The Internet Is A Playground - Part 26
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Part 26

So then suns are really clouds of light?

Yes, and then they rain sunshine.

25 minutes on Chatroulette is like a drill to the head The problem with Chatroulette.com and other video-based communication is the fact that people can see you. As it takes me at least four hours just to do my hair, this is simply not practical. I generally write in tracksuit pants and a T-shirt while eating pizza, which would be unfair to the other parties to have to view. Having heard a lot about Chatroulette, I decided to have a look. For every ten video connections, eight of them were fat people playing with their p.e.n.i.ses. Apart from a couple of interesting people I met, it was possibly the most pointless website I have ever been on. and other video-based communication is the fact that people can see you. As it takes me at least four hours just to do my hair, this is simply not practical. I generally write in tracksuit pants and a T-shirt while eating pizza, which would be unfair to the other parties to have to view. Having heard a lot about Chatroulette, I decided to have a look. For every ten video connections, eight of them were fat people playing with their p.e.n.i.ses. Apart from a couple of interesting people I met, it was possibly the most pointless website I have ever been on.

Tom's haircut rumors proven unfounded Rumors that Thomas takes a photo of Carol Brady to the hairdresser have been proven unfounded. Here is finally conclusive evidence that there are indeed considerable differences between the two haircuts. Tom's hair is a shade darker and Carol's has slightly more body-possibly due to the two using different shampoo and conditioning products-Carol uses Johnson & Johnson brand, while Thomas uses the natural oils from his body, which Lillian harvests for him using a custom-made spatula.

Note: This page does not take into account the dimensional differences between Carol's head and Tom's head.

Mattel Wednesday using the Magic 8-Ball to answer e-mails I sent an e-mail to a friend recently, asking several different questions, and he replied with the single answer, "Yes, probably." It was obvious that he had either not bothered reading the e-mail or could not be bothered answering my questions. The next day I replied to e-mails by using a Mattel Magic 8-Ball to generate random answers.

From: Simon Simon Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9:38 a.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 9:38 a.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: No Subject No Subject

Have you got a typeface called Garamond Semibold? I have the Garamond and bold and italic but not the semibold. I am doing a poster for Cathy and I reckon garamond would look good.

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10:02 a.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10:02 a.m.

To: Simon Simon Subject: Re: No Subject Re: No Subject

As I see it, yes.

From: Simon Simon Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10:43 a.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10:43 a.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Garamond Garamond

Which one? Yes you have the typeface or that it would look good on a poster?

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10:52 a.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 10:52 a.m.

To: Simon Simon Subject: Re: Garamond Re: Garamond

Concentrate and ask again.

From: Simon Simon Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11:14 a.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11:14 a.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Garamond Re: Re: Garamond

What the f.u.c.k? I need the typeface Garamond. Have you got it or not?

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11:18 a.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11:18 a.m.

To: Simon Simon Subject: Re: Re: Re: Garamond Re: Re: Re: Garamond

You may rely on it.

From: Simon Simon Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11:29 a.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 11:29 a.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Garamond Re: Re: Re: Re: Garamond

Send me the typeface d.i.c.khead.

From: Mark Pierce Mark Pierce Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2:08 p.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2:08 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Hey Hey

Hey. Are you at work?

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2:25 p.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2:25 p.m.

To: Mark Pierce Mark Pierce Subject: Re: Hey Re: Hey

Signs point to yes.

From: Mark Pierce Mark Pierce Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2:53 p.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 2:53 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Hey Re: Re: Hey

What? Can you drop over on your way home from work and help me lift a piece of gla.s.s up onto a table? It is too heavy to lift.

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3:22 p.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3:22 p.m.

To: Mark Pierce Mark Pierce Subject: Re: Re: Re: Hey Re: Re: Re: Hey

My sources say no.

From: Mark Pierce Mark Pierce Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3:49 p.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 3:49 p.m.

To: David Thorne David Thorne Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Hey Re: Re: Re: Re: Hey

Are you serious? I tried lifting it a bit at a time and sliding books under it but I need heaps more books. Can you come for a quick drive now?

From: David Thorne David Thorne Date: Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 4:02 p.m. Wednesday 4 Feb 2009 4:02 p.m.