Rum ti idity, &c.

Says aw, to a buck in the street, (You may guess he was drest very fine,) "What's that thing that's painted complete?"

Says he, "It is a Valentine."

Says aw, "Do ye knaw what they're for, That they are painted sae smart?"

Then he humm'd and he haw'd like a boar, And said, "To send to your sweetheart."

Rum ti idity, &c.

Then thinks aw to masell, aw'll hae yen, To send to my awn dearest hinny: Aw bowls into the shop like a styen, When out pops a man very skinny: Says he, "Sir, pray what do you want?"

Says aw, "Yen o' them things that's bonny;"

When in comes a chep that did cant, And said, "Aw want one, my dear honey."

Rum ti idity, &c.

That the fellow was Irish I knew, As suin as to speak he began, He luik'd at Valentines not a few, But could not find one to suit Nan: Says he, "Mind, aw will hev the prattiest."

Says aw, "Ye must knaw that you shan't."

Did he think aw'd be content wi' the dirtiest?

Ma sang! aw did both swear and rant.

Rum ti idity, &c.

When he brought me a clout o' the lug, He did it sae frisky and gaily, Says he, "You must know, Mr. Mug, That I'm a stout bit of shillelah."

Aw brought him another as tough, It made a' his cheeks for to rattle; Says he, "I have got quite enough:"

Sae thus we gave ower the brattle.

Rum ti idity, &c.

We went to a yell-house just nigh, For to get a wee sup o' strang yell; And then we came back, by and by, And to luikin at Valentines fell.

And then got as great as could be, And bought Valentines for to fit, man: But aw say, without telling a lee, He met wiv his match in a Pitman.

Rum ti idity, &c.

THE SKIPPER IN THE MIST.

Tune--"Derry down."

Some time since there cam on a very thick fog, In Lunnin some folks were near lost in a bog;-- A bog, you will say, that's an Irish name-- They got knee deep in mud, and that's just all the same.

Derry down, &c.

Now, during the fog, sir, a Newca.s.sel keel Was sailing down Tyne to a ship lying at Shields, The fog cam se thick, skipper off wig and roar'd-- "Aw mun lay by my swape--Geordy, lay by yor oar!

Derry down, &c.

Now, hinnies, my marrows! come tell's what to dee, Aw's frighten'd wor keel will soon drive out to sea!"

So the men an' their skipper, each sat on his b.u.t.tock, An' a council they held, wi' their legs down the huddock.

Derry down, &c.

Says Geordy, "We canna be very far down, With the wash o' my oar, aw hev just touch'd the grund; Cheer up, my awd skipper, put on yor awd wig, We're between the King's Meadows an' Newca.s.sel Brig!"

Derry down, &c.

The skipper, enrag'd, then declar'd he kend better, For at the same time he had smelt the salt water; "And there's Marsden Rock, just within a styen thraw, Aw can see't through the mist, aw'll swear by my reet paw.

Derry down, &c.

The anchor let's drop till the weather it clears, For fear we be nabb'd by the French privateers!"

The anchor was dropt: when the weather clear'd up, They soon moor'd their keel at the awd Javil Group.

Derry down, &c.

The skipper was vex'd, and he curs'd and he swore, That his nose had ne'er led him se far wrang before!

But what most of all did surprise these four people Was, Marsden Rock chang'd into Gateshead Church Steeple!

Derry down, &c.

THE MIRACULOUS WELL;

Or, NEWCASTLE SPAW WATER.[51]

BY R. EMERY.

Tune--"Rory O'More."

A fig for quack doctors, their pills and their stuff, Our neighbours of them have been tir'd long enough; E'en Dinsdale and Croft their pretensions withdraw, And Harrowgate bends to our Newca.s.sel Spaw: The halt and the blind, and the grave and the gay, To drink of the water, in crowds haste away; And gouty old bachelors thither repair, With Jews, Turks, and tailors, its virtues to share.

Hurrah for Newca.s.sel!--Newca.s.sel for me!

Where ale is so prime, and the la.s.ses so free: Your lumps, b.u.mps, and rheumatics vanish like snaw, By one mighty draught of this wonderful Spaw!

One day Cuddy w.i.l.l.y sat down by the spring, And fiddled and sang till he made the Dean ring; Then said to the crowd--My lads, as to the Spaw, Good whisky improves it, aw verra weel knaw!-- But, if you'll be seated, you'll soon hear me sing The magical cures that's performed by this spring:-- He cut an odd caper, and thus he began-- First drinking a quart from a rusty tin-can.

Hurrah for Newca.s.sel! &c.

Awd Humpy-back'd d.i.c.k, and two or three mair, Fra Shiney Raw pit to the Well did repair; He drank of the Spaw, when the hump, in a crack, Dissolv'd and soon vanish'd frae poor d.i.c.ky's back!

Lord bliss us! cried timber-toed tee-total Peg, If it banishes humps, it might bring forth a leg!

She got to the Well, with the Spaw she made free, And very soon after poor Peggy had three!!!

Hurrah for Newca.s.sel! &c.

Pure sanctified Betty scarce knew what to think-- Hard might be her fate if she ventur'd to drink-- For most of the la.s.ses that live in Lang Raw, Have getten the dropsy by tasting the Spaw!

The doctors declare, that at forty weeks' end, 'Twill be in their arms, and the dropsy will mend; The howdies are wishing the time was well o'er, For surely such water was ne'er known before.

Hurrah for Newca.s.sel! &c.

A b.u.mper, cried Cuddy, and toasted the Queen,-- Which soon was responded by all on the green,-- May she have a son soon as big's Johnny Fa'-- (There's virtue in wishing while drinking the Spaw).

So now, my good la.s.ses, gan hyem to your wark-- There's danger in wand'ring the Dean in the dark 'Mang trees and awd quarries--I'd have ye beware, Remember poor Peggy was caught in the snare.

Hurrah for Newca.s.sel! &c.

Footnote 51: Some years ago, a spring of water was observed to ooze from the bank at the foot of Sandyford Dean, to which some people attributed medicinal qualities; but it was not generally noticed till the spring of 1841, when its fame spread abroad, and drew the attention of mult.i.tudes of people to the spot, many of whom being afflicted with complaints of long standing, after drinking freely of this water, declared themselves cured; and some of the faculty proving its qualities by a.n.a.lyzation, gave it a more favourable report, which caused still greater numbers of invalids, &c. to visit the spring--some with casks and cans, others with jugs and bottles, anxiously waiting for a turn.

Whether the benefits said to have been received from this water were real or imaginary, time, the test of all things, will a.s.suredly prove.

THE SKIPPER'S FRIGHT.