"You're fun to kiss." I tell him.

"And you are a mess." (Dallas hitting the nail on the head.) "I know, but I think you like that about me."

He laughs, "Yeah, you're right."

Sunday, August 28th I think you forgot love, silly.

3pm Dallas, Riley, Carson, Katie, Tyrese, Dawson, Mallory, a girl from my soccer team, and some other people are hanging out at the soccer field. Dawson and I were tossing a football back and forth to each other. The others are kicking a soccer ball around and throwing a frisbee back and forth. It's a gorgeous warm afternoon.

I was running with the ball, when Dawson jumped on me and tackled me to the ground. I guess after last night, he is my new best friend. He was sitting on top of me, tickling me, trying to get me to give up the football about the time Peyton and Aiden walk up. I'm screaming, laughing, having a lot of fun, but when I see Peyton scowl, cross her arms and march away, I'm thinking I'm in trouble. Or maybe she might be a little jealous. Although there is nothing to be jealous of. I mean, I don't think there is. Riley hooked up with that Audrey chick last night, so he and I are done. Sort of. I mean from a hooking up standpoint. Not that I would have hooked up with him in reality. I just sort of thought about it. (I don't even think Whitney is mentioned other than a dark-haired girl. Amazing how she grew into such a great antagonist and how she pushed Keatyn's growth.) And I wonder.

Dawson is still sitting on me, trying to grab the football. I let go of it.

"What? You just gave in?"

"Uh, I think you mean, gave up."

"Oh, haha yeah."

"Can I ask you a question?"

He gets off me, rolls onto the grass, laying down on his side next to me. He bends his arm to hold up his head and looks at me. "Shoot."

"What's better in a relationship? Friendship or hot sex?"

He reaches out and touches the tip of my nose. "I think you forgot love, silly." (This line caused me to fall for Dawson. Where he went from simply being Riley's brother and a way to get into the senior parties. And the fact that he used to date Whitney made it even more delicious. He was also a way to keep Keatyn and Aiden apart. I mean, Aiden had his chance and kinda blew it with his immaturity. Good thing he grows up in the series, too.) "Oh, yeah." I frown.

"Why is that cute little face frowning?"

"I'm not sure I know what love is. What it's supposed to be."

"Yeah, me either. I keep thinking if it was real love with me and Peyton that she would make it work. That it wouldn't be so hard."

"Right. That's what I'm wondering. Is real love easy or hard?"

"You make me hard." He grins and chuckles.

I smack him.

"What? I'm serious. You do. So, um, what exactly did you and my brother do? Like what happened between you?"

"Like sexually?"

"Yeah."

"Well he kissed me, we made out a little, he kissed like my shoulders and neck, and somehow managed to pull my robe sorta open for a minute, saw my bra like briefly, which really isn't that much different than a swimsuit top. He laid on top of me and the kissing was like kinda intense for a few minutes, but that was it."

"He got to see you in your underwear?"

"I was getting dressed for carnival thing and well, yeah, sorta. Like just my bra a bit."

"That leopard bra you had on the other night was so sexy. I don't remember much of the party, but I do remember that."

"That bra is pretty, but it's not that sexy really. It really covers up more than most of my bikinis."

His eyes glisten at me. "I think pretty much anything on you would be sexy. But you're right, it would probably look better off. And I probably shouldn't do this, but I am." (Seriously, I know many of you didn't like Dawson just because he kept K and A apart. But take a moment to appreciate the sweetness that is Dawson. And understand he was the perfect easy/rebound/buffer guy to date between Brooklyn and Aiden. And there was the jealousy it caused Whitney-which, ultimately, led to both K and Peyton's growth.) And then he leaned down and kissed me. Right there in the grass in front of everyone. And it wasn't awful at all.

He asked me if I wanted to go off campus with him for dinner. So we could plan his image revamp. But when I said sure, I'll see if Dallas can go, he was like, uh, I was thinking just us.

I'm redoing my makeup getting ready to go, when I get a text from Riley.

Sex God: You were kissing my brother in front of me.

