He knew very little of it; he had never been much interested in magic as a human, and his interest had been only minimal as a vampire, usually restricted to how to avoid it. But now, as he had to remember five words-five ridiculous little words-he could only despise the whole thing. Why couldn't they simply have cancelled the whole spell?

A light touch to his arm brought his attention to Meghan. She gestured to the piece of heavy parchment he had been clutching since they had left the village. The light of the moon was barely enough for him to distinguish the letters. The image, in his mind, of Gabrielle teaching him how to read was much clearer.

"Got it memorized yet?" Meghan asked.

He nodded. In truth, he had learned the words days before. But as his horse brought him closer and closer to the remains of what had once been his village, he could feel himself becoming increasingly on edge. It wouldn't do at all to travel that far only to forget the five little words that could make all the difference.

"We have to leave the horses here and continue by foot," she announced just as they reached the river and its broken bridge. Their horses and those of the three other humans who had joined them were getting nervous and started refusing to advance, as though sensing what had gone on decades earlier.

Getting off their mounts, they tied them to nearby trees and crossed the river by foot. Erik cast a last glance of goodbye to his horse as he waited for the humans to cross, their movements slowed down by the c.u.mbersome robes they wore. Somehow, it was only now sinking in that he wouldn't be back to this world.

They had left a little after sunset, something about the stars needing to be in a certain alignment. It was full night, now, and Erik was somewhat thankful for the nearly complete darkness, broken only by lightning streaking the sky. He would see enough of the battlefield as it was; he had no desire to see more than he absolutely had to. Therefore, he kept his eyes on the ground as they pa.s.sed through the destroyed village. Even so, the dead were there, silent as the rest of the world was to him, but swirling around him, making their presence known with ghostly touches, and he unconsciously drew his cloak closer around him in an illusion of warmth.

They had told him in what location they would do the spell, but he still felt a shiver run down his spine as they finally reached the ruins of what had been his clan's lair. His home. Somehow, the memories were stronger, here, demanding his attention with a harshness he couldn't ignore.

Memories of helping to build the lair with the men of his village, before they had even known Gabrielle would make a Pact with them. Memories of leading her to it, the night when they had first met; she had climbed down from her horse almost as soon as they had left the village, and had walked next to him the whole way, asking questions and answering his own. Memories of waking up next to her the following night, craving blood and being offered hers. Memories of learning how to fight, how to feed, how to love.

Memories of the lair being expanded even as the clan grew. Memories of finding himself in front of a closed door, one morning, and of being too proud, too hurt to open it. Memories of waiting for three days for his Sire to come back to him, in vain.

He followed the directions of the oldest woman in the group and stood in the center of the square formed by the four humans. Meghan surprised him when she moved forward and pressed a quick peck to his cheek. He caught the 'good luck' on her lips before she stepped back, and he managed to give hera half smile. The humans started talking, their mouths moving in silent unison. Each of them held herbs that they threw at his feet at regular intervals. The scent of them was tickling his nose and he tried to ignore the ritual, focusing instead on the storm that was tearing up the sky. It was, at the same time, a grandiose sight, and a terrible reminder of the battle Erik was going back to fight.

A few minutes and that would be it. He would have a little time to enjoy the presence of people who knew him, cared about him; just long enough to give them a proper goodbye. Then it would be over again.

As the flash of blue light enveloped him, his only regret was that Gabrielle had not changed her mind.

Chapter 17.

+ Two hundred years earlier All day long, Erik paced through the lair, angry, worried, and more determined than ever. The following night, Gabrielle would put her insane plan in motion, and there was nothing he could do to stop it, or her.

She had ordered him to stop fighting her, and rebelling now would be close to suicide. He didn't know if Gabrielle cared so little about him now that she could have staked him if he disobeyed her, but he certainly didn't plan to find out.

