Now I was completely alone. As my time in Williamsburg had pa.s.sed, maturity had shown me the impossibility of returning to Tall Oaks. I had been forced to accept that I would not be reunited with my adopted family. Now my deep desire to reunite with my brother was gone as well. Now I was completely alone. As my time in Williamsburg had pa.s.sed, maturity had shown me the impossibility of returning to Tall Oaks. I had been forced to accept that I would not be reunited with my adopted family. Now my deep desire to reunite with my brother was gone as well.

How it was that Mr. B. came to hold me, I could not say, but I found myself in his arms as I gave way to despair. When my tears subsided, I rested my head back, and the man, in a kindly gesture, pushed my damp hair back from my face.

"What will I do?" I whispered.

Mr. B. was on his knee before I could understand the purpose.

"Marry me," he implored.

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

Belle

IN THE WINTER I I GET GET a letter from Lavinia saying that she looking to find her brother, Cardigan. He's gonna come for her, and then she'll send for me and Jamie. I take the letter and run to go find Benny down at the horse barn, cleaning out stalls. a letter from Lavinia saying that she looking to find her brother, Cardigan. He's gonna come for her, and then she'll send for me and Jamie. I take the letter and run to go find Benny down at the horse barn, cleaning out stalls.

"Hey, baby!" he says when he sees me. He looks around, but he knows we're alone because Papa's working at the big house with Uncle Jacob. He puts the rake down, walks over real slow, looks me up and down, takes my arm, and pulls me to hisself. He's still wanting me like the first time, and he knows I feel the same way.

This time I say, "No, Ben. Wait." I wave the letter at him. "Lavinia says she has a brother, and they're gonna send for me."

Benny stops smiling and sits down. I see this is hard for him.

"But I'm gonna write her and tell her you got to come with me."

Ben don't say nothing.

"Benny, do you hear me? I'll tell Lavinia you're coming with me."

He looks away.

"Ben?"

"Belle," he says, "how you gonna make that happen? She gonna buy me? And what about Lucy and the babies?"

"You're wanting to stay here? You're picking Lucy over me?"

"Baby," he says, "we both know this day comin'. We know you got to go before Marshall get back here."

I don't believe he's saying this. I start crying and can't stop myself. "Baby ..." he says, and when he comes over to me, I start yelling, "Don't you call me baby! You're staying here? You're picking Lucy over me? Well! I guess you're happy that I'm finally going! I see now you're waiting for me to go all this time!"

His big old eyes fill up and run over until it looks like there's a bucket of water coming down his face. I don't care. I go running back to the kitchen house. When he comes, I don't let him in. I tell him to go, get away from me. Then Mama comes.

"You know you got to go, Belle," she says. I start to say something smart to Mama, but she stops me. "Belle, you scared, I knows this, but don't get mad with me. You know you got to get out of here. This good for you and Jamie, going with Lavinia."

"But I want Ben with me!" I say.

"I know this, Belle," say Mama, "but Ben got to stay. He have no say. Where he gonna get his free papers? It gonna be hard enough on Lavinia, buyin' you and Jamie. And what about Lucy and her boys?"

After Mama goes, I just sit and cry. I know I got to get me and Jamie out of here. It's a blessing that Lavinia wants me, I know this, so in the end I write to her and tell her me and Jamie want to come. But I don't send the letter just yet. I put it in my writing box under my bed. There's still time.

Before supper, Will Stephens comes to talk. He stands outside the door. Like always when I'm alone, he don't come in the house. "What're you needing, Will?" I say. He asks me to come sit on the bench outside the kitchen, so I do. Finally, he speaks up. "I hear that you've had an offer from Lavinia?"

I nod, 'cause if I talk, I'm afraid I'll start to cry.

"Do you want to go?"

I know he see that my eyes are all puffed and red. I shake my head.

"Well," he say, "I've been thinking about this for a while now. I might have another offer for you."

I look at him, wondering what he's talking about.

He tells me, come spring, he got to go to Williamsburg to ask some questions to Mr. Madden and Marshall and to get some papers signed. What he says next almost knocks me off the bench. He wants to know it's all right by me if he gets me for his own farm. He got a contract, and it says he gets to take some people from here. He likes the way I'm always working, and he's wanting me to come work for him. "Of course," he says, "this means that I also want Jamie." from here. He likes the way I'm always working, and he's wanting me to come work for him. "Of course," he says, "this means that I also want Jamie."

