Sometimes, she never wanted to leave. She'd been only half joking when she told Sean that they should tell everyone they were going away for their honeymoon, but come back here and stay locked inside for a week, no interruptions, no work, just them.

Paradise.

Finally, she knew she was tired enough to sleep. She climbed out of the pool, went back inside, set the alarm, and took a quick shower to rinse off the chlorine. When she stepped out, her phone was ringing.

Sean.

He was Skyping her, so she accepted the call and smiled when his handsome face came on screen.

"Hello, princess. Did you just get home?"

"About ten. But I couldn't sleep, so I went swimming."

"I wish I were there," he said wistfully.

"Me, too."

Sean's face froze.

"Are you there?" she asked.

"Yes, the connection is poor. Sorry." Suddenly the screen went black. He said, "I cut off video-we're camping out tonight in the middle of nowhere."

"Is everything okay?"

"About as we expected. You sound tired."

"It's been a long couple of days."

"Do you have any leads?"

"You know how these people operate. You'd be proud of Zach-he's really learned how to weed through the information and pull out nuggets."

"The apprentice becomes the master."

She laughed. God, it felt good to laugh. "He did so well, Noah thinks he can get a warrant for the property management company. It might not yield anything, but if we can get a complete list of their clients and properties, we might be able to find the women and babies."

"If you need any help-if Zach needs help-you know I'll be there."

"Dean Hooper from Sacramento is helping. Noah didn't say it explicitly, but I think Hooper is coming to San Antonio."

"He's brilliant. And I don't say that lightly."

"Hooper suggested to Noah that he bring you in, so I think Noah would be receptive to your help-but you need to find that little boy first."

"Yeah..." His voice trailed off, and Lucy thought she'd lost him.

"Sean?"

"Here. We know where he is, but it's complicated."

"You sound frustrated."

"I am. It's complicated," he repeated.

"Talk to me."

"I want to-I just..." again, he didn't say anything.

"I understand, Sean."

"We're close. But Spade took his son into a dangerous situation. Spade is working for a drug cartel. Madison said he's an accountant, and that's true, but he's also a lawyer. I don't know how deep his involvement goes, and if it'll even be possible to extract him. I just want the kid."

"He took his son into that situation?"

"The kid could be leverage they're using on Spade."

"You don't sound like you believe that."

"I don't. I don't know what to think right now, but the information we've put together tells me that Spade is a willing and proactive partner in whatever is going on." He paused so long that Lucy thought they'd been disconnected.

"Lucy?"

"Right here. I thought I lost you."

"I love you, and I wish I could be there right now to talk to you. I have a lot to explain..."

"I'm listening."

"I-not on the phone."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'll be fine. There's just a lot going on and I wish I were there so we could talk about it."

"I'm always here for you." She paused. "Sean-that's not true. There have been times when I have been so preoccupied with my problems and my job that I forget that you have work that is just as difficult and troublesome. You have always been here for me-and I love you for it. You know that you can talk to me about anything."

"I know I can, Luce-I love you so much. I-I gotta go. We're getting up early, and I need to set up a security trace program on Jesse's game system."

"You're the best, right?"

"Right. Love you." He hung up before Lucy could say another word.

She closed her laptop and turned off the light, but it was a long time before she fell to sleep.

Something was going on with Sean, and she wished she were there to help him.

Sean resisted the urge to hit something-anything. He needed to tell Lucy about Jesse ... but how could he do it over the phone? How could he just tell her, Hey, Lucy, I have a kid.

She needed to know, and he regretted not telling her before he left San Antonio. Why hadn't he? What was he so scared of? That she wouldn't understand? Of course she'd understand! Lucy was the most supportive person he knew. She would always be there for him, just like she said.

But ... he hated that he couldn't talk about this with her now, about how twisted his gut was knowing that his own son didn't know about him.

Call her back.

No way in hell could he tell her now. He needed to be able to touch her, hold her, talk about it without poor connections. He needed to see her face, answer her questions, show her how much he loved her.

And in the back of his mind he feared that maybe Lucy wouldn't understand. That she wouldn't forgive him. That she wouldn't tell him what she really felt.

I can't have children ...

He knew, deep down, that Lucy's inability to conceive was a burden she lived with every day. He hadn't really understood the pain until after her nephew was born and he saw the anguish in her eyes when she looked at the baby. He'd convinced her that he didn't love her less-how could he? She was everything to him. But he knew Lucy better than anyone, knew how she internalized her emotions, how she ached and survived.

What do you really fear?

He didn't know. Dammit, he didn't want her to think she was somehow ... less because he had a kid with another woman. It wasn't like he planned it or knew about it. It had happened, and now he was dealing with the truth twelve years later.

It would be okay. It had to be okay. Lucy would understand. Sean would show her and tell her how much he loved her, and she would understand that he really didn't have a chance to tell her about Jesse before he left, and that telling her over the phone wasn't an option.

It simply wasn't an option.

CHAPTER NINETEEN.

Lucy woke up at dawn. Four hours of sleep. Hardly enough after the last two days, but better than when insomnia plagued her three months ago.

