"Are you fucking joking?" Megan yelled. Like actually yelled. Everyone in the restaurant turned and looked at them. Annie lowered her voice hoping Megan would respond at a reasonable volume.

"I'm having an affair with my trainer. Well, it might be over now, but for the past few days we've been sleeping with each other."

With disturbing precision, Megan placed her fork on the lip of her large salad bowl. She lifted her napkin from her lap and settled against the booth once the linen square was on the table. She was not pleased. "How did this happen?"

Annie told her everything she could, skipping the play-by-play of what had actually happened in bed. "I don't know. It just started off as this silly, stupid idea, and now I...I don't know what to do."

"What do you mean? Are you gay now? Bi?"

"I'm definitely, bi, but I...I thought I could sleep with her, I mean we had an agreement. I thought I could sleep with her just that one time and it would be fine. It would be my last hoorah, but we just kept talking and then I kissed her outside the gym the other night and then we fucked again last night and all I want to do right now is call her or text her, but she knows about Jeff. She doesn't want to deal with all of my bullshit." Annie tossed her napkin on the table in frustration. Megan watched her, working her tongue behind her teeth. "Say something."

"I'm pissed and I'm not," Megan said. "If you had just told me you wanted to fuck some woman instead of having a bachelorette party, we could have bought you a hooker. David knows plenty and that would have saved you all this emotional drama and I wouldn't have this sick sense that the months and months of work I've put into your wedding is about to be flushed down the shitter."

"Wait. I didn't say anything-" Megan cut her off with a deadly glare.

"On the other hand, the part of me who absolutely hates your boyfriend is just a little relieved. He sucks for you."

Annie was suddenly annoyed. Sure, she knew Megan wasn't a huge fan, but she hadn't said that Jeff was wrong for her. She hadn't said a single thing about them getting married.

"If you hate him so much why didn't you tell me?"

"If you love him so much why are you fucking someone else?" Annie swallowed and shifted in the booth. That one stung. "I did tell you. Feather's birthday party, when you and Jeff first started dating? Remember he showed up with that stupid flask? And we were at a bar."

"You make him sound like he's a complete douche," Annie said. Jeff wasn't perfect, but the trouble in their paradise was all Annie's invention, not his.

"If the flask fits, honey," Megan said, cocking her head defiantly for a second before she relaxed. "Listen, I know he's nice to you and I know he's not a bad guy. I just don't like him and I don't like him for you. I'm sorry if I'm late, but I'm saying it now. You need someone kinder, someone more nurturing who likes your soft and gooey sides. I feel like Jeff keeps you around because you're hot, but when you need him to let loose and have fun with you, he's always so fucking uptight and serious. In plain terms, you're too nice for him. He needs someone more Hollywood and more heartless."

"You felt all this and you were going to let me marry him," Annie almost whispered to herself. Everything Megan had pointed out was true, but along the way, those were all parts of Jeff she figured she would just have to accept. That's what you do in a relationship; you love the person as they are and accept what you can't change. Or do you? Megan seemed to have a clear understanding of how relationships were supposed to work and she hadn't said a word. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"How old are you? I'm serious. This isn't about me. I told you one time exactly how I felt and you told me that's just how he is, it's fine. He's nice. He's this. He's that. After that it wasn't my job to tell you he sucks."

"He doesn't suck, but I see what you mean."

"The question is do you want to be with Jeff when you're seventy, eighty, one hundred and twelve? And better yet, why did you want to sleep with someone else?"

Annie didn't have a good answer. Her mind was in After-Oksana mode. She couldn't remember her reasoning before they'd had sex. All she could remember was how good that sex had been and all she could think about was doing it again.

"Tell me about her," Megan said. Annie pulled out her phone and dug up a picture of Oksana from the Elite Fitness website. She handed her cell over to Megan.

"That's her. Her name is Oksana."

"Wow. She's gorgeous. God, I want to fuck her."

"I know." Annie sighed. "She's beautiful and she's funny and her body is killer. She lives with her grandmother too. How sweet is that? I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. It's just sex, right? Tell me I'm just getting cold feet and this is the guy in me who needs to sow his wild oats before he takes the plunge."

"No. You tell me how you feel about her. Be honest. Don't think about Jeff. If you were single, what would you do right now?"

"I'd...I'd try to be with her." Annie dropped her head forward, exhausted from thinking. "I'd want to see where it goes."

"I should meet her."

"What? No way."

"Yes way. I'm an excellent judge of character and you know it. It doesn't have to be anything super formal, but if I can just meet her I can tell you, objectively, if you're just thinking with your crotch. Either way, you should dump Jeff."

