OF THE MEETING BETWEEN THE GENERAL AND HIS SECRETARY, WHO RELATES AN AFFAIR OF GALLANTRY THAT HAD WELL-NIGH COST HIM HIS LIFE; ALSO, OF THE DEPARTURE FOR KALORAMA.

"TICKLER! my faithful secretary, the friend and companion of my future fortunes!" exclaimed the general, embracing the trembling Tickler as he entered the room somewhat timidly. And after shaking him warmly by the hand he ordered two punches, over which he promised to give him an account of the anxiety he had suffered at his absence, and which might have proved a serious affair to the nation.

"By my honor, general," replied Tickler, fingering his beard, and looking somewhat confused, "your kindness is as unexpected as I know it is sincere. And if you say the punches, it is as you say. It is to ask your forgiveness I came, and here you offer me proofs that I have not even incurred your displeasure."

"Mercy and courtesy, friend Tickler, belong to our profession,"

interrupted the general, elongating his body, placing his thumbs in the arm-holes of his waistcoat, and striding twice or thrice across the room. "I feared you were dead, friend Tickler. And it might look suspicious," he resumed. "But you are alive, and I am glad enough of it." The punches now smoked upon the table; and as the general drew up his chair beside the secretary, that functionary began to relate the cause of his absence. "I got safe into Baltimore, you see, and having no more fears of the finger-taps of sheriffs, was quietly wending my way for the Gilmore House, and had reached a fine old mansion that stood a little from the street, when my attention was attracted by a voice singing so sweetly that I became like one transfixed, for the strains seemed melting my very heart. And you know, general, that it's no hard matter to melt the heart of an Irish gentleman. The voice sounded like one I had heard before, and I paused, and listened, and wondered whose it could be, and suddenly it ceased. I turned to gaze in the direction from whence the music came, and there saw, through an open window, a girl of such exquisite beauty that I felt like getting upon my knees and worshipping her as the idol of love. During the pause she sat at a piano motioning her fan, and with so much grace and delicacy that even a Castilian could not have excelled it. Her complexion was like alabaster, her features of Grecian cast, and as regular as if they had been chiseled. And these charms were made more bewitching by the luxuriant tresses of black hair that hung carelessly down upon her broad, white shoulders. The thought that I had seen her before almost crazed me. Then suddenly her delicate fingers tripped over the keys of the piano, and she struck up a song, the words of which I have not now at my tongue's end, but which I remember said a deal about hope, anguish, and hearts that were true. Something also was said about the cold marble, and withered hopes. I may say, sir, that it bore a strong resemblance to songs I have heard sung by lovers in my own country,-"

"Pray proceed with what came of the lady," interrupted the general, impatiently.

"Why, sir, she sang this song so sweetly that the very air seemed filled with melody, and I fancied myself either in Limerick or Paradise. After gazing in admiration of her for several minutes, she turned her eyes toward me; and as she did so, 'Heavens!' says I, 'there's Linda Mortimor!' And if you would know who this Linda Mortimor is, listen and I will tell you. Her father was a merchant of New York, of princely fortune and good ancestry. And this fortune, together with his pride, he was resolved never to let get beyond the narrow limits of a circle of distant but equally fortunate relatives. But Linda, who was just budding into her seventeenth summer, let her affections fall upon an opera singer, a tenor of the name of Leon Benoni, who had some fame in his profession, and was likewise a man of good morals, which is rare with such gentlemen. I had known Leon for many years, and between us there existed a strong friendship. And as he returned Linda's affections with a love so impa.s.sioned that he swore death only could separate them, I promised to render him such service as he might need in an emergency. The possession of a girl so pure, so tender in years, and yet so beautiful, was a prize Leon would have braved death to gain."

The general, more impatient than ever, again interrupted by enjoining Mr. Tickler to stick to Linda, and omit what Leon said.

"When you have two lovers in a story," returned the critic, "you cannot well get along with what one said: you must fetch them along together."

"That may be your New York fashion," interpolated the general; "but I know one Joe Doane, of Barnstable, who had a whole year of love stories in his head, and got along well enough with one lover to a story."

