Prince Kung and I both wished that we had more men of Robert Hart's character.

"I heard that he was honored in England by the Queen. Is that true?" I asked.

Prince Kung nodded. "The Queen made him a knight, but she cares far more about Hart's achievement in opening China for England than his rank."

"I will never take Robert Hart for granted," I promised.

"Hart loves China. He has been tolerant and has put up with the court's disrespect. I fear that his patience will soon run out and he will quit. China is absolutely dependent on Hart's leadership. We would lose a third of our customs revenue, and ... our dynasty..."

I did not know how to carry on Prince Kung's work. I had no way to communicate with Robert Hart, nor was I confident of convincing the court of his vital importance.

"I can't do it without you, sixth brother." I wept.

Kung's doctor hovered nearby and told me that I'd better leave.

The prince looked relieved when he waved goodbye to me.

I returned the next day and was told that Prince Kung had been drifting in and out of consciousness. A few days later he went into a coma.

On May 22, he died.

I helped to arrange a simple funeral for Prince Kung, as he had requested. The throne personally notified Robert Hart of his friend's pa.s.sing.

It was hard for me to let go of Prince Kung. The day after his burial, I dreamed of his return. He was with Hsien Feng. Both men looked to be twenty again. Prince Kung wore purple, and my husband was dressed in his white satin robe.

"To live is to experience dying and is worse than death," my husband said in his usual depressed tone.

"True," Prince Kung said, "but 'living death' can also be interpreted as 'spiritual wealth.'"

I followed them in my nightgown as they talked to each other. I understood the words, but not their meanings.

"The understanding of suffering enables the sufferer to walk on the path of immortality," my husband went on. "Immortality means the ability to bear the unbearable."

Prince Kung agreed. "Only after experiencing death can one understand the pleasure of living."

Still in the realm of dreams, I interrupted them. "But there is no pleasure in my living. To live means only to die over and over. The pain has become impossible to bear. It is like a continuous punishment, a lingering death."

"Dying over and over gives you the rapture of being alive," my husband said.

Before I could argue, both men faded. In their place I saw a very old woman squatting on her heels in the corner of a large, dark room. It was myself. I was in servant's clothes and I looked sick. My body had shrunk to the size of a child. My skin was deeply wrinkled and my hair gray and white.

29.

Reform has been on my mind," Emperor Guang-hsu confessed. "It is the only way to save China." Over breakfast in the Forbidden City he told me he had found a "like-mind," a man whom he much admired. "But the court has rejected my meeting with him."

This was the first time I heard the name Kang Yu-wei, a scholar and self-proclaimed reformer from Canton. I found out that the reason for the court's rejection was that Kang Yu-wei had neither a government position nor any rank. In fact, he had failed the national civil service examination three times.

"Kang Yu-wei is an extraordinary talent, a political genius!" Guang-hsu insisted.

I asked how the Emperor had learned about this man.

"Pearl introduced his writings to me."

"I hope Pearl is aware that she could be punished for smuggling books," I said.

"She is, Mother. But she was right to bring me his books, for I have learned a way to set China on the right path."

Pearl's daring reminded me of my own when I was her age. I also remembered how I was hated by the entire court, especially Grand Councilor Su Shun, who had set his mind on destroying me.

"Pearl believes that I have the power to protect her."

"Do you, Guang-hsu?"

My son got up from his chair and went to sit in another. His foot nervously tapped the floor. "I guess I wouldn't be here if I did."

"You are willing to protect her, aren't you?" I asked. "Yes..." He seemed to hesitate.

"I want to make sure you mean what you say, so I know where I stand."

"I love Pearl."

"Does that mean you are willing to give up your throne for love?"

Guang-hsu looked at me. "You are trying to scare me, Mother."

"One thing I can see clearly. You may be forced to sign Pearl's death sentence if she is found to be involved in the Emperor's business. It doesn't matter if the invitation was from you. You know the rules."

"I am sorry for encouraging Pearl," Guang-hsu said. "But she deserves nothing but praise. She is brilliant and brave."

"I shall judge Pearl myself," I said.

"I am prepared to go ahead with or without the court's support," the Emperor said to me a few days later. His usually pale skin was flushed. "I have studied the reform models of Russia's Peter the Great and j.a.pan's Hideyoshi. Both helped me clarify what I am setting out to do. Reform will make China strong and prosperous in ten years. Within twenty years China will be powerful enough to recover her lost territories and avenge her humiliations."

"Is this Kang Yu-wei's prediction?" I asked.

Guang-hsu straightened his posture and nodded. "Pearl has met with Kang Yu-wei on my behalf at Tutor Weng's."

"Are you sure Kang Yu-wei didn't approach Pearl first?"

"In fact, he approached Tutor Weng first. He asked him to pa.s.s a message to me."

