"Faith of my father!" exclaimed the general, releasing his hold of the mule and embracing the stranger, "Tickler, my faithful secretary! is it you?

"Me, and n.o.body else!" rejoined the stranger, who was no less a person than the lost secretary. History affords no record of a greeting between a great general and his secretary half so enthusiastic as that which took place on this occasion. Both were nearly affected to tears; and so anxious were they to relate what had befallen them since they parted, that it seemed as if they could not wait another minute. In short, when one began to speak the other would interrupt, impatient lest he forget something of particular interest. Like sensible gentlemen, feeling that they were too much overcome by the meeting, they agreed to postpone the account of their exploits, and proceed at once to the house of Angelio's parents; for that was the name of the damsel who accompanied Tickler through the grove. "It is but half a league from this," said Tickler, "and as they are poor, but honest people, you will be welcome under their roof, and get such refreshment as I see you stand much in need of." Seeing this friendly meeting between her lover and the stranger, Angelio tripped lightly to where they stood, and with a smile of childlike innocence lighting up her sweet face, held out her hand in token of her friendship. And when the general had acknowledged this with his usual courtesy, she blushed, and shook her head, and placed her right hand to her heart, which was her mute but forcible reply, for not a word of the tongue in which he spoke could she understand.

"And now, general," spoke the critic, "let me lead the mule, and do you accompany Angelio, for I remember your gallantry." Just as this was bringing to life all that vanity for which the general has distinguished himself throughout this history, Mr. Tickler continued: "But pray, how comes it that your excellency is dressed in this strange garb?" Suddenly discovering the condition he was in, he picked up the gown, had it about him in a trice, and was for offering no end of apologies, which Tickler put an end to by a.s.suring him, that although Angelio's blushes were all the results of innocence, she was by no means prudish. And now, having got himself safely rolled up in the priest's gown, the general gallantly proceeded with Angelio to her father's house, followed by the critic, leading the mule. And for what took place when they arrived at that humble abode, the reader is referred to the next chapter.

CHAPTER LIX.

WHICH RELATES A CURIOUS CONVERSATION THAT TOOK PLACE WHEN THEY REACHED THE HOUSE OF ANGELIO'S PARENTS.

As it would be impossible to describe, within the limits to which I am bound as writer of this history, the many curious things that took place when they reached the home of Angelio, I must content myself by stating that the general was cordially received by her aged parents, who set before him the best fare their humble condition afforded, such being the custom of the country. They also hastened to provide for his mule. In short, nothing was left undone that could in any way add to the comfort of man and beast; and though their cabin was built of logs and reeds, more perfect happiness was not to be found under any roof. When then, the general had refreshed himself, Angelio sung to him, brought him flowers, took his hand in her own, and so cheered his drooping spirits that he forthwith commenced, and gave Mr. Tickler an account of all that had befallen him since they parted, not even forgetting to mention the death of old Battle, and the wonderful exploit by which it was brought about; all of which has been truthfully recorded, and need not be repeated here. And when he was finished, he requested Mr.

Tickler to give him an account of how he came to be so comfortably situated. "Honestly, your excellency," replied Mr. Tickler, "though it cannot be said of me that I have faults as a critic, I confess to have weaknesses which are strong in the nature, as it is called; and these weaknesses run to making love, which is a pa.s.sion with me."

"Pray, sir," interrupted the general, with a nod, "remember that men of your profession cannot lay exclusive claim to this, for it is common to the soldier, and indeed the very best proof of his gallantry."

"That may be," resumed the critic, "I know but little of soldiering; though give me the pen and I can fight a good stroke. Seeing that you were bent on having a war, which I saw would result in no end of b.l.o.o.d.y battles. 'Orlando Tickler,' said I to myself, 'to them that likes with the war, and do you keep at a safe distance; for when swords are clashing there's no knowing one minute where a man's head may be the very next.' So while your excellency was surrounded by your generals, and had all your thoughts fixed on conquering the kingdom, I rode my mule into the very grove where we met, intending there to spend the night, proceed to Jolliffee in the morning, and seek my way home as best I could. In truth, I felt my poverty pinching, and I was hungry."

"Two human ills no amount of courage can overcome," rejoined the general, with a patronizing bow.

"It was midnight when I fell asleep, having quenched my thirst, at the spring; but the thought of home seriously disturbed my slumbers.

