The 'Mind the Paint' Girl - Part 6
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Part 6

There's generally a rumpus in sech cases.

ROPER.

Why, Ma, these tiptop families ought to feel jolly grateful that we're mixing the breed for them a bit. Look at the two lads who've married Gwennie Harker and Maidie Trevail-- Kinterton and Glenroy; and Fawcus-- Sir George Fawcus-- Eva Shafto's husband; they haven't a chin or a forehead between 'em, and their chests are as narrow as a ten-inch plank.

MRS. UPJOHN.

Quite true.

ROPER.

Farncombe himself, _he's_ inclined to be weedy. I maintain it's a grand thing for our English n.o.bs that their slips of sons have taken to marrying young women of the stamp of Maidie Trevail and Gwennie Harker-- or Lil; keen-witted young women full of the joy of life, with strong frames, beautiful hair and fine eyes, and healthy pink gums and big white teeth. Sneer at the Pandora girls! Great Scot, it's my belief that the Pandora girls'll be the salvation of the aristocracy in this country in the long run!

[_CAPTAIN NICHOLAS JEYES lounges in. He is a man of about five-and-thirty, already slightly grey-haired, who has gone to seed.

ROPER sits in the chair in the middle of the room rather guiltily and MRS. UPJOHN puts on a propitiatory grin._

JEYES.

[_Nodding to MRS. UPJOHN and ROPER as he closes the door._] Afternoon, Mrs. Upjohn. How'r'you, Roper?

MRS. UPJOHN.

Ah, Captain!

ROPER.

Hullo, Nicko!

JEYES.

[_Advancing._] Lily not in?

MRS. UPJOHN.

No; she's in Fitzroy Street, settin' to Morgan.

JEYES.

[_Frowning._] Why didn't she ask me to go with her?

MRS. UPJOHN.

Dun'no, I'm sure. She's took Miss Birch.

JEYES.

[_With a grunt._] Oh? [_Looking round._] Flowers.

MRS. UPJOHN.

'Eaps of 'em, ain't there?

ROPER.

[_Jerking his head towards the writing-table._] Yes, and some nice presents over here.

MRS. UPJOHN.

She's beat 'er record this year, Lil 'as, out an' out.

[_JEYES goes to the writing-table and ROPER and MRS. UPJOHN rise and wander away, the former to the conservatory, the latter to the settee by the piano._

JEYES.

[_Scowling at the presents._] Very nice. [_Picking up a case of jewellery._] Ve-ry nice. [_Throwing the case down angrily._] Confound 'em, what the devil do they take her for!

ROPER.

[_At the entrance to the conservatory._] I may remark that one of those gifts is from _me_, Jeyes.

JEYES.

Oh, I'm not alluding to _you_.

ROPER.

[_Stiffly._] Much obliged.

JEYES.

[_Coming forward and addressing MRS. UPJOHN._] I've called in to ask Lily whether she'll come out to supper with me to-night, to Catani's, to celebrate her birthday. Luigi's decorating a table for me specially. Mr. and Mrs. Linthorne'll come, and Jack Wethered. [_To ROPER._] Are you free, Roper? [_MRS. UPJOHN sits uneasily on the settee by the piano and ROPER finds some object to interest him near the tea-table._] I suppose it's no good asking _you_, Mrs. Upjohn?

MRS. UPJOHN.

N-n-o, thank you, Captain, and I-- I'm afraid----

JEYES.

Afraid----?

MRS. UPJOHN.

I'm afraid Lil can't manage it either.

JEYES.

Why not?

MRS. UPJOHN.