I didn't know what he was talking about, but suddenly I

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was more angry than upset. Nothing like that had ever happened to me before, which meant it could be some sort of trick. He couldn't be that much stronger; if he were, then Rik would be the same! In desperation I really began struggling then, putting everything I had behind it includ- ing body weight, but it made very little difference. All I accomplished was squirming around on his lap, barely moving his arms any distance at all, ending up winded while he watched me as though it were someone else 1 was struggling with. After what seemed like a horribly long time 1 was able to brace my left arm against his chest and get some small amount of purchase-which immediately made him change his tactics. Before I knew what was happening his arms were wrapped around me while his hands still held my wrists-which meant I was wrapped up like a beldame in winter.

"You do indeed have greater strength than other fe- males," he said with a laugh for the way I squawked in protest, holding me up against him. "Nearly were you able to free one of your wrists, an effort I had not antici- pated. Now, however, freeing yourself is beyond you, is it not?"

"Not if I use magic to clout you over the head," I panted, glaring at him as I tried to get even a little un- wrapped. "This is unfair and you know it! The least you can do is go back to the way we were."

"Ah, but you will not use magic," he said with a wide grin, making no effort to do as I'd said. "This was to be a contest of strength rather than power, and so it will re- main. And yet, should you wish to return to your former position, there is a manner in which you may see it done."

"How?" I asked, suddenly very suspicious of al! the enjoyment he was getting out of that comment. "By figur- ing out the trick you're using on me? If I could do that, I'd not only be back to where I was, I'd be free."

"No more do 1 use upon you than strength," he said with that very irritating grin, looking as though he ex- pected me to believe him. "For your own sake must you leam this, therefore shall I not stint in my duty. Should you wish to be released, you must first allow me a taste of your Ups."

177.

I stared at him openmoulhed, refusing to believe he was serious, and that brought out the chuckling in him. I could feel the red staining my cheeks at me thought that he might actually be expecting me to buy myself loose by doing something like that, and his amus.e.m.e.nt softened just a little.

"Truly do you remind me of the woman of my heart,"

he said, tightening his arms around me very slightly.

"She, too, was filled with pride and innocence when first I came upon her, two things which greatly endeared her to me. The earliest taste of her lips was unparalleled plea- sure, a pleasure I mean to know again. Should we remain in this position for all of the darkness, we will neither of us be fit to ride at first light. With that in view, perhaps you would be wise to allow me my price without delay."

"Your price," I echoed, aware that the flush in my cheeks was now being caused more by anger than embar- ra.s.sment. The witch apprentice Nedra didn't seem to mind buying something rather than earning it, but I'd never liked doing things that way. I stared silently at his satis- fied, expectant face for a moment,, seeing that he thought 1 had no choice, then began struggling again with all my strength. ^

The unexpectedness of the thing and the way I turned in toward him, actually got my right wrist loose from his hold. That tel me do a good deal more in the way of fighting back, but instead of becoming upset, Kadrim laughed in delight. He immediately tried to recapture my wrist, but my struggling and fighting didn't let him do it. I grabbed a fistful of his long, thick red hair and tried to force his head back, beginning to enjoy the scuffle in spite of my initial anger, and then-

"What in h.e.l.l do you think you're doing?" a furious voice rang out, stopping everything in mid-motion. Kadrim released me immediately, which meant I was able to turn and see Zail where he stood, just inside my tent entrance.

The dark-haired man was nearly livid, and his blazing eyes were riveted on Kadrim.

"Zail, you don't understand," I began, hastily getting to my feet with a horrible sinking feeling inside, silently

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cursing the fact that he'd had to show up just at that time.

"It isn't what you ..."

"Just because men attack women like that where you come from, doesn't mean you can get away with it here,"

Zail went on furiously to Kadrim, ignoring everything I'd said and was trying to say, moving slowly forward. "You need to learn a lesson, boy, and I'm just the man to leach it to you."

"You mean to teach me the proper manner in which one attacks women?" Kadrim asked in a very smooth way, rising to his feet behind me, making no attempt to tell Zail the truth about what we'd been doing. "Should that proper manner involve speaking head-turning words de- signed to beguile one who is bereft of all knowledge of men, you may save yourself the effort. A true man will speak openly of his desires, not attempt to see them satis- fied through opportunistic manipulation."

"Zaii, please!" 1 tried, realizing with awful suddenness mat Kadrim was also moving forward toward Zail. "Kadrim, don't. . . !"

"A true man will know the difference between a price- less work of art and a cheap, expendable bauble," Zail growled, his gray eyes on Kadrim's face, his voice having turned cold. "Manhandling the priceless just ruins it for all time, a fact only those with proper breeding seem to know.

The rest find roses of mud to s...o...b..r over, which is no more than what they deserve. I warned you once before, boy, and now I'm all out of warnings."

"Just as I am out of patience with being addressed as something I am not," Kadrim growled back, a!l of his attention on Zail and none for me where I stood in upset frustration between them. "A woman is more than a thing whose possession alone is coveted by a man. To find one who touches his soul as well as his heart may take a lifetime, to find two the same who do so is to be blessed like few others. No other thing than truth may be spoken to one such as that, the truth of a man with a woman, not sickening-sweet lies of . . ,"

"Lies?" Zail snarled, his hands turned to fists to either side of him, the fury blazing up again. "Would a man speak lies to the woman he means to make his wife?

