The Panchronicon - Part 33
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Part 33

"Shakespeare."

"Ay, this Shakespeare hath impudently claimed for his own credit and reputation?"

"Well--why--suffer me--jest wait a minute," said Droop. He clutched the book he had been reading and opened it at random. "Here," he said.

"'Love's Labor's Lost,' for instance."

"What!" exclaimed Bacon, starting indignantly to his feet. "'Tis but a sennight I saw this same dull nonsense played by the Lord Chamberlain's players. 'Love's Labor's--" he broke off and repressed his choler with some effort. Then in a slow, grave voice he continued: "Why, sir, you have been sadly abused. Surely the few essays I have made in the field of letters may stand my warrant that I should not so demean myself as is implied in this repute of me. Pray tell me, sir, who are they that so besmirch my reputation as to impute to my poor authority the pitiful lines of this rascal player?"

"Why, in very truth--marry, it's in that book. It was printed in Chicago."

Bacon glanced contemptuously at the volume without deigning to open it.

"And prithee, Master Droop, where may Chicago be?"

"Why it _was_ in--no! I mean it will be--oh, darn it all! Chicago's in Illinois."

"Illinois--yes--and Illinois?" Bacon's dark eyes were turned in grave question upon his companion.

"Why, that's in America, ye know."

"Oh!" said Bacon. Then, with a sigh of great relief: "Ah!" he exclaimed.

"Yea, verily--in sooth--or--or thereabouts," said Droop, not knowing what to say.

"Ah, in America! A land of heathen savages--red-skinned hunters of men.

Yes--yes! 'Twere not impossible such persons might so misapprehend my powers. 'Twould lie well within their shallow incapacities, methinks, to impute to Francis Bacon, Barrister of Gray's Inn, Member of Parliament for Melcombe, Reversionary Clerk of the Star Chamber, the friend of the Earl of Ess.e.x--to impute to me, I say, these frothings of a villain player--this Shake--eh? What?"

"Shakespeare."

"Ay."

Bacon paced placidly up and down for a few moments, while Droop followed him apologetically with his eyes. Evidently this was a most important personage. It behooved him to conciliate such a power as this. Who could tell! Perhaps this friend of the Earl of Ess.e.x might be the capitalist for whom he was in search.

For some time Master Bacon paced back and forth in silence, evidently wrapped in his own thoughts. In the meantime Droop's hopes rose higher and higher, and at length he could no longer contain himself.

"Why, Master Bacon," he said, "I'm clean surprised--yea, marry, am I--that anybody could hev ben sech a fool--a--eh? Well, a loon--what?--as to hev said you wrote Shakespeare. You're a man o'

science--that's what you are. You don't concern yourself with no trumpery poetry. I can see that stickin' out."

Bacon was startled and examined himself hurriedly.

"What!" he exclaimed, "what is sticking out, friend?"

"Oh, I was jest sayin' it in the sense of the word!" said Droop, apologetically. "What I mean is, it's clear that you're not a triflin'

poet, but a man of science--eh?"

"Why, no. I do claim some capacity in the diviner flights of lyric letters, friend. You are not to despise poetry. Nay--rather contemn those who bring scorn to the name of poet--vain writers for filthy pence--fellows like this same Shakespeare."

"Yes--that's what I meant," said Droop, anxious to come to the point.

"But your high-water mark is science--philosophy--all that. Now, you're somethin' of a capitalist, too, I surmise."

He paused expectant.

"A what, friend?"

"Why, you're in some Trust er other, ain't ye?--Member of Congress--I mean Parlyment--friend of Lord What's-'is-name--Clerk of the Star--suthin' or other. Guess you're pretty middlin' rich, ain't ye?"

Bacon's face grew long at these words, and he seated himself in evident melancholy.

"Why, to speak truth, friend," he said, "I find myself at this moment in serious straits. Indeed, 'tis an affair of a debt that hath driven me thus to your door."

"A debt!" said Droop, his heart sinking.

"Ay. The plain truth is, that at this moment I am followed by two bailiffs--bearers of an execution of arrest upon my person. 'Twas to evade these fellows that I entered this deserted garden, leaving my horse without. 'Tis for this cause I am here. Now, Master Droop, you know the whole truth."

"Great Jonah!" said Droop, helplessly. "But didn't you say you had friends?"

"None better, Master Droop. My uncle is Lord Burleigh--Lord High Treasurer to her Gracious Majesty. My patron is the Earl of Ess.e.x----"

"Why don't they give ye a lift?"

Bacon's face grew graver.

"Ess.e.x is away," he said. "On his return my necessities will be speedily relieved. As for mine uncle, to him have I applied; but his lordship lives in the sunshine of her Majesty's smiles, and he cannot be too sudden in aid of Francis Bacon for fear of losing the Queen's favor else."

"Why so?"

"A long tale of politics, friend. A speech made by me in Parliament in opposing monopolies."

"Oh!" said Droop, dismally. "You're down on monopolies, air ye?"

Bacon turned a wary eye upon his companion.

"Why ask you this?" he said.

"Why, only to--" He paused. "To say sooth," he continued, with sudden resolution, "I want to get a monopoly myself--two or three of 'em. I've got some A1 inventions here, an' I want to get 'em patented. I thought, perhaps, you or your friends might help me."

"Ah!" Bacon exclaimed, with awakening interest. "You seek my influence in furtherance of these designs. Do I apprehend you?"

"That's jest it," said Droop.

"And what would be the--ahem--the recognition which----"

"Why, you'd git a quarter interest in the hull business," said Droop, hopefully. "That is, provided you've got the inflooence, ye know."

"Too slight--too slight for Francis Bacon, Master Droop."

Copernicus thought rapidly for a minute or two. Then he pretended indifference.

"Oh, very good!" he said. "I'll take up with Sir Thomas Thingumbob--What's-'is-name."