Will knows I go no place unless Jamie's with me. Mama's always saying I keep my Jamie too close to me, that it's not good for him. But he's a funny child. He'd rather stay with me than go play. He's a nice-looking boy, but he got one eye that's clouded up, and he can't see nothing from it. Mama says maybe it'll get better when he gets older, but it seems to be getting worse, more white. But he can still see good with the other eye.

I look back at Will Stephens and can't find no words.

"I'm also planning to negotiate for Ben and Lucy and their two boys," Will Stephens says. He don't look at me when he says this, because by now he knows about Ben and me. For sure everybody else knows. n.o.body fusses no more about it. Even Lucy and me don't fight no more.

"When's this all going to happen?" is all I say to Will Stephens.

"I'm not certain," he says, "but Marshall turns twenty-two next year. Then he will have control of this place. I don't know if he plans to come back. If he does, I suspect that he will want changes, and though I'm sure that Marshall has matured, I would like to get the papers in order before that happens. I'm guessing that Mr. Madden will be easier to deal with."

My heart's pounding and I don't know what to say, so I settle on "Thank you, Mr. Stephens."

He laughs. "Since when do you call me Mr. Stephens?"

I look down because I can't take the smile off my face.

"I know you as Belle, you know me as Will," he says. "That doesn't have to change-unless you want me to call you Miss Pyke?"

First time ever, somebody calls me that. I sit up, proud. "No, sir," I say. "Belle suits me just fine."

"Well, then, Belle and Will it is," he says, and we laugh. "I do have one more question," he says.

"What's that?" I ask.

He takes his hat off, pushes his hair back, then goes to put the hat back on. I know something's up when he takes all that time working his hat.

"Well, I'm wondering about Lavinia ... do you think she's grown up?"

"She was all grown up when she little," I say, and laugh to remember.

He smiles. "She was that. She's about sixteen now, am I right?"

"This May," I say.

"Then you think that she'd be old enough to court?"

"Well, Mr. Will Stephens!" I say, but then I try not to laugh. His face looks like it's burning up, so I say, "There's not a time she don't write about coming back here."

"So you've said," he says.

After he leaves, the first thing I do is tear up the old letter to Lavinia and write a new one. I write that me and Jamie will stay here and that Will Stephens has some good news. I'm gonna give this letter to Will when he goes. By the time she reads it, maybe she already says yes to coming back with him.

Ben's going to have to do some fancy talking to get back in my door. Trouble is, we both know it's just a matter of time.

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE

Lavinia

MY ENGAGEMENT TO M MR. BORAN was announced on my sixteenth birthday. Stunned by his sudden proposal, I could not respond that evening and told him so. "I can wait," he said, and offered me time to consider. I had no thoughts of marrying the man, but when I asked Miss Sarah for advice, her apparent relief had me reconsider. was announced on my sixteenth birthday. Stunned by his sudden proposal, I could not respond that evening and told him so. "I can wait," he said, and offered me time to consider. I had no thoughts of marrying the man, but when I asked Miss Sarah for advice, her apparent relief had me reconsider.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, her hands clasped to her bosom. "I was hoping for this." She caught herself when my face gave away my feelings. "Of course, only you can make this decision, my dear," she added.

"I hadn't truly considered it," I said, and waited for her reply. "I mean ... he is so old. I mean ... for me ..."

"Yes, I suppose you might see it that way," she said, "but there is also the fact that because of his age, he is well established. And you do get on so well with Molly.

And think, my dear: I doubt you would want for anything. He was known to have been most generous with poor Mrs. Boran. And think of the changes you might bring to him! His clothes, his... I can scarcily imagine the improvement. Then there is the advantage that you would stay here in Williamsburg. You would not have to say good-bye to Meg, nor to us. Just think of it! Your own home, a place in this society-you would be readily accepted. I think this is most exciting, most fortunate. But the decision must be yours."

When I told Meg of his proposal, she was appalled. "How can you consider it?" she asked. "He is a boring old man!"

"I don't know, Meg. This might be my only chance."

"What can you possibly mean?"

"What else am I to do?"

"For heaven's sake, Vinny! Surely you can see beyond this!"

Fear underlay my angry response. "It's easy for you, Meg. You have this home, you have a family. Every day you make choices that suit you. I don't have that luxury!"

Meg misunderstood my anger. "Are you saying that my parents haven't offered you every chance?"

"I'm saying that I am considering marriage to Mr. Boran, and I had hoped for your support!"

"That you'll never have!"

I swung from Meg's room and ran to my own. There, I shut the door and, too angry for tears, decided to write a letter to Belle. I sat at my desk and imagined her with me. I would tell her of my dilemma, of Cardigan's death, and of Mr. Boran's marriage proposal.

