The Man from Archangel - Part 31
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Part 31

It certainly did. Whether it was an accident or whether Tom's innate reckless devilry got the better of him I cannot say. He himself always swore that it was an accident, but at any rate he sent the strongest current of a most powerful battery rattling and crashing through my system. I gave one ear-splitting yell and landed with a single bound into the middle of the room. I was charged with electricity like a Leyden jar. My very hair bristled with it.

"You confounded idiot!" I shouted, shaking my fist in Tom's face. "Isn't it enough to dislocate every bone in my body with your ridiculous resuscitations without ruining my const.i.tution with this thing?" and I gave a vicious kick at the mahogany box. Never was there such a stampede! The inspector of police and the correspondent of the _Chronicle_ sprang down the staircase, followed by the twelve respectable citizens. The landlady crawled under the bed. A lodger who was nursing her baby while she conversed with a neighbour in the street below let the child drop upon her friend's head. In fact Tom might have founded the nucleus of a practice there and then. As it was, his usual presence of mind carried him through. "A miracle!" he yelled from the window. "A miracle! Our friend has been brought back to us; send for a cab." And then _sotto voce_, "For goodness' sake, Jack, behave like a Christian and crawl into bed again. Remember the landlady is in the room and don't go prancing about in your shirt."

"Hang the landlady," said I, "I feel like a lightning conductor--you've ruined me!"

"Poor fellow," cried Tom, once more addressing the crowd, "he is alive, but his intellect is irretrievably affected. He thinks he is a lightning conductor. Make way for the cab. That's right! Now help me to lead him in. He is out of all danger now. He can dress at his hotel. If any of you have any information to give which may throw light upon this case my address is 81 George Street. Remember, Doctor Crabbe, 81 George Street.

Good day, kind friends, good-bye!" And with that he bundled me into the cab to prevent my making any further disclosures, and drove off amid the enthusiastic cheers of the admiring crowd.

I could not stay in Brisport long enough to see the effect of my _coup d'etat_. Tom gave us a champagne supper that night, and the fun was fast and furious, but in the midst of it a telegram from my princ.i.p.al was handed in ordering me to return to Manchester by the next train. I waited long enough to get an early copy of the _Brisport Chronicle_, and beguiled the tedious journey by perusing the glowing account of my mishap. A column and a half was devoted to Dr. Crabbe and the extraordinary effects of electricity upon a drowned man. It ultimately got into some of the London papers, and was gravely commented upon in the _Lancet_.

As to the pecuniary success of our little experiment I can only judge from the following letter from Tom Crabbe, which I transcribe exactly as I received it:

"WHAT HO! MY RESUSCITATED CORPSE,

"You want to know how all goes in Brisport, I suppose. Well, I'll tell you. I'm cutting Markham and Davidson out completely, my boy. The day after our little joke I got a bruised leg (that baby), a cut head (the woman the baby fell upon), an erysipelas, and a bronchitis. Next day a fine rich cancer of Markham's threw him up and came over to me. Also a pneumonia and a man who swallowed a sixpence. I've never had a day since without half a dozen new names on the list, and I'm going to start a trap this week. Just let me know when you are going to set up, and I'll manage to run down, old man, and give you a start in business, if I have to stand on my head in the water-b.u.t.t. Good-bye. Love from the Missus.

"Ever yours, "THOMAS WATERHOUSE CRABBE, "M.B. Edin.

"81 George Street, "Brisport."

THE END

By SIR ARTHUR CONAN DOYLE

_Novels and Stories_

DANGER! _And Other Stories_

THE DOINGS OF RAFFLES HAW

HIS LAST BOW _Some Latin Reminiscences of Sherlock Holmes_

THE BLACK DOCTOR _And Other Tales of Terror and Mystery_

THE MAN FROM ARCHANGEL _And Other Tales of Adventure_

THE CROXLEY MASTER _And Other Tales of the Ring and Camp_

THE GREAT KEINPLATZ EXPERIMENT _And Other Tales of Twilight and the Unseen_

THE LAST OF THE LEGIONS _And Other Tales of Long Ago_

THE DEALINGS OF CAPTAIN SHARKEY _And Other Tales of Pirates_

_On the Life Hereafter_

THE NEW REVELATION THE VITAL MESSAGE THE COMING OF THE FAIRIES THE CASE FOR SPIRIT PHOTOGRAPHY THE WANDERINGS OF A SPIRITUALIST OUR AMERICAN ADVENTURE

_A History of the Great War_

THE BRITISH CAMPAIGN IN FRANCE AND FLANDERS--Six Vols.

_Poems_

THE GUARDS CAME THROUGH