"No!" Deborah screamed, wild-eyed, leaping up and diving onto the folder like it was a fumbled football, hugging it to her chest, curling her body around it.

I sat stunned, hand still reaching toward the pillow where the envelope had been, stammering, "I... I mean ... I wasn't ..."

"That's right you wasn't!" Deborah snapped. "What were you gonna do to my mother medical records?!"

"I thought you put them there for me ... I'm sorry ... I don't need to read them now. ... It's fine."

"We ain't ready for that!" Deborah snapped, her eyes wide and panicked. She grabbed her bag, stuffed all her things back inside it, then ran for the door.

I was stunned. The woman I'd been lying next to for days-laughing, elbowing, consoling-was now running from me like I was out to get her.

"Deborah!" I called after her. "I'm not trying to do anything bad. I just want to learn your mother's story, same as you."

She whipped around, her eyes still panicked, "I don't know who to trust," she hissed, then ran out the door, slamming it behind her.

CHAPTER 30

Zakariyya

The next day, Deborah called my room from the front desk as if nothing had happened. "Come on downstairs," she said. "It's time you went and talked to Zakariyya. He been askin about you."

I was not excited to meet Zakariyya. I'd heard several times that of all the Lackses, he was by far the angriest about what happened to his mother, and that he was looking for any revenge he could get. I hoped to see the age of thirty, and it seemed like being the first white person to show up at Zakariyya's apartment asking questions about his mother might interfere with that.

Outside, as I followed Deborah to her car, she said, "Things never went quite right with Zakariyya after he got out of jail. But don't worry. I'm pretty sure he's ready to talk about our mother again."

"You're pretty sure?" I said.

"Well, I used to make copies of information about our mother and give it to him, but he got enough to where one day he cuss me out. He ran at me screamin, 'I don't wanna hear no more stuff about my mother and that d.a.m.n doctor who done raped her cells!' We haven't really talked about it since." She shrugged. "But he says he's okay with you askin questions today though. We just got to catch him before he start drinkin."

When we got to Deborah's car, her two grandsons-Davon and Alfred, who were just shy of their eighth and fourth birthdays-sat in the backseat screaming at each other. "Them are my two little hearts," Deborah said. They were strikingly beautiful children, with huge smiles and wide, dark eyes. Alfred sat in the back wearing two pairs of jet-black plastic sungla.s.ses, one on top of the other, each about three times too big for his face.

"Miss Rebecca!" he yelled as we climbed into the car. "Miss Rebecca!"

I turned around. "Yes?"

"I love you."

"Thank you."

I turned back to Deborah, who was telling me how I shouldn't say something or other around Zakariyya.

"Miss Rebecca! Miss Rebecca!" Alfred yelled again, slowly pushing both pairs of sungla.s.ses down to the tip of his nose and wiggling his eyebrows at me.

"You're mine," he said.

"Oh knock that off!" Deborah yelled, swatting at him from the front seat. "Oh Lord, he just like his father, Mr. Ladies' Man." She shook her head. "My son always out rippin and runnin them streets, drinkin and druggin just like his father. I worry he gonna get himself in trouble-I don't know what gonna happen to Little Alfred then. I'm afraid he learnin too much already." Little Alfred was always beating up on Davon, even though Davon was older and bigger, but Davon never hit back without Deborah's permission.

When I asked the boys to tell me about their uncle Zakariyya, Davon puffed up his chest, sucked in his nose so his nostrils vanished, then yelled "GET THE h.e.l.l OUT OF HERE!" his voice deeper than I thought possible for an eight-year-old. He and Alfred burst out laughing and collapsed into a pile in the backseat. "Like one of them wrestlers on TV!" Davon said, gasping for breath.

Alfred screamed and bounced in his seat. "WWF!! WWF!!"

Deborah looked at me and smiled. "Don't worry," she said. "I know how to handle him. I just keep remindin him to separate: Rebecca's not one of them researchers, she's not working for John Hopkin. She workin for herself. He kept sayin, 'I'm all right, I won't do nothing crazy' But if I detect anything wrong we'll leave right back outta there."

