"See, don't let let nobody get you like that," said Robert. "You do anything they want, they get you arm twisted back. I'm just telling you for your own good. Pick up your shit and clear out of here now." nobody get you like that," said Robert. "You do anything they want, they get you arm twisted back. I'm just telling you for your own good. Pick up your shit and clear out of here now."

None of this was tellable. As they sat in the winter-squeezed light of Mingus Rude's backyard window, Barrett Rude Junior upstairs, strains of the Average White Band and his slippered footfalls trickling through the hardwood, Dylan and Mingus downstairs with their two heads bent together, leafing through the new issues of Luke Cage, Hero for Hire Luke Cage, Hero for Hire and and Warlock Warlock, Dylan couldn't ask Mingus whether he'd also seen the art handlers loading their truck or whether he'd instead somehow witnessed Robert Woolfolk's imaginary police. It was outside speech. To begin with, Rachel's disappearance didn't want to be given a name, a form to etch it in Dean Street history. And if Mingus had seen that parade of fleshy canvases, Dylan didn't want to know. Too, he couldn't describe how the balance of terror Rachel had struck in Robert Woolfolk was now tipped, because he felt a queasy instinct that Mingus and Robert should be kept ignorant of each other. If they were destined to meet Dylan didn't want to be the one who introduced them, and if they were already familiar it was another thing Dylan was in no hurry to learn. Finally, Dylan couldn't ask Mingus Rude if black people called liars lions lions because Mingus Rude was black. Sort of. because Mingus Rude was black. Sort of.

So silence and comic-book word balloons and the bass thump of the stereo upstairs.

One December afternoon Mingus tossed down his loose-leaf binder, bowed cardboard pressed with blue fabric, fraying at the corners, and Dylan saw that on every surface surrounding Mingus's old Philadelphia Flyers sticker the binder was laced with ballpoint scrawlings, lines dug in repetition like Spirograph ovals, gestures toward some perfect, elusive form. Here was the scribble from schoolyard walls, now carried home to Dean Street and plopped on Dylan's stoop.

"That's my tag," said Mingus when he caught Dylan studying the cloud of visual noise. "Here." He tore out a page and, holding his pen with fingers close to the point, tongue curling against his cheek in concentration, wrote DOSE DOSE in angled block letters. Then he drew it again in a clumsy balloon font, the D and O barely distinguishable, the E swollen so its three digits overlapped-faint mimicry, it seemed to Dylan, of a Marvel Comics sound-effect panel. in angled block letters. Then he drew it again in a clumsy balloon font, the D and O barely distinguishable, the E swollen so its three digits overlapped-faint mimicry, it seemed to Dylan, of a Marvel Comics sound-effect panel.

"What's it mean?"

"It's my tag, Dose. It's what I write."

It was a new given. Anyone might have a tag. Dylan might have one himself any day now. Further explanations were or weren't coming. The narrowed hours of winter light were a form of patience themselves, a stoic reply to no question. Rachel had vacated a certain hysteria from the house, replaced it with the telephone and assorted other ringing tones. A day had a hum like a seashell. Dylan watched television, watched the mails, watched his father trudge upstairs to his studio. He listened to his mother's abandoned records at low volume, Carly Simon, Miriam Makeba, Delaney & Bonnie. From the barred window of his second-floor classroom he watched janitors trudge through a thin carpet of snow to Dumpsters, which were covered with the newly visible scribble. Dylan had begun to pick out names, layers in the mess. Most things had happened some time before Dylan came along, that's why taking them for granted was so crucial. You could dial up any example in reruns, Room 222 Room 222, The Courtship of Eddie's Father The Courtship of Eddie's Father, The Mod Squad The Mod Squad. All was exemplary of daily life, the undertow of the normal.