However, as morning advanced, I got into a deep sleep, from which I awoke when the sun was up; and hearing the voice of Angelio, which floated soft and sweetly through the grove, as she sang a plaintive song, I fancied myself transported into a fairy land. Now, I must tell you that this innocent girl, as I am told by a priest, and know of myself, had a lover who died not long since, and was buried in this grove, at the foot of a palm-tree. And so strong was her affection for him, that she regularly paid her devotions at his grave. The hour chosen for giving this proof of her grief being early morning, she would pluck wild flowers, fresh with dew, and scatter them over his grave, which was all that heaven had spared to heal her wounded heart. She was on one of these errands of devotion, then, when we met. And here I must tell you, that notwithstanding my mule was gone, she was so surprised at seeing me, that to preserve her innocence she would have run terrified to her home, had it not been that I made such signs as convinced her I was no enemy. As her courage returned, I approached cautiously, and soon had the satisfaction to see her sit down upon the trunk of a fallen tree, where we met as hearts moved by true sympathy only can meet. As she spoke in Spanish, I could not understand a word she said; nor could she understand me; but as kindness begets kindness, it soon came to pa.s.s that our affections flowed in one stream; and though the gushing was rapid, it seemed as if the fountain would never dry.

"It may surprise you not a little that this was brought about so suddenly; but if your excellency was as well skilled in these love affairs as he is in directing a great battle, he would have no trouble in understanding it."

"Faith! and I have had some experience in these matters, as my wife Polly can tell you."

"Well," resumed Tickler, "I wiped the tears from her eyes, kissed and kissed her blushing cheeks; and, in truth, offered her so many proofs of my sincerity, that she returned it with three-fold interest. Then she led me to the cabin of her parents, who gave me a warm welcome, and have ever since strove to make my happiness complete. And now, to shorten the story, I will just tell your excellency, that having given such proofs of our affections as none could mistake, a priest was called in, and we were married on the very next morning. And as you will see that Angelio is possessed of charms no critic could possibly resist, I will say here, that from that hour nothing has occured to mar the bright stream of our love, except that Angelio still continues to strew the grave of her first lover with flowers."

"Upon my honor, as a soldier, sir, I never was more delighted in my life. And as the word of a critic is not to be doubted, I take what you say for truth, and am not surprised that you choose this delightful enjoyment in preference to mixing up in the affairs of war," spoke the general, as Mr. Tickler concluded his story. "But pray tell me, sir, have you no tidings of my army?" the general inquired, in a manner so confused as to show that his thoughts had been wandering to his military exploits. "Having lost my kingdom, it would be some relief to know which way my army has strayed."

"That I was going to speak of, but it escaped me. You must know, then, that a priest came in a few days ago, (and he is no liar!) and reported that 'these vagabonds,' meaning your excellency's army, were scattered all over the country, and were in a sad plight, many of them dying of hunger."

"Good enough for them!" replied the general, to Mr. Tickler's utter astonishment. "And if every general be not hanged before he gets out of the country, then you may set it down that the devil is on their side; for it was by their disorders I lost my kingdom."

"What! and has your excellency given up the command of his army?"

"Honestly, friend Tickler, though I have a rare talent for commanding, I would defy the devil to keep order in this army sent me by Glenmoregain. As for the kingdom, I resign that like an honorable man: and if this ambitious gentleman wants it still, let him employ another general, for I am resolved to get home where peace reigns, and I can go to bed without fear of being hanged in the morning. Yes, sir, I am resolved to wash my hands of all these vanities, and employ whatever means will carry me quickest out of the country."

"By the saints, general, it has never been my good fortune to hear you talk so sensible. And if you will just come into the garden you shall know more of my inclinations in this matter." They now sallied out into the garden and took seats beneath some pomegranate trees, the night being clear, and the moon shedding a bright light over the landscape. Feeling sure no one would overhear him, Mr. Tickler said to the general: "I would have you know, sir, that nothing would so grieve me as to break faith with my Angelio. But how can a man brought up to the excitements of New York life content himself in a desert, where there is neither opera nor b.a.l.l.s to go to? And though my love for Angelio knows no bounds, there are damsels at home for whom I have a curious longing. Since, then, you are resolved to get out of the country, I will give it out that I am resolved to accompany you to Jolliffee, promising to return when I have seen you safe on your journey. And when we are there, seeing that it will be no difficult matter for Angelio to get another lover, I will keep your excellency company to New York."

"Honestly, friend Tickler," replied the general, "I see you are a great rogue, and no exception to your calling. Albeit, if you choose to leave so kind a damsel, and have no fear of her heart and your own reputation, why, so let it be." And now, scrupulously as I respect the high honor which rules among critics in general, my love for truth constrains me here to record, notwithstanding it may do serious damage to the literary reputation of this history, that this colloquy ended with arranging a plan by which Mr. Tickler was to betray Angelio, and leave her the wreck of a broken heart.

