_Wild_. Does she sing Such songs to thee?

_True_. Oh, yes, and constantly.

For such I ever ask her.

_Wild_. Forward minx! [Aside.]

Maids should not sing love-songs to gentlemen!

Think'st neighbour Constance is a girl to love?

_True_. A girl to love?--Ay, and with all her soul!

_Wild_. How know you that?

_True_. I have studied close the s.e.x.

_Wild_. You town-rakes are the devil for the s.e.x! [Aside.]

_True_. Not your most sensitive and serious maid I'd always take for deep impressions. Mind The adage of the bow. The pensive brow I have oft seen bright in wedlock, and anon O'ercast in widowhood; then, bright again.

Ere half the season of the weeds was out; While, in the airy one, I have known one cloud Forerunner of a gloom that ne'er cleared up-- So would it prove with neighbour Constance. Not On superficial grounds she'll ever love; But once she does, the odds are ten to one Her first love is her last!

_Wild_. I wish I ne'er Had come to town! I was a happy man Among my dogs and horses. [Aside.] Hast thou broke Thy pa.s.sion to her?

_True_. Never.

_Wild_. Never?

_True_. No.

I hoped you'd act my proxy there.

_Wild_. I thank you.

_True_. I knew 'twould be a pleasure to you.

_Wild_. Yes; A pleasure!--an unutterable pleasure!

_True_. Thank you! You make my happiness your own.

_Wild_. I do.

_True_. I see you do. Dear Master Wildrake!

Oh, what a blessing is a friend in need!

You'll go and court your neighbour for me?

_Wild_. Yes.

_True_. And says she "nay" at first, you'll press again?

_Wild_. Ay, and again!

_True_. There's one thing I mistrust--yea, most mistrust, That of my poor deserts you'll make too much.

_Wild_. Fear anything but that.

_True_. 'Twere better far You slightly spoke of them.

_Wild_. You think so?

_True_. Yes.

Or rather did not speak of them at all.

_Wild_. You think so?

_True_. Yes.

_Wild_. Then I'll not say a word About them.

_True_. Thank you! A judicious friend Is better than a zealous: you are both!

I see you'll plead my cause as 'twere your own; Then stay in town, and win your neighbour for me; Make me the envy of a score of men That die for her as I do. Make her mine, And when the last "Amen!" declares complete The mystic tying of the holy knot, And 'fore the priest a blushing wife she stands, Be thine the right to claim the second kiss She pays for change from maidenhood to wifehood.

[Goes out.]

_Wild_. Take that thyself! The first be mine, or none!

A man in love with neighbour Constance! Never Dreamed I that such a thing could come to pa.s.s!

Such person, such endowments, such a soul!

I never thought to ask myself before If she were man or woman! Suitors, too, Dying for her! I'll e'en make one among 'em!

Woo her to go to church along with him, And for my pains the privilege to take The second kiss? I'll take the second kiss, And first one too--and last! No man shall touch Her lips but me. I'll ma.s.sacre the man That looks upon her! Yet what chance have I With lovers of the town, whose study 'tis To please your lady belles!--who dress, walk, talk, To hit their tastes--what chance, a country squire Like me? Yet your true fair, I have heard, prefers The man before his coat at any time; And such a one may neighbour Constance be.

I'll show a limb with any of them! Silks I'll wear, nor keep my legs in cases more.

I'll learn to dance town-dances, and frequent Their concerts! Die away at melting strains, Or seem to do so--far the easier thing, And as effective quite; leave naught undone To conquer neighbour Constance.

[Enter LASH.]

_Lash_. Sir.

_Wild_. Well, sir?

_Lash_. So please you, sir, your horse is at the door.

_Wild_. Unsaddle him again and put him up.

And, hark you, get a tailor for me, sir-- The rarest can be found.

_Lash_. The man's below, sir, That owns the mare your worship thought to buy.

_Wild_. Tell him I do not want her, sir.

_Lash_. I vow You will not find her like in Lincolnshire.

_Wild_. Go to! She's spavined.

_Lash_. Sir!