'But it's not sanitary. It's...Jesus,' she says, sniffing the bag, 'it stinks stinks. It's probably got lice and ticks and all sorts.'

'I can't throw it away, Tess, it's immoral. You can't throw away a man's hair hair.'

'Well you can't take it to the hotel hotel with us. Huey, don't ruin this event for me today, this is my special goodbye lunch.' with us. Huey, don't ruin this event for me today, this is my special goodbye lunch.'

'Tess, I'm not going to ruin it.'

'So, stuff it inside your pants pocket.'

'I can't, it'll stink up my suit.'

'Huey.'

'f.u.c.k, man, this is a thousand-dollar suit.'

Tess has arranged a celebration for the four of us. It's the day before her operation, the day before I head up to Cape Canaveral, the week before they vacate the flat. Huey and Tess are planning a recuperative holiday after Tess gets out of the hospital and the two of them have decided to give up the apartment. Tess wants this day to be nice, to be special, so we're going to eat lunch at the Blue Hotel.

The doorman gives a suspicious sniff as we walk past him, but he can't quite work out where the smell is coming from. Tess has sprayed Huey's suit trousers with her perfumemost of the bottlebut there's still a high note of urine in the musky bouquet.

'You think it would be better if we ate outside by the pool?'

The restaurant manager thinks that it would.

Things pick up once we're out in the open again and the four of us settle into deep comfy sun chairs, shaded by a tall cream umbrella. Half a dozen palms tree tower over us, their long leaves fussing in the breeze. A waiter has taken our food order; another is bringing us drinks.

'It's perfect isn't it?'

I have to admit, it very nearly is.

'It's been a stressful few days, hasn't it? I hadn't realised how stressed out I was. I feel good now, though. Really good.'

'You're not nervous?'

'About the operation? Yeah, a little bit, but in a good way.'

'What time do you go in?

'Uh...early, around six. I want to make sure they load me up with plenty of those premeds first.'

Huey shoots an odd wink at Tess. Tess shoots an odd wink at Huey.

'You still think we...I mean that I I shouldn't go through with it.' shouldn't go through with it.'

'Tess, I think it's your life, it's up to you.'

She looks pleased. She and Huey look happy.

'I'm so so glad I met you guys. Really, the both of you...you've both meant an awful lot to me.' glad I met you guys. Really, the both of you...you've both meant an awful lot to me.'

'Hey, Tess, come on now. Don't go getting all emotional.'

'I mean it. I wish we could all have hung out for longer, I think the four of us would have become great friends.'

'We'll keep in touch.'

'Sure,' she says. 'Of course we will.'

'We'll meet up when you're back from your holiday. If I'm in London by then, you'll have to come over for a visit.'

'England? I'd like that, all those tiny streets, all that fog. And I could let my moustache grow out, right?'

'Yeah...exactly. You could.'

We smile, we both know she's joking.

'A toast, then?'

'Absolutely, a toast.'

'To old friends, to new friends, to progress.'

We raise up our gla.s.ses, we clink.

'To all of us, good luck.'

'Good luck,' we say. 'To all of us good luck.'

'Here's to Claire finding her brother and here's to me and Huey, and my new b.o.o.bs.'

'To Tess's b.o.o.bs.'

'And Huey's head.'

'To Huey's head.'

'To New Horizons.'

'New Horizons.'

'New plans.'

'New plans.'

'And here's to my gig at the Wheel...'

We stop. We seem to have run out of drink.

'Huey, why don't you take Michael to the bar for a minute, see what's happened to our champagne.'

'The waiter will bring it.'

'I know, but I'd sort of like it now.'

She nudges him until he catches on.

'Right, I get you. Come on Michael, let's give these two a minute.'

'So then?'

'So?'

'How are you?'

'I'm fine.'

'Come on, how are you, really? You've fallen out with Michael, am I right?'

I lift up my wine gla.s.s and try to squeeze some extra alcohol from its empty sh.e.l.l.

'You two are barely talking, what's going on?'

'Tess, it's just...things are difficult.'

She mulls things over, leaning back in her sun chair.

'He's cute, Claire. I'll give you that, he's cute. I wouldn't turf him out of bed, that's for sure.'

Come on gla.s.s. One more drop.

'He has this way with women, am I right? Quite Quite the charmer, that boy. Charmed you right out of your heart?' the charmer, that boy. Charmed you right out of your heart?'

'Tess, really, I don't feel like talking about this now.'

She sits up and leans into me; she can't be bothered to play games.

'Come on, I know about what happened. Huey told me what you talked about last night. Michael came out here to audition, right? Just as much as he came out here to be with you?'

A lump in the throat; what use is a lump in the throat?

'Tess, he never made me any promises.'

'Right. Sure. Of course not.'

'It was nothing, it probably never was...this trip, us...I wasn't under any illusions.'

'But it still hurts, doesn't it?'

I nod.

'Oh Baby.' she says, reaching for my hand. 'You deserve so much better than him. That's our problem all over, we always think we can change them.'

'No, I never tried to change him.'

'So what did you think, that he's was going to change all by himself? s.h.i.t, Claire, do you have a lot to learn.'

She smiles, but her mind is ticking fast. Going over it, working it out.

'Oh, right, now I get it, you're one of those those type of girls.' type of girls.'

I don't need to ask what type, it's obvious she's going to tell me.

'You didn't want want to change him, right? You liked him just exactly how he was. Knew where you stood with him, knew how to read him, knew he'd f.u.c.k it all up eventually.' to change him, right? You liked him just exactly how he was. Knew where you stood with him, knew how to read him, knew he'd f.u.c.k it all up eventually.'

I'm going to cry. How does she do this to me, someone like Tess? Sometimes she seems to see right through me.

'Don't get me wrong, I know how it is, I didn't get on with my family either. What with my sister and her emus, and my mum and the arson and everything. And her husbands, f.u.c.k f.u.c.k, don't even get me started on her husbands. But an upbringing like that, it's sort of cla.s.sic. You go for what you know, what you're familiar with. You look for love in all the wrong places. You don't think you deserve to be loved.'

I stare at the floor. I can't speak.

'So Madame Orla was right, huh?'

'Yes,' I say. 'Looks like she was.'

'What a b.i.t.c.h. I hate it when she's right.'

A tear trickles down onto my lip.

'Hey, hey hey,' says Tess, squeezing my hand. 'I know it doesn't feel like it now, but one day you'll find a guy who loves you the same exact way you love him. Look at me and Huey. Who the f.u.c.k else would love me as much as he does?'

I blow my nose.

'Exactly, no one. And what I mean is...what I'm trying to say is...Claire, your your Huey, he's out there somewhere.' Huey, he's out there somewhere.'

'I hope so.'

'Really?'

'Yeah, I do.'

'f.u.c.k, I was only trying to make you feel better. I didn't expect that you'd go for it.'

She smiles.

'I mean, he's cured of the coupons, he's better about his head. Now...if I could only only get him cured of the a.n.a.l.' get him cured of the a.n.a.l.'

'I'll miss you, Tess.'

'Thanks Babe, I know. Give me a hug, I'll miss you too.'