There were other ways to rebel, however. Ways that might not be as deadly as an outright confrontation. He intended to ask Gabrielle to free him after the battle, and tradition demanded that he wait to be a Master before siring a Childe, but he had decided not to wait. Despite Gabrielle's rea.s.surances that the demons would never reach the village she was using as bait, Erik couldn't shake off his worry. If demons did manage to approach the village, he refused to leave Catarina without defenses in front of them. And the best way he knew how to protect her was to make her a vampire; give her strength, and as near immortality as she could have.

When night fell at last, he was out of the lair before Gabrielle could give out instructions; he had been doing that a lot, in recent months, and taken to hunting on his own. He had briefly seen Catarina the previous night, and told her he would come to her by nightfall and to wait for him in her small house. She didn't know what plans he had for her, but he knew she would understand; and he hoped, with all that he was, that she would accept. Humans had a right to refuse to be turned, even if very few chose to exert it.

He wasn't sure he would obey her wishes if she did not want him to sire her.

Catarina was smiling when she opened her door to him, and immediately she flung her arms around his neck and kissed him. The knot in his chest loosened a little; maybe he had worried too much.

"Are you taking me out to hunt tonight?" she asked eagerly when he broke off the kiss. He had been teaching her how to fight with a short sword for a few weeks, promising her that she would soon have the occasion to try her new skills while silently hoping she wouldn't need to.

"Not tonight," he said with a weak smile as he drew her to the bed and made her sit next to him. "I need to talk to you."

Her smile slowly vanished as he explained what would go on this night, Gabrielle's Childer retreating in front of demons to make them believe the way was easy to the core of her territory; provided that they acted as they always did, the demons would push further in the following night, and Gabrielle would then fight them with the Primal Forces' help, if everything went as she had planned. "If everything goes as she planned?" Catarina repeated, frowning. "What do you mean, if? Surely Mistress Gabrielle wouldn't risk this if she wasn't sure she would succeed."

A bitter smile twisted Erik's lips; had he ever been so naive, as a human? Had he ever believed so completely in the vampires' ability to protect the villages with which they made Pacts?

Of course he had, he admitted to himself after a short moment. And, deep down, he still did even now.

"Gabrielle is sure of herself," he answered her question. "But I ... I always worry too much, I suppose.

That's why I taught you how to fight, so you could defend yourself if the demons reach the village. And that's why I want to sire you tonight."

She laughed at that, a clear, innocent laugh that said all too clearly she thought he was joking. But as he kept looking at her, she slowly calmed down, and understood.

"You ... you really mean that?" she asked, eyes wide with shock.

"I really do."

"But ... but you're not a Master ... you can't ... can you?"

There was fear in her voice, beyond the shock. But there was also, Erik was sure of it, the hints of hope and excitement he had been wishing for.

"I can," he a.s.sured her, squeezing her hand gently. "If you want me to."

She answered the best way he could have hoped for, by leaning toward him and pressing her lips to his before pulling back shyly.

"Will it hurt?" she asked then, slightly apprehensive.

"A little at first," he conceded, thinking back on his own siring. "But not for long. And then it will feel good, too."

She considered his words for a moment, and then asked, a hint of shyness tinting her words: "Will you be there when I wake up?"

He had to think about that for a few seconds; she wouldn't be rising until the next sundown, which meant that he would need to stay with her the whole time to be there when she woke. He might get in trouble with Gabrielle for not having come back to the lair for a full day right before the battle; then again, she might not even notice.

"I'll be there," he promised. "I'll always be there for you, my Childe."

She smiled at that, and nodded once, giving him the permission he had asked for. Cupping her cheek in his hand, he drew her to him and kissed her cheek, her jaw, her chin before finally coming to her mouth.

He caressed her lips with the tip of his tongue before sliding in to meet hers. He could tell how tense she was despite having agreed to be his Childe, and he tried to soothe her and make her forget her fear. She soon melted into his kiss and relaxed against him when he pulled her down on the bed next to him. She reached for the laces of his breeches but he took her hand away and held it in his, their fingers woventogether. As much as he wanted her, he was too nervous to exchange more than kisses with her before he turned her. His first Childe ... the moment was special; he wondered if Gabrielle had felt the same way, when she had sired him.

