Health to the Muse!--and fill the gla.s.s, Heaven grant her soon some better place, Than earthen floor and fabric mean, Where disappointment shades the scene:

There as I came, by rumour led, I sighed and almost wished her dead; Her visage stained with many a tear, No Hallam and no Henry here!

But what could all their art attain?-- When pointed laws the stage restrain The prudent Muse obedience pays To sleepy squires, that d.a.m.n all plays.

Like thieves they hang beyond the town, They shove her off--to please the gown;-- Though Rome and Athens owned it true, The stage might mend our morals too.

See, Mopsus all the evening sits O'er bottled beer, that drowns his wits; Were Plays allowed, he might at least Blush--and no longer act the beast.

See, Marcia, now from guardian free, Retailing scandal with her tea;-- Might she not come, nor danger fear From Hamlet's sigh, or Juliet's tear.

The world but acts the player's part[B]-- (So says the motto of their art)-- That world in vice great lengths is gone That fears to see its picture drawn.

[B] _Totus Mundus agit Histrionem.--Freneau's note._

Mere vulgar actors cannot please; The streets supply enough of these; And what can wit or beauty gain When sleepy dullness joins their train?

A State betrays a homely taste, By which the stage is thus disgraced, Where, drest in all the flowers of speech, Dame virtue might her precepts teach.

Let but a dancing bear arrive, A pig, that counts you four, or five-- And Cato, with his moral strain May strive to mend the world in vain.

[391] Published in the _National Gazette_, Nov. 21, 1791, with the following explanation: "The amus.e.m.e.nts of the Theatre were some time since prohibited within the limits of the City of Charleston by an act of the Legislature of the State of South Carolina. In obedience to this act all subsequent dramatic exhibitions were removed to an obscure building in the City of liberties called Harmony Hall. The following stanzas owe their origin to the above edict." Text from the 1809 edition.

TO MEMMIUS[392]

Whoe'er at Court would hope to cut a dash, He must go loaded with some useful trash, Something, sage Dullness, to prolong your reign; All fancy--stuff--all ornament is vain!

Happy the man who plans, by force of steam To drive his boat twelve knots against the stream; Still happier he, who, born to build a bridge, Schemes mighty matters on some river's edge:-- Such to the world the n.o.blest light impart, The first in genius, and the first in art!

Hence, then, ye bards, from our wise court refrain; Wiseacres have forestall'd the present reign: "No empty scribblings we endure at court"

(Cries Publius, poring o'er a dull Report;) "Nothing but useful projects we require, (Cries a new-fangled, self-important 'squire) "Even Churchman, with his chart, will just but do, "Who to the pole will now all art pursue: "For foreign courts have fail'd our men of song, "And trust me, bards, the Muses went along; "Since that bright morn they stept on board their brig, "No Muses here--no Muses are with pig; "Nor 'till their barque shall heave in sight, once more, "Shall one true Muse grow pregnant on this sh.o.r.e!"

Now, had not wayward Fortune fix'd me fast, Firm to a point, that never shall be pa.s.s'd; Did I the smiles of Fortune still pursue, And, Memmius, wish to rise in fame, like you, Were this my scheme, I'd quit at once the sail, And haste to court with compa.s.ses and scale, Quit all the hopes the finer arts bestow, The flowers of fancy, and--no fruits that grow; Indulge that powerful something in the scull That makes us wealthy while it keeps us dull, To the best place ensures a certain claim, The road to fortune, and the road to fame.

[392] This poem is unique, as far as I can discover, in the 1795 edition. The reference to steamboats alludes to Fitch, who at that time was experimenting with steam navigation. In 1790 he completed his fourth boat, which during the summer made regular trips from Philadelphia to Burlington, at the rate of eight miles per hour.

END OF VOLUME II