spears and javelins, "the heavy broad-eyed spear of battle," swords, daggers, skeines of iron and bra.s.s, two-handled swords, and among them conspicuously shone forth the double-handled sword of the renowned NIAL NECALLOCH, richly ornamented and inlaid with gold; metal halberts were arranged in the same cla.s.s with tuagh-catha, _i.e._ battle-axes, tuagh suaighte or clipping axes, fiadhgha, crannuibhs, spears, clubs, Irish lances, spears, javelins, jacks, corslets, haubergeons, targets, bucklers, pavices (shields), cailmhions, salets, skulls (_i.e._ helmets), sceptres beautifully inlaid with gold, fibula (brooches) of bra.s.s, silver, and gold, richly and exquisitely wrought; bits and spurs of an enormous size, and inlaid with gold; druidical scythes, ancient Irish harps (the _cithara_), ancient Irish trumpets of various kinds and names, the stuic or stock, the buabhall, the beann, the adharc, and the corna or bugle-horn; the dudag, the gall-trompa, the cibbural or corabus, the cornan or cronan, and the iachdarchannus (_quasi_, _cantus ba.s.sus_.) But here we close our antiquarian summary, as we begin fairly to suspect that many of our readers have no partiality to such ancient researches; suffice it then to say, that all these various specimens were arranged in diversified ornamental shapes and forms of sun, moon, star, and crescent, that fancy could conceive or taste execute.

Here Sir Patricius again proposed to the Captain to accompany him in a ramble to view the grounds; to which Captain Heaviside readily and gladly a.s.sented. As they stood upon the terrace, Sir Patricius said, "My worthy Sir, just as you had arrived I was upon this spot, thinking with what taste and judgment my very excellent patron--

(_O et praesidium et dulce decus meum!_)

has so much improved and adorned these lawns, when, Captain, I can well remember what they were. Great natural capabilities, no doubt, presented them-selves, and His Grace has acted upon them with spirit, taste, and judgment, and withal no expense has been spared. However highly meriting the meed of praise, which doubtless His Grace so well is ent.i.tled to, I was just thinking of the great Archimedes, who so sagely and appropriately said,

DOSS MOI, TANE STIGMEN!

And I----"

"I must beg a thousand pardons, most gallant, ill.u.s.trate, and learned Sir Patricius," said Captain Heaviside, interrupting the Baronet, "but, under favour, my good Sir, I do not in verity understand one word of _Hebrew_; no, nor any of these nostrums; albeit I have little doubt that Archimedes the great was, in good sooth, a most famous and skilful physician and gifted leech in his celebrated day."[11]

[11] The reader will have the candour to recollect that this can mean no disparagement to the military profession.--This was said when knowledge was limited to the few--one hundred and forty years ago.

"Nay, Captain Heaviside, I cry nay. Mark me, he was a geometrician and astronomer, and very celebrated as both! The pa.s.sage which I have put into the mouth of the renowned philosopher of Syracuse is Greek; and if I may be indeed permitted to pique myself upon any kind of erudition, (although, perhaps, in modesty I might say, _Vix ea nostra voco_), I should then pride myself upon a knowledge of the Greek tongue; and moreover too, the proper p.r.o.nunciation and due intonation of voice, what Horace so sonorously and emphatically calls the _ore rotundo Graecorum_.

Indeed I do flatter myself that I speak the best Greek beyond any other person in the island!"

"Oh, come, no disparagement, good Sir Patricius! to all your learned acquirements; you excel in speech, and no doubt succeed as well in the gift and exercise of your pen! but I, Sir, the hapless child of wayward fortune, am only acquainted with _this_! [half drawing his sword from its scabbard.] On this simple stake rest all my fortune and my hope, which, while I have a hand to wield, shall be held forth in the defence of my king and country!"

"Well said, i' faith, my master! and spoken n.o.bly, like a brave and honest soldier! Ay, to be sure, Sir! _every man in his vocation, Hal!_ as the inimitable Shakespeare sagely saith; although, nevertheless, a little knowledge methinks, after all, to the tune of the old proverb, is in sooth no great burden! But come, presto! we shall change the topic and the scene. The day beams forth its vernal glow beneath a brilliant sky, and the melodious strains of the feathered songsters, vying in harmonious notes, invite us abroad. Come, we have stayed too long."