These remarks somewhat displeased the secretary, who gave vent to his feelings in certain upward turns of his short nose. In truth, he was well-nigh ending the love story on the spot; for he cursed in his heart the stupidity of a gentleman of such shallow tastes that he would only have one lover in so good a story. But he bethought himself that now they were both high officials, he must show proper deference to his superior. "If you would have love stories," pursued the critic, with an air of regained pride, "pray take them in their natural state, and not as they are made by popular novelists, who get all sorts of murders into them. As to this young couple, seeing that Heaven (which forms destinies,) had ordered their love to run one way, I arranged their interviews, and so managed the exchange of their communications that they had pledged their affections in eternal constancy for months before the affair reached the ears of Linda's parents. And when it did, a great excitement was got up against Leon, who was charged with various crimes against the dignity of the family; indeed, so far was their indignation carried that several ambitious members of the family threatened him with no few ounces of cold lead. Opera singing was, at best, they said, but a shabby occupation, followed only by such trifling foreigners as had nothing else to do, and were wisely kept outside the pale of society.

"Leon then was cruelly separated from Linda, whose hard-hearted parents had her locked up in her chamber, where she remained seven months writing her grief in verses of such rare sentiment and purity of style that I doubt if Byron has anything to excel them. But finding that her love for Leon was incurable, and that the confinement was producing insanity of mind, her father thought to affect a remedy by offering Leon ten thousand dollars to quit the country. This he spurned, bidding the father give his money to him who measured the soul of man by its value.

"Linda's only companion during the confinement, was a pet canary, which she had trained to convey messages across the street, and into the window of a chamber occupied by one Minnie Rush, a companion and schoolmate, and one to whom she could intrust the secrets of her heart with explicit confidence. Through this medium then she discovered the place of her confinement to Leon, for whom I arranged a plan of scaling her prison and carrying her away. And this plan we undertook to execute of a dark night in November, when a pelting storm drenched the earth with rain, and the wind howled, and all the adverse elements seemed to have combined to complete the fury of the tempest. Linda was prepared, and paced her room with curious hopes and antic.i.p.ations swelling her heart, and even filling her eyes with tears. When the clock struck twelve, we had, by dint of great exertion, got the ladder to Linda's window in the third story. And as Leon commenced ascending, Linda slowly opened the window. Fiercer and fiercer their throbbing hearts began beating; each second seemed an hour; and although the storm howled piteously, anxiety had so sharpened their senses that they distinctly heard the slightest movement. Quickening his pace as he advanced, and thinking only of the prize he would rescue from its prison, he was well nigh the top of the ladder. Another minute and the two lovers would have been clasped in each other's arms. Not a thought would have been wasted on the hard-hearted father; Leon would have borne the darling of his heart away in triumph! But lo! a crash was heard; the ladder yielded to the gale, and Leon, who was a man of much weight and circ.u.mference, fell to the ground with a broken leg. 'A pretty pickle you'r in now, Orlando Tickler,' says I to myself. But to make the matter worse, the ladder fell also, and so great was the noise that the father of Linda and two friends rushed out of the house in their night clothes, and with pistols in their hands. Seeing the cause of the disturbance, they at once gave chase after me; and though I would have stood by Leon until death separated us, it came into my mind that getting away as fast as possible would be the best service I could render him, seeing that it would afford him an opportunity to creep away into some hiding-place.

"I must not forget to tell you, general, that although I am a fleet-footed man, so closely was I pursued that I received not less than three shots in the skirts of my coat, and had been a dead man, but that two good-natured policemen came up, and stopping the enraged father, bid him give an account of himself; for they were unaccustomed to seeing gentlemen run naked in such a storm, armed with pistols. This enabled me to reach a place of safety. But the thought struck me that they would return and make search for Leon. I therefore followed them at a stealthy pace and at a safe distance for myself. Leon had crawled through a little gate and into a garden close by, where he found a shelter beneath some larch bushes, and was safe from the vengeance of his pursuers, who several times pa.s.sed and re-pa.s.sed within a few feet of him. The wreck of the ladder was all that greeted their eyes.