Things occurred in one another's company that Dylan Ebdus and Mingus Rude might never discuss. They watched the Super Bowl in Mingus Rude's parlor, first sealing a five-dollar bet in whispers in the basement room, Mingus taking the Pittsburgh Steelers, Dylan, on helmet aesthetics, the Minnesota Vikings. Then they'd tiptoed upstairs, under the eye of the gold records. The parlor was rearranged, the water bed hidden, the couch and a tremendous Barcalounger arrayed around a mammoth color television. Barrett Rude Junior sat enthroned before the screen in blue satin pants and an unsashed silk robe, his thick arms fallen to either side, palms open, legs sprawled halfway to the television. Coils of black-and-white hair were like false starts, unfinished cursives on the flat brown page of his chest. He cinched his head halfway from the pregame show to consider Dylan, squinted through his granny glasses, his goatee warping wryly as he pursed immense lips.

"This your friend, huh?"

Mingus ignored the question, sat on the couch.

"What's your name?"

"Dylan."

"Dylan? I met met that cat, man. Who you like in the game, Little Dylan?" that cat, man. Who you like in the game, Little Dylan?"

"Huh?"

"Who you like in the game?"

"He likes the Vikings," said Mingus, distantly, fallen into some trancelike state induced by his father and the immense, pulsing screen.

"Vikings lose," said Barrett Rude Junior, so flatly that Dylan was momentarily confused-weren't they all here to find out who won? The game wasn't a rerun.

"You know the Dolphins?" said Barrett Rude.

Dylan lied yes yes.

"I worked out with them, summer of '71. Get the picture, Gus."

Mingus rose from the couch and slid into his father's carpeted bedroom, returned with a framed color photograph, worm's-eye, showing Barrett Rude Junior in a football uniform, ball curled to his chest, dreaming eyes fixed worlds beyond the lens.

"Mercury Morris said I'd make the cut as a second-string wideout, never got the chance, though. Damm record company put the kibosh, thought I couldn't protect myself. Cost me a Super Bowl ring, man."

Barrett Rude Junior wound down, his voice purring to nobody in particular. The game itself, when it began, turned out to be a long green flattening: of huffing, robotic men, and of Dylan's interest. Football was an arrangement of failures, a proving how unlikely most things were. Mingus kept his betting stake private, just rooted maniacally for anyone to put it in the air. Dylan chanted silently along with the commercials, I'd like to buy the world a Coke. Indi-gestion. I'd like to buy the world a Coke. Indi-gestion. Barrett Rude Junior twitched his fingers, beating some tune on the Barcalounger's arm. Barrett Rude Junior twitched his fingers, beating some tune on the Barcalounger's arm.

"Gus, get me a Colt from the fridge, man."

The yellow forty-ounce bottle sweated beads in the radiator-dry apartment. Barrett Rude wiped his fingers on his blue silk knee after each sip, dark wipes which evaporated but left puckered signatures, trails.

"Halftime y'all take ten dollars, get us some sandwich makings. Go round to Buggy's, get me some of that Swedish cheese I like. I hate that Puerto Rican cheese they got at Ramirez, man." Barrett Rude Junior said Buggy's Buggy's like the rest of the block, it didn't matter that he never went out. Names were known indoors. The block was one thing, whole, it was proven again. The brownstones had ears, minds ticking away. like the rest of the block, it didn't matter that he never went out. Names were known indoors. The block was one thing, whole, it was proven again. The brownstones had ears, minds ticking away.

Y'all was a couple of was a couple of yos yos walking together. walking together.

Dylan and Mingus wrapped themselves in their coats and jammed their hats to their eyes. Wind ripped around the corner of Bond Street, flaying their bony legs, whistling in the vents of their Keds. Fists balled in pockets, palms sweaty, knuckles frozen. Prying Buggy's door against the wind. She and her German shepherd loomed as apparitions, creatures from Mars peering through glass. A black kid and a white kid buying cheese and mustard. Buggy might not know it was the Super Bowl, might even think the word was toilet-related, a blue dusty item lining her top shelf, which nobody bought.