Then I thought of Mama Mae and of what she might say. I thought of Papa and the twins, and of how I longed to see them. Before I could stop it, my most distressing memory returned. It was of Sukey and her run to follow my carriage. Losing her remained so painful that I seldom allowed myself to think of it. Now, knowing I had lost them all forever, I was unable to write one word. I leaned over the paper, placed my head in my hands, and gave way to tears.

The following day I approached Miss Sarah once again and told her that I had decided to accept Mr. Boran's proposal. Delighted, she suggested that we announce the engagement on my sixteenth birthday. When Mr. Madden was informed of this development, though less enthusiastic than his wife, he agreed to the wedding provided that I not marry until my seventeenth birthday. I was relieved to hear of this stipulation.

THE NEXT MONTH, ON THE morning of June 5, I was called to the front parlor. I was curious, for this was not a common occurrence. Having already completed my morning preparations, I wouldn't have bothered to stop and check myself in the long mirror, but I suspected morning of June 5, I was called to the front parlor. I was curious, for this was not a common occurrence. Having already completed my morning preparations, I wouldn't have bothered to stop and check myself in the long mirror, but I suspected Miss Sarah had a friend visiting and would prefer that I look presentable. My dress, made of fine muslin, was simple enough and of a pale green that Meg said complemented my eyes. It hung straight and soft, the line broken by a wide dark green ribbon meant to emphasize the fashionable empire cut. I turned to the side and smiled, pleased to see that my trim figure had rounded to womanhood. I leaned in to check more closely and wondered again if my odd-colored amber eyes were inherited from my mother or my father. Miss Sarah had a friend visiting and would prefer that I look presentable. My dress, made of fine muslin, was simple enough and of a pale green that Meg said complemented my eyes. It hung straight and soft, the line broken by a wide dark green ribbon meant to emphasize the fashionable empire cut. I turned to the side and smiled, pleased to see that my trim figure had rounded to womanhood. I leaned in to check more closely and wondered again if my odd-colored amber eyes were inherited from my mother or my father.

I had no complaint with the oval shape of my face nor with my high cheekbones, and I wrinkled my nose at myself, happy that I had grown into it. The freckles continued to vex me, and I thought my lips too full, but I was pleased that my teeth were white and straight. My hair hung down in a schoolgirl fashion, and I tossed it, noting with some pride the deep auburn that caught the sun's rays. The style of the day was to wear the hair in a knot with tendrils softening any severity, but Meg and I preferred our hair loose, using only combs to pull it back. Miss Sarah agreed to this provided we gave our promise that when convention demanded, we would dress it.

Ready to go, I looked out and was surprised to see Meg's door still closed. Not wanting to keep Miss Sarah waiting, I went ahead without her.

I recognized the voice before I reached the front parlor, and my heart began to race. When I saw Will Stephens, when my eyes met his, all of my good training was forgotten. "Will!" I cried, rushing toward him, "Will!" I stopped myself short when I saw Miss Sarah's frown. I remembered then to stand and wait for Will's approach. When he reached me, I offered him my hand.

"And who is this?" he asked, but I could see that he was teasing.

"Will!" I could only say. "Will!"

"Lavinia," Miss Sarah reminded me, "why don't you invite our guest to sit?"

"Oh, please do," I offered. Will smiled broadly as I led the way to the settee. After we were seated, Miss Sarah excused herself, saying that Nancy required her a.s.sistance.

"Will! Why are you here? When did you come? How is everyone? How long are you staying? Did anyone else come with you?" A hundred questions surfaced and tumbled forth.

Will laughed, and my heart was lost. My childhood infatuation came rushing back and my acquired years gave it additional weight. How beautiful he was: his smile, his sunbrowned face, his dark and happy eyes. I stared at him as he spoke, delighting in his every word.

All was well. He was here on business, he said, to renegotiate his contract as farm manager. He had some changes to make and wanted the approval of both Mr. Madden and Marshall before implementing them. He was proud to say the plantation was doing well, and as he told me about everyone, he remembered a packet from Belle. I held it, unopened, as I continued to quiz him about home.

Ben and Lucy had another baby. Uncle Jacob and Mama and Papa kept everything ready for the return of Miss Martha and Marshall.

I looked directly at him. "How is Belle?"

"She is as hardworking as ever," he said. "She still misses you."

"And Jamie?" I continued my hard stare.

Will noted me studying him, but his eyes held no embarra.s.sment, nor did he waver when he answered, "He is well. How old was he when you left?"

"Nine months. He is at least three now."