"When then the father and his friends returned disappointed to the house, I approached the policemen, and giving them an account of the affair and a few dollars, soon secured their good services. In truth, sir, they declared by their truncheons that if they had been let into the secret a little earlier the hard-hearted old parent had been locked up in the station house, and made to give an account of himself, and, perhaps, to pay dearly for being caught in a plight so dangerous to the peace of the neighborhood. They, however, kindly a.s.sisted in getting a carriage, in which Leon was got to his home, where he remained seven weeks without singing a note, and suffering much in mind, as well as body. And when he recovered, it was only to find that Linda was gone-had been carried away, and no one could tell him the place of her concealment. Thus forlorn, he gave himself up in despair, and came near dying of a broken heart, though he was attended by three physicians. But the post-man brought him a letter one day, and a timely letter it was; for by it Linda informed Leon that she was in Madrid with her father, which caused him so much joy that I had fears lest it derange his understanding. But a cloud came over his joy when she told him that such was the surveillance she was under that her life seemed a mere continuation of wretchedness.

And while she still declared her love was unchanged, she artfully added that her father had so modified his opinions of foreigners as to press a suit between her and a Spanish Count, of whom it was said that he possessed estates in Arragon. This news seriously affected Leon, who was of an impulsive temper, and quick to give himself up to grief; for he knew what strange changes time and distance works in the mind of a young, ardent girl like Linda. He knew, too, how difficult a thing it was to resist the fascinating manners of the courtly Spaniard. All these things caused him to sorrow, and this sorrow so fed upon his heart that he resolved to get to Madrid with all speed and rescue her from so tyrannical a parent, though it cost him his life. But he was suddenly taken sick of a fever, which, in addition to well-nigh carrying him to the grave, left his intellect in a deranged state, and so reduced him in body that his friends resolved he had only a month or so more for this world. I had watched over Leon, and but for my poverty would have remained by his bedside until death separated us. It was my necessities, sir, that compelled me to join you.--"

"By my honor, friend Tickler," interrupted the general, approvingly, "I will now swear you make a good soldier; for such faith is rarely met outside of the profession to which I belong."

"As to that," resumed Mr. Tickler, "your great experience in these matters must make you the better judge. It then got (I turn now to Linda and Leon) into the papers that Leon was dead. And though I know not by what process this was effected, I can tell you that many obituaries were written in respect of him. Seeing that he had been so honorably disposed of by the editors, Leon held it better not to contradict the report, but as soon as he was in possession of sufficient strength, to leave in disguise for the scene where he would welcome death or win the prize for which his heart yearned.

"Judge, then, of my surprise when I recognized Linda in the lovely creature who played with so much skill, and sang so sweetly. Our recognition was mutual, for I stood where the shadow of the moonbeams played over my face. 'Heavens!' says I, 'how can I rescue her?' I saw she was not free, but rather the victim of a heart burdened with cares. My next thought was how to communicate with her. I retired to a little cottage close by, where I wrote a note on tissue paper, proposing an appointment on the following day, and secured it to the stem of a rosebud. Then I found a poor woman, a Savoyard, playing on her harp in the street; and having read that these women were accustomed to performing such parts for the rich lovers of their own country, I engaged her to play under the window until she had so attracted the attention of Linda as to make her understand by signs what was in the bud. This she engaged to do in a manner that would make success certain. She then repaired to the task; and having played several airs from the opera of Linda of Chamouni with great artistic skill, soon brought Linda to the window, where she at first listened as if she were taking lessons of a master, but soon changed her listening to surprise at the singular signs made by the woman between the airs. The mystery was dissolved when I again appeared at the front gate and stood in the shadow of the moonbeams. Linda declared she would not be content until the poor Savoyard was got into the house, averring that as she had never before heard such exquisite playing, she was anxious to ask the woman some questions concerning her history. To please Linda, then, she was got into the house, where, embracing a favorable moment, she slipped the bud into Linda's hand. I had suggested a place of meeting at twelve o'clock on the following day; and I leave to your conjecture what took place up to that time. Let me tell you, then, that she escaped from the house through the aid of a faithful servant, and we met, exchanged our joys as never did brother and sister; yes, we unburdened our hearts and gave each other accounts of all that had pa.s.sed since the night Leon attempted to rescue her from her chamber.

"Linda had not been to Madrid, but Cuba; and the letter to Leon was nothing more than a cruel fabrication of her parents, who had persuaded her that he was dead, and produced papers recording his death in proof of their declarations. When I discovered to her that Leon was still alive, she fell upon her knees and beseeched me to speed with her to him. I knew and felt my duty to the nation; but the request of this lovely girl was something the gallantry of my soul could not refuse."