Mingus and Dylan assembled sandwiches and the three of them ate, Barrett Rude Junior raving about the taste of the hot mustard, licking his fingers, muttering, punishing a second bottle of malt liquor. The third quarter was a floodlit desert, men piled in disarray, time desolately stretched. Somewhere ice-laden planes might be crashing, Manhattan might have snapped in two and drifted out to sea. Brooklyn was the winter island. Outside it was black as night. You'd never have guessed the Super Bowl was so grim and insistent. A shot from a drifting blimp alleviated nothing. Mingus kept his vigil, closed into himself, father-struck, father-stilled. Dylan scooted on his knees and picked through Barrett Rude Junior's record collection, which filled the far corner beneath the mantel. Dylan flipped them forward and back, the Main Ingredient's Afrodisiac Afrodisiac, Esther Phillips's Black-Eyed Blues Black-Eyed Blues, Rahsaan Roland Kirk's The Inflated Tear The Inflated Tear, the Young Holt Trio's Wack Wack Wack Wack, the names and cover art windows to some distant world as embedded with irretrievable meaning as any single issue of Marvel Comics.

"You don't need to be looking at that stuff now," said Barrett Rude Junior, distantly annoyed. "Sit up and watch the game." He squinted, seemed to consider Dylan's entirety for the first time.

The whiteness of the boy in the black man's house.

"Your mother know you're here?" Barrett Rude Junior asked.

"Dylan's mother's gone," volunteered Mingus from the couch.

"Your mother's gone?"

Dylan nodded.

Barrett Rude Junior weighed it. Dylan's presence in his room was explained, that might have been his first conclusion. Then, in slow motion, something else dawned. Dylan sensed in Barrett Rude's heavy-lidded gaze a flare of tenderness, felt it like a headlight's beam turning to enclose him.

"Mother's gone, but the boy is keeping it together." Barrett Rude Junior spoke the sentence twice. In the first rendition the words emerged thick, deliberate, tongue-mashed. The second was a lilting echo of the first, the line now a song of admonition, a beguilement. "Mu-tha's gone, but the boy is keeping it together."

Dylan nodded again, dumb.

Mingus Rude's father still gripped the blunt yellow bottle at its base. He waved it in a circle, toasting an invisible table. "That's cool. You're cool. Now, check out the long-players another time, Little Dylan. Sit and watch the game."

Did Barrett Rude Junior remind him of Rachel? Or was this only the longest the word mother mother had been strung in the air since Rachel's vanishing? Dylan felt that she'd drifted into the room, a mist or cloud, a formation. Mingus Rude squirmed on the couch, wouldn't meet Dylan's eye-seemingly he felt her too, Rachel Ebdus or some other mother, pressing on him like a force from above, like weather. Then she drifted out of sight, the camera angle switched to the struggle of inches, runners writhing on shredded ground, a helmet hugged like a baby on the sidelines, the long wait for a measuring chain to come upfield. had been strung in the air since Rachel's vanishing? Dylan felt that she'd drifted into the room, a mist or cloud, a formation. Mingus Rude squirmed on the couch, wouldn't meet Dylan's eye-seemingly he felt her too, Rachel Ebdus or some other mother, pressing on him like a force from above, like weather. Then she drifted out of sight, the camera angle switched to the struggle of inches, runners writhing on shredded ground, a helmet hugged like a baby on the sidelines, the long wait for a measuring chain to come upfield.

When at the end Mingus Rude put a fist in the air and said, "I won," his father said, "What you win?"

"Me and Dylan had a bet."

"How much?"

"Five dollars."

"Don't play your friend like that. Any fool knows the Vikings can't win no Super Bowl. Come here. Come here here." When Mingus stood near enough Barrett Rude reached out with his wide hand, robe spilling forward, exposing a nipple weirdly soft and large, and cuffed his son on the cheek with his palm. It might have been affectionate if Barrett Rude's voice, the theatrical summoning, hadn't marked it as something else. Dylan watched Mingus rock delicately on his sneaker heels in expectation of another, stronger blow. But Barrett Rude grew absent, examined his own hand front and back, as though for something written there. Then he said, "Want money, don't steal from your friend." He extended an arm to the mantel and peeled off a twenty from the roll which lay there, shoved it at Mingus. "Put your hat back on and walk Little Dylan home now. And when you get back take a pick to your nappy-ass head, don't make me keep telling you."