She considered an early-morning swim, but after last night's exercise, she was still physically tired. She went downstairs to Sean's gym and jogged on the treadmill for three miles, working out the kinks and tight muscles, then ran hard for two miles. It helped. By the time she was done, she was starving. She hadn't gone to the store, but a few weeks ago she'd stuck some homemade tamales in the freezer. Who said tamales weren't for breakfast?

She popped them in the oven and went upstairs to shower and dress. By the time she was done, so were the tamales, and she ate two of the three with her morning coffee while reading her email. Carina had sent a message the night before with photos of John Patrick and a note that she and her husband, Nick, would come out a week before the wedding and couldn't wait to see her, Sean, and the house. Which was good, because Sean and Carina hadn't hit it off when they first met. Mostly, Lucy couldn't wait to spend time with her nephew. He'd be nearly five months old by then.

Lucy cleaned up the kitchen, then went upstairs to put on a little makeup, braid her hair, and grab her gun and blazer. She was slipping on her low-heeled boots when the doorbell rang.

Out of habit, she checked the security screen Sean had installed in their bedroom. An attractive blonde stood there, well dressed and obviously upset or angry about something. A neighbor? Maybe. Lucy knew the neighbors to the north, an older retired couple who'd lived in the neighborhood for nearly forty years. Didn't Sean mention a female lawyer across the street? She'd referred a job for Sean at a bank or something.

Lucy went downstairs, cautious but not suspicious. She didn't like always assuming the worst when something unexpected happened. People knocked on doors all the time.

She opened the door. "May I help you?"

"I need to talk to Sean."

"And you are?"

She hesitated, just a minute, before saying, "Madison Spade."

Spade. Sean's ex-girlfriend who'd hired him to find her son and husband. She must be beside herself, and if Sean was deep in the case he might not have had a chance to call. Lucy understood how frustrating that could be. And worrisome.

"Come in," Lucy said. "I'm Lucy Kincaid, Sean's fiancee. Can I get you some coffee?"

She seemed surprised at Lucy's offer. "No, but thank you. I need to talk to Sean and he's not returning my calls."

Lucy led Madison into the living room and motioned for her to take a seat. The woman didn't, but Lucy did to make her feel more comfortable. Madison sat a moment later.

"I have to talk to him now."

"I'm sure he told you that when he's working, there are times he can't call-it may not be safe, he may not have new information. I can assure you that Sean knows what he's doing. Both he and Kane have done this many times."

"But I told him yesterday not to go!"

Lucy was confused. "Why?"

"Carson called me. I spoke to him. I talked to my son. They're fine. They'll be home Friday. Sean should never have gone down there!"

Something odd was going on. "You need to trust that Sean knows what he's doing."

"He hates me. That's why he's doing this."

"He doesn't hate you, Madison." Lucy was generally very good at reading people, but she was the first to admit that complex relationships weren't her specialty.

"And you're being so nice to me. You must be a saint."

"No, but I trust Sean. Could it be he thought your husband was still in trouble? Called you in order to protect you? Sean is good at getting information, maybe your husband was forced to call."

"No, no, that's not it." But Madison didn't look at her. There was definitely something more to whatever was going on. "Sean went because of Jesse. I should never have come here. I was just so worried ... and now my entire life is a mess."

"You're scared. I understand. But your life isn't a mess. Sean and Kane are the best in this business, they will bring back your husband and son, safe." Lucy paused, not sure how much she should say. And she was beginning to worry about Sean as well. They'd spoken last night, and he'd sounded preoccupied, but she expected that. "Sean mentioned your husband may have gotten involved with a shady business deal." That seemed a delicate way to broach it. "Could he have found out that you hired someone to find him? Maybe that's why he called, because he doesn't want anyone knowing where he is until he, well, completes his business. But anytime there are ... less-than-legal business arrangements, everyone is at risk. Sean isn't going to be concerned about what your husband is doing as much as making sure your family is back, safe."

Madison stared at Lucy. "You really don't know Sean, do you?" She stood up and started pacing. "He's doing this as payback. I told him to stand down, and he won't because he's stubborn and angry. He's going to make me pay because of one little secret, one stupid mistake. I will not lose my son to him. He has no legal recourse to take him from me. You have got to talk to him, tell him to leave this alone and forget I ever came here. If he ever once cared for me ... please ... my husband's life-my son's life-depends on it. Please. I'm begging you, Lucy."

Lucy might have been naive about interpersonal relationships, but not this. It was as clear as glass.

"I will talk to him," Lucy heard herself saying as she stood up. The room faded around her, and all she saw was a long tunnel. It was like she was swimming through molasses as she walked Madison to the door. "That is all I can promise."

"Thank you. Really, thank you so much. Tell him if he does this for me, if he leaves this whole thing alone, I'll tell Jesse the truth. On my terms, in my way. I'll tell him everything."

"Okay." Lucy walked Madison to the door, said something she didn't quite remember, and closed it behind her.

On autopilot, Lucy walked to Sean's office. She logged into his computer. Sean was super-security-conscious, but he gave Lucy all his access codes in case she needed "the best computer money can buy," as he said.

She didn't need his computer, except for the fact that all the research he'd done on Carson and Madison Spade would be here.

She didn't need to look far. All she needed was to look at the photograph of Jesse Spade to know that he was Sean's son.