The general, who had listened attentively while sipping his punch, interrupted, saying, "I reverence your magnanimity, young man, and am glad to see that you had no thought of appropriating the prize to yourself. I am glad, too, that you had an eye to how much the nation might suffer by this love affair."

"Says I to myself," resumed the secretary, "'Orlando Tickler! now it's between the nation and this fair girl-choose which you will let go to ruin. Faith, the nation is well enough,' says I, 'and here goes to do my duty by this distressed damsel. And with nothing but what she had on her back, and a purse of gold, we turned our backs upon Baltimore, and like doves chased by sportsmen, proceeded with all speed to Leon, who had taken up his abode at an airy villa on the banks of the Hudson. And here again I will leave to your conjecture what took place when they met; and conclude by saying that I went mad with joy on seeing them locked in each other's arms.

And while New York was being searched in vain by the friends of her unyielding parents, I saw them made one twain by the village parson; then I left them as happy a couple as ever mingled love, and sought you, intending to ask forgiveness. You have it all, sir; and may Heaven reward you for the forgiveness you have vouchsafed me."

And now, the time for the general's departure having arrived, old Battle was got safely on board, when this wonderful politician, soldier, and diplomatist, and his clever secretary, set sail for the Kaloramas; and when they had proceeded on their voyage for some weeks met with so serious an accident that the writer of this faithful history deems it proper that he should record it in the next chapter.

It ought also to be mentioned here that the general, out of sheer respect to his honesty as a critic, appointed Easley guardian to his gifted pig, whose earnings he promised to transmit to Polly Potter instead of the unfathomable depths of the "Bleeding Kansas Fund."

CHAPTER XLVI.

CONTAINING A FAITHFUL ACCOUNT OF WHAT TOOK PLACE WHEN GENERAL POTTER AND HIS SECRETARY CROSSED THE LINE, AND HOW HE RODE THE FLYING HORSE.

BEING ignorant of any rule compelling historians to give the names of such ships as convey their amba.s.sadors to foreign lands, I have resolved that the omission in this instance shall be made up by the fancy of the reader, whom I feel in my heart will generously give me credit for what I have written, the truth whereof no man of common sense will doubt. A further motive for not naming the vessel on which this wonderful minister sailed is, that what took place on board might afford matter for one of those extremely fashionable episodes called Courts-Martial, and which are princ.i.p.ally held at Washington for the entertainment of such aged members of the service as are fond of listening to, and sitting in judgment upon, the minute and circ.u.mstantial details of indiscreet conversations held among young gentlemen of the ward-room; and which, it must be confessed, reflects but little honor upon the service. But to the ship.

When the ship was many days' sail from land, and affairs on board had pa.s.sed pleasantly enough, the officers, one after another began to hold conversation with the general, and to flatter his vanity in various ways, styling him "Your Excellency," and intimating that he must be perfect master of all great subjects. In truth, they soon discovered from the disjointed character of his discourse upon various subjects that his wits were deranged; for no matter what subject they introduced, he would mount his favorite hobby of taking care of the nation. But how a man could be an adept in politics and a simpleton in so many other things they could not clearly understand. They therefore came naturally enough to the conclusion that the government had set a trap to get rid of a gentleman with designs on the treasury, and caught a mouse instead of a minister.

Nor were they less surprised with the singular relations existing between the general and his secretary, who had more than once declared to them that he had puzzled his wits in vain to get at the true quality of his master's understanding. They therefore resolved among themselves to make him the subject of a little diversion. He had entertained them with accounts of the wonderful achievements of the Potter family, as also his own exploits in the Mexican war, at which they were all astonished and confounded.

When, then, the general appeared on deck one day, in his new uniform, which he got of Fox in New York, and which he verily believed necessary to the great undertakings he was about to engage in, the first Lieutenant approached him, and with great gravity of manner, said, "Your Excellency has doubtless heard of the custom which renders it necessary that all great officials crossing the line for the first time pay their respects to Neptune, king of the sea and father of barbers, who will come on board and shave you to your satisfaction. And when this ceremony is over the officials then display their skill at riding the flying horse, the success or failure of which is invariably held a good or bad omen of the success or failure of their mission."