"I a.s.sume he was refused."

"Yes, but Kang persisted. Pearl saw him at Tutor Weng's door, pa.s.sing out pamphlets to anyone who was interested."

My son showed me a few of them. They were self-published and poorly made, but the t.i.tles caught my eye: Study of the Reforms in j.a.pan, Confucius as a Reformer Study of the Reforms in j.a.pan, Confucius as a Reformer and and Essays on China's Reconstruction. Essays on China's Reconstruction.

"After I finished reading Kang Yu-wei," Guang-hsu said, "I ordered copies to be sent to the key viceroys and governors."

"You believe that Kang Yu-wei has a cure for China?"

"Absolutely." Guang-hsu was excited. "His writings are revolutionary. They speak my mind. No wonder the court and the Ironhats consider him dangerous."

I told Guang-hsu that the court had informed me of the scholar's background. "Do you know about Kang's failure to pa.s.s the civil service exams?"

"The court misjudges him!"

"Tell me, what is it about Kang Yu-wei that impresses you?"

"His insistence that drastic steps must be taken if reform is to succeed."

"Don't you think Li Hung-chang and Yung Lu are already making great progress?" I asked.

"They are not effective enough. The old ways must be abandoned completely."

If I were a portrait painter, I would have painted my son at that moment. He stood by the window as sunlight played on his shoulders. His eyes glowed, and he motioned with his hands to make a point.

"According to Kang Yu-wei, j.a.pan was also a tradition-bound nation," the Emperor continued. "It was able to transform itself almost overnight from a feudal society to an industrial state."

"But when j.a.pan began its reforms, it was not under attack," I pointed out, "nor did it carry tremendous domestic and international debts. Let me finish, Guang-hsu. People in j.a.pan were ready to follow their Emperor when he called."

"What makes you think that my people won't follow me?"

"Guang-hsu, your own court is against you."

The Emperor screwed up his eyes. "The first thing on my reform agenda will be to get rid of that roadblock."

I felt a chill but tried not to show it.

"My edicts will bypa.s.s the Clan Council and the court." Guang-hsu sounded determined. "Kang Yu-wei believes I should speak directly to my people."

"The court will fight you, and there will be chaos."

"With your support, Mother, I shall fight back and win."

I didn't want to discourage him, although I believed that abandoning the court was a dangerous idea.

"Think again, son. The defeat by j.a.pan has frightened our nation. Stability is everything."

"But reform can no longer wait, Mother." The gentleness in my son's voice was gone.

"I want you to be aware of the political realities."

"I am, Mother."

"There has been insurrection in the countryside. The radicals in Canton have been gaining political momentum. The latest spy report shows that the movement calling for a Chinese republic is being funded by the j.a.panese."

Guang-hsu grew impatient. "n.o.body will stop me from moving forward. n.o.body."

The standing clock in the corner struck twice. Li Lien-ying came in to remind me that lunch had already been reheated.

"May I tell the court that I have your permission to meet with Kang Yu-wei?" Guang-hsu asked.

"I'll see if I can get the court to loosen its grip."

"You have the power to dictate your will."

"It is better to make the granting of permission the court's decision."

He walked toward the door and then walked back, visibly upset. "Fear has caused China its sickness, its weakness, and soon its death!"

"Guang-hsu, may I reveal a bit of my struggle? Your uncles and senior councilors have been coming to me."

"What do they want?"

"They want you out." I opened a stack of doc.u.ments I had been reviewing. "Listen to this. 'The Emperor has acted impetuously and is not to be trusted without a guiding hand.' 'Guang-hsu has not demonstrated the capability to arrive at decisions by consensus. It is necessary to remove him from the throne. We suggest that P'u-chun, Prince Ts'eng's grandson, succeed him.'"

"How dare they!" Guang-hsu was enraged. "I shall prosecute them for conspiracy!"

"Not if the entire court signed the pet.i.tion." I pushed the doc.u.ments aside.

Guang-hsu continued to protest, but his tone changed. He lowered his voice, seemed to pull himself back, and eventually he stopped talking, leaned against the window and folded his arms in front of his chest. He stared outside for a while and then turned toward me. "I need your support, Mother."

"Use me well, my son. When the court talks about putting the power back in my hands, it means their their hands. My role has been a ceremonial one. The only time I become important is when I am needed as a figurehead. It is to lend legitimacy to the princes, grandees and high mandarins-the people who possess true power." hands. My role has been a ceremonial one. The only time I become important is when I am needed as a figurehead. It is to lend legitimacy to the princes, grandees and high mandarins-the people who possess true power."

"But Mother..."

"I have ignored Li Hung-chang and Yung Lu, who have expressed their own doubts about you. To be honest, I have doubts myself. You have never proved yourself."

"But I am trying to do the right thing."

"That, my son, I do not doubt one bit."