He froze at that sudden thought and pulled back a little, unwilling to have his Sire intrude on a moment that was his and Catarina's only. Catarina misinterpreted his movement, and tilted her head to the side, baring her neck to him. She was trembling, he noticed; he remembered he had trembled too.

Leaning down to her neck, he caressed the curve with his lips, practically feeling her blood run so close beneath her skin. Having chosen his spot, he kissed it gently, and then bit down. Catarina cried out, in pain he was sure, but her arms tightened around him rather than push him away. He took long, deep pulls on her blood, feeling her heartbeat, so fast at first, slowly lose its force as he drained her.

"They need to have a little life left in them when you give them your blood," Gabrielle's voice echoed in his mind, and he reluctantly stopped sucking. He had never taken so much at one given time from a human, and the feeling was glorious.

Catarina blinked, oh so slowly, when he sat up and tore into his own wrist. He held the back of her head as she drank a precious few mouthfuls, some of his blood spilling down the corner of her mouth.

He cleaned the spill with a kiss after pulling back his wrist; her heart was so weak, it wouldn't be long, now.

"Will you love me as much as you love her, when I am your Childe?"

Catarina's words were almost inaudible, but as close to her as he was, Erik heard each of them. He stared in shock at her now closed eyes, wondering not how she knew, because she had proved to him, long before, how observant she could be, but rather why she had never mentioned before knowing that he still loved Gabrielle.

Lying down next to her, he buried his face into the crook of her neck and held her close, taking in the heat that was slowly leaving her body. And for the first time-and the last one, he promised himself-he allowed himself to cry over the loss of his Sire.

Chapter 18.

One second, Erik stood in the ruins of his destroyed lair. The next, he was lying down in a bed, a body pressed against his, disoriented and slightly nauseous. Slowly, his vision cleared and focused on the woman in his arms. All at once, he wanted to laugh and sob. He had never imagined that he would come back to his Childe's bed.

She was still sleeping, and he caressed her face with a light finger, rediscovering her features after having come so close to forgetting them. Her eyelids fluttered under his touch, and he watched her open her eyes and look at him, a single word pa.s.sing her lips.

"Sire?"

He couldn't suppress a quiet, delighted laugh at that, the first word he had heard in close to two centuries. "Yes, Childe. Drink."

His own voice sounded strange to his own ears, and he briefly wondered if he would have time to get used to it again before he lost his hearing once more. Chasing the thought away, he offered his neck to Catarina, and she bit without hesitation. In the past he remembered, he had offered her his wrist. But he knew that in a few hours she would die, and it wouldn't change anything for him to offer her such a close connection at least once in her vampire existence.

"I've missed you," he murmured when she drew back, and offered her a small smile.

Her eyes sparkled with amus.e.m.e.nt.

"You've missed me?" she repeated. "Was I gone for that long?"

Swallowing the lump in his throat, he held her closer to him and tried to keep smiling, to keep playing the act. "It felt like centuries."

She kissed his neck right over the bite mark she had created, and Erik shivered. It was a ghost he was talking to, a ghost he was touching; he had to remember that. Nothing he could do would change it.

Nothing he could do would save her, or any of the others.

"I've got to go," he mumbled, steeling his mind and body as he pushed away from her and stood.

"Gabrielle called for an a.s.sembly right after sunset tonight, I'm probably late already."

Sitting up, Catarina looked at him levelly, and he had the clear impression that she could see right through him, to what he wasn't saying, what he couldn't say.

"I can't come, can I?" she asked coolly, and he shook his head.

"Not now. She'll be mad at me when she realizes I sired a Childe. Better not to antagonize her before the battle."

"I want to fight, though," Catarina said after an instant. "Will you let me fight tonight?"