The general listened with curious attention to these remarks. "I own, Mr. Lieutenant," said he, in reply, "that if you approached me on matters of government or something that concerns the politics of our country, there you will find me at home; but as to these affairs of the sea, I know as little about them as your village parson. As to riding a flying horse, I will leave that to Mr. Tickler, my secretary; for though no man will say I am not skilled in riding, I can tell you I have been twice thrown by my horse Battle, and care not to have more of my limbs broken. But by all means let this Neptune you speak of be introduced to me, and if the shaving can be dispensed with, so much the better, since I am not fond of ceremonies, and may have need of my beard in dealing with this savage king."

"Your Excellency reasons well," rejoined the Lieutenant; "but judging from the fame he has already acquired, and which is as familiar to us as our school-day primers, I feel that he would not have it said of him that he was a whit behind his many predecessors, who held themselves honored in being the recipients of this ceremony, which, in truth, is considered another feather in their dignity. But this I will say, that where secretaries are present, the custom has been so modified as to vouchsafe the shaving to them, while riding the flying horse is strictly reserved for the highest officials."

"What you say of my fame, Mr. Lieutenant, is just what many others have said, and may be set down to my honesty as a politician. And, as you say it is well to look to my dignity, I will confer with my secretary and hear what he says concerning this affair of the shaving." Having returned this answer, the general sought his secretary and recounted to him, in private, the conversation that had taken place between himself and the lieutenant, upon which the learned critic swore by Saint Patrick, and a dozen more equally good saints, that no man should trifle with his beard, of which he was as scrupulous as many of our more fashionable clergymen, and, indeed, kept it highly polished with daily applications of Rushton's best pomades. He also declared that however ready he might be to render service either to his government or ladies in distress, he verily believed the whole affair a joke got up by the officers, who were much given to practising such tricks upon the unwary; and therefore he would have them look elsewhere for subjects of jest. The general, however, a.s.sured him that it was a grave mistake, since gentlemen of such standing and valor would not deign to trifle with the respectability of a secretary invested with such important functions. He therefore proceeded with him into the presence of the first lieutenant, around whom several of his fellow-officers were gathered, and on stating what had taken place, they one and all a.s.sured Mr. Tickler in the most grave and becoming manner that they had not the slightest intention of offending his dignity, nor indeed in any way provoking him to think ill of them. Nevertheless, they begged him to bear in mind that this ancient custom was only kept up with a view to test the real courage and resolution of high officials proceeding on these great and important missions. "I am not frightened at trifles, gentlemen," replied Mr. Tickler, somewhat agitated; "but it seems to me that this shaving you speak of is not generally known among barbers. And I have read every book written by Ike Marvel (and bright gems, hung in the murky firmament of our maudlin literature, they are, too!); but not a word does he say about secretaries of Legations paying penance in this manner with their beards. However, if his excellency has courage to ride the flying horse, Orlando Tickler will not be found wanting. Pray let the ceremony proceed; but spare me my beard if you can, for I am no dump, and know that it was said by somebody that a poor gentleman had better stick to his garret than go beardless to court." The officers now proceeded to arrange the matter between themselves, and resolved to carry it into effect on the following morning.

And now a rosy dawn ushered in the morning on which the great and all-absorbing event was to take place. A clear sky, a sea so calm that scarce a ripple was to be seen, every sail spread to its utmost capacity, and the mellow tints of the rising sun playing over and investing them with a majesty of outline at once grand and imposing.

And yet the ma.s.sive hull scarce moved, so gentle was the breeze that fanned through her canva.s.s.

The officers were astir before Mother Carey's chickens had dipped their wings; indeed, the very elements seemed to have combined to favor this great and wonderful event, which, seeing that it was in honor of so great a politician as General Roger Potter, was to surpa.s.s all other events. .h.i.therto recorded in this history.

A stage of rough planks was erected during the night just abaft the fore-mast, and over this a mizen topgallant studding-sail formed an awning, between which and the mast there was a huge wind-sail, leading down into the forehatch. The fore-courser and lower studding-sails were now clewed up, and a messenger dispatched to inform the general and his secretary that the ship was crossing the line, and as Neptune's temper was crispy of age, he might on discovering any want of respect, invoke a storm. Not content with this, two officers high in rank rushed into the state-room of Mr.

