of the Lord's mercies that I am not consumed, because his compa.s.sions fail not.

"A voice was heard upon the high places, weeping and supplication of the children of Israel, for they have perverted their ways, and they have forgotten the Lord their G.o.d. Yes, thou hast, my gracious G.o.d, granted repentance. Thine eye has seen the tears I have shed; thou hast given me a contrite heart. I have looked upon him whom I have pierced, and been in bitterness as for a first-born. I feel it now, and must feel it while the body of sin exists. But Oh, Lord G.o.d, merciful and gracious, the cause is in thyself, that I hear thy voice, and that I answer. 'Return, ye backsliding children, and I will heal your backslidings. Behold, I come unto thee, for thou art the Lord our G.o.d. Truly in vain is salvation hoped for from the hills and the mult.i.tude of mountains. Truly, in the Lord G.o.d is the salvation of Israel. We lie down in our shame, our confusion covereth us: for we have sinned against the Lord our G.o.d; we and our fathers, even from our youth; and have not obeyed the voice of the Lord G.o.d. Thus saith the Lord G.o.d, I will even deal with thee as thou hast done, who hast despised the oath in breaking the covenant. Nevertheless, I will remember my covenant with thee in the days of thy youth; and I will establish unto thee an everlasting covenant, and thou shalt know that I am the Lord. That thou mayest remember and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any more, because of thy shame, when I am pacified towards thee, saith the Lord G.o.d.' Amen, Lord G.o.d, merciful and gracious. Be it so. It is so _now_--it _must_, it will be so, until death shall open mine eyes on that mystery: The glory of G.o.d arising out of the abounding of sin, through the superabounding of grace, and grace reigning through righteousness unto eternal life, by Jesus Christ our Lord!

"Till then, while sin dwelleth in me, let me enjoy the blessedness of a contrite heart; yea, even shame and confusion, since it is the sign that thou art pacified with me. Thou hast dealt with me, thou hast chastened, and in some instances taken vengeance on my inventions. But thou art pacified with me, and I dare look again to thy holy temple, to the temple not made with hands, to the minister of the sanctuary, and the true tabernacle which the Lord pitched, and not man; to the blessed High-priest, who through the eternal Spirit offered himself a sacrifice without spot unto G.o.d, and by his own blood entered in once into the holy place, having obtained eternal redemption for us, and when he had purged our sins, sat down on the right hand of the Majesty on high; to the blessed Mediator of the new and better covenant, established on better promises; to the Surety of the new testament, and sealed with his own blood. Oh, I will look unto Jesus, the object, the author, and the finisher of that faith which interests us in himself and the whole of his purchase. He bids me look unto him, and be saved. I do look unto him, and I am saved. Who dares condemn the sinner whom Christ acquits? Who shall lay any thing to his charge? 'It is Christ that died; yea, rather, who is risen again; who is even at the right hand of G.o.d; who also maketh intercession for us.'"

ISAIAH 44:22. "RETURN UNTO ME.

A SCRIPTURE PARAPHRASE BY D. B----

"Return to thee, my G.o.d? dost thou The invitation yet renew?

Return to thee! my chiefest joy, Till sin did all my peace destroy.

"And yet, to hear thy pardoning voice Must make my trembling heart rejoice; Though sin is there, thou well dost know It is my burden and my foe.

"O let me hear those gracious words: Be still, my soul, they are the Lord's; That G.o.d, who once on thee did shine, And filled thee with a hope divine.

"'Thy black transgressions, trembling soul-- Thy sins so heinous and so foul, Which like a cloud obscure thy day, I've blotted out, I've washed away.

"'Return to me, thou 'rt mine; I own Thee for my servant, and my son; I have redeemed thy precious soul, And none my purchase shall control.'

"I hear, I come, my covenant G.o.d: Thy love's my life, my raiment, food; Thy favor, through my Jesus given, Is to my soul the bliss of heaven.

"I come, my Jesus; hold me fast, Till, life and Jordan's journey past, My faith to vision yield her place, And I shall see thy unveiled face.

"Then, with the loudest of the throng, Of sins forgiven I'll raise the song-- Of pardon bought with Jesus' blood, Sinners made kings and priests to G.o.d."

PSALM 103. FIFTY YEARS AGO.

"Oh thou, my soul, bless G.o.d the Lord, And all that in me is Be stirred up, his holy name To magnify and bless," etc.

"'I will not leave you comfortless; I will come to you. Yet a little while, and the world seeth me no more; but ye see me: because I live, ye shall live also. At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me, and I in you. Believest thou not that I am in the Father, and the Father in me? He that hath seen me, hath seen the Father. Howbeit, when the Spirit of truth is come, he will guide you into all truth. He shall glorify me; for he shall receive of mine, and shall show it unto you. All things that the Father hath are mine; therefore said I, that he shall take of mine, and shall show it unto you.' John 14; 16:14. 'Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word; that they all may be one; as thou, Father, art in me and I in thee, that they may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them, that they may be one, even as we are one, I in them and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them as thou hast loved me. Father, I will that they also, whom thou hast given me, be with me where I am, that they may behold my glory, which thou hast given me; for thou lovedst me before the foundation of the world.' John 17:20, etc. 'All are yours; and ye are Christ's; and Christ is G.o.d's.' 1 Cor. 3:22. 'Ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in G.o.d. When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.' Col. 3:3. 'For in him dwelleth all the fulness of the G.o.dhead bodily. And ye are complete in him, which is the head of all princ.i.p.ality and power.'

Col. 2:9. 'There is one body, and one Spirit, even as ye are called in one hope of your calling: one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one G.o.d and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in you all.

But unto every one of us is given grace according to the measure of the gift of Christ.' Eph. 4:4.

"'I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of G.o.d, who loved me, and gave himself for me,' Gal. 2: 20.