Arabella If I'm with you, regardless of the climate, the air will be no softer or better for me. I don't know why, but now I sigh when I am near you; I cannot breathe.

Albert My heart swoons with pleasure at such talk. You need a husband to calm these sighs.

Arabella Girls dissimulate often enough, and pretend to scruples at the name of a husband, masking their true desires, often saying they love no one except the convent. As for me, the power of truth presses me and I can find in it neither crime nor weakness. I have a sincere heart, and I tell you, without pretence, that I want to be married, and sooner than later.

Jenny Well said. What's the use, in the spring of youth, to wish to escape the yoke of marriage, and to leave the number of the living? There were husbands long before convents, and I hold the role of spouse is the most ancient, and the most currently fashionable and used--and the most to be followed in all methods. That's what I say!

Albert You both speak in the same spirit--and my views conform to yours. I intend to marry. Rich as I am--they're always proposing a suitable and advantageous match for me--but I always reply that another love holds me, and that my heart prepossessed by your rare beauty sighs for you alone, and that on your side, you adore only me.

Arabella How's that?

Albert Yes, sweety, I have declared the love which possesses me for you.

Arabella What did you say, if you please?

Albert That, at the bottom of your heart, you nourish a sincere pa.s.sion for me.

Arabella Where's your discretion, truly?

Albert Beautiful Arabella, one cannot be happy and remain silent.

Arabella You ought not to make such an avowal, and so loud.

Albert And why not, my child?

Arabella (waspishly) Because nothing is more false, and one cannot lie with more impudence.

Albert Then, you don't love me?

Arabella (sweetly) No, but in recompense, I hate you unto death.

Albert (surprised) For what?

Arabella Who knows why? One loves without reason, and without reason, one hates.

Jenny If the admission is not tender, at least it is sincere.

Albert After what I have done, basilisk, to please you!

Jenny Don't get carried away! Observe tranquilly if love has made you a charming object. Your features are worn away--hers are loveable and fresh. She has a well made wit and you a crabbed temper. She's not sixteen, and you are very old. She bears herself well, and you walk with a cane. She has all her teeth, which makes her pretty, and you have only one. Still, she excites you--and you ought to be carried off at the first cough to whatever misfortune down there would please you.

Albert I've taken useless trouble to please her. I will therefore merit her hate, by G.o.d. And to secure her dangerous charms, I am going to lead her to a place far from fops, where by her arrogance, she will have leisure to be penitent. Come quickly, let's go.

Arabella Where are you going?

Albert You will know soon enough. March on--no talking. (perceiving Worthy, who has just entered) What an irritating turn of events at this time.

To the devil with him and his stupid face.

(Worthy, who was entering like someone out for a stroll, sees Albert and greets him. Scratch enters behind Worthy.)

Albert Sir, do you wish something from me?

Jenny (low, to Arabella) It's Worthy.

Arabella (low) Peace! I see him more clearly than you.

(Worthy continues to bow to Albert.)

Albert Sir, what's the use of these fine manners? Speak, I am tired of bowing and sc.r.a.ping.

Worthy A stranger in these parts, and pleased to see you. In paying you my respects, I fulfill my duty. My coach is broken down near your mansion, and after having done my best to repair it, I came to breathe the delicious air--attracted by the--freshness.

Albert You deceive yourself, sir. The air around here is decidedly bad for your health. I owe it to myself to tell you that you will become very ill if you stay here for a long time. It is dangerous and mortal to wayfarers.

Arabella Alas, nothing is more true. Since I've breathed this air, I languish night and day in a cruel martyrdom.

Scratch Just give me the same wine as our innkeeper broke open today, and I will stand my ground defying fever, apoplexy, and a hundred years of age to the end of my life.

Worthy (to Arabella) It's hard to believe that with so much beauty, and such air, that you're not healthy.

Albert Whether she looks well or ill, find another place to take the air.

Worthy This object--that heaven has taken care in making--this view where my eye is pleased to rest, enchants my sight--and never has nature displayed her attentions with so much finery. My heart is in love with what it sees here.

Albert Yes, the country is beautiful. Everybody says so, but you'll spend the end of your day better elsewhere. By now, your coach must be fixed.

There's no need for your presence here. Leave, you ought to be gone already.

Worthy I will leave momentarily. Tell me, I beg you--

Albert Since you chatter so emotionally, I am going to listen to you attentively. (to Jenny and Arabella) Go in, go in.

Jenny Sir--

Albert Eh! Go in, I tell you.

Worthy I'd rather retire than be the cause of Madame suffering the least inconvenience on my account.

Arabella No, sir, stay till tomorrow. Postpone going on your way, and we will put you in good company. The roads are unlucky and filthy.

Albert So much ceremony! Come, quickly--go in.

Jenny Yes, yes, I'm going in. But, before these gentlemen, I tell you plainly to stop the humiliations you impose on us. We haven't seen even the shadow of a hat for six months in this new fangled cloister.

Any man who comes around here is interdicted. Everything in this house is subject to inspection. Sometimes we think the world has come to an end. No one comes her except they be of the female s.e.x. Judge if a girl in this situation has cause to complain.

Albert (putting his hand over her mouth and forcing her inside) Ah, I will tear out your viper's tongue.

(Exit Jenny and Arabella.)

Albert (aside) I don't want to go back in so soon. Their complaints and their tears might move me, perhaps. (aloud) What's the problem? Speak! But, above all, be brief.