Thus at last the learned physician and the preux chevalier sallied forth to behold the varied and n.o.ble domains of the ill.u.s.trious proprietor.

The lawns, shrubberies, walks, gardens, &c., were all kept with the greatest possible care and neatness. Several artificial lakes fed by a living stream, and of great extent, so as to seem as if placed there by the hand of nature, wound along beneath the shadow of ancient groves, and fully diversified the scene. The lawns and parks were smooth and verdant as a bowling-green from the frequent pressure of the roller.

While the walks, parterres, and terraces, were so trimly kept that not a fallen leaf was to be seen; which order and regularity was placed to the account and agency of several old females, habited as witches, whose brooms, ever on the alert, kept all in due and perfect neatness. Part of the grounds which adjoined the castle were laid out in that old-fashioned style which we confess we are antediluvian enough to admire; however, be it known that no tree, shrub, nor ever-green, whatever, was clipt and mutilated by the shears to shrink into the abortioned form and pressure of a wizard's broom, or a true-lover's knot! no pyramid of clipped beech, no cypress-tree which a.s.sumed the fantastic form of Cleopatra's needle. No: nor did shivering Adam and Eve, and the cold clammy serpent and "forbidden tree," astound the spectator in shorn yew; no fountain impotently attempted to spring upward in boxwood; no such puerilities were tolerated to disfigure by grotesqueness the scenery of nature. So far on the contrary, that every thing was in good taste--at least it was so at the distant time of which now we write. The grounds were laid out in what would now be called the improved English taste: here lawns of richest verdure, and cultivated to the highest degree of luxuriance; there wild rocks of granite or limestone, as placed by the hand of nature, trailed and festooned around with lichen grey and ivy green; while the _Osmunda regalis_, the royal fern, spreading wide its majestic plumes, and undulating in the breeze, gracefully waved and bent over the apex of these romantic rocks, and gave a pleasure to the eye that scenes of nature only can bestow. The terraces which surrounded the castle were kept gravelled and rolled to the extreme of neatness, and were hedged with luxuriant myrtle. The _now_ old-fashioned ponds, which it would have been little less than sacrilege to remove, reposed beneath the terraces, which gave a tone of grandeur to the whole; _jets d'eau_ sprung from the centre of these to an elevated height, and over the head of many a triton and river deity; while the waters, as the declination of the ground permitted, bursting forth at once the bonds of artificial force, they

"From large cascades in pleasing tumult roll'd, Or rose from figured stone,"

brightly spreading and sparkling beneath a brilliant sun. It must, however, be admitted, that it was somewhat chilling, even in the merry month of May, to behold the shivering deities who presented them-selves in cold tangible marble _sans chemise_, _sans robe_, _et sans drape_, while they sentinelled the verdant banks of pond, lake, or ca.n.a.l; and which, in some degree to qualify our praise, we are ready and free to admit were after all somewhat _selon le ecole d'Hollande_!

Here suddenly a vernal shower coming on, the Doctor and Captain, at no great distance from the castle, were glad to make a race to avoid a wetting; and before their dress could receive any damage they entered the castle-hall, having luckily accomplished their object. Sir Patricius now proposed to show to Captain Heaviside the Duke's great gallery of paintings, _pour pa.s.ser le temps_ until the hour appointed for the baptismal ceremony should arrive.

Just at this moment the d.u.c.h.ess of Tyrconnel drove up in her equipage to the castle door. It was a low demesne cabriole, drawn by two small ponies, and driven by a postillion; in it was seated the d.u.c.h.ess, Mrs.

Judith Braingwain, the nurse, and in her arms the lovely child, the Lady Adelaide. Sir Patricius hastened forth to hand them from the vehicle, and the d.u.c.h.ess most graciously saluted both her guests, the little Adelaide sweetly smiled, and the d.u.c.h.ess with all due courtesy retired.

"There she goes--there goes Her Grace," said Sir Patricius; "that highly intellectual lady; the _rara avis_--the black swan of literature of this our day--my right n.o.ble patroness; shining amid her compeers a bright star of intellectual, and literary, and domestic worth, and rich indeed in all,

'Velut inter ignes Luna minores.'"

Captain Heaviside here rejoined--"Although, Sir Patricius, I knew well that the d.u.c.h.ess gave with her n.o.ble hand a distinguished fortune to the Duke, yet verily I did not until now learn that Her Grace had any estate in the _Minories_!"

"No, no; ha, ha!" said Sir Patricius, with a most self-applauding laugh.

"Oh no! nor in the _Stannaries_ neither. But _allons nous donc, mon preux chevalier_! Apollo and the muses now invite us.--So, ho! to the picture gallery." To which the learned Theban and the valiant Captain now hastily ascended.

The grand picture gallery, which now they entered, was of truly magnificent dimensions, and lighted from an elevated dome. This truly splendid collection of paintings was most judiciously arranged on the walls of the superb gallery, collected and selected with a taste and discernment that spoke volumes in praise of the liberality of the distinguished collector. This splendid gallery was adorned with the _chefs d'ouvres_ of the most ancient celebrated masters; forming, on entrance, a truly grand and most imposing _coup d'oeil_ of the different works of Reubens', "the prince of painters;" Raphael, "the divine!" Angelo, Guido, t.i.tian, with a long and n.o.ble extended _et cetera_, too magnificently formidable to be here introduced.

The first painting which they approached was from the pencil of Teniers; it was that of his famous _Alchymist_.

"This," said Sir Patricius, pointing to the painting, "is a work of Teniers!"

"Vastly fine, indeed, Sir Patricius!--Oh, monstrous fine! grand, expressively sublime! eh! But here," added the surprised Captain, "what, _ten years_!--was the patient artist employed ten years thereon?

Monstrous length of time! what sad solemn patience and perseverance the fellow had to be sure!--tedious faith, as the old siege of Troy!"

"No, no, my very good Captain, I did not say that the renowned artist was _ten years_ employed in accomplishing this fine painting, but merely announced that his distinguished name was Teniers."

"Oh, a thousand pardons, Sir Patricius!--eh--_ten_ thousand pardons! But then the painting is truly monstrous fine!--upon my s--l it is vastly fine indeed--eh!"

The next painting which they approached was the famous painting of Europa carried off by Jupiter in the shape of a bull, from the distinguished pencil of the celebrated Claude Lorraine.

"The painter who has produced that truly enn.o.bled specimen of his divine art," said Sir Patricius, with great pomp and emphasis, save when he was interrupted by a const.i.tutional cough, "the painter, hem, hem, hem, was, Sir Captain, let me tell to you, inimitable! He deeply studied nature, and hence he acquired that elevated _gusto_, which has justly stamped a superlative value upon all his masterly works; his truly lovely landscapes, glowing with Italian suns, and with Italian verdure, _Italia diis sacra_, hem, hem, hem! Yes, bold Sir, upon these he acted, and on the n.o.ble inspirations of nature! verifying on glowing canva.s.s the most apposite and veritable saying of the great and learned Archimedes,

'DOSS MOI, TANE STIGMEN!'

That, brave Sir, means--'Give me a point to stand upon;' and Sir, aye Sir, I shall move '_the great globe itself; yea, and all that it inhabit!_'--That, Sir, is a Claude!"

"Heaven and earth!--_clawed!_ What do I hear," said the astonished Captain, in a most lachrymal tone; "_clawed!_--what a thousand pities!

irreparable--hopelessly irreparable! Indeed I always knew too well that cats were most destructive, malicious animals. But say what inducing cause--what motive? here was depicted no lively representation of rat, rabbit, pigeon--no, nor mouse! wonderful! 'Fore Jove I swear, that all the confounded pestilential breed of cats in the county should swing before I should endure to have such a n.o.ble painting as that _clawed_ by any cat o' the mountain in the province!"

Here Sir Patricius Placebo raised his intelligent eyes in dumb despair, very nearly indeed allied to positive contempt. But after a short momentary gaze of astonishment, and a slight expression of contempt, his muscles relaxed into a cheering smile; and seeing from the window, as he looked out, some of the guests to arrive, he gaily said--"I see clearly, Captain Heaviside, that you prefer living faces to their mute representation on canva.s.s, so let us adjourn, _si vous voulez_, and attend the ladies; and egad I think I can show you some fine girls; there, Captain, you see are some fair specimens, the six Misses O'Carrol, and all dressed so gay in pink, blue, and crimson, smiling and blooming like a bed of budding paeonies in June!"

