Finally, I just walk out the door. Stuart follows me, doesn't comment that I didn't park in front of Hilly's house or in Hilly's driveway. When we get to my truck, we both stop, stare at the fifteen-foot tractor hooked behind my vehicle.

"You pulled that thing all by yourself?"

I sigh. I guess it's because I'm a big person and have never felt pet.i.te or particularly feminine or girly, but that tractor. It just seems to sum up so much.

"That is the funniest d.a.m.n looking thing I have ever seen," he says.

I step away from him. "Hilly can take you," I say. "Hilly will drive you." He turns and focuses on me for what, I'm pretty sure, is the first time all night. After several long moments of standing there being looked at, my eyes fill with tears. I'm just so tired.

"Ah, s.h.i.t," he says and his body loosens. "Look, I told Hilly I wasn't ready for any d.a.m.n date."

"Don't . . ." I say, backing away from him, and I head back to the house.

SUNDAY MORNING I GET up EARLY, before Hilly and William, before the kids and the church traffic. I drive home with the tractor rumbling behind me. The fertilizer smell gives me a hangover even though I had nothing but water last night.

I'd gone back in Hilly's house last night, Stuart trailing behind me. Knocking on Hilly's bedroom door, I asked William, who already had a mouth full of toothpaste, would he mind driving Stuart home. I'd walked upstairs to the guest room before he even answered.

I step over Daddy's dogs on the porch, go into my parents' house. As soon as I see Mother, I give her a hug. When she tries to let go, I can't let her.

"What is it, Skeeter? You didn't catch Hilly's stomach bug, did you?"

"No, I'm fine." I wish I could tell her about my night. I feel guilty for not being nicer to her, for not needing her until my own life turns bad. I feel bad for wishing Constantine was here instead.

Mother pats my windblown hair down since it must be adding at least two inches to my height. "You sure you're not feeling bad?"

"I'm alright, Mama." I am too tired to resist. I ache like someone kicked me in the stomach. With boots on. It won't go away.

"You know," she says, smiling, "I think this might be the one for Carlton."

"Good, Mama," I say. "I'm really glad for him."

AT ELEVEN O'CLOCK the next morning, the phone rings. Luckily, I'm in the kitchen and pick it up.

"Miss Skeeter?"

I stand very still, then look out at Mother examining her checkbook at the dining room table. Pascagoula is pulling a roast out of the oven. I go into the pantry and shut the door.

"Aibileen?" I whisper.

She's quiet a second and then she blurts it out. "What if--what if you don't like what I got to say? I mean, about white peoples."

"I--I . . . this isn't about my opinion," I say. "It doesn't matter how I feel."

"But how I know you ain't gone get mad, turn around on me?"

"I don't . . . I guess you'll just have to . . . trust me." I hold my breath, hoping, waiting. There is a long pause.

"Law have mercy. I reckon I'm on do it."

"Aibileen." My heart is pounding. "You have no idea how much I appreciate--"

"Miss Skeeter, we gone have to be real careful."

"We will, I promise. promise."

"And you gone have to change my name. Mine, Miss Leefolt's, everbody's."

"Of course." I should've mentioned this. "When can we meet? Where Where can we meet?" can we meet?"

"Can't do it in the white neighborhood, that's for sure. I guess . . . we gone have to do it over at my house."

"Do you know any other maids who might be interested?" I ask, even though Missus Stein has only agreed to read one. But I have to be ready, on the slim chance she likes it.

Aibileen is quiet a moment. "I guess I could ask Minny. But she ain't real keen on talking to white peoples."

"Minny? You mean . . . Missus Walters' old maid," I say, feeling suddenly how incestuous this is turning. I wouldn't just be peering into Elizabeth's life, but Hilly's too.

"Minny got her some stories. Sho nuff."

"Aibileen," I say. "Thank you. Oh, thank you."

"Yes ma'am."

"I just . . . I have to ask you. What changed your mind?"

Aibileen doesn't even pause. "Miss Hilly," she says.

I go quiet, thinking of Hilly's bathroom plan and accusing the maid of stealing and her talk of diseases. The name comes out flat, bitter as a bad pecan.

MINNY.

chapter 10.

