What Simon Hillard desires

Louise repeated the former queens words, but the older woman did not clarify what she meant. To find the answer herself, Louise retraced her memories of the original story, which she had not done in a long time. Simon Hillard was the tragic secondary character who fell hopelessly in love with Stella Lapis and held on his feelings until the end

The original story may have been diverted and events were not the same, but it could not have changed basic human nature. Yes.

Simon Hillards desire.

Louise stared down at the tips of her shoes as she grappled with her thoughts for a moment. A hand clap jolted her from her reverie.

Lets call it a day.

The former queen smiled and called back the pair of cousins. While the servants removed the target and retrieved the extra arrows, Ian and Simon seated themselves on either side of Louise.

Now, dont prey on the poor lamb.

Sorry.

Ian pulled off his gloves and smiled in amusement.

Its a habit.

Habit?

We have a habit of sitting in this order. Were seated by intelligence.

Ian nodded his head as he touched his chin.

You mean we start with Simon and then it gets smaller, right?

The servants burned their glares at Louises back again, and Ian and Simon fought off their looks with frightening expressions of their own.

Youre wrong, Louise Sweeney. Naturally, I have the most intelligent mind.

While Ian boasted of himself, a tray of hot tea was served before them. White steam spiraled from the black tea and drifted in the cold air.

More importantly.

Ian sat back.

I talked to Simon, and we decided we should tell you that were not your clowns.

Did you?

The former queen sounded quite disappointed.

Yes. Unfortunately.

Thats a shame. If youre not my clowns, who will shoot arrows for me?

As Louise watched their conversation, she had a sudden realization.

The two of them are so alike!

Ian and his grandmother were similar not only in the way they spoke, but also in the way that they looked at each other. And perhaps, there was something special in her that resembled Simon Hillard as well.

Come to think of it, there is a simple solution.

The former queen smiled at Louise.

Ill just have Louise Sweeney as my clown.

M-me?

The former queen was surely jesting, but Louise quickly pointed out her inadequacy just in case.

My muscles are not that good.

Theres nothing to worry about. I think you will find the job quite beneficial for you. Four times a year, put your muscles in front of me and shoot arrows.

Beneficial? After thinking for a moment, Louise widened her eyes and let out a gasp. The former queens suggestion was very good indeed. Louise could have an audience in front of the former queen four times a year, and the nobles will start whispering that the Sweeneys had a connection with the royal family. The nobles who took her lightly would know to shrink back.

Louise could barely contain her excitement for being the queens personal clown. All she had to do was learn the bow and work out her muscles. It would be totally worth it.

Ill be a clown with a good back!

Suddenly a hand smothered her mouth. At first she thought it was only Ian, but she realized that Simon was covering her mouth as well. Both of them were frowning disrespectfully at the former queen, and Ian spoke hurriedly.

All of Louise Sweeneys joints and muscles belong to me. We cant make new labor arrangements, so please find another clown somewhere else.

No, what was he talking about? The clown position was hers!

But your worker wants the job?

Ians head shot back towards Louise with a sharp look, as if to warn her that if she became a clown for the former queen, shed be in Hell.

Louise turned her eyes and looked at Simon. To her surprise, he had the same expression on his face. What had they been treated like so far?

Alright, alright. Ill put Louise Sweeneys job on hold for a while.

The two hands that covered Louises mouth pulled away, and a sigh of relief echoed from both sides of her ears.

Because theres something more important than choosing my clown.

The former queens eyes lifted towards Simon.

Simon Hillard.

Yes.

Simon answered in an anxious voice. For some reason, he always seemed to capture the former queens interest.

You wrote an interesting letter to the duke.

You read it

Dont blame your father. I was there by chance when the letter arrived. I was stubborn and took it from him.

Louise glanced at Ian in question if he knew about this letter, but Ian shook his head.

I will support you in your endeavor.

The former queen spoke solemnly. Everything Simon wanted will come true.

Will you accept it?

Simon stared at the former queen, surprised. He couldnt help but be suspicious.

Sweetness mixed with poison.

His fathers words had always guided him in life.

Simon Hillard.

The formers queens strict voice broke through his thoughts again, and Simon finally faced her. He didnt know her intentions, but he knew she was putting him to the test.

I

His instincts told him what to say: deny it, so that no one in the world can look positively on Simon.

You have the same face as that rainy day.

At her words, Simons head turned back toward Louise without him realizing it. The rainy day she meant, he supposed, was when he couldnt bring himself to ask Louise for a relationship. He didnt take the chance to express his mind honestly.

Was it out of kindness to Louise?

Or was it because he was just running away?

Grandmother.

Ian spoke up quietly. He meant for her to explain, but she didnt answer.

I sent a letter to the Duke.

Simons voice was soft as he kept his eyes fixed on the cooling tea.

I wantI want to learn more.

He wanted to expand his horizons after he and Ian graduated and ended their Academy life that winter.

You mean you want to continue going to the Academy? We can arrange that without difficulty.

Simon looked back at Ian and shook his head gently. What he wanted was not just a high level of education.

I asked if I could go to other places to learn about culture, religion and even language.

You mean studying abroad?

Louise chimed in, and Simon nodded.

Wait, youve never said that before!

Well, of course I cant leave.

He remembered his fathers reply in a letter, warning him to be cautious of his behavior.

I must always remain a duke, so in times of emergency I can replace Ian Audmonial.

Simon!

Simon was not allowed to rise above the current Crown Prince. He was simultaneously less than a human being, but also burdened with expectations for the country. It was natural that he wished for an escape, temporary it may be. He wanted just one moment of that, before his breath expired and he disappeared.

I just want a moment where I wont have to give up.

He learned that from Louise, who was the most persistent person he knew.

I

Ians expression twisted. He didnt want Simon to study abroad, but he didnt have the heart to reject his wishes. Ian liked Simon. However, he didnt want to think about life without him.

I respect your choice.

His expression said otherwise.

No matter what you choose, Ill protect you from any harm. Apart from Grandmother.

Will you

Simon hesitated.

Ive already caused enough trouble for Ian and Grandmother.

Very well.

The former queen nodded her head.

I will not stop you if you want to retreat again. It would be fruitless to do so.

She rose from her seat and nodded, and the surrounding servants began to prepare to go back.

Simons hands clenched involuntarily. Sweat began to sweep from his palms holding the armrest, and his heart throbbed painfully in his rib cage. He hadnt decided anything yet. What was the former queens intention? Was it out of goodwill, or was it a temptation to drop Simon into the abyss? The uncertainty gnawing at him made him want to retreat.

If he lost this chance, was there a next for him? But if there was a next, it wouldnt be called a chance in the first placeIt was called chance because it might never come again.