Tickler, and evincing great anxiety lest his reputation for courage suffer, drew him from his berth, and winding him up in a sheet, bore him struggling in their arms to a seat arranged on the platform. At the same time a great blowing of sea-conchs (said to be Neptune's chorus), accompanied by the heaving and splashing of waters, was heard directly under the bows, and was indeed enough to strike terror into a stronger heart than Tickler possessed. In short, the secretary found his courage giving out, notwithstanding he had on the evening previous given several of the officers a most interesting account of the many duels he had figured in. In truth, it must be confessed that if the secretary had not been secured to his seat with gaskets, he would, regardless of precedents, have taken to his heels and left the ceremony to those who had a liking for it. And as it was, his fears continued to increase with the approach of the ceremony.

A double file of men, in their neatest attire, now formed in order from the orlop to the fore-chains. At this moment the general, arrayed in his war-worn uniform, sallied forth with becoming dignity, and evidently much concerned about the important part he was to play in this great event, for he felt in his heart that the honor of his country depended entirely upon the skill he displayed in riding the flying horse. He was also not a little concerned lest his secretary should fail to carry himself with becoming nerve, and encouraged him with promises to permit him to say things creditable to himself in his first letter to the New York Daily Discoverer.

Old Neptune, trident in hand, and as fishy an old salt as could well be imagined, now rose with great gravity and stateliness over the bow; and having cast a piercing glance at the file of men, who raised their hats and saluted him with becoming deference, advanced slowly, and being met by two senior lieutenants, was first informed of the great fame of the voyagers, and then welcomed on board with a speech. This done he was introduced to, and exchanged courtesies with the general, who made him sundry bows, and would have put many questions to him concerning his ancestry; but as it was customary with him to lose no time, he proceeded forthwith to the shaving.

Perhaps I ought here to inform the reader that this Neptune wore a sort of toga, made of the skins of sea-lions; that his beard was like unto fibrous coral found on the coast of Florida, and hung almost to his waist; and that a crown of sea-moss decorated his venerable head. Muttering something in a language the first lieutenant declared was Spanish, and exchanging bows with Mr.

Tickler, whose face and beard only were visible above the white sheet, Neptune resigned his trident to one of the sailors, and approaching the candidate for this great honor, felt and felt his beard, then gave his head a toss of satisfaction, and smiled. A grinning negro now advanced in his clean white ap.r.o.n, and an immense bowl, held with his left arm; and this was filled with a composite for shaving, such, I venture to a.s.sert, as Rushton never thought of; for being a mixture of grease, tar, and soap, the odor that escaped was anything but aromatic. Here the secretary quite lost his temper, and swore by the Virgin in a deep rich brogue, which was not uncommon with him when he spoke natural, that he saw through the whole thing; and that the man who defiled his beard with such stuff as that would have to suffer for it when he got the use of his hands. Heeding not what he said, the negro applied the lather with an immense paint-brush, and had well-nigh suffocated the critic, who cried for mercy at the very top of his voice, to the no small diversion of the bystanders, who enjoyed it hugely. Solemnly Neptune then commenced to shave the critic with an immense razor made of wood; but he was so nervous in the management of it, and sc.r.a.ped the critic's face so unmercifully, that he bellowed out at the very top of his voice, "Holy Saint Peter! come to my relief, and let not this thy child be tortured by his enemies!"

"Be not a whimperer, but comport yourself with courage, Mr.

Tickler," said the general, apparently quite as much diverted as any of them: "I have a hearty respect enough for these critics; but if they let their courage leak out in this way, Heaven only knows what they will do when they come to face the guns of the enemy?" he concluded, whispering in the ear of one of the officers. Having stepped aside to wipe the razor, as he said, they were all surprised and astonished to find that Neptune had disappeared amidst the plunging of waters and blowing of sea-conchs. Scarcely had he gone when an immense current of water came down upon the head of the suffering Tickler, and which he was a.s.sured was nothing more than the tail-end of a water-spout, though in truth it was poured from buckets in the hands of a cunning rogue concealed in the windsail close by. And the force and density of this so nearly drowned the simple-minded critic that he several times gasped for breath, and indeed seemed on the very point of dissolution. The whole ceremony was performed in a remarkably short s.p.a.ce of time; and when the lathered and drenched Orlando Tickler was set at liberty, he cast the winding sheet from his shoulders, stood a few moments making the most savage gestures at his adversaries, (most of whom had sought places of safety,) and challenged the best of them to meet him like men; then he scampered away to his cabin, muttering as he pa.s.sed the general, "Faith! and I wish your excellency better luck with what there is left." It ought to be mentioned here that the hanging by the heels, which is a part of this excellent and very ancient custom, was, out of sheer respect to Tickler's fame as a critic, omitted in this instance.