"Oh, just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that. And don't think you're not going to owe me like seven hundred favors for dealing with Taum on these wedding arrangements. You know I hate your mom." Her mother was a little over the top. From her false pleasantries to her weird insistence that everyone, including Annie's childhood friends call her by her first name.

"Ugh, I'm sorry. Should I tell Shane and Feather?"

"Not yet. Let me meet her first and then we can finagle something." Megan's cell phone sang and rattled on the table. "Fuck, hold on. It's David."

Annie ate silently while Megan and her boss had some conversation about contracts. She wanted to feel better, having passed some of this burden on to Megan, but somehow she felt worse. Jeff was going to get hurt. Bad. And Annie couldn't help but wonder how far the fallout would wash her out to sea.

Chapter Six.

The Last Trip to the Park The next morning, Annie waited patiently near the entrance to Griffith Park. Every Saturday, she met Oksana near one of the very bottom trails. They stretched and then hiked to the observatory near the top, or they ran higher up one of the peak trails, depending on how much complaining Annie was doing. A steep, two-mile run would actually do some good to burn off some of the nervous energy that had her leg shaking as she sat on the picnic table.

Megan had already texted her, begging for more girl time that afternoon. Annie understood her need to unwind, especially after she handed off the whole wedding to her, but Annie hadn't replied to that text. She'd think about Megan and the rest of the wedding party later, after she talked to Oksana.

Annie faced the woods, but she could hear Oksana approach. Her steps crunched over the dirt and dried twigs that surrounded the rest area. Years of foot traffic and low rainfall had obliterated the grass in that part of the park even though the trees overhead had thick, full leaves. This was the perfect place to talk.

Oksana came around the picnic table cautiously. Annie realized then that Oksana looked just as good in her street clothes as she did in workout apparel. She gave herself a few seconds to admire Oksana in her black, calf-length spandex and fitted Dodgers T-shirt. Lines around her eyes made Annie realize she wasn't the only one who'd had a sleepless night.

"Hey," Oksana said. "Are you okay?"

Annie sat up and slipped her phone into the pocket of her thin running jacket.

"I have to say this."

"Okay..."

"I want to tell you everything. And I know how it's going to sound, but please just hear me out and then, I don't know. You get the floor to rebut."

"Okay." Oksana's scowl didn't help with Annie's confidence issue, but they'd crossed the bridge of too late days ago. She had to say this.

"I'm not sure if I'm going to marry Jeff."

"Why?" Oksana asked hesitantly.

"Because...I think I have feelings for you."

Oksana's reaction was immediate.

"Oh! Come on, Annie!" she yelled, throwing her hands in the air. "Don't do this!"

"Oksana, I have to. Can we please just talk about it?"

"Why? Because we had sex?" Oksana groaned. "I don't want you to do this. I should have-this was a bad idea. We shouldn't have slept together. You had your plan or whatever, but it's clear it didn't work out, Annie."

"Yeah, because of you."

"What do you mean 'because of me'? You told me it was no strings. You told me it was your freebie, your pre-wedding, my fiance doesn't care fling."

"It was and then things changed. You seemed fine with it when I kept texting you, and you seemed more than fine with it when my fingers were in your pussy. You didn't stop me from kissing you, and you weren't complaining in my bed yesterday morning either." The truth wasn't pretty, but Annie couldn't let her twist certain truths between them.

Oksana took a stunned step back and gritted her teeth, her cheeks flushing with a small hint of pink. Seeing how pissed she already was, Annie dug the hole a little deeper.

"I'm not saying this is about you. It is and isn't. I knew Thursday wasn't ladies' night. I looked it up before I went out, but I went anyway."

"Why?" Oksana asked, seeming genuinely confused.

"Because I had to get out of my house. Because I wanted to be with you!"

Oksana's face fell. Annie couldn't understand why this was making her so angry, but she let her speak.

"Great. Well, I'm glad you could use me to scratch your itch. I'm glad I slipped up and fell into your bed again, right when you wanted me to."

Annie's mouth gaped open. "That's not it at all. I've always liked you."

"Bullshit."

"It's true. I'm just not a big fan of pushing myself on someone who isn't interested at all. If you were straight, I figured you'd be lacking that certain interest in me, but then you offered. You agreed to be a part of this. With me."

"So why did you lie about ladies' night?"

"Because that was my initial intention. I wanted to see if it was you or women in general, but I knew it was you I wanted to be with. The thought of being with someone else just...I don't know. I went out and tried to drown my sorrows in mint and liquor and then I..."

"What?" Oksana said.

"I shouldn't have thrown myself on you like that." Annie heard herself getting louder and louder, but she didn't reel in the momentum. "I know. I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. I was already horny just thinking about you before you got to the bar, and then I was so relieved when I saw you. I mean how often are you just praying to see someone and they come walking up to you? And you looked so hot. I wasn't thinking."

"Okay. So you had your time to think and now you're questioning your relationship with Jeff because we fucked twice. You wanted your one night of freedom and you got two. Why the change in plans?"

"I'm questioning things with Jeff because right now I care more about how you feel than how Jeff feels. It's messed up, Oksana. I know. I have been thinking about you non-stop since the first time we slept together. I can't be sure about marrying someone else when they aren't the most important person on my mind."

Oksana spun around and Annie watched her back as she wrapped her arms around her ribs. This was not going well. She knew Oksana wouldn't be excited to hear that she'd had a part in ending her engagement to Jeff, but she had to come clean. She never considered she'd be hurting Oksana in the process.

Annie wanted to cross the short distance between them and hold Oksana until she somehow magically understood what Annie was feeling, but she'd made that mistake once, letting what she wanted rule the moment. She couldn't push right now.

A deep breath trembled over Oksana's shoulders and then she turned back.

"I don't want this," she said quietly.

"I...understand." She did, but it didn't stop her stomach from dropping to the dirt below the picnic table.

"No, you don't." Oksana was suddenly furious. Annie stared at her, afraid to make any sudden movements. "You really thought you were just going to tell me that you're confused about Jeff and I was going to jump for joy and run away with you? I had a good time with you. I won't deny it. You're great in bed, okay? But I'm not a fucking home wrecker. You told me it was no big deal and now it is, and I don't want to be the person who gets blamed for your wedding ultimately going to shit."

"Who's going to blame you? Jeff won't-"

"Right. He sounds great, but what about your friends and your parents, people who've already shelled out money for dresses and hotels and plane tickets. I've been in a wedding before, Annie. That shit ain't cheap. So when all those people get your, 'Oops, sorry. I'm a lesbian now,' phone call or text message or however you plan to break it to them, guess who they are going to blame? Your new fag girlfriend who corrupted you away from Jeff."

Oksana's words had set off an emotional bomb right there in the park. Annie couldn't hear the birds or the traffic from the street. Just her own strangled breathing and stuttered heartbeat.

Annie closed her eyes, swallowing the pain in her throat.

"I don't think I can marry him," she replied before she looked back at Oksana's exasperated expression. "I've thought about everything you just said. My mother is going to kill me if I do this. I know it, and I know some of my friends will probably never speak to me again, but again, that's just whatever. It's-I know how I feel about you, but this part of it, with me and him, that's not about you, Oksana. Even before we had sex, I was excited for him to leave because I knew I was getting a chance to be with someone else."

She shocked herself with those words, but they were true. From the moment Oksana had agreed to sleep with her, she'd been counting down the days until Jeff left town.

"I don't think about him beyond what I'm going to say when he comes back. I don't miss him. Who doesn't miss their fiance? I know he's sleeping with other women while he's away and I don't care. I should be furious or jealous or something, but I'm not.

"I wasn't moping about when he was coming back or wondering why he wasn't writing me more. These past few days all I could think about was making things right with you. If I could, I would undo the way we got here, but I wouldn't change the way I feel. I really like you, Oksana. I just wanted to tell you. I should thank you. You've given me even more to think about."

"Do I get the floor now?"

"Do you want it?" Annie said, defeated. Oksana rolled her eyes at Annie's dramatics.

"The way I feel about you doesn't matter because we can't undo anything. You are my client. I should have never slept with you. Period. And I should have never slept with someone who was in a relationship because that is wrong. It doesn't matter how you slice it."

"Oh, fuck you," Annie nearly shouted. "I get you're upset with me, but stop painting me like the evil bitch here and tell me why you did it if it was so wrong. You let me fuck you and then stayed. You didn't drop me off and leave. You didn't cut and run for the door after I kissed you. You let me take your clothes off and you spent the night. When does your guilt come into play?"

And then they were just arguing.

"I fucked you because I've wanted to since the day I met you."

"So you're attracted to me. Do you have feelings for me?"

"Of course I do. If I didn't I wouldn't have gone to you at the club."

"So besides not wanting to feel like a home wrecker, what's the problem? If you like me and I like you..." Annie brought her hands together in front of her chest in that meshing motion.

"Annie, you don't even know me," Oksana said.

"And you don't really know me either. What's your point?"

"That is my point." Oksana didn't skip a beat before she confessed, "I've been down this road before." That stopped Annie's sarcasm in her tracks. Her mouth flapped open. She didn't want to believe that Oksana had broken up a couple before, but Oksana went on before her mind could ask the question. "Not this exact situation, but I was with someone a little like you. She was perfect and I loved her so much, but it turned out she wasn't so sure either."

Annie reached out her hand, but Oksana stayed put. Annie pulled her hand back and shook her head. "You cannot put that on me. I'm not your ex."