She was in a fair way, quite innocently, of becoming a drunkard."

Another famous stomach bitters was found to contain, according to an official State a.n.a.lysis, 44 per cent. of alcohol; another mixture contained 20 per cent. of alcohol; a certain blood bitters contained 25 per cent. of alcohol; a sarsaparilla 26 per cent.; a celery compound 21 per cent.; the malt whiskey is in this cla.s.s and is a particularly obnoxious fraud, for it pretends to be a medicine and to relieve all kinds of lung and throat disease. It is especially favored by temperance people because in this way they get their "grog" in the guise of a medicine. It is sold in many places across the bar of saloons at 15 cents per drink, as many other brands of rye and Bourbon whisky are sold.

Think of treating any disease of the stomach with the famous stomach bitters containing 44 per cent. of alcohol,--just 6 per cent. less than the amount of alcohol in an ordinary bottle of whisky. Yet all of these patent medicines have made fortunes for their owners, some of them have made millions in a few years.

A number of years ago a company with a keen vision for profits conceived the idea of bottling the water of the Great Lakes and selling it at almost champagne prices. When delivered to the druggist ready for sale the "remedy" contained 99 per cent. water, the other 1 per cent.

consisting of a few drops of an inert acid, used simply to give it a slight tart taste. The preparation had absolutely no medical utility of any description.

One of the greatest advertising crusades ever carried out in the interest of a patent medicine was inaugurated and in these advertis.e.m.e.nts it was claimed that it would cure:--

Asthma, Bronchitis, Coughs, Colds, Cancer, Dyspepsia, Fevers, Hay Fever, Leucorrhea, Piles, Quinsy, Skin Diseases, Throat Troubles, Abscess, Blood Poison, Consumption, Catarrh, Dandruff, Gallstones, Influenza, Malaria, Rheumatism, Tuberculosis, Anemia, Bowel Troubles, Contagious Diseases, Dysentery, Diarrhea, Eczema, Erysipelas, Goiter, Gout, La Grippe, Neuralgia, Scrofula, Tumors, Ulcers,

all diseases that begin with fever, inflammations, all catarrh, all contagious diseases, all the results of impure or poisoned blood. "In nervous diseases this remedy acts as a vitalizer, accomplishing what no drugs can do." These are the exact words of the advertis.e.m.e.nt. It ought to take a stronger vitalizer than water from the Great Lakes to induce anyone to believe such a story; and yet this company attained a remarkable success and had no difficulty in obtaining thousands of testimonials.

We are certainly a nation of dupes, and Barnum's dictum, that "the public loves to be fooled," is literally true. In a number of instances the proprietor of a successful remedy has been asked under oath if his preparation had any curative value and he has refused to answer the question, while thousands of foolish people have sent him unsolicited testimonials a.s.serting its remarkable merits as a cure in all kinds of conditions. Some of these ignorant people actually believe what they write, but most of them write "to see their name in the paper," while many of them are paid for it.

It was stated in the literature sent all over the country by this company that their remedy was really liquid oxygen. It would be nearer the truth to state that the moon was made of green cheese. The one a.s.sertion can be disproved, the other cannot with scientific exactness.

Liquid oxygen practically does not exist. a.s.suming that it could be obtained in teaspoonful doses, and a.s.suming that some dauntless individual made the attempt to take a dose, he would never swallow it for the reason that it would freeze his teeth, tongue, mouth, and throat, so that they would be useless to him for the remainder of his life. If by any miracle it could be swallowed, the undertaker would have to thaw him out over a stove in order to a.s.sure him a respectable burial. We may safely feel certain that the nostrum was not liquid oxygen. It is, however, a very fair sample of the foolish kind of lies which all of these nostrum venders employ,--they are after, and appeal only to the ignorant. I am informed that the directors of this company decided to retire as ordinary millionaires rather than risk the chance of developing nervous prostration, in which event they might have felt it somewhat disloyal not to have taken their own medicine.

HEADACHE REMEDIES.--Most headache remedies are dangerous. The following are in this cla.s.s; orange powders, bromo powders, pain powders, headache powders, anti-headache, and practically all headache powders or remedies sold in drug stores.