Everything that Erik was, everything that he knew wanted to say no; but he knew that, in the end, nothing he did would change her fate. The Primal Forces would reach out and kill vampires all over the world. It didn't matter whether Catarina fought in the open or remained hidden; she would die before sunrise.

"I will come for you as soon as I can," he promised, and, giving her a last kiss, he walked out of her house and hurried back toward the lair. Toward more ghosts. More pain.

Like a chant, he started whispering the five magic words, focusing on them and only them, as he slipped into the common room and took his place within the semi circle that was waiting for Gabrielle. Another of Gabrielle's oldest Childer, Sondra, standing across from him, threw him a questioning look and broke his focus. He could see her, here and now, head slightly tilted, the merest frown marring her features; yet he could see her as she would be in a few hours, her blood so dark it seemed black covering half her face from the crack in her skull, eyes open and unseeing.

He couldn't help it then. He closed his eyes tight, shutting all of them, all of it out. Gabrielle's youngest Childe at his side and his worried inquiry whether everything was alright, the sudden quiet that fell on theroom as all the members of the clan noticed that something was happening, and the hand closing on his shoulder and squeezing gradually until the pressure became pain.

Physical pain, he could deal with; that, he could fight, unlike the hurt of seeing all these people who didn't know they would soon be dead. He tried to shrug the hand off, opening his eyes again when it did not let go.

"Are you all right?" Gabrielle asked, her hold finally relenting. Standing in front of him, she was giving him a serious look, with none of her usual anger.

Not all soon to be dead, and Erik clung to that idea. Not everyone here would die.

Not everyone.

He would still be alone in the end, but he would at least have fresh memories to sustain him.

"I'm fine," he lied. "Let's get on with it. The night isn't getting any younger."

She threw him a strange glance, but didn't comment further before taking a few steps back and facing her Childer. Everybody already knew their role, but she nonetheless reviewed the plan, where each of them would be, and as names were called, Erik's gaze was drawn to familiar faces he had come close to forgetting. He tried to etch each of them in his mind; he would need their company in the next few hundred years, and memories were the best he would have.

Eventually, his eyes returned to Gabrielle. She directed the meeting with her usual calm and strength, and even if he knew, oh so well, how wrong she was, he couldn't help admiring her confidence before the battle. Her awakening would be rude. Was it because of the shock that, in a few hours, she would f.u.c.k him senseless before leaving him to his solitude for a few decades?

"Well, if everybody knows their role, time to get ready."

Her Childer started flowing out of the room at Gabrielle's words, but Erik didn't move.

"I need a word with the magic group," he stated, his voice as cold and dead as he felt inside.

There was some hesitation and seven of his fellow Childer remained behind. Being the oldest meant that they usually listened to what he had to say, even if they did whatever it was that Gabrielle wanted in the end. Gabrielle watched him, arms crossed and face inscrutable, but she didn't say a word.

Finding a piece of parchment and ink, he scribbled down the five words he had learned so well before giving the note to Aurora, who was going to lead the magic ritual.

"You need to add that to your incantation. Right at the end."

Eyebrows rose as the note pa.s.sed from hand to hand, until it was finally in Gabrielle's hands, who still hadn't said a word. By pure habit, Erik turned to watch Aurora's lips move.

"Since when do you know anything about magic?" she asked, and Erik forgave her slightly snappish tone on account of the too many hours she had spent working on the spell they would use.

"I know what I know," Erik said calmly, meeting her eyes. "And I know that if you don't add thesewords to your spell, it won't work."

"And how do you know that, exactly?" Sondra asked, sounding puzzled but not entirely skeptical.

"I just do," he sighed. "Trust me."

Only silence answered his words. Of course. Why would they believe him? He had claimed for weeks that this was the worse idea Gabrielle had ever had; he had even tried to talk a few of them into outright rebellion.

"Is it likely to mess up the spell in any way?" Gabrielle asked when after a minute or so no one had replied.

A few glances were exchanged, heads shaken, until the magically inclined Childer reached a unanimous conclusion.