I WALK INTO WORK with one thing on my mind. Today is the first day of December and while the rest of the United States is dusting off their manger scenes and pulling out their old stinky stockings, I've got another man I'm waiting on. And it's not Santy Claus and it's not the Baby Jesus. It's Mister Johnny Foote, Jr., who will learn that Minny Jackson is his maid on Christmas Eve. WALK INTO WORK with one thing on my mind. Today is the first day of December and while the rest of the United States is dusting off their manger scenes and pulling out their old stinky stockings, I've got another man I'm waiting on. And it's not Santy Claus and it's not the Baby Jesus. It's Mister Johnny Foote, Jr., who will learn that Minny Jackson is his maid on Christmas Eve.

I am waiting on the twenty-fourth like a court date. I don't know what Mister Johnny's going to do when he finds out I'm working here. Maybe he'll say, Good! Come clean my kitchen anytime! Here's some money! But I'm not that stupid. This secret-keeping is way too fishy for him to be some smiling whitey wanting to give me a raise. There's a good chance I might not have a job come Christmas Day.

It's eating me up, not knowing, but what I do know is, a month ago, I decided there had to be a more dignified way to die than having a heart attack squatting on top of a white lady's toilet lid. And after all that, it wasn't even Mister Johnny that came home, it was just the d.a.m.n meter man.

But there wasn't much relief when it was over. What scared me worse was Miss Celia. Afterwards, during her cooking lesson, she was still shaking so bad, she couldn't even measure the salt in a spoon.

MONDAY COMES and I can'T stop thinking about Louvenia Brown's grandson, Robert. He got out of the hospital this weekend, went to live with Louvenia, what with his parents already dead and all. Last night, when I went over there to take them a caramel cake, Robert had a cast on his arm and bandages over his eyes. "Oh, Louvenia Louvenia," was all I could say when I saw him. Robert was laid up on the sofa asleep. They'd shaved half his head to operate. Louvenia, with all her troubles, still wanted to know how each and every person in my family was doing. And when Robert started to stir, she asked if I wouldn't mind going on home because Robert wakes up screaming. Terrified and remembering all over again that he's blind. She thought it might bother me. I can't stop thinking about it.

"I'm going to the store after while," I say to Miss Celia. I hold the grocery list out for her to see. Every Monday we do this. She gives me the grocery cash and when I get home I push the receipt in her face. I want her to see that every penny of change matches the paper. Miss Celia just shrugs but I keep those tickets safe in a drawer in case there's ever any question.

Minny cooking: 1. Ham with pineapples 2. Black-eyed peas 3. Sweet potatoes 4. Apple pie 5. Biscuits Miss Celia cooking: 1. b.u.t.ter beans "But I did b.u.t.ter beans last week."

"Learn those, everything else come easy."

"I guess it's better anyway," she says. "I can sit down and be still when I'm sh.e.l.ling."

Almost three months and the fool still can't boil coffee. I pull out my pie dough, want to get it ready before I go to the store.

"Can we do a chocolate pie this time? I love chocolate pie."

I grit my teeth. "I don't know how to cook no chocolate pie," I lie. Never. Never again after Miss Hilly. Never. Never again after Miss Hilly.

"You can't? Gosh, I thought you could cook anything. Maybe we ought to get us a recipe."

"What else kind a pie you thinking about?"

"Well, what about that peach pie you did that time?" she says, pouring a gla.s.s of milk. "That was real good."

"Them peaches from Mexico. Peaches ain't in season around here yet."

"But I saw them advertised in the paper."

I sigh. Nothing is easy with her, but at least she's off the chocolate. "One thing you got to know, things is best when they in season. You don't cook pumpkins in the summer, you don't cook peaches in the fall. You can't find it selling on the side a the road, it ain't in. Let's just do us a nice pecan pie instead."

"And Johnny loved those pralines you did. He thought I was the smartest girl he'd ever met when I gave him those."

I turn back to my dough so she can't see my face. Twice in a minute she's managed to irritate me. "Anything else you want Mister Johnny to think you did?" Besides being scared out of my wits, I am sick and tired of pa.s.sing off my cooking for somebody else's. Except my kids, my cooking's the only thing I'm proud of.

"No, that's all." Miss Celia smiles, doesn't notice I've stretched my pie crust to where five holes rip through. Just twenty-four more days of this s.h.i.t. I am praying to the Lord and the devil on the side that Mister Johnny doesn't come home before then.

EVERY OTHER DAY, I hear Miss Celia on the phone in her room, calling and calling the society ladies. The Benefit was three weeks ago and here she is already gunning up for next year. She and Mister Johnny didn't go or I would've heard plenty about it.

I didn't work the Benefit this year, first time in a decade. The money's pretty good, but I just couldn't risk running into Miss Hilly.

"Could you tell her Celia Foote called again? I left her a message a few days back . . ."

Miss Celia's voice is chipper, like she's peddling something on the tee-vee. Every time I hear it, I want to jerk the phone out of her hand, tell her to quit wasting her time. Because never mind she looks like a hussy. There's a bigger reason why Miss Celia doesn't have any friends and I knew it the minute I saw that picture of Mister Johnny. I've served enough bridge club luncheons to know something about every white woman in this town. Mister Johnny dumped Miss Hilly for Miss Celia back in college, and Miss Hilly never got over him.

I Walk in THE CHURCH on Wednesday night. It's not but half full since it's only a quarter to seven and the choir doesn't start singing until seven thirty. But Aibileen asked me to come early so here I am. I'm curious what she has to say. Plus Leroy was in a good mood and playing with the kids so I figure, if he wants them, he can have them.

I see Aibileen in our usual pew, left side, fourth from the front, right by the window fan. We're prime members and we deserve a prime spot. She's got her hair smoothed back, a little roll of pencil curls around her neck. She's wearing a blue dress with big white b.u.t.tons that I've never seen before. Aibileen has white lady clothes out the wazoo. White ladies love giving her their old stuff. As usual, she looks plump and respectable, but for all her prim and proper, Aibileen can still tell a dirty joke that'll make you tinkle in your pants.

I walk up the aisle, see Aibileen frown at something, creasing her forehead. For a second I can see the fifteen-odd years between us. But then she smiles and her face goes young and fat again.

"Lord," I say as soon as I'm settled in.

"I know. Somebody got to tell her." Aibileen fans her face with her hanky. It was Kiki Brown's morning for cleaning and the whole church is gaudied up with her lemon smell-good she makes and tries to sell for twenty-five cents a bottle. We have a sign-up sheet for cleaning the church. Ask me, Kiki Brown ought to sign a little less and the men ought to sign a lot more. Far as I know, no man has signed that sheet once.

Besides the smell, the church looks pretty good. Kiki shined the pews to where you could pick your teeth looking at them. The Christmas tree's already up, next to the altar, full of tinsel and a shiny gold star on top. Three windows of the church have stained gla.s.s--the birth of Christ, Lazarus raised from the dead, and the teaching of those fool Pharisees. The other seven are filled with regular clear panes. We're still raising money for those.

"How Benny's asthma?" Aibileen asks.

"Had a little spell yesterday. Leroy dropping him and the rest a the kids by in a while. Let's hope the lemon don't kill him."

"Leroy." Aibileen shakes her head and laughs. "Tell him I said he better behave. Or I put him on my prayer list."

"I wish you would. Oh Lord, hide the food."

Hoity-toity Bertrina Bessemer waddles toward us. She leans over the pew in front of us, smilling with a big, tacky blue-bird hat on. Bertrina, she's the one who called Aibileen a fool for all those years.

"Minny," Bertrina says, "I sure was glad to hear about your new job."

"Thank you, Bertrina."

"And Aibileen, I thank you for putting me on your prayer list. My angina sure is better now. I call you this weekend and we catch up."

Aibileen smiles, nods. Bertrina waddles off to her pew.

"Maybe you ought a be a little pickier who you pray for," I say.

"Aw, I ain't mad at her no more," says Aibileen. "And look a there, she done lost some weight."

"She telling everybody she lost forty pounds," I say.

"Lord a mercy."

"Only got two hundred more to go."

Aibileen tries not to smile, acts like she's waving away the lemon smell.

"So what you want me to come early for?" I ask. "You miss me or something?"

"Naw, it's no big deal. Just something somebody said."

"What?"

Aibileen takes a breath, looks around for anybody listening. We're like royalty here. Folks are always hemming in on us.

"You know that Miss Skeeter?" she asks.

"I told you I did the other day."

She quiets her voice, says, "Well, remember how I slipped up and told her about Treelore writing colored things down?"

"I remember. She want a sue you for that?"