Many deaths are on record from the use of orange powders and from others. There are many examples of what an unthinking individual may do to helpless little children.

Orange powders were recommended for the cure of asthma, biliousness, headache, colds, catarrh, grip, diarrhea, hay fever, insomnia, neuralgia, seasickness, and sciatica. There is no known cure for a number of these diseases, and apart from the malicious a.s.sumption of the claim, orange powders will not cure any of them.

Another dangerous headache nostrum, widely advertised all over the country, is responsible for many deaths as a result of its use. It is absolutely unsafe, as previously stated, to use any of these remedies.

Death by heart failure is on the increase in this country and it may safely be attributed to the indiscriminate use of these powerful and toxic nostrums.

The "soothing syrups" depend upon opium to effect their result. The drugging of helpless infants has been a source of profit to the vender of patent medicines for many years. A certain Baby Friend,--a touching name, and in which one would not expect to find an enemy in the guise of a deadly poison,--is a combination of sweetened water and morphine. This disgraceful mixture, considering the use for which it was designed, would be bad enough if it was the evil concoction of a man rendered irresponsible by a strenuous craving for blood-money, but to know that its proprietor is a woman seems beyond belief. I wonder if she would feel sufficiently respectable and decently clean enough to stand on the platform and face an audience of American mothers? I think not.

Catarrh powders contain, as a rule, cocaine, one of the most insidious and dangerous of drugs. None of them cure catarrh, they simply relieve for the time being at the expense of injuring more vital parts. Their use also very frequently disposes the victim to postpone treatment that would be beneficial until too late. M----'s Kidney Pills were said to cure Bright's disease, gravel, all urinary troubles and pain in the back or groins from kidney disease. a.n.a.lysis showed them to consist of ordinary white sugar. They contained absolutely no medication, and yet they were freely sold to cure the above serious conditions. A famous expectorant and an equally famous cough syrup contain opium and when taken for the cure of cough are distinctly dangerous.

It is foolish and unnecessary to name any other patent medicine in the list of those that are distinctly harmful and dangerous to use. There are hundreds of them. It would take a book of a thousand pages to give their names and write the data that have been obtained against them.

Every advertised medicine should be absolutely avoided. I could fill this book with the death certificates of those who have died as a result of the indiscriminate use of advertised nostrums. It is an appalling record; the unfortunate part being that it is impossible to acquaint every citizen with the facts.

Duplicity and misrepresentation are not confined to patent medicines.

Even the mineral waters are misrepresented and lied about. A much-advertised lithia water, before the pa.s.sage of the pure food and drugs act, was highly vaunted as a uric acid eliminant because of the lithia it was said to contain. Thousands, probably millions of gallons of it have been sold during the past twenty years, to people who could not very well afford to pay for it, because of this claim, despite the fact that it is well known that lithia is not a uric acid eliminant, and despite the additional important fact that the government a.n.a.lysis of this lithia water proved that it practically contained no lithia whatsoever. It is now being sold as an "alkaline diuretic." This claim is no better supported by facts than the former claim that it was a lithia water. Of course it is a diuretic, because water is the best diuretic we possess, but any ordinary pure water, which costs nothing, will just as effectually accomplish all that this lithia water could as a diuretic.

It is a fact that the judgment of a sick person is not reliable. For this reason a physician never tries to treat himself when sick, nor will a physician treat any member of his family for much the same reason. His sentiment overrules his judgment and he cannot depend upon his decisions. An individual who is not well may be influenced by an irresponsible person, or by a clever, subtly worded advertis.e.m.e.nt, to use remedies that are not only dangerous in themselves, but which are wholly unsuited to the condition for which they are taken.

Quite a common characteristic of sick people is unreasonableness. They become irritable and discouraged, and not being able to rely upon their own judgment they fail to render to themselves the degree of justice that is essential to peace of mind and a favorable convalescence. They may place themselves in the care of a reputable and thoroughly qualified physician, but if they do not observe distinct evidences of improvement within a very brief period they lose faith in him and change their doctor. They may do this a number of times, until finally they reach the conclusion that the entire medical profession is a fraud. They are then the legitimate victims of the patent medicine shark or the fake-curist.

