_Devil-Tavern_, 1721.

Whene'er a Man has gain'd his Ends, He is encompa.s.s'd by his Friends; But when that Man has lost his All, And wants his Friends, he'as none at all.

In gay Prosperity we see, } That ev'ry one will bend the Knee, } And treat you with their Flattery; } But in a contrary State, } When Gaiety's destroy'd by Fate, } The Man they lov'd before, } ---------------- They hate. }

_In a Bog-House over the Water, at the Spread-Eagle in Bunny in Nottinghamshire._

The nicest Maid, with the whitest Rump, May sit and sh----te, and hear it plump.

_On a Gla.s.s Window in the same Place._

For what did _Venus_ love _Adonis_, But for the Gristle, where no Bone is?

_In a Bog-House at the Nag's-Head in Bradmere._

The greatest Monarch, when a fighting, Looks not so great as I, when sh----ting.

_In the same Place._

Such Places as these, Were made for the Ease Of every Fellow in common; But a Person who writes On the Wall as he sh----tes, Has a Pleasure far greater than Woman.

For he's eas'd in his Body, and pleas'd in his Mind, When he leaves both a T----d and some Verses behind.

_Underwritten._

You are eas'd in your Body, and pleas'd in your Mind, That you leave both a T----d and some Verses behind; But to me, which is worst, I can't tell, on my Word, The reading your Verses, or smelling your T----d.

_From a Church Door._

_On an Eminent Physician's being called out of Church._

Whilst holy Prayers to Heaven were made, One soon was heard, and answer'd too, _Save us from sudden Death_, was said, And strait from Church Sir _H----_ withdrew.

_From the Four Swans at Uxbridge._

There's none but the Vicious, or the Base, That false Reports can trouble or disgrace: The virtuous Man must ever stand secure 'Gainst all the Lies which Falsehood can procure: For a sound Mind or Conscience gives a Peace, Which to Eternity can never cease.

_E. K._

_Underwritten._

D----n your conscientious Rascals; there's so few of them in this Age, that a Man appears singular who is govern'd thereby.

Capt. _T. R._ 1730.

_Rumford, on a Window._

How shall the Man e'er turn to dust Who daily wets his Clay.

_Underwritten._

In Dust he may fly } As Fools gallop by, } And no body can say Nay. }

_The galloping Song, from Newmarket, in the Compa.s.s of the Flute._

[Ill.u.s.tration: Music]

Buxom _Joan_ got on a bald Mare; she rid ramping on to The Fair, with a Whip and Spur.

Such jogging, such flogging, Such splashing, such dashing, was ne'er seen there.

Jolly _Tom_, cry'd out as she Come, thou Monkey Face, Punkey Face, lousey Face, Frouzey Face, hold thy Hand, Make a Stand, thou'lt be down.

No Sooner _Tom._ spoke, but Down comes _Joan_, with her Head and b.u.m up and down, So that her A----se was shown.

Bald Mare ran galloping all the Way home.

_Temple, in a Gentleman's Chambers._

When _Phillis_ wore her brightest Face, All Men rejoic'd in every Grace: Her Patch, her Mein, her Forward Chin, Cry'd, Gentlemen, Pray who'll come in: But now her Wrinkles are come on her, } All Men who ever were upon her, } Cry out, a Fart upon her Honour. }

_C. M._

_On a Wall, at a School in Norwich. In Dog Latin._

_J. Jackson_ currit _plenum sed_ Et laesit meum _magnum ad_.

_R. L._

_The English Translation, Word for Word._

_J. Jackson_ run _full-b.u.t.t_, And hurt my _Great Toe_.

_Written on the Door of two celebrated Milliners._

Within this Place Lives _Minerva_ and _Grace_, An Angel hangs out at the Door; If you rise in the Night, And call for a Light, Then presently down comes a Wh----.

_Angel, at Marlborough. Upon Miss M - - k._