"Oh, I don't hardly know what it _is_ all about. My sales have been falling off, all rightee. But, good Lord! that's no fault of mine. I work my territory jus' as hard as I ever did, but I can't meet the compet.i.tion of the floor-wax people. They're making an auto polish now--better article at a lower price--and what can I do? They got a full line, varnish, cleaner, polish, swell window displays, national advertising, swell discounts--everything; and I can't buck compet.i.tion like that. And then a lot of the salesmen at our shop are jealous of me, and one thing and another. Well, now I'll go down and spit the old man in the eye couple o' times, and get canned, unless I can talk him out of his bad acting. Oh, I'll throw a big bluff. I'll be the little misunderstood boy, but I don't honestly think I can put anything across on him. I'm-- Oh, h.e.l.l, I guess I'm getting old. I ain't got the pep I used to have. Not but what J. Eddie Schwirtz can still sell goods, but I can't talk up to the boss like I could once. I gotta feel some sympathy at the home office. And I by G.o.d deserve it--way I've worked and slaved for that bunch of cutthroats, and now-- Sure, that's the way it goes in this world. I tell you, I'm gonna turn socialist!"

"Ed--listen, Ed. Please, oh, _please_ don't be offended now; but don't you think perhaps the boss thinks you drink too much?"

"How could he? I don't drink very much, and you know it. I don't hardly touch a drop, except maybe just for sociability. G.o.d! this temperance wave gets my goat! Lot of hot-air females telling me what I can do and what I can't do--fella that knows when to drink and when to stop. Drink?

Why, you ought to see some of the boys! There's Burke McCullough. Say, I bet he puts away forty drinks a day, if he does one, and I don't know that it hurts him any; but me--"

"Yes, I know, dear. I was just thinking--maybe your boss is one of the temperance cranks," Una interrupted. Mr. Schwirtz's arguments regarding the privileges of a manly man sounded very familiar. This did not seem to be a moment for letting her husband get into the full swing of them.

She begged: "What will you do if they let you out? I wish there was something I could do to help."

"Dun'no'. There's a pretty close agreement between a lot of the leading paint-and-varnish people--gentleman's agreement--and it's pretty hard to get in any place if you're in Dutch with any of the others. Well, I'm going down now and watch 'em gwillotine me. You better not wait to have dinner with me. I'll be there late, thrashing all over the carpet with the old man, and then I gotta see some fellas and start something. Come here, Una."

He stood up. She came to him, and when he put his two hands on her shoulders she tried to keep her aversion to his touch out of her look.

He shook his big, bald head. He was unhappy and his eyes were old.

"Nope," he said; "nope. Can't be done. You mean well, but you haven't got any fire in you. Kid, can't you understand that there are wives who've got so much pa.s.sion in 'em that if their husbands came home clean-licked, like I am, they'd--oh, their husbands would just naturally completely forget their troubles in love--real love, with fire in it. Women that aren't ashamed of having bodies.... But, oh, Lord! it ain't your fault. I shouldn't have said anything. There's lots of wives like you. More 'n one man's admitted his wife was like that, when he's had a couple drinks under his belt to loosen his tongue. You're not to blame, but-- I'm sorry.... Don't mind my grouch when I came in. I was so hot, and I'd been worrying and wanted to blame things onto somebody....

Don't wait for me at dinner. If I ain't here by seven, go ahead and feed. Good-by."

- 2

All she knew was that at six a woman's purring voice on the telephone asked if Mr. Eddie Schwirtz had returned to town yet. That he did not reappear till after midnight. That his return was heralded by wafting breezes with whisky laden. That, in the morning, there was a smear of rice powder on his right shoulder and that he was not so urgent in his attentions to her as ordinarily. So her sympathy for him was lost. But she discovered that she was neither jealous nor indignant--merely indifferent.

He told her at breakfast that, with his usual discernment, he had guessed right. When he had gone to the office he had been discharged.

"Went out with some business acquaintances in the evening--got to pull all the wires I can now," he said.