Probably ninety-nine per cent. of the victims of these parasites are obtained in this way. The statement often seen in testimonials to the effect, that "the best doctors failed to cure me," is not true in any instance. The truth is, that the individual failed to give the doctors the opportunity to cure him, and the reason he did not give them the chance was because they treated him as a man and as a human being, which he proved not to be. Had the first doctor he consulted adopted the tactics of the quack he would have cured him in a much shorter time.

Instead of doing that, he told him the exact truth and charged him an ordinary office fee, while the quack told him lies and charged him a large sum of money to cure him. The latter gentleman, knowing the tendency to vacillate which these individuals have, ensured himself the time necessary to a cure by compelling him to pay the entire sum in advance, which is their universal custom. The patient, therefore, could not afford to change his doctor this time, and as time was all that was necessary to his cure, the wily and oily quack gets all the credit for effecting a cure, which "the best doctors could not accomplish." It is a simple game, and the explanation is just as simple, but there are those who will not see, and there are those who cannot be told.

It is not simple justice, however, to blame these individuals altogether. We must keep in mind the irresolute judgment which is to a certain extent a product of the ill-health with which the patient suffers and the consequent easy tendency to be persuaded one way or another. The way in which these people are influenced is always the wrong way for the following reason. No person with any judgment or common sense or justice or sympathy would be fool enough or inhuman enough to give advice to a suffering sick man or woman as to what he or she should do or take. These individuals do not lack advice, however.

There is always the pestering idiot around who knows exactly what should be done, and who does not hesitate to enter where an angel would fear to tread.

In the columns of almost every newspaper one may find promises of health, wealth and happiness for a dollar a bottle. Even consumption has been vaunted as an easily curable disease by a hundred different nostrums, though the truth is that it is incurable by any known drug.

Men who advertise these remedies are deliberately trafficking in human life, and they are thoroughly well aware of it. It is difficult to conceive of the type of manhood who would advertise a remedy as "The only sure cure for consumption in the world;" this was extensively done by the concern that put a certain "New Discovery for Consumption" on the market. Further announcement was made that "it strikes terror to the doctors," and that it was "the greatest discovery of the century." Every such a.s.sertion is a lie. It was found to be a mixture of morphine and chloroform. It is a wicked concoction to give to any human being in good health. To a consumptive it is admirably designed to shorten the life of anyone who will take it steadily in the hope of a cure. It certainly struck terror in the hearts of the doctors after its composition was known and when it was remembered to whom it was to be given.

"Consumption Cure" was found to contain one of the most deadly of known poisons,--prussic acid. In a booklet which was sent out by the proprietors of a certain cough syrup the following contemptible a.s.sertion is made: "There is no case of hoa.r.s.eness, cough, asthma, bronchitis, or consumption that cannot be cured speedily by the proper use of this cough syrup." Such a cruel and dangerously fraudulent statement is absolutely inexplicable to any honest mind. Dr. ----'s ---- pills for pale people, were advertised to cure paralysis. They were found to be made of green vitriol, starch and sugar.

Those who bought these nostrums not only wasted their money, but they threw away any chance of relief they have, by failing to adopt the proper treatment until it was too late.

In directing the attention of mothers to the evil of the patent medicine business it is my earnest hope that they will give to the subject something more than a mere pa.s.sing interest. To an intelligent individual no lengthy argument,--other than the recital of such facts as are given in this article,--is necessary to prove that it is an evil which is deserving of the most serious consideration.

The business is one that appeals only to the ignorant. This is a plain and probably a harsh a.s.sertion, nevertheless it is absolutely the simple truth. The language and the reasoning of the nostrum vender are not designed to appeal to the trained, educated mind, or to an individual possessing innate common sense. Even though the average person is unacquainted with the const.i.tuents of a remedy that apparently enjoys a large success, the absurd claims made for it should safeguard them against its use. Few would have purchased ordinary water at $1.00 a bottle had they known what they were buying. But an individual with any reasoning ability or ordinary common sense, should have been sceptical regarding the merits of any remedy that was claimed to "cure," among other diseases, consumption, cancer, rheumatism, malaria, gallstones, asthma, blood poison, dandruff, and all contagious diseases. It would be impