CHAPTER X

THE KING OF GEE-WHIZ

As the King approached them, it was easy to see that he was indeed a very important person; for all the people fell down upon their faces before him and made a slow deep salutation, much as though you should say "Ah-h-h!" in this way, with a very deep breath. To this respectful greeting the Monarch made no return whatever. The Widow Pickle noticed this.

"I see that you are not fully acquainted with Monarchs," said the Private Secretary, "or at least I should say with Monarchs such as ours.

At times he is even more absent-minded than he now appears. I have known him to order half a dozen of his best friends to be banished for some slight offense, and then to forget it before luncheon of that same day, and ask for them again, just as though nothing had happened."

"That," said the Widow Pickle, "seems to me a very unusual sort of thing to do. I should like to see him banish me if I did not feel like being banished at the time!"

"You will pardon me," said the Private Secretary, "but it appears to me that you must be an extraordinarily ignorant person, for banishing persons, or even cutting off their heads, in a fit of absent-mindedness, is a part of the daily routine of any truly royal king, and his loyal subjects are very fond of both. If they were not, they could not be called truly loyal subjects; and what is the use of being a subject unless one is a truly loyal subject, madam?"

"That," said the Widow Pickle, "is a very difficult question."

"I thought you would find it such," replied the Private Secretary. "But tell me, is not our King a very royal person? And I may add that he is as kindly a king as ever sat on a throne. Once in a while, he does something which indicates a slight loss of temper; but how could you blame him, with his poor stomach, and with his love affair with the Fairy Queen, as well, to trouble him? It is quite enough to upset any king in the world, I am sure."

"His stomach?" said the Widow Pickle. "And the Fairy Queen? Well, the poor King, after all, may be quite like other men. I remember that my poor dear husband, Aurelius Pickle, used to have just such times with his stomach. Why, at times, he could eat nothing in the world but some of my Waffles."

"Your Waffles? What are those?" asked the Private Secretary. "Are they anything new?"

"Well, I can't say as to that," replied the Widow Pickle, "for my grandmother taught me how to make them. But I may say with some pride that the Governor of our State once ate of my Waffles and asked for two more, and in my family that was considered very high praise, indeed. I should like to try one on your King, if he is troubled with his stomach."

"That might be quite a fine idea," said the Private Secretary, "and if you don't object, I shall place the matter before his Royal Highness. I have never seen this that you call a Waffle, but if it will make the King forget his royal trouble it may be very much better for him and for all the rest of us."

"I should be very glad, indeed, to be of any slight a.s.sistance that I may," said the Widow Pickle modestly.

"But, hush!" whispered the Private Secretary. "He is coming this way.

May I suggest that just as he steps across that white line which you see marked upon the ground, you make him a deep reverence? I think you call it a courtesy in your country."

"Very well," said the Widow Pickle, "but I shall do no more than courtesy, and shall not make it too deep even in that case, for I myself come of a very proud family."

"Hush!" whispered the Private Secretary again. And now the King came forward, fixing upon them the keen glance of his royal eye. Seeing this, Lulu and Zuzu grasped their mother's gown in their hands and shrank back behind her, much frightened. The Private Secretary bowed flat upon the ground and began to say "Ah-h-h!" very fast.

The Widow courtesied as she was bid, looking up at the King. Indeed, she was willing to declare the King most extraordinary in appearance. He was about six feet or more in height, and very dark in complexion, almost coffee-brown in color, indeed. His hair, which was of a bright brick-dust red, was profuse, and stuck out around his head in a sort of fringe to the extent of two or three feet on each side. In his nose he wore a large ring, and his teeth shone as he opened his mouth, for in each tooth was set a fine large diamond. On his fingers were rings of highly-shining precious stones, like emeralds and diamonds and rubies, with others whose names the Widow could not guess. The King wore a garland of flowers about his neck, and carried in his hand a war club or heavy cane made of dark wood, with a large gold k.n.o.b at the end, and set thickly with shining stones about the handle. His feet were clad in bright-red slippers, whose points turned up nearly to his knees. A rich cloak of spotted fur hung across his shoulders, although the climate was so warm that he really was in small need of fur; so he allowed it to fall back carelessly, confining it with a cord, which latter pa.s.sed around his chest and shoulders. Around his neck also was hung a broad collar of cloth or leather, which was set as thick as it could hold with all manner of brilliant, shining stones. It was plainly to be seen that the Island of Gee-Whiz was a land very rich indeed in precious metals and gems, for the like of this display of gold and gems was never before seen in any country. As the Widow Pickle looked, she wondered where all these rich stones and all this gold came from; and mentally she made a resolution to discover this before very many days had pa.s.sed.