She said nothing.

- 3

They had less than two hundred dollars ahead. But Mr. Schwirtz borrowed a hundred from his friend, Burke McCullough, and did not visibly have to suffer from want of highb.a.l.l.s, cigars, and Turkish baths. From the window of their room Una used to see him cross the street to the cafe entrance of the huge Saffron Hotel--and once she saw him emerge from it with a fluffy blonde. But she did not attack him. She was spellbound in a strange apathy, as in a dream of swimming on forever in a warm and slate-hued sea. She was confident that he would soon have another position. He had over-ridden her own opinions about business--the opinions of the underling who never sees the great work as a rounded whole--till she had come to have a timorous respect for his commercial ability.

Apparently her wifely respect was not generally shared in the paint business. At least Mr. Schwirtz did not soon get his new position.

The manager of the hotel came to the room with his bill and pressed for payment. And after three weeks--after a night when he had stayed out very late and come home reeking with perfume--Mr. Schwirtz began to hang about the room all day long and to soak himself in the luxury of complaining despair.

Then came the black days.

There were several scenes (during which she felt like a beggar about to be arrested) between Mr. Schwirtz and the landlord, before her husband paid part of a bill whose size astounded her.

Mr. Schwirtz said that he was "expecting something to turn up--nothin'

he could do but wait for some telephone calls." He sat about with his stockinged feet c.o.c.ked up on the bed, reading detective stories till he fell asleep in his chair. He drank from unlabeled pint flasks of whisky all day. Once, when she opened a bureau drawer of his by mistake, she saw half a dozen whisky-flasks mixed with grimy collars, and the sour smell nauseated her. But on food--they had to economize on that! He took her to a restaurant of fifteen-cent breakfasts and twenty-five-cent dinners. It was the "parlor floor" of an old brownstone house--two rooms, with eggy table-cloths, and moldings of dusty stucco.

She avoided his presence as much as possible. Mrs. Wade, the practical dressmaker, who was her refuge among the women of the hotel, seemed to understand what was going on, and gave Una a key to her room. Here Una sat for hours. When she went back to their room quarrels would spring up apropos of anything or nothing.

The fault was hers as much as his. She was no longer trying to conceal her distaste, while he, who had a marital conscience of a sort, was almost pathetic in his apologies for being unable to "show her a good time." And he wanted her soothing. He was more and more afraid of her as the despair of the jobless man in the hard city settled down on him. He wanted her to agree with him that there was a conspiracy against him.

She listened to him and said nothing, till he would burst out in abuse:

"You women that have been in business simply ain't fit to be married.

You think you're too good to help a man. Yes, even when you haven't been anything but dub stenographers. I never noticed that you were such a whale of a success! I don't suppose you remember how you used to yawp to me about the job being too much for you! And yet when I want a little sympathy you sit there and hand me the frozen stare like you were the president of the Standard Oil Company and I was a b.u.m office-boy. Yes, sir, I tell you business simply unfits a skirt for marriage."

"No," she said, "not for marriage that has any love and comradeship in it. But I admit a business woman doesn't care to put up with being a cow in a stable."

"What the devil do you mean--"

"Maybe," she went on, "the business women will bring about a new kind of marriage in which men will _have_ to keep up respect and courtesy.... I wonder--I wonder how many millions of women in what are supposed to be happy homes are sick over being chambermaids and mistresses till they get dulled and used to it. n.o.body will ever know. All these books about women being emanc.i.p.ated--you'd think marriage had changed entirely. Yet, right now, in 1912, in Panama and this hotel--not changed a bit. The business women must simply _compel_ men to--oh, to shave!"

She went out (perhaps she slammed the door a little, in an unemanc.i.p.ated way) to Mrs. Wade's room.

That discussion was far more gentle and coherent than most of their quarrels.