For three days, then, did General Potter enjoy the hospitalities of this humble cottage, Angelio cutting up the priest's gown and making it into raiment, which she saw he stood much in need of. She likewise busied herself in preparing food for their refreshment on the road, for the husband in whom she placed so much trust, and whose promise, as conveyed to her by the priest, she held as sacred, had discovered to her his intention to bear the general company as far as Jolliffee. Early on the following morning, then, having completed their arrangements, Mr. Tickler kissed and took a fond leave of his Angelio, mounted his mule, and left her, never to return. In another minute they were coursing down the road on their journey, Angelio and her parents offering up prayers for their safety.

CHAPTER LX.

THE LAST AND MOST CURIOUS CHAPTER IN "THIS EVENTFUL HISTORY."

MANY strange and unforeseen events have overtaken and seriously damaged the prospects of various great monarchs, and indeed nipped their career in the very bud. At least, so it is written in history.

But I venture to a.s.sert, that never until the history of General Roger Sherman Potter was given to the world, could there be found any record of a great monarch who had ruled supreme over a kingdom, won battles such as mankind never had dreamed of, and indeed gained so much glory that every general in the nation was envious of it, escaping, on a mule, from the country he had conquered, and leaving his army to the devil and the enemy. Your exacting critic may say, there is Napoleon! But I would have him bear in mind, that while Napoleon sent terror to the very heart of nations, the presence of General Potter was a sign of feasting and merriment, which things are blessings, mankind stand much in need of.

But why do I thus give way to my giddy brain? Why, too, should I thus rudely abandon my hero when on his return to the land where he drew his first breath, carrying with him no less than a mult.i.tude of laurels? Nay! though my few remaining locks are silvered with the frosts of four-score winters, and my almost palsied hand refuses to render me further service, I will not thus leave him to his fate.

Having been ruler over Kalorama, I am sensitive of his virtues, and would give the world rather than have him damage his reputation. To enter New York, then, with his glories yet moist upon his garments, and give himself up to the follies of those who follow the trade of setting up heroes, would be to consign himself to an oblivion no man need envy. Being of a humane turn, I am resolved this shall not be, though it were necessary to invoke the power of the saints to prevent it.

In resuming, then, I will merely mention that General Potter and the critic arrived safe at Jolliffee, the former feeling a regret now and then for the loss of his kingdom, and the latter scarcely giving a thought to his Angelio. And, as heaven favors the vanquished, so they found in the harbor of Jolliffe a brig, which had therein sought shelter from a storm. Taking advantage of this fortunate circ.u.mstance-for the brig was bound to New York-they sold their mules, and with the price nicely in their pockets, proceeded on board and demanded pa.s.sage for charity's sake. And when they discovered what manner of men they were, the captain treated them with great consideration, and not only gave them of his best cheer, but was delighted at the chance of doing so kind an act as that of rescuing them from the clutches of the enemy and conveying them safely to their homes. He also shared his wardrobe with the general; but all his efforts to cheer his drooping spirits failed. The loss of his kingdom was no trifling matter; but the sufferings he had endured cured him of his ambition for worldly glories. And although the pa.s.sage to New York was long and tedious, he would sit for hours, alone, and without exchanging a word with any one. Then again he would mutter to himself, "Worldly grandeurs-oh! what are they?

G.o.d disposes all things! perhaps I did not deserve the kingdom; and so His will be done." Again he would sit gazing for hours at the stars, and sigh as if the cares of his forlorn heart were too heavy for him to bear.

I remember that once, during one of these reveries, he called Mr.

Tickler to him, saying, "Remember, my trusty friend, I do not mourn the loss of this kingdom because I am weak at heart, but that it is natural for a man to reflect on his losses. All I now ask is that heaven will save me from a watery grave, and see me safe home to my wife Polly."

When they arrived at New York it turned out that divers newspapers had made great victories of all his reverses. And this so delighted his whole host of admirers that no sooner had the news of his return got noised about than they ran mad to meet him, discharged numerous cannons, and indeed made so many demonstrations of joy that the whole city was on tip-toe to see him, and not a few otherwise sensible persons would have exchanged all their worldly goods for even a thread of his garments. A committee of faded heroes and highly flushed aldermen rushed to the Battery to pay him homage, and would have had him drawn through the city by the lean horses I have before described. But unlike another great hero I have in my eye, he yielded to the promptings of his modesty, took leave of Mr. Tickler with tears in his eyes, and with a little bundle under his arm, landed and walked quietly away. In fine, (and with reverence do I record it here to his credit) he shook his head, and when the committee of honor pressed upon him and seemed resolved that he should undergo no few ceremonies, he turned and addressed them thus: "Let me to my peace, gentlemen, for I am no fool. And if you be good and honest men, disturb not the peace of the community in this manner, but get to your homes; and if you cannot comfort your families, give what you can to the poor, and heaven will forgive you for your follies." Indeed, so firmly was he resolved to wash his hands of the world that no force of argument could have induced him to call upon Glenmoregain, whom he felt in his heart would be grievously disappointed that he had not returned with his pockets stuffed full of kingdoms.