We drove for a few blocks in silence, pa.s.sing boarded-up storefronts, rows of fast-food restaurants and liquor stores. At one point, Davon pointed to his school and told us about the metal detectors and how they locked all the students inside during cla.s.ses. Eventually Deborah leaned over to me and whispered, "Younger brother always felt like he was cheated out of life, because when my mother had him, four months later, that's when the sickness broke down on her. Brother's got a lot of anger. You just got to make sure you say his name right."

I'd been saying it wrong, she told me, and I couldn't do that in front of him. He p.r.o.nounced it Zuh-CAR-ee-uh, not Zack-a-RYE-uh. Bobbette and Sonny had a hard time remembering that, so they called him Abdul, one of his middle names. But only when he wasn't around.

"Whatever you do, don't call him Joe," Deborah told me. "A friend of Lawrence's called him Joe one Thanksgiving and Zakariyya knocked that man out right into his mashed potatoes."

Zakariyya was about to turn fifty and lived in an a.s.sisted-living facility that Deborah had helped him get into when he was on the streets. He qualified because of his deafness and the fact that he was nearly blind without gla.s.ses. He hadn't lived there long, but was already on probationary status for being loud and aggressive with the other residents.

As Deborah and the boys and I walked from the car toward the front door, Deborah cleared her throat loudly and nodded toward a hulk of a man hobbling from the building in khaki pants. He was five feet eight inches tall and weighed just under four hundred pounds. He wore bright blue orthopedic sandals, a faded Bob Marley T-shirt, and a white baseball hat that said, HAM, BACON, SAUSAGE.

"Hey Zakariyya!" Deborah yelled, waving her hands above her head.

Zakariyya stopped walking and looked at us. His black hair was buzzed close to his head, his face smooth and youthful like Deborah's except for his brow, which was creased from decades of scowling. Beneath thick plastic gla.s.ses, his eyes were swollen, bloodshot, and surrounded by deep dark circles. One hand leaned on a metal cane identical to Deborah's, the other held a large paper plate with at least a pint of ice cream on it, probably more. Under his arm, he'd folded several newspaper ad sections.

"You told me you'd be here in an hour," he snapped.

"Uh ... yeah ... sorry," Deborah mumbled. "There wasn't any traffic."

"I'm not ready yet," he said, then grabbed the bundle of newspaper from under his arm and smacked Davon hard across the face with it. "Why'd you bring them?" he yelled. "You know I don't like no kids around."

Deborah grabbed Davon's head and pressed it to her side, rubbing his cheek and stammering that their parents had to work and no one else could take them, but she swore they'd be quiet, wouldn't they? Zakariyya turned and walked to a bench in front of his building without saying another word.

Deborah tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to another bench on the opposite side of the building's entrance, a good fifteen feet from Zakariyya. She whispered, "Sit over here with me," then yelled, "Come on boys, why don't you show Miss Rebecca how fast you can run!"

Alfred and Davon raced around the concrete cul-de-sac in front of Zakariyya's building, yelling, "Look at me! Look at me! Take my picture!"

Zakariyya sat eating his ice cream and reading his ads like we didn't exist. Deborah glanced at him every few seconds, then back to me, then the grandkids, then Zakariyya again. At one point she crossed her eyes and stuck her tongue out at Zakariyya, but he didn't see.

Finally, Zakariyya spoke.

"You got the magazine?" he asked, staring into the street.

Zakariyya had told Deborah he wanted to read the Johns Hopkins Magazine story I wrote about their mother before he'd talk to me, and he wanted me sitting next to him while he read it. Deborah nudged me toward his bench, then jumped up saying she and the boys would wait upstairs for us, because it was better if we talked outside in the nice weather rather than being cooped up alone inside. It was in the nineties with dizzying humidity, but neither of us wanted me going in that apartment alone with him.

"I'll be watching from that window up there," Deborah whispered. She pointed several floors up. "If anything funny starts, just wave and I'll come down."

As Deborah and the boys walked inside the building, I sat beside Zakariyya and started telling him why I was there. Without looking at me or saying a word, he took the magazine from my hand and began reading. My heart pounded each time he sighed, which was often.

"d.a.m.n!" he yelled suddenly, pointing at a photo caption that said Sonny was Henrietta's youngest son. "He ain't youngest! I am!" He slammed the magazine down and glared at it as I said of course I knew he was the youngest, and the magazine did the captions, not me.