It may have been rather to the credit of Mr. Schwirtz--it may have been a remnant of the clean pride which the boy Eddie Schwirtz must once have had, that, whenever she hinted that she would like to go back to work--he raged: "So you think I can't support you, eh? My G.o.d! I can stand insults from all my old friends--the fellas that used to be tickled to death to have me buy 'em a drink, but now they dodge around the corner as though they thought I was going to try to borrow four bits from 'em--I can stand their insults, but, by G.o.d! it _is_ pretty hard on a man when his own wife lets him know that she don't think he can support her!"

And he meant it.

She saw that, felt his resentment. But she more and more often invited an ambition to go back to work, to be independent and busy, no matter how weary she might become. To die, if need be, in the struggle.

Certainly that death would be better than being choked in muck.... One of them would have to go to work, anyway.

She discovered that an old acquaintance of his had offered him an eighteen-dollar-a-week job as a clerk in a retail paint-shop, till he should find something better. Mr. Schwirtz was scornful about it, and his scorn, which had once intimidated Una, became grotesquely absurd to her.

Then the hotel-manager came with a curt ultimatum: "Pay up or get out,"

he said.

Mr. Schwirtz spent an hour telephoning to various acquaintances, trying to raise another hundred dollars. He got the promise of fifty. He shaved, put on a collar that for all practical purposes was quite clean, and went out to collect his fifty as proudly as though he had earned it.

Una stared at herself in the mirror over the bureau, and said, aloud: "I don't believe it! It isn't you, Una Golden, that worked, and paid your debts. You can't, dear, you simply _can't_ be the wife of a man who lives by begging--a dirty, useless, stupid beggar. Oh, no, no! You wouldn't do that--you _couldn't_ marry a man like that simply because the job had exhausted you. Why, you'd die at work first. Why, if you married him for board and keep, you'd be a prost.i.tute--you'd be marrying him just because he was a 'good provider.' And probably, when he didn't provide any more, you'd be quitter enough to leave him--maybe for another man. You couldn't do that. I don't believe life could bully you into doing that.... Oh, I'm hysterical; I'm mad. I can't believe I am what I am--and yet I am!... Now he's getting that fifty and buying a drink--"

- 4

Mr. Schwirtz actually came home with forty-five out of the fifty intact.

That was because he wanted to be able to pay the hotel-manager and insultingly inform him that they were going to leave.... The manager bore up under the blow.... They did move to a "furnished housekeeping-room" on West Nineteenth Street--in the very district of gray rooms and pathetic landladies where Una had sought a boarding-house after the death of her mother.

As furnished housekeeping-rooms go, theirs was highly superior. Most of them are carpetless, rusty and small of coal-stove, and filled with c.o.c.kroaches and the smell of carbolic acid. But the _maison_ Schwirtz was almost clean. It had an impa.s.sioned green carpet, a bedspring which scarcely sagged at all, a gas-range, and at least a dozen vases with rococo handles and blobs of gilt.

"Gee! this ain't so bad," declared Mr. Schwirtz. "We can cook all our eats here, and live on next to nothing per, till the big job busts loose."

With which he prepared to settle down to a life of leisure. He went out and bought a pint of whisky, a pound of steak, a pound of cheese, a loaf of bread, six cigars, and for her a bar of fudge.

So far as Una could calculate, he had less than forty dollars. She burst out on him. She seemed to be speaking with the brusque voice of an accomplishing man. In that voice was all she had ever heard from executives; all the subconsciously remembered man-driving force of the office world. She ordered him to go and take the job in the paint-shop--at eighteen dollars a week, or eight dollars a week. She briefly, but thoroughly, depicted him as alcohol-soaked, poor white trash. She drove him out, and when he was gone she started to make their rooms presentable, with an energy she had not shown for months. She began to dust, to plan curtains for the room, to plan to hide the bric-a-brac, to plan to rent a typewriter and get commercial copying to do.

If any one moment of life is more important than the others, this may have been her crisis, when her husband had become a begging pauper and she took charge; began not only to think earnest, commonplace, little Una thoughts about "mastering life," but actually to master it.