COLONEL.

And has a man betrayed her?

SYLVESTER.

Never. Not likely to.

COLONEL.

That's what's the matter, perhaps?

SYLVESTER.

Her theory is, that boys ought to be girls, and young men should be maids. [_COLONEL throws down the book._] That's how she'd equalize the s.e.xes.

COLONEL.

Pshaw! [_Takes up another book._] "Ye Foolish Virgins!--A Remonstrance--by Victoria Vivash."

SYLVESTER.

Another soul! She's also for equality. Her theory is, that girls should be boys, and maids should be young men. Goes in for latchkeys and that sort of thing.

COLONEL [_throws down the book_].

Bah! [_Takes up a third._] "Naked and Unashamed--A Few Plain Facts and Figures--by Mary Bevan, M.D." Who on earth's she?

SYLVESTER.

One of the plain figures. _She_ comes to our house, too.

COLONEL [_reads_].

"The Physiology of the s.e.xes!" Oh, this eternal babble of the s.e.xes!

[_Throws book down._] Why can't a woman be content to be a woman? What does she want to make a beastly man of herself for?

SYLVESTER.

But my wife isn't a woman.

COLONEL.

None of them are, my boy. A woman, who _is_ a woman, doesn't want to be anything else. These people are a s.e.x of their own, Sylvester. They have invented a new gender. And to think my nephew's one of them!

[_Strides up and down, seizes another antimaca.s.sar and flings it into another corner._

SYLVESTER.

Oh, he's young. Don't despair!

COLONEL.

I don't despair! Do you suppose this folly can continue? Do you imagine that these puffed-up women will not soon burst of their own vanity? Then, the reaction! then will come _our_ turn! Mark my words, Sylvester, there'll be a boom in men!

[_Rubbing his hands._

_Enter GERALD, door in flat._

GERALD.

Good afternoon. I'm sorry to have kept you waiting.

[_Shakes hands with COLONEL._

COLONEL.

Here you are, at last.

GERALD [_shaking hands with SYLVESTER_].

How's Mrs. Sylvester?

SYLVESTER.

I was just going to ask you. You see more of her than I do.

GERALD.

We are collaborating.

COLONEL.

In the Higher Morality?

SYLVESTER.

How are you getting on?

GERALD.

Oh, we are only on the threshold. I finished the first chapter about daybreak.

COLONEL.

That's how you waste the precious hours of night? Gad, sir, when I was your age----

GERALD.