Winter days were static glimpsed between channel flips. Rotting snow like black diseased gums in the street. The projects were sealed up, the kids didn't come out. Henry could be seen slinging a football into the sky, basket-catching it himself. Alberto had abandoned him, shifted into new, more Puerto Rican friendships. It was shocking how Henry was diminished, how much his stature had depended on Alberto after all. Mingus appeared on the block before nightfall or was elusive for weeks. Comics got weird, were thrown down in disgust. Warlock Warlock was canceled, they'd never know how his battle with Thanatos turned out. Jack "King" Kirby's return to Marvel, from his exile at DC, was still building steam. Dylan pictured Kirby in a laboratory leaching the Superman toxins from his body, recovering from kryptonite poisoning. was canceled, they'd never know how his battle with Thanatos turned out. Jack "King" Kirby's return to Marvel, from his exile at DC, was still building steam. Dylan pictured Kirby in a laboratory leaching the Superman toxins from his body, recovering from kryptonite poisoning.

A guy jumped from the fifth floor of the halfway house on Nevins and impaled himself on the spiked iron gate, which had to be cut out in a section and moved with him to the Brooklyn Hospital surgery room. Kids took trips to see the fence, until the telltale spikes were capped by a new steel bar running along their tops. You hadn't known it was a halfway house until someone jumped out, then it turned out everybody knew. As with the Brooklyn House of Detention on Atlantic, you'd avoided that block on communal instinct, knowledge you couldn't have guessed you already had.

Dylan and Abraham stayed up late to see Saturday Night Live Saturday Night Live but after ten minutes Abraham declared he didn't get it, and rummaged angrily for a misplaced Lenny Bruce record. Time was running backward, said Abraham. Things used to matter and be funny. Dylan took it on faith. One day Dylan found Earl slamming a spaldeen high off the face of the abandoned house, his teeth gritted as he said, over and over, " but after ten minutes Abraham declared he didn't get it, and rummaged angrily for a misplaced Lenny Bruce record. Time was running backward, said Abraham. Things used to matter and be funny. Dylan took it on faith. One day Dylan found Earl slamming a spaldeen high off the face of the abandoned house, his teeth gritted as he said, over and over, "I'm Chevy Chase and you're not! " Earl was furious, disconsolate, nobody's friend at the moment. For anybody, ballplaying was now explicitly nostalgic. If a few kids formed a game they were like the Puerto Ricans at the corner on milk crates, recounting the past, grumbling in ritual. Ball games broke like false fevers, passed like moods. Marilla and La-La sang, nearly screaming, " Earl was furious, disconsolate, nobody's friend at the moment. For anybody, ballplaying was now explicitly nostalgic. If a few kids formed a game they were like the Puerto Ricans at the corner on milk crates, recounting the past, grumbling in ritual. Ball games broke like false fevers, passed like moods. Marilla and La-La sang, nearly screaming, Got my sunroof down, got my diamond in the back, put on your shaggy wig woman, if you don't I ain't comin' back, oh, shame, shame, shame, sha-ay-ame, shame on you! If you can't dance too! Got my sunroof down, got my diamond in the back, put on your shaggy wig woman, if you don't I ain't comin' back, oh, shame, shame, shame, sha-ay-ame, shame on you! If you can't dance too!

One thawing Saturday in March Dylan met Mingus at noon to walk up Court Street, through the scrap-strewn park that stretched beyond Borough Hall, on a solemn mission Dylan didn't understand. In the park they bought hot dogs and knishes in greasy wax paper from a steaming cart, Mingus producing a balled-up five from his coat pocket. Mingus rewrapped half his knish and put it where the money had been, stash for the unknown destination. Just past the war monument the park tilted toward Brooklyn's edge, the crumpled waterfront: parking lots, garbage scows, city scrap yards. The Brooklyn-Queens Expressway was a vibrating shadow, beneath it the streets still showed cobblestone in places, elsewhere old trolley tracks lay half buried in the new tar.

Mingus showed the way. They circled under the on-ramp to find stone stairs up into the sunlight of the bridge's walkway, then started across, over the river, traffic howling in cages at their feet, the gray clotted sky clinging to the bridge's veins, Manhattan's dinosaur spine rotating into view as they mounted the great curve above the river. The walkway's slats were uneven, some rotten. Just an armature of bolted wire lay between Mingus's and Dylan's sneaker tips and the pulsing, glittering water. The bridge was an argument or plea with space.

They halted two-thirds across. On the vast tower planted at Manhattan's mouth were two lavish word-paintings, red and white and green and yellow sprayed fantastically high on the rough stone, edges bled in geological texture. The first read MONO MONO , the second , the second LEE LEE , syllables drained of meaning, like Mingus's , syllables drained of meaning, like Mingus's DOSE DOSE . .

Dylan understood what Mingus wanted him to see. The painted names had conquered the bridge, pinned it to the secret street, claimed it for Brooklyn. The distance between Mono's and Lee's blaring, blurry, timeless ten-foot letters and the binder-scribble and wall-scribble, the gnomic marks everywhere, might be traceable, step by step. Tags and their invisible authors were the next skully or Marvel superheroes, the hidden lore. Mingus Rude pulled out his half-eaten knish and nibbled it and the two of them stood in awe, apes at a monolith, glimpsing if not understanding their future. The cars rushing below knew nothing. People in cars weren't New Yorkers anyway, they'd suffered some basic misunderstanding. The two boys on the walkway, apparently standing still: they were moving faster than the cars.

Nineteen seventy-five.

Dylan Ebdus and Mingus Rude in the spring of 1975, walking home along Dean Street studying marker tags in black and purple ink, on mailboxes and lampposts, DMD DMD and and FMD, DINE II FMD, DINE II and andSCAR 56 , trying to break the code, mouthing syllables to themselves. Dylan and Mingus together and alone, in windows of time, punctuation. One crossing Nevins to dodge a clump of kids from the projects, keeping his white face hidden in a jacket hood; one hanging in loose gangs of black kids after school, then walking alone to Dean Street. The two of them, a fifth and a sixth grader, stranded in zones, in selves. White kid, black kid, Captain America and Falcon, Iron Fist and Luke Cage. In windows of time, returning from different schools to the same block, two brownstones, two fathers, Abraham Ebdus and Barrett Rude Junior each wrinkling back foil edges on TV dinners to discover peas and carrots that had invaded the mashed potatoes and Salisbury steak, setting them on the table in dour silence. Dinner in silence or to the sound of the television drowned by the baying of sirens, Nevins Street a fire lane, a path of destruction, the projects flaring up again, an apartment on the eighteenth floor with a smoldering mattress pushed halfway out the window, stuck. The grid of zones, the huddled brownstone streets between prison and projects, Wyckoff Gardens, Gowanus Houses. The whores on Nevins and Pacific. The high-school kids pouring out of Sarah J. Hale all afternoon, black girls already bigger than , trying to break the code, mouthing syllables to themselves. Dylan and Mingus together and alone, in windows of time, punctuation. One crossing Nevins to dodge a clump of kids from the projects, keeping his white face hidden in a jacket hood; one hanging in loose gangs of black kids after school, then walking alone to Dean Street. The two of them, a fifth and a sixth grader, stranded in zones, in selves. White kid, black kid, Captain America and Falcon, Iron Fist and Luke Cage. In windows of time, returning from different schools to the same block, two brownstones, two fathers, Abraham Ebdus and Barrett Rude Junior each wrinkling back foil edges on TV dinners to discover peas and carrots that had invaded the mashed potatoes and Salisbury steak, setting them on the table in dour silence. Dinner in silence or to the sound of the television drowned by the baying of sirens, Nevins Street a fire lane, a path of destruction, the projects flaring up again, an apartment on the eighteenth floor with a smoldering mattress pushed halfway out the window, stuck. The grid of zones, the huddled brownstone streets between prison and projects, Wyckoff Gardens, Gowanus Houses. The whores on Nevins and Pacific. The high-school kids pouring out of Sarah J. Hale all afternoon, black girls already bigger than yo mama yo mama, Third Avenue another no-man's-land, the empty lot where they raped that girl they raped that girl. The halfway house. It was all halfway, you walked out of your halfway school and tried to chart a course through your halfway neighborhood to make it back to your own halfway house, your half-empty house. Dylan Ebdus and Mingus Rude like figures stepping through mists of silence every few weeks to read a comic book or fool around with tags in ballpoint, dry runs, rehearsals for something else.

His old teacher's office was unchanged, so it might all be a dream, a mistake. He might be cutting out on a City College lecture at 135th Street to visit the Art Students League on 57th Street in 1961, might be again the Columbus Avenue kid gawking like he wasn't even a New Yorker, like he was some hick loosed in hipsters' paradise, positive he saw de Kooning around every corner, airing his fresh goatee and praying nobody would call him on the bluff, banish him back uptown. Back then Brooklyn had been unknown to him, apart from Coney Island, that distant faded Wonderland where, at seventeen and high on Coca-Cola, under the squeaking boardwalk, in bands of sun and shadow, he'd unclasped his first brassiere, Sasha Koster's, and, balls aching, jetted spontaneously into his binding underwear. He should have known that by spilling seed there, in the cold littered sand of Brooklyn, he'd doomed himself. That though MacDougal and Bleecker Streets seemed his future he would instead marry a life-drawing model from Williamsburg, a Hunter dropout, a chain-smoker and pot-smoker, a hippie before there were hippies, and end up raising their child alone in a row house five blocks from the Gowanus Canal. By venting Sasha Koster's breasts to the salt air he'd sworn himself to the borough.

His office was unchanged and Perry Kandel was unchanged, still genially shabby in an elbow-patched sweater, teeth and skin still gray as an erased charcoal sketch, hair wild like a New Yorker New Yorker cartoon of a shrink. Kandel tipped his stolid middle over his desk to shake hands and wave at a chair, then sat back and spoke as if resuming pursuit of a conversational point to which he'd been building for half his life but wouldn't reach if he lived twice. cartoon of a shrink. Kandel tipped his stolid middle over his desk to shake hands and wave at a chair, then sat back and spoke as if resuming pursuit of a conversational point to which he'd been building for half his life but wouldn't reach if he lived twice.

"Thinkers aren't thinking, Abraham, teachers aren't teaching. The writers don't write, they stand onstage and play with themselves instead, emulating Mailer and Ginsberg. We've lost a generation. Young men walk into my office and declare their intention to live in a geodesic dome and tend bees, or compose choral music in Esperanto. To do happenings happenings. Tradition's kaput. Nothing's good enough, not since Warhol, that schmuck with earlaps. It isn't interesting enough to be merely a man or a woman, even. I went to see a so-called film at the Quad and in three hours learned only that David Bowie is without a penis. Him, he can't even play with himself. Me, I have a smaller ambition, to keep painters painting, a few, anyway. You, Abe, you're a grave disappointment."

"You said a job, Perry. Don't torture me."

"I regard it as an act of despair. You weren't selling when you sold to Hagopian, you were burying the evidence like a guilty animal. You're ashamed of paint, it embarrasses you. What, you're surprised? You think word doesn't reach me?"

"Has word of my wrecked marriage reached you?" Abraham Ebdus spoke the words he hadn't to this point, and looked his old teacher in the eye, wanting to shock and silence him. In fact, he'd shocked only himself. Perry Kandel didn't even pause for breath.

"There's a problem nobody's solved. A painter leaves a trail of wrecked marriages should he be so lucky to get laid in the first place, but, but, but-essentially he persists in covering canvas with rabbit-skin glue and pigment. That's how he earns the right to go on wrecking them."

Abraham wasn't going to descend to mentioning son son, or mortgage mortgage. "If what you told me on the telephone was just to get me here for a lecture-"

"Listen, it's a job. Whether it's for you, you'll decide. It would involve the application of paint with a brush, but only for purely tasteless and reprehensible ends, so relax. Your renunciation of your talent should remain uncompromised."

"I appreciate the concern."

"It's nothing. An editor acquaintance, a clever man to whom I frequently lose sums at the poker table, he asked if I knew any young painters with both a figurative and an abstract bent, and with a sense of color. I said sure, a couple. He presides over a line of science-fiction paperbacks, which he wants to market with an eye on adults for a change, the college crowd the college crowd, god knows what he imagines that is. For this he wants someone outside the usual hack commercial painters. He used the word upscale upscale. Personally, I hear that word, I tremble. I wouldn't want it applied to myself."

Though certain to resume his galactic harangue before long, Perry Kandel paused now to savor his own last rhetorical flourish like he was sucking on an invisible cigar. Then, price extracted-Abraham Ebdus was more than usually conscious this day that every single thing in the world had its price-his old teacher scribbled a name and a phone number on the pink duplicate copy of a student evaluation form and pushed it across the desk.

chapter6.

Rabbit-furred parka hood laced tight around his neck, tunnel vision further reduced by his bowed head, the boy's narrowed view consists only of his own ribbed Converse sneaker toes shooting forward in alternation through a fur-lined oval window of rushing-past pavement. He walks this way along Atlantic Avenue to Flatbush and Fourth, hands plunged in pockets, winter giving a certain minimal cover, a chance to mask hands, face, all whiteness. Crossing Fourth he's forced to lift the furred viewfinder, turn it right and left, searching for the right moment to cross the lanes of heavy traffic to the newsstand on the triangular island. Seen through the windshields of the steaming cars at the red light on Fourth, or through the dusty windows of the Doray Tavern or the Triangle Pawn Shop, the boy might resemble a mole or rat on two legs, gray hood tugged into a shape that resembles a darting, questing nose, one which sniffs air for danger.

The mole-figure now scurries across the intersection to the shelter of the newsstand. There he looks up again, turns the nose anxiously full circle, perhaps suspecting he's been followed. Finally, satisfied, the mole crouches, under the indifferent eyes of the newsstand's proprietor, a bearded Arab who warms his hands over the portable heater wedged at his feet in the narrow cubicle lined with People People, Diario Diario, The Amsterdam News The Amsterdam News. The mole kneels, peels up his pants leg, wrinkles down his orange-striped tube sock. Tucked moistly against his ankle is a paper dollar and three twenty-five-cent coins. It's Tuesday. The mole-boy pushes the dollar and one of the quarters forward on the smooth-worn wooden lip of the newsstand, then gently works the freshly arrived comic books out of the cold metal racks. One each of The Avengers #138 The Avengers #138 and and Marvel Team-Up #43 Marvel Team-Up #43, featuring Spider-Man and Doctor Doom, and three copies of the debut issue of Omega the Unknown Omega the Unknown, an instant collector's item, as promised by months of buildup in the "Marvel Bullpen Bulletins" columns in other titles. The proprietor glances, nods glazed consent. The mole-boy's parka is opened for a dangerous instant, the comics slid ever so carefully into the waistline of his pants. The mole-boy closes his coat, relaxes his arms, tests to see that he's walking normally, that the presence of the comics is concealed, but also that the precious #1s are uncrumpled. The remaining two quarters are now shifted to the coat pocket. They're to travel with him, gripped in a clenched, sweaty fist, for offering up at the first opportunity, the slightest confrontation. Mugging money. Walk these streets with pockets empty, you're an idiot, asking for it.

This creature of pure fear waddles home, tiny steps to be sure the comics don't slip.

Once indoors the mole-boy sheds his protective cover. The Avengers The Avengers and and Team-Up Team-Up are put aside, afterthoughts. Two copies of are put aside, afterthoughts. Two copies of Omega the Unknown Omega the Unknown are tucked in sober plastic, the plastic is taped shut, the sealed bags moved to a high shelf, archived. The last copy, that's for reading. are tucked in sober plastic, the plastic is taped shut, the sealed bags moved to a high shelf, archived. The last copy, that's for reading.

The heralded Omega? He turns out to be a mute superhero from another planet, pretty much Black Bolt mated with Superman, if you allowed the comparison. The comic is weird, worse than unsatisfying. Omega, it turns out, isn't the main point of the thing. The majority of pages are given over to another character, a twelve-year-old kid with an unexplained psychic connection to Omega, a bullied, orphaned kid who's going to a public junior high in Hell's Kitchen.

Hey, maybe even the geniuses up at Marvel Comics knew you were in hell. Didn't matter, didn't help, because you weren't allowed to know it yourself, not really. There wasn't any connection between you and the poor, helpless kid in Omega the Unknown Omega the Unknown, not that you could permit yourself to see.