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When you find the most perfect thing you've ever seen you don't let it go again, and you don't do anything to hurt it-or let anyone else hurt it! It's time we settled this between us, before ..."

"Before the quest is over?" another voice interrupted, a calm and even but very commanding voice. "Or have you decided to forget about the quest?"

Zail turned quickly at that, stepping to the left so that Rikkan Addis became as easy for me to see as he'd been to hear. He, like Zail, still wore his sword, but the arms folded across his chest said he had no immediate intention of using it. InThig, by his side, sat on its haunches and looked interested.

"The quest has nothing to do with this, Rik," Zail protested with what seemed like annoyance, returning the bronze-eyed stare that was being divided between him and Kadrim. "The boy and I have a private matter to settle, which won't affect the quest one way or the other."

"Even if one of you is hurt or killed?" Rikkan Addis asked, still looking between them. "Zail, Kadrim isn't the young boy you think he is, and Kadrim, Zail isn't the conscienceless despoiler you think he is. Neither one of you is seeing things very cleariy, which I can understand but don't care to accept. You seem to have forgotten about all those people who will die a really horrible death if we fail, but I can't forget about them. Do you remember how happy and alive they were at the fair, how the men looked at their wives and children? Those men won't find it possible to do anything at all to save their families, they'll just have to stand helplessly by and watch them go through the tortures of h.e.l.lfire before a grisly death takes them- which is more likely to happen if one of you isn't in shape to do what has to be done. Is that what you want? Are your differences so pressing that they have to be settled now, when there's more to be lost than gained? If you win your own private desires but lose the life of a world, will it be worth it?"

Zail and Kadrim were suddenly very silent, their expres- sions showing they knew what happened with things you give up everything to possess. One day you wake up to

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realize exactly what's been lost, and the one thing you're left with never means the same to you again.

"I think you two had better go back to your tents now,"

Rikkan Addis said, his voice still calm and quiet. "I'll walk over there with you."

Zail nodded and headed for the tent flap behind Rik, Kadrim pausing only long enough to retrieve his swordbelt before doing the same. Fearless leader waited until they'd both gone out ahead of him, looked at me with very little friendliness and said, "I'll be back in a minute," then took his own turn at exiting. I didn't much care for his entire att.i.tude, but I turned back to the settle and folded onto it with something much more important bothering me- I hadn't noticed it sooner, but something very strange was going on.

1 lay down on the cushions with my hands to my eyes, feeling the decent amount of strength still left to me, almost wishing I were too tired to see what was so obvious when waves of exhaustion weren't fogging my thinking.

So Zail wanted, to marry me, did he. and Kadrim had something of the same in mind? After knowing me for all of two days? So completely sure of their love that they would fight one another to see who the lucky man would be? Everyone kept insisting on how innocent I was, but even if they were right that still wouldn't mean ! was also blind and illiterate. Instant love happened in books, not in any part of the worlds I'd ever seen, and certainly not to someone like me with two men. If I hadn't been so flus- tered, I would surely have seen the point much sooner.

I took my fingers from my eyes and stared up at the gray tent ceiling, feeling horribly disappointed even though I'd unconsciously been expecting Zail to come to his senses at any time and have second thoughts about what he'd been doing. It had taken Rikkan Addis' comments about the quest to make me think, and the thoughts that had come were inescapable: Zail and Kadrim were under a spell, one that was probably reinforced every time we stepped out of a gate. The enemy knew quite a lot about us, it seemed, and knew exactly what would happen if two of the male members of our expedition decided they couldn't live without one of the female ones. That was why I was

THE PAR SIDE OF FOREVER l8l

"lovely" to Kadrim and "priceless" to Zail; they were meant to fight over me and hurt each other doing it, and in the process ruin our chances of succeeding in the quest.

They weren't paying all that attention to me because they wanted to but because they had no choice, and it was all due to whoever our enemy was. I'd thought I'd hated him before; now 1 was learning the real meaning of the word "hatred."

Staring up at a ceiling or roof is at times compelling, especially when there are certain truths you're trying to keep from thinking about. I was lost in bitter folds of gray, knowing nothing about what amount of time had pa.s.sed, when I heard someone entering my pavilion. I had no idea who it was, and wouldn't have cared even if it was another beast coming for me in attack; my mood had activated some of my automatic defenses, and anything that attacked me would be very, very sorry it had.

"Well, at least that's taken care of," a not-very-happy voice said, reminding me that Rikkan Addis had said he would be back. "I didn't like having to use that much Persuasion on them, but it was either that or let them fight it out, with each other or with me. Using Persuasion on men is too much like making them slaves, and I don't like having to do it."

1 lay on my back on the settle, still staring up at the tent roof, refraining from pointing out that he was repeating himself. Persuasion had to be the talent he had that Graythor had mentioned to me, the talent of making others believe what he believed or what he wanted them to believe.

Being a sorceress meant nothing like that couid affect me, but 1 almost wished it could; then I could have asked him to tell me I wasn't the biggest fool in all the worlds there were.

"They've born given me their word that they won't let themselves fight over you until mis is all over," fearless leader went on, pretending I wasn't ignoring him. "What happens with you three after that is none of my business, but until then ! don't want to find either one of them in this tent again. Do you understand me?"