Ho'way and aw'll sing thee a tune, man, 'Bout huz seein my Lord at the toon, man: Aw's seer aw was smart, now Aw'll lay thee a quart, now, Nyen them a' cut a dash like Bob Cranky!

When aw pat on maw blue coat that shines sae, Me jacket wi' posies sae fine, sae, Maw sark sic sma' threed, man, Maw pig-tail sae greet, man!

Od smash! what a buck was Bob Cranky!

Blue stockings, white clocks, and reed garters, Yellow breeks, and me shoon wi' lang quarters, Aw myed wor bairns cry, Eh! sarties! ni! ni!

Sic varry fine things had Bob Cranky.

Aw went to au'd Tom's and fand Nancy; Kiv aw, La.s.s, thou's myed to my fancy!

Aw like thou as weel As a stannin pye heel, Ho'way to thee toon wi' Bob Cranky.

As up Jenny's backside we were bangin, Ki' Geordy, How! where are ye gannin?

Wey t' see my Lord Sizes, But ye shanna gan aside us, For ye're not half sae fine as Bob Cranky.

Ki' Geordy, We leeve i' yen raw, wyet, I' yen corf we byeth gan belaw, wyet, At a' things aw've play'd, And to hew, aw'm not flaid, Wi' sic in a chep as Bob Cranky.

Bob hez thee at lowpin and flingin, At the bool, foot-ball, clubby, and swingin: Can ye jump up and shuffle, And cross owre the buckle, When ye dance, like the cliver Bob Cranky.

Thou knaws i' my hoggers and drawers, Aw'm nyen o' your scarters and clawers: Frae the trap door bit laddie T' the spletter his daddie, Nyen handles the pick like Bob Cranky.

Sae, Geordy, od smash my pit sark!

Thou'd best haud thee whisht about wark, Or aw'll sobble thee body, And myek thee nose b.l.o.o.d.y, If thou sets up thee gob to Bob Cranky.

Nan laugh'd--to church we gat without 'im; The great crowd, becrike, how aw hew'd 'em!

Smasht a keel-bully roar'd, Clear the road! whilk's my Lord?

Half sae high as the n.o.ble Bob Cranky.

Aw lup up, and catch'd just a short gliff O' Lord Trials, the Trumpets and Sheriff, Wi' the little bit mannies, Sae fine and sae canny, Ods heft! what a seet for Bob Cranky!

Then away we set off to the yell-hoose, Wiv a few hearty la.s.ses an' fellows: Aw tell'd ower the wig, Sae curl'd and sae big; For nyen saw't sae weel as Bob Cranky.

Aw gat drunk, fit, and kick'd up a racket, Rove me breeks and spoil'd a' me fine jacket; Nan cry'd and she cuddled, Maw hinny thou's fuddled, Ho'way hyem, now me bonny Bob Cranky!

So we stagger'd alang frae the toon, mun, Whiles gannin, whiles byeth fairly down, mun; Smash, a banksman or hewer, No, not a fine viewer, Durst jaw to the n.o.ble Bob Cranky.

What care aw for maw new suit, i' tatters, Twee blaek een--od smash a' sic matters!

When me Lord comes agyen, mun, Aw'll strive, ev'ry byen, mun, To bang a' wor consarn, ki Bob Cranky.

O' the flesh an' breed day, when wor bun, mun, Aw'll buy claes far bonnier thau thou, mun; For, od smash my nyavel!

As lang as wor yebble, Let's keep up the day! ki Bob Cranky.

BOB CRANKY'S LEUM'NATION NEET.

Lord 'Sizes leuks weel in coach shinin', Whese wig wad let Nan's heed an' mine in; But a bonnier seet, Was the Leum'nation neet-- It dazzled the een o' Bob Cranky.

Aboot seven aw gov ower warkin, Gat beard off, and put a white sark on; For Newca.s.slers, thowt aw, Giff they dinna see me braw, Will say 'What a gowk is Bob Cranky!'

A ran to the toon without stoppin', An' fand ilka street like a hoppin; An' the folks stood sae thick, Aw sair wish'd for maw pick, To hew oot a way for Bob Cranky.

The guns then went off frae the Ca.s.sel, Seun windors wur a' in a dazzle; Ilka place was like day, Aw then shouted, 'Hurray!

There's plenty an' peace for Bob Cranky!'

Sum windors had pictures sae bonny!

Wi' sma' lamps aw can't tell how mony; Te count them, aw'm sure, Wad bother the Viewer-- A greater Goggriffer than Cranky.

Aw see'd croons myed o' lamps blue an' reed, Whilk aw wad na like to put on my heed!

'G. P. R.' aw see'd next, For wor Geordy Prince Rex:-- Nyen spelt it sae weel as Bob Cranky.

Sum had anchors of leet high hung up, To shew folk greet Bonny was deun up; But, far as aw see, man, As reet it wad be, man, To leet up the pick o' Bob Cranky.

A leg of meat sed, 'Doon aw's c.u.mmin!'

But sum chep aw suen fand was hummin; For aw stopp'd bit belaw, Haudin oot a lang paw, But mutton cam ne nearer Cranky.

A cask on the Vicar's pump top, man, Markt 'Plenty an' Peace,' gard me stop, man: Thinks aw te mesel, Aw's here get sum yell, But only cau'd waiter gat Cranky.

Bonny, shav'd biv a bear, was then shot, man; And biv Auld Nick weel thump'd in a pot, man; But aw thowt a' the toon Shuddent lick him when doon, Tho' he'd a greet spite to Bob Cranky.

Yen Price had the cream o' the bowl, man, Wi' goold lamps clagg'd close cheek by jowl, man: It was sick a fine seet, Aw could glower'd a' neet, Had fu' been the wame o' Bob Cranky.

Ne mair seed aw till signal gun fired, Out went the leets, an' hyem aw gat, tired: Nan ax'd 'bout Leum'nations, Aw bad her hae patience, An' first fetch sum flesh to Bob Cranky.

Aw tell'd her what news aw had heerd, man, That shuggar was sixpence a pund, man; An' good beef at a groat:-- Then wor Nan clear'd her throat, An' shooted oot, 'Plenty for Cranky!'

'Twas a' lees--for when Nan gang'd te toon, An' for yen pund a sixpence pat doon; Frae shop she was winnin', When Grosser, deuce bin him!

Teuk a' the cheap shuggar frae Cranky.

But gif _Peace_ brings another gran' neet, Aw think folk shou'd hae _Plenty_ te eat: _Singin' hinnies_, aw'm shoor, An' strang yell at the door, Wad better nor candles please Cranky.

Then agyen, what a shem an' a sin!

Te the Pitt dinner nyen ax'd me in: Yet aw work like a Turk, Byeth wi' pick, knife, an' fork-- An' whe's mair a _Pitt.i.te_ nor Cranky.

Or what could ye a' dee without me, When cau'd ice and snaw com aboot ye?

Then sair ye wad shiver, For a' ye're sae cliver, An' lang for the pick o' Bob Cranky!

THE PITMAN'S SKELLYSCOPE.

Oh! Tommy, lad, howay! aw's myek thou full o' play; Aw'm sartin that thou'll byeth skip and lowpy-O: Aw've sic a bonny thing, an' it's myed o' gla.s.s an' tin, An' they say it's nyem's a bonny Gleediscowpy-O.

Skellyscowpy-O, &c.

A gawn alang the Close, a bit laddy c.o.c.k'd his nose, An' was keekin throud' aside the Jabel Growpey-O: Aw fand that he wad sell'd; sae, odsmash! aw'm proud te tell'd!

For twee shillin' bowt his bonny Gleediscowpey-O.