The wind now began to freshen so that every sail filled to perfection; but as there was but little motion on the ship, it was resolved not to ride the flying-horse until breakfast was over, when it was hoped a rolling motion of the hull would afford a better opportunity for the display of skill. "Mr. Lieutenant," said the general, approaching that officer with his ear canted, and touching him confidentially on the arm, "although there was sport enough in this shaving of my secretary, I begin to have certain fears about riding the flying-horse; as you say, it may afford me a chance to display my courage and horsemanship: but, if it be similar to the shaving, I cannot see wherein it will serve my dignity; and therefore I say that it seems to my mind better that you give the performance to some other gentleman." The lieutenant replied that this was a feat entirely free from the severities accompanying the shaving; in truth, that it was solely a means of displaying agility, being much practised by the South Carolinians after their tournaments. And in order to prove to him that it was in every way worthy the high consideration of so distinguished a politician and general, he promised to make several of the seamen give him an example. Somewhat reconciled to this a.s.surance, the general proceeded to prepare himself.

When, then, breakfast was over, they all repaired on deck to witness the general's skill at riding the flying-horse. The ship rolled lazily, an oar with the blade resting upon the quarter deck, the stock extending some eight or ten feet forward and secured near the end with a rope made fast in the mizen-caps, const.i.tuted the horse, which swung to and fro with the motion of the ship. A hat was then placed on the end of the oar, when an old experienced sailor mounted with a staff in his hand, and having crossed his legs (like a tailor upon his board), let go the rope, and, with his hands extended, swung to the motion of the ship, maintaining his balance with the ease and composure of a rope-dancer. This done, he dislodged the hat with his staff; and to prove how easy it was to perform the feat, he thrice repeated it to the great delight of all on board. "Faith of my father!" exclaimed the general, "I see no great things in that; and if it be all you require in proof of my courage, I will show you that I can do it a dozen times, and with less trouble than it would give me to ride my horse Battle." All now made way for the wonderful general, whose shortness of legs rendered it necessary to bring benches to facilitate his mounting; for the flying-horse stood some six feet or more from the spar deck, and was not so easily mounted by a general accustomed to the saddle.

A silence as of the tomb reigned among the bystanders while the great General Potter proceeded to mount; which he effected after considerable puffing and fussing, and adjusting his three-cornered hat, of which he was singularly scrupulous. Holding on by the rope with great tenacity, the only difficulty now in the way seemed his legs, which were too short to get crossed upon the oar. Declaring he had never before rode an animal of such sharpness in the back, he proposed that the crossing of legs be omitted, when he would show them that he could dislodge the hat with great agility sitting astride the oar. But as this would leave no chance for the sport that was to follow, the officers all a.s.serted upon their reputations that in no instance of which they had any knowledge had such a concession been made, no matter how distinguished the amba.s.sador.

But in order not to be wanting in courtesy, two of the officers a.s.sisted him in getting his legs crossed. This done the benches were cleared, and, not a little disturbed in his courage, the gallant general swung away to the motion of the ship. Several voices now called to him, demanding that he let go the rope and dislodge the hat. "When a man knows his life is in danger, it occurs to me, gentlemen, that he had better be left to choose his own time in parting with it!" replied the general. He however let go the rope, and suddenly making a pa.s.s at the hat with his staff, lost his balance and was plunged headlong into the larboard scuppers, and with such force that had not his bones been equal to wrought-iron, not a sound one had been left in his body. He now gave out such pitiful groans as brought the officers to a knowledge of the serious character of the joke, which was put an end to by their picking him up and bearing him away to his cabin.