That kid? He just didn't have any street smarts street smarts.

Sixth grade. The year of the headlock, the year of the yoke yoke, Dylan's heat-flushed cheeks wedged into one or another black kid's elbow, book bag skidding to the gutter, pockets rapidly, easily frisked for lunch money or a bus pass. On Hoyt Street, on Bergen, on Wyckoff if he was stupid enough to walk on Wyckoff. On Dean Street, even, one block from home, before the dead eyes of the brownstones, in the shadow of the humming, implacable hospital. Adults, teachers, they were as remote as Manhattan was to Brooklyn, blind indifferent towers. Dylan, he was a bug on a grid of slate, white boy walking.

"Yoke him, man," they'd say, exhorting. He was the object, the occasion, it was irrelevant what he overheard. "Yoke the white boy. Do Do it, nigger." it, nigger."

He might be yoked low, bent over, hugged to someone's hip then spun on release like a human top, legs buckling, crossing at the ankles. Or from behind, never sure by whom once the headlock popped loose and three or four guys stood around, witnesses with hard eyes, shaking their heads at the sheer dumb luck of being white. It was routine as laughter. Yoking erupted spontaneously, a joke of fear, a piece of kidding.

He was dismissed from it as from an episode of light street theater. "Nobody hurt you, man. It ain't for real. You know we was just fooling with you, right?" They'd spring away, leave him tottering, hyperventilating, while they high-fived, more like amazed spectators than perpetrators. If Dylan choked or whined they were perplexed and slightly disappointed at the white boy's too-ready hysteria. Dylan didn't quite get it, hadn't learned his role. On those occasions they'd pick up his books or hat and press them on him, tuck him back together. A ghost of fondness lived in a headlock's shadow. Yoker and yokee had forged a funny compact.

You regularly promised your enemies that what you did together had no name.

Dylan leaked saliva, tears. On a cold day a nostril path of snot. Once, pee. He'd bite his tongue and taste the seepage, the tang of humiliation swallowed back. They made faces, rolled eyes. Dylan was hopeless, stained with shame. They'd try to overlook it.

"Boy bleeds you touch him, dang."

"Nah, man, he all right. Let him alone, man."

"You ain't gonna say nothin', right? Cuz you know we just messin' around. We wouldn't never do do nothin' to you, man." nothin' to you, man."

He'd nod, collect himself, not open his mouth. Wait to be congratulated for gulping back a clog of tears, for exhibiting silence.

"See? You pretty cool, for a white boy. Get outta here now."

White boy was his name. He'd grown into it, crossed a line, become visible. He shined like free money. The price of the name was whatever was in his pockets at the time, fifty cents or a dollar. was his name. He'd grown into it, crossed a line, become visible. He shined like free money. The price of the name was whatever was in his pockets at the time, fifty cents or a dollar.

"White boy, lemme talk to you for a minute." Head tipped sideways, too lazy to take hands from pockets to summon him. One black kid, two, three. One near a bunch, maybe, you couldn't say who was with who. Eyes rolled, laughing. The whole event a quotation of itself, a little boring, nearly an indignity to perform.

If he ignored it, tried to keep walking: "Yo, white boy white boy ! I'm ! I'm talking talking to you, man." to you, man."

"What's the matter, you can't hear hear ?" ?"

No. Yes.

"You don't like me, man?"

Helpless.

The fact of it: he'd cross the street to have his pockets emptied. The outcome was obvious anyway. He'd cross magnetized in disgrace, under the sway of an implicit yoking, so no one was forced to say See now I got to fuck you up, cuz you don't listen, man See now I got to fuck you up, cuz you don't listen, man. It was a dance, steps traced in yokes gone by. Call me white boy and I'll hand you a dollar spontaneously, I'm good at this now Call me white boy and I'll hand you a dollar spontaneously, I'm good at this now.

"Just come here for a minute, man, I ain't gonna hurt you. What you gotta be afraid for? Dang Dang, man. You think I'm gonna hurt you?"

No. Yes.

The logic was insane, except as a polyrhythm of fear and reassurance, a seduction. "What you afraid of? You a racist racist, man?"