_Sir Wil_. Impediment? She's all appliances!-- And fortune's with me, too! The Widow Green Gives hints to me. The pleasant Widow Green Whose fortieth year, instead of autumn, brings, A second summer in. Odds bodikins, How young she looks! What life is in her eyes!

What ease is in her gait!--while, as she walks, Her waist, still tapering, takes it pliantly!

How lollingly she bears her head withal: On this side now--now that! When enters she A drawing-room, what worlds of gracious things Her curtsey says!--she sinks with such a sway, Greeting on either hand the company, Then slowly rises to her state again!

She is the empress of the card-table!

Her hand and arm!--G.o.ds, did you see her deal-- With curved and pliant wrist dispense the pack, Which, at the touch of her fair fingers fly!

How soft she speaks--how very soft! Her voice Comes melting from her round and swelling throat, Reminding you of sweetest, mellowest things-- Plums, peaches, apricots, and nectarines-- Whose bloom is poor to paint her cheeks and lips.

By Jove, I'll marry!

_True_. You forget, Sir William, I do not know the lady.

_Sir Wil_. Great your loss.

By all the G.o.ds I'll marry!--but my daughter Must needs be married first. She rules my house; Would rule it still, and will not have me wed.

A clever, handsome, darling, forward minx!

When I became a widower, the reins Her mother dropped she caught,--a hoyden girl; Nor, since, would e'er give up; howe'er I strove To coax or catch them from her. One way still Or t'other she would keep them--laugh, pout, plead; Now vanquish me with water, now with fire; Would box my face, and, ere I well could ope My mouth to chide her, stop it with a kiss!

The monkey! What a plague she's to me! How I love her! how I love the Widow Green!

_True_. Then marry her!

_Sir Wil_. I tell thee, first of all Must needs my daughter marry. See I not A hope of that; she nought affects the s.e.x: Comes suitor after suitor--all in vain.

Fast as they bow she curtsies, and says, "Nay!"

Or she, a woman, lacks a woman's heart, Or hath a special taste which none can hit.

_True_. Or taste, perhaps, which is already hit.

_Sir Wil_. Eh!--how?

_True_. Remember you no country friend, Companion of her walks--her squire to church, Her beau whenever she went visiting-- Before she came to town?

_Sir Wil_. No!

_True_. None?--art sure?

No playmate when she was a girl?

_Sir Wil_. O! ay!

That Master Wildrake, I did pray thee go And wait for at the inn; but had forgotten.

Is he come?

_True_. And in the house. Some friends that met him, As he alighted, laid strong hands upon Him, And made him stop for dinner. We had else Been earlier with you.

_Sir Wil_. Ha! I am glad he is come.

_True_. She may be smit with him.

_Sir Wil_. As cat with dog!

_True_. He heard her voice as we did mount the stairs, And darted straight to join her.

_Sir Wil_. You shall see What wondrous calm and harmony take place, When fire meets gunpowder!

_Con_. [Without.] Who sent for you?

What made you come?

_Wild_. [Without.] To see the town, not you! A kiss!

_Con_. I vow I'll not.

_Wild_. I swear you shall.

_Con_. A saucy cub! I vow, I had as lief Your whipper-in had kissed me.

_Sir Wil_. Do you hear?

_True_. I do. Most pleasing discords!

[Enter CONSTANCE and WILDRAKE.]

_Con_. Father, speak To neighbour Wildrake!

_Sir Wil_. Very glad to see him!

_Wild_. I thank you, good Sir William! Give you joy Of your good looks!

_Con_. What, Phoebe!--Phoebe!--Phoebe!

_Sir Wil_. What wantest thou with thy lap-dog?

_Con_. Only, sir, To welcome neighbour Wildrake! What a figure To show himself in town!

_Sir Wil_. Wilt hold thy peace?

_Con_. Yes; if you'll lesson me to hold my laughter!

Wildrake.

_Wild_. Well?

_Con_. Let me walk thee in the Park-- How they would stare at thee!

_Sir Wil_. Wilt ne'er give o'er?

_Wild_. Nay, let her have her way--I heed her not!

Though to more courteous welcome I have right; Although I am neighbour Wildrake! Reason is reason!

_Con_. And right is right! so welcome, neighbour Wildrake, I am very, very, very glad to see you!

Come, for a quarter of an hour we'll e'en Agree together! How do your horses, neighbour?

_Wild_. Pshaw!

_Con_. And your dogs?

_Wild_. Pshaw!