The Man from Home - Part 15
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Part 15

PIKE [quietly]. Look out, the Governor's staff is coming back.

MARIANO [closing the gates and wiping his face]. Lazzaroni!

[At the same time FIRST CARABINIERE enters from right; SECOND CARABINIERE from left.]

SECOND CARABINIERE. Niente!

FIRST CARABINIERE. Niente la!

[The two CARABINIERE cross briskly to each other as they speak, and stand conferring.]

MARIANO. Grazia Dio! He has gone some other place!

PIKE [very casually to VASILI]. You'll have to get a new off front tire, Doc. That one is pretty near gone. Better have Jim, here, put on the spare when he gets through.

[The CARABINIERE beckon to MARIANO and speak to him.]

VASILI [seriously, stepping toward PIKE]. Do you know what you are asking me to do?

PIKE [watching CARABINIERE]. To put on a new tire.

[VASILI, with exclamation and gesture of despair grimly tinged with humor, turns away, greatly disturbed.]

MARIANO [addressing PIKE with an embarra.s.sed bow]. The carabiniere with all excuses beg if you will command the chauffeur to step forth from the automobile.

PIKE. _No_, sir; I worked on that machine myself for three hours. He's got his hands full of nuts and screws and bolts half fastened. If he lays them down now to come out I don't know how long it'll take to get them back in place. We want to get this job finished. [Continues with a plaintive uplift of voice.] This is _serious_! Tell them to go on up Main Street with their Knights of Pythias parade, and come around some day when we haven't got our hands full.

MARIANO [meekly]. I tell them--yes, sir.

[Turns and confers with the CARABINIERE.]

PIKE. It'll be your turn in a minute, Doc; be mighty careful what you say.

MARIANO. Because the chauffeur have been engaged only to-day and have just arrived, the carabiniere ask ten thousand pardons, but inquire how long he have been known to his employer.

[He bows to VASILI with embarra.s.sment.]

PIKE. How long? Why, he was raised on his father's farm.

[He faces VASILI, and stretches his arm out toward him as if for corroboration.]

MARIANO [to VASILI]. Oh, if that is so!

PIKE. It _is_ so; ain't it, Doc?

VASILI [to. MARIANO, with dignity]. You have heard my friend say it.

MARIANO [to VASILI, in a serious undertone]. Monseigneur graciously consents that I reveal his incognito to the carabiniere.

VASILI. Is it necessary?

MARIANO. Otherwise I fear they will not withdraw; they have suspicion.

VASILI [with a gesture of resignation]. Very well, tell them. I rely upon them to preserve my incognito from all others.

MARIANO [bowing deeply]. Monseigneur, they will be discreet.

[Goes up to CARABINIERE and speaks to them.]

PIKE [aside to IVANOFF]. Make a noise--keep busy. [Then with more emphasis.] But don't you unscrew anything!

MARIANO [to VASILI, smiling]. Monseigneur, they withdraw.

[The CARABINIERE, with great deference and gravity, salute VASILI. He returns the salute curtly.]

FIRST CARABINIERE. Mille grazias, Signore!

[MARIANO throws the gates open, the two CARABINIERE go rapidly out, sweeping the crowd away. MARIANO closes the gates.]

PIKE [giving MARIANO a coin]. You're pretty good. MARIANO. It required but the slightest diplomacy, Signore. Thank you, Signore!

[Exit into the hotel.]

PIKE [puzzled]. He must have mesmerized the militia.

VASILI [glancing off]. It is quite safe for the time.

PIKE [going to the car]. It's all right, old man!

[Extends his hand to IVANOFF and helps him up from beneath the machine.]

IVANOFF. I will pray G.o.d for you all my life.

PIKE. Wait till we get you plumb out of the woods.

IVANOFF [to VASILI]. And you, sir, if I could speak my grat.i.tude--

VASILI [crisply]. My American friend yonder has placed himself--and myself--in danger of the penal code of Italy for protecting you. Perhaps you will be so good as to let us know for what we have incriminated ourselves.

IVANOFF [looking at him keenly]. You are a Russian?

PIKE. Don't be afraid--he's only a German.

IVANOFF [bitterly]. The Italian journals call me a brigand, inspired by the Russian legation in Rome. My name is Ivanoff Ivanovitch.

PIKE [rea.s.suringly]. All right, old man!

IVANOFF. I was condemned in Petersburg ten years ago. I was a professor of the languages, a translator in the bureau of the Minister of Finance.

I was a member of the Society of the Blue Fifty, a const.i.tutionalist.