Me: It was one kiss and you hooked up with Audrey last night.

Sex God: Because you were with Aiden. Having a million dances. (Reminds me of a million sunsets.) Me: It was 29.

Sex God: Why didn't you meet me at the party?

Me: I was upset kinda. Didn't feel like a party. Didn't want to go back to Aiden's room.

Sex God: Why?!! What happened? Did he try stuff you didn't want him to? I'll kick his ass, seriously. (Mad love for Riley here.) Me: It's a long story. And no, he was a total gentleman.

Sex God: So who upset you?

Me: Aiden. He confuses me. I have no idea what he thinks. One minute he's so romantic, the next he acts like he hates me.

Sex God: What are you doing now? Wanna go to the cafe with me, Dallas and Parker?

Me: Um. I'm going off campus for dinner.

Sex God: With the dance team or something?

Me: Uh. no.

Sex God: My brother?!

Me: Yeah.

Sex God: He asked you on a DATE!?

Me: No. It's pizza. He hung with me and Dallas last night.

Sex God: So you can party with Dallas and my brother, but not me?

Me: We smoked, chilled, I didn't know he was gonna be there. He was upset about Peyton. He loves her. We talked a lot about that. Ask Dallas if you don't believe me.

Sex God: So if he loves Peyton, why did he kiss you?

Me: Yeah, I'm not sure about that exactly. We're going to talk about love, true love, over pizza. And it was just a little kiss. Spur of the moment kind of thing.

Sex God: I wanted it to be you last night.

Me: Not enough to wait for me, apparently.

Sex God: I was drunk?

Me: Not what I heard. Too bad really, you did make me want you. But you're not patient enough for me. And then you did it with someone else, so we won't be doing it. Ever.

Sex God: I hate you.

Me: You should hate yourself. (Love their friendship. You can't be that honest with very many people.) Sex God: True :( Me: I still love you though. I'm not mad.

Sex God: Good :) My brother needs a nice girl. I don't really want it to be you, but I'm tired of Peyton screwing him around. She needs to get over it already.

Me: He's a nice guy, not the dick I first thought. And you two need to be closer.

Sex God: We are close.

Me: I mean like talk to each other close, not tease each other close.

Sex God: That'd be nice.

Me: I gotta go ttyl :) Monday, August 29th Why can't it be both?

Lunch My classes seem to be okay. I've got History, English, Ceramics, and then Math.

Riley and I sat together in History, both of us barely awake. Dallas, Parker, Jordan and Katie are in English. That class is gonna be fun.

Morgan my ex-roommate, Bryce and Jake are in my ceramics class, which cracked me up. I was like, What are you guys doing in ceramics?

And there were like, Haven't you ever seen the movie, Ghost? (I forgot how to use quote marks. Sorry.) And I was like, Yeah, and they were like, We both needed a fine arts class, and we figured playing around in the clay with hot girls sounded like a good idea last year when we signed up, but the teacher seems a little too serious about it if you ask me. And there's no hot girls in the class.

"Oh, gee, thanks." I say.

"Well besides you of course, but I think Peyton would kill me if she heard me say that."

"Do you like her? Everyone says you kissed at the dance and were making out at the party that night."

"Yeah, we did and yeah, she's like gorgeous."

"So what about this college boyfriend she has?" I ask Jake, who is pretty much gorgeous himself. He's tall, has brown hair with just a hint of red in it and cute freckles.

"She said they can date other people." He shrugs.

"You know her and Dawson are still in love with each other, right?"

"I don't know, and I don't really care. They aren't together, it's been months, and she's hot. So I figure I'll step up my game for that."

"What do you mean?"

"She's a hot piece, if you know what I mean." He pushes his elbow into my arm, grins at me.

Like I couldn't possible know what he means and his grin somehow clarified it for me.

"So you want her for sex, or you actually like her?"

"Why can't it be both?"

I contemplate that.

Can it be both?

I walk with Bryce and Jake to lunch and end up sitting with them. And Peyton. And Dawson, who wrapped his arm around my neck and whispered, "You look adorable today," in my ear, and then sat down next to me.