"Vastly koind, good Sir Patricius; vastly koind, _j'irai la sans failler_, eh?--Yes I do admire pretty girls exceedingly; and I must say, by Jove, that I prefer them to all your _Hebes_, _Cupids_, and _Ganymedes_, on copper, canva.s.s, or panel!"

The chimes of the bells of the ducal chapel now gave warning note that the baptismal ceremony was nigh at hand, and all the guests consequently approached the sacred edifice. And at the high altar, gorgeously decorated, from a golden ewer the ceremony of ablution was performed.

When the lovely Adelaide received the sprinkling she smiled most sweetly; and as her nurse, Mrs. Judith Braingwain, (whom we shall hear more of anon,) afterwards very appropriately told it: "Heaven bless the dear bonnie babe, how sweetly it was she smiled bekase she was made a Christian cratur!"

The ceremony concluded upon the return of the n.o.ble party to the castle.

Cake, caudle, and wine, and various confectionary, were dealt out with no sparing hand. Many of the company sat down to different card-tables, and played, as was then the fashion, at ombre, cribbage, loo, _jusque a diner_, when they were entertained at a most princely and magnificent banquet.

The Duke of Tyrconnel received all his guests with frank and due welcome and courtesy. His Grace was attired in the following costume:--a large well powdered peruke, which freely flowed over the splendid mantle and robes of the order of the garter. His Grace also wore the magnificent collar and gem, and resplendent star, of the ill.u.s.trious order. His stockings were of light blue coloured silk, and drawn up in a fashion similar to those of Sir Patricius Placebo; and around the left leg, beneath the knee, was buckled the embroidered and mottoed garter, which pertains to, and from which this distinguished order receives its appellation. The stockings were adorned "with quirks and clokes about the ancles" of gold withal, and curiously and richly wrought.

The Duke of Tyrconnel was considered as the handsomest man of the age, and upon this occasion looked uncommonly well, every inch the n.o.bleman.

Lord Glandarrah was attired in the magnificent robes of the order of the Bath. All the guests, of both s.e.xes were splendidly arrayed, and the entertainment pa.s.sed off with undiminished eclat.

But we have already exceeded our limits, and have yet to speak of the highly gifted d.u.c.h.ess, who indeed deserves a chapter to be appropriated to herself, to which we shall now proceed, and to the acquaintance of other persons, matters, and things, connected with this our delectable history.

CHAPTER III.

Haec mulier, genere atque forma, preterea viro atque liberis, satis fortunata fuit: litteris Graecis et Latinis docta, * *

* * prorsus multae facetiae multusque lepos inerat.

SALl.u.s.t.

The n.o.ble guests sat long and cheerfully to celebrate with due honour the baptismal day; while potations of claret, liberally flowing, and constantly renovated from _magnum_ bottles, according to the approved custom and social fellowship and habit of the times, were deep and frequent.[12] The splendid supper which followed the sumptuous dinner was accompanied with the unqualified commendations of Sir Patricius, who insisted "that it even excelled the Roman banquets of Lucullus or Apicius; and was in sooth so luxurious, that, verily, his old friend Flaccus would have called it a _dubia coena_; and although they had neither the juice of the Tuscan nor Falernian grape, they had still n.o.bler potations to quaff!" And it has been currently reported that his actions sagely comported, _pari pa.s.su_, with his a.s.severations, that he "suited the action to the word," and did most ample, nay summary justice, to testify beyond all possible contradiction how highly his palate lauded the excellence of the entertainment! All this was confidently and cautiously whispered, and discreetly intrusted to a chosen few. But it met with the fate usually attendant upon all such confidential communications, _videlicet_, to be made known and published in a few hours to the unselected many; or in other words, to all the king's liege subjects throughout the vicinity!

[12] This fondness for drinking is noticed in Lord Strafford's Letters.--"In Ireland, where drinking was grown a disease epidemical."--_Appendix to Lord Strafford's Letters_, vol. II. p.