And now, at early dawn of a November morning, a short, fat man, in tight-fitting garments and the hat of a priest, might have been seen stepping from on board a small schooner just arrived at Barnstable.

His face was covered with a thick, coa.r.s.e beard, his countenance wore a dejected air, and his raiment, if the hat be excepted, was shabby enough for a professional mountebank out of business. A chilly wind and a drizzling rain filled the heavens with gloom; mist-clouds rolled over the land; a gray fog trailed lazily along the harbor; the scudding clouds vaulted along the heavens as if driven by the furies; and, indeed, the drenched earth was bespread with a pall of gloom.

The dejected man-for such he seemed-adjusted the little bundle under his arm, looked confusedly upon each object that met his eye, and then picked his way, shivering, over the muddy road into the outskirts of the town, which was yet in a sound sleep. He was soon wet to the skin, and the great rain-drops that fell from his broad-brimmed hat added to the forlornness of his condition. The ducks by the roadside ran to their ponds quacking as he approached; and even the geese seemed to pity his condition, for they awoke to gabble him out a salutation, and having shook their feathers, they would sail in the same direction, so long as there was water, and then take leave of him with a loud gabbling. But this homage brought him no consolation: indeed, the bleak earth seemed sending a deeper chill to his heart; and the brown leaf that hung twirling and dripping from the almost naked tree by the roadside, invested his feelings with a deeper melancholy, for in it he read the sorrows of a dead summer.

Halting at the door of a little house, the roof overgrown with black moss, the windows filled with rags, and poverty written upon every shingle, he stood for several seconds hesitating and shivering. Now he fixed his eyes upon the ground and seemed giving his thoughts to the music of the rain-drops; now he turned his eyes sorrowfully upward, as if contemplating the driving clouds. And while I a.s.sert that not even the most keen-eyed observer of human things would have detected in this forlorn sojourner a professional warrior returning from the scene of endless victories, and now out of business, the reader, I am sure, will not be surprised when I inform him that this drenched traveler was no less a person than General Roger Sherman Potter, commonly called Roger Potter, the like of whose exploits modern history bears no record.

Having done ample penance in the storm, he shook the rain from his hat and knocked timidly at the door, to which he placed his ear and listened, as if counting with great exactness every second that intervened between its opening. Presently a little window at the side opened and a lean but well-browned face, framed in the grim border of a dusky night-cap, protruded. Then a sharp, shrill voice inquired, "Who's there?"

"Heaven be blessed, Polly, it is your husband Roger!" replied the traveler, as the words faltered in his chattering teeth.

Exclamations of joy so various that they have entirely escaped the writer of this history, followed this glad announcement. Thrice the good woman invoked the blessings of the angels; and, in truth, so bent did she seem on going mad with joy, that it was not for several minutes that she bethought herself of opening the door. But when she did, not a second elapsed until they were in each other's arms, unburdening their affections in kisses and such other tokens of the deep seated love they bore each other, that for minutes, and even hours, it seemed impossible they could survive their joys, which I here confess (lest some critic set me down for a malicious writer,) ran into tears, such being the most pious proof of perfect happiness.

When, then, they had wiped away their tears of joy, and were more composed, the good woman, having bid Roger be seated, said, "A merciful providence, dear Roger, must have hovered over all your undertakings, or you could not have gained them kingdoms you described in your letter-"

"Umph!" returned Roger, hanging down and shaking his head, "the kingdoms would be well enough if they did not slip so easily through one's fingers. And what is more, dear Polly, I have come to know that there is only one kingdom an honest man need have a longing for, which is the Kingdom of Heaven. Therefore, I am resolved for the rest of my days to covet no other."

"But you talk strangely, husband; for I can vow of my own knowledge that you would not have conquered all them kingdoms without bringing home cart-loads of gold. We have had a terrible struggle for bread, dear husband!"

"You surprise me, Polly! did I not send you a purse full of doubloons not long since?"