[Ill.u.s.tration]

CHAPTER XI

THE ROYAL HEREDITARY TWINS

"Madam," said the King, "who are you, if I may ask, and why do these young persons hide behind you? Let us have no delays and no excuses. If we are to get on in the least pleasantly, I beg you of all things to remember that I am King. And I need hardly state that the King of Gee-Whiz is something of a Monarch, if I may so express it."

"If it please your Majesty," said the Widow Pickle, "I am a Widow, and come from foreign parts."

"That," rejoined the King, "is a claim of no special distinction, for there are very many widows who come from foreign parts. Pray, whatever you do, don't bore me, for I am very easily bored, and when I am bored I am very bored indeed, as you will readily perceive a true King must be."

"That I can easily understand," said the Widow, "but I hope that my Twins will not bore you. Come, my children, and make your bow to the King."

In truth, it must be said that the Widow Pickle was more frightened at the King than she thought she was going to be.

"Yes," said the King, "let us see what your children look like."

At this, very much frightened, Zuzu and Lulu came out from behind their mother and bowed very low before the King, and they had the presence of mind to make the sound "Ah-h-h!" between their teeth as the Private Secretary and others had done. The King was pleased at this. But, at the next moment, he sprang back with an exclamation of surprise.

"What!" said he, "what is that I see? Is it possible that we have here two young persons with the Royal Hereditary Hair in true malazite blue and royal corazine green? Why, bless my soul and body, not since the reign of Gee-Whiz the Twelfth has a true double instance of this kind of hair been found in all our kingdom!"

"Do you like their hair, your Majesty?" asked the Widow Pickle.

"What a question!" exclaimed the King. "How can I help liking it? Did not the Royal Queen Mother of our family three thousand years ago have blue hair; and her husband, the reigning monarch, green? My dear madam, I look upon this as the most fortunate thing that has occurred during my entire reign. If I am not very much mistaken, we shall hear of strange and wonderful things before long."

"I am glad you like their hair," said the Widow Pickle proudly, "although I must say that in our country neither was considered a fashionable color."

"Yours must be a very strange country," said the King of Gee-Whiz, "and you must have a.s.sociated with extraordinarily ignorant persons, not to know that blue and green are the finest colors in the world for hair.

Really, never in my life have I seen such a delicate shade as this. I am so delighted that I shall at once, in accordance with the law of the Island, have this Prince and Princess measured for a brand-new throne each. Moreover, they shall each have one of the Fairy Wishing Wands, which are a part of the royal property. Whatever they wish they shall have three times a week--but of course no more, for that would not be lawful."

"Certainly not," said the Widow Pickle, although she did not in the least understand what all this was about.

"As to yourself, madam," resumed the Monarch, "although you claim to be the mother of these children, I do not observe that your own hair shows any token of the royal colors. In short, it is somewhat the color of my own. I regret to state that my hair, although once of a royal tint, was bleached by a sudden exposure to the sun by a careless nurse when I was young." He smiled sadly, but soon recovered. "This, however, shall not happen to this young Prince and Princess," he said, "for they shall have royal umbrellas and attendants to carry them when they walk abroad.

"Let me think," went on the King. "I forget what I was about to say. Was I going to banish you, my dear madam, or have you beheaded? Jiji, get up and tell me what I was going to say."

At this, the Private Secretary, who had been prostrate with his face upon the ground all this time, arose very quickly.

"Your Majesty," said he, "let me suggest that you neither banish nor behead this good lady. Her husband was a very remarkable man, a dealer in Chemical Substances. It was in this way, as I am a.s.sured, that he discovered the means of making a very wonderful dish known as the Waffle, which is considered to be a sovereign cure for what are called the high crimes and misdemeanors of the Royal Stomach."

[Ill.u.s.tration: They knew that their journey was over _Page 43_]

"It was not my husband," began the Widow Pickle indignantly; but the Private Secretary, bowing low, stepped in front of her, wriggling his hands behind him very hard.

"Her husband, your Majesty," said he quickly, "was a wonderful man. I have myself seen one of these Waffles, and they are extraordinarily fine to look upon, although I have never eaten one. That is reserved for royalty alone."

"I have eaten them often," exclaimed Zuzu.

"That," said the King, "is not remarkable, my dear, because you evidently are of royal blood. But, madam, tell me where can I get one of these Waffles to eat?"

"That," said the Widow Pickle, "is very easy, if you will but get me a Waffle-iron and permit me to build a fire here in front of the palace."

The King turned to the Private Secretary. "Jiji," said he, "get her a Waffle-iron at once. If there is no such thing, have it made by the royal smiths. Pray, madam, what is a Waffle-iron made of?"

"Of iron, your Majesty."

"That is too bad," said the King. "We have no such precious metal as that. I suppose we shall have to make it out of gold. Do you mind if we make it of gold?"