THE PREVIOUS FIVE COMMANDMENTS deal with behavior; this one focuses directly on our motives. Author Steve Farrar observes that most people in our culture suffer from the sickness of "affluenza." He's right. Modern advertising is pervasive. It invades our eyes and ears all day every day, and we welcome it! The avalanche of messages convinces us that if we don't have this product or that service we should be the most discontented people who ever lived. And most of these commercials present beautiful people who are thrilled because they've bought new things!

One of the most devastating yet subtle effects of advertising today is that it creates the illusion of an ideal life that is easily attainable by acquisitions. Our expectations for more soon turn to demands, and we resent those who have what we believe we rightly deserve. There's nothing wrong with noticing that others have things we don't have, but we cross the line when we resent them and demand those things for ourselves.

Parents have a G.o.d-given privilege of teaching and modeling for their children to value the things of G.o.d more than material possessions. Whining should never be rewarded. In fact, some parents tell their kids, "Whatever you whine for, you automatically don't get." That solves a lot of problems! And some parents also demonstrate thankfulness for all G.o.d has given them and the joy of giving to others. That's the solution to coveting-a solution all of us can apply.

How would you describe the symptoms of "affluenza"?

What are some specific ways you can overcome the marketing promise of an ideal life?

"If standard of living is your major objective, quality of life almost never improves; but if quality of life is your number one objective, your standard of living almost always improves."-ZIG ZIGLAR

AUGUST 12.

A HEART-TO-HEART TALK.

[The Lord said,] "[Elijah] will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse."

MALACHI 4:6.

TODAY, STUDIES SHOW that 40 percent of children grow up without a father in the home, and another 40 percent have dads who are physically present but emotionally absent. This absence of a father's love and guidance devastates children as much as the plagues devastated Pharaoh and the Egyptians.

In this verse, G.o.d promises to send the prophet Elijah back to earth before the final cataclysm of history. The prophet's role won't be geopolitical. Instead, he'll focus his attention on fathers and their kids. Today, broken marriages, misplaced priorities, addictions, and run-of-the-mill selfishness have ruined countless relationships between fathers and their kids. Many of them want to make changes, but bitterness hardens their hearts and prevents progress. Each one insists, "I'm right, and you're wrong" or "I'm hurt, and it's all your fault." Is there hope to break this deadlock?

Forgiveness is the one and only solution to bitterness, and if one side won't take initiative, the other can. First, we go to G.o.d with the realization of our own sinfulness and our need for His forgiveness. Then, out of full hearts, we choose to forgive those who hurt us. No, it's not easy, but it's the only way to restore the most cherished relationships in our lives.

How have you seen bitterness destroy families?

Is there anyone in your family you need to forgive? First, experience G.o.d's forgiveness, and then choose to forgive those who hurt you.

"The true secret of giving advice is after you have honestly given it to be perfectly indifferent whether it is taken or not, and never persist in trying to set people right."-HANNAH WHITALL SMITH

AUGUST 13.

WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE WEAK

Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

MATTHEW 26:41.

WE CAN LEARN a thing or two from our friends in Alcoholics Anonymous. They are ruthlessly honest about their weaknesses, which led to tragic consequences because they gave in again and again to the temptation to drink. For years, they denied they had a problem, or if they were confronted with it, they said, "Oh, it's no big deal." But it was a big deal. Now, honesty about their weaknesses is the foundation for recovery, growth, and strength.

Most of us don't want to admit we're weak in any way. We try to project that we have it all together, but our bravado makes us vulnerable to temptation in our s.e.xual appet.i.tes, ethics, preoccupation with material possessions, neglect of G.o.d, or a dozen other areas of life.

Jesus told His followers (and us) to avoid temptation by doing two things when weak. First, watch for trouble. We need to be good students of our hearts and our behavior so that we see temptation before it springs its trap. We don't have to be geniuses to notice these things. We can tell when we're thinking more about those things, when they seem more attractive, and when the consequences seem to escape our thoughts. And we can notice the situations (stress, tiredness, conflict, and so forth) that seem to trigger the desire to escape.

Second, Jesus reminded His followers to connect with G.o.d when weak. At those difficult moments, we may think that prayer is the last thing we want to do, but Jesus said it should be high on the list.

When you feel weak, watch and pray.

When you're weak, what temptations do you need to watch for?

When you're weak, do you want to connect with G.o.d? Why or why not?

"If the Holy Spirit guides us, he will do it according to the Scriptures and never contrary to them."-GEORGE MLLER

AUGUST 14.

KEEPING TRACK OF TIME.

See . . . that you walk circ.u.mspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil.

EPHESIANS 5:15-16.

PEOPLE WASTE TIME in two very different ways. We usually a.s.sociate the term with people who procrastinate and don't do the things they're responsible for. "Stop wasting time and get to work!" we tell them. But another, more insidious form is probably more common, yet not as obvious: investing time and energy in the wrong pursuits. We waste time heading down a path of selfish goals with the aim of getting to the top and running over anyone who gets in our way. We waste time by worrying too much about what others think of us, reliving past conversations because we're afraid we said the wrong thing, or projecting our fears into the future. And we waste time when we measure our lives by the fullness of our schedules instead of the richness of our relationships.

Paul reminds us that every minute counts. We are in a cosmic but invisible struggle between the forces of good and evil. Time is one of our greatest resources in this fight. It allows us to connect with our Commander and to carry out His directions. Far too often, though, we don't think of time this way. We just do the same things we've been doing without a moment's a.n.a.lysis.

The goal isn't to be busy. We redeem the time by seeing every moment as a gift from G.o.d to be used to honor Him, to work and live with an eternal purpose in mind, and to have a positive impact on those He loves-which is everybody we see every day.

What are the most common ways you see people wasting time?

How would it change your life to realize that every moment is a gift from G.o.d to be redeemed and used to honor Him?

"I find the doing of the will of G.o.d leaves me no time for disputing about His plans."-GEORGE MACDONALD

AUGUST 15.

NO CONDEMNATION.

There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.

ROMANS 8:1.

WE TEND TO MAKE ONE of two mistakes as we think about our sins: We are either too sensitive to them or not sensitive enough. For some reason, some of us aren't grieved when our selfishness hurts others and pushes G.o.d away. We need the Holy Spirit's light to shine on the damage our sins cause so that we become more sensitive to them.

In this verse, however, Paul is addressing the opposite problem: people who feel oppressive guilt and shame because of their sins. Real guilt focuses on specific sins. G.o.d uses real guilt to remind us that we're forgiven. False guilt, though, consumes our minds and hearts with a generalized, foreboding self-condemnation: I'm a terrible person, and I'll never be any better.

In one of the most glowing statements of fact in the Bible, Paul tells us that believers never have to fear G.o.d's condemnation again. It's over. Done. Gone. Now, G.o.d's arms are open wide, and He pours out His love for His children-even those who are reluctant to believe He loves them. Real guilt is completely forgiven, and false guilt is washed away by the marvelous truth of G.o.d's unconditional acceptance.

If you struggle with false guilt-the nagging, oppressive sense of shame that you're too bad for G.o.d to love you-this is great news! Let the power and beauty of G.o.d's forgiveness sink deep into your heart. It may take a while for the truth to completely uproot all the doubts and shame, but it'll happen. Count on it.

Describe the cause and impact of false guilt in the lives of sensitive people.

How does the truth in this verse address false guilt?

"I have never found any way to undo what Christ has done."-BEN HADEN "I know His promises are true, that He has given me eternal life, and I will spend eternity with Him. It's comforting beyond belief to know that you never have to put a question mark after anything to which G.o.d has put a period."-ZIG ZIGLAR

AUGUST 16.

LIFE'S BIGGEST TEST

I urge you to reaffirm your love to him. For to this end I also wrote, that I might put you to the test, whether you are obedient in all things.

2 CORINTHIANS 2:8-9.

BAD THINGS WERE GOING ON in the church in Corinth-really bad things. s.e.xual sin was rampant, and Paul intended to put an end to it. He wrote a scathing letter instructing the church to discipline a man who had committed a particularly heinous s.e.xual sin. Paul told them to kick him out of the church. A few months later, a report came back that the church had done what he told them to do, and the man had repented! Church leaders, though, weren't sure what to do. Should they keep him out or invite him back into the fold?

Paul's stern demeanor dissolved with the news of the repentant heart. Now, he begged them to accept the man back with open hearts. Forgive him, restore him, and accept him as their brother again. But Paul also gave them a new insight about his intentions: His directive to discipline the sinning brother was a test for the church as much as it was a test for the man. He knew that it would be easier for them to excuse him and act as if his sin were no big deal rather than to blast him and refuse to love him if he repented. But they pa.s.sed the test.

Dealing with others' sins is always a test for us. Will we be firm enough to require change in these people, and will we forgive them if they admit they were wrong? Handling sin is life's biggest test for churches-and for families.

How did your family handle significant sins like addictions, abuse, and rebellion (if they were present in your family)?

Describe the purpose and process of dealing with others' sins.

"If you are not living in the will of G.o.d, you are uncomfortable in the Word of G.o.d."-ZIG ZIGLAR

AUGUST 17.

DOORS OF OPPORTUNITY.

Jesse said to his son David, "Take now for your brothers an ephah of this dried grain and these ten loaves, and run to your brothers at the camp. And carry these ten cheeses to the captain of their thousand, and see how your brothers fare, and bring back news of them."

1 SAMUEL 17:17-18.

WHEN WE THINK OF DAVID, we remember his killing the giant Goliath, honoring his friendship with Jonathan, running from Saul, and uniting the kingdom. We also remember some of his less stellar moments, such as committing adultery and murder. But we often forget how it all got started. David's childhood was not a happy one. Because he was the youngest, David was often overlooked by his parents, who gave preference to his older brothers. Today, we might recommend that David get into therapy, but G.o.d had another way to build confidence in the young man.