Peyton glares at me, but then pretends to be interested in Jake, or maybe she is, who can tell.

Riley and Dallas come and sit with us as well. (I love it so much better in Stalk Me when she is invited to sit at this table and doesn't want to because of how important the lunch table was to Vanessa and RiAnne. How she wanted to avoid it at all costs.) The cafe food is pretty good, but I can already tell, it would be way easy to overeat here. I don't think I have ever seen so many empty calories all together in one place. And although they told us they recently "revamped" the food selections to make them more healthy, all that means is they added a salad bar.

Today's main menu selection is Fried Chicken strips, French Fries and Corn.

Let's see, Fried, Fried, and No Nutritional Value.

Fantastic.

Our zone diet following chef would be in hysterics! But this morning was crazy, and I barely had time to stand in line to get a Skinny Soy Chi Latte before rushing off to class. I'd really love an egg white omelet with some asparagus and baby new potatoes, but I don't think that's what I'm gonna be getting. Instead I settled for a banana and a whole wheat bagel. (Poor Keatyn. Going from having a chef to a school lunch line. It must have been so traumatic. This part was cut from the book but her assessing the food makes me laugh.) Oh, the reason it was crazy this morning was because I stood there in my uniform and tried to decide if I looked amazing and edgy, or if I just looked dumb. The outfit was figured out by Kym, the stylist, and she took pictures of thirty different uniform and accessory combinations and put them in a album for me. So I would remember, but still, I wasn't sure. Today I am wearing the little pleated plaid skort, a blue and white pinstriped fitted oxford and the navy blazer. Then I have on tall off white lace over-the-knee socks and platform mary janes. My accessories are a combination of long gold and pearl necklaces. I wasn't sure about the lace socks. But Katie loved them and then was like, Why does your uniform look so cute on you and so stupid on me? And I knew really it was because her blazer hadn't been nipped in at the waist and was a bit too long on her sleeves, her skirt was way too long, and her blouse probably a size too big. So I had her roll up the waist band of her skirt, put a tank under the blouse and wear it unbuttoned and then threw a chunky silver necklace on her. She thought it looked amazing, so I put on my confidence and rushed to class. (Let's take a moment to revel in the fact that I created 21 different uniform looks that were all completely different and 14 boards that were her dance uniforms and school spirit. If you followed the clothing boards of Keatyn's style, we did a total of 133 boards for the series. I spent hours putting together her outfits and creating a specific style for her.) Also, I was taking pics of myself to send to Brooklyn, and it took me awhile to get one that had the right look. I wanted to look sexy, but still cute. Oh and I definitely had my shirt on. Mom says she would kill me herself if she found out I sent anyone naked pics. Because surely they would end up all over TMZ. And then they would start saying she needs to be home with me and not off making movies and what a horrible mother she is. If only those writers knew how many of their own daughters were doing the same thing. And she is not a horrible mother. She's awesome, so I don't want to cause her any trouble.

And speaking of trouble, I'm a little irritated I went to all the trouble to send him a decent pic and have yet to get a response, and I'm not sure what that means. But then I remember, durr, it's only 9am at home, and that means he's either out on his board or sleeping.

I still haven't seen the hottie today, but as I'm heading out to go to my next class, French 2, I spy him. He's dumping his trash into a trash barrel.

And looks way too sexy doing it. (How many guys look hot throwing their lunch in the trash? That should tell her something.) But, still. I'll be damned if I am going to speak to him. And I certainly don't want to look like I'm creeping on him.

And that becomes an easy task when Dallas comes wandering over, puts his arm around my shoulder, says, "Let's blow this popsicle stand," and walks me to my next class. Dallas cracks me up.

He's going on and on about how he was able to see up some junior girl's skirt in his last class. And how her panties were bright neon blue, and how she just didn't look like the kind of girl to wear neon blue.

Then he starts trying to guess the color of underwear every girl we pass. We get to my class and he says, "So what color are yours today?"

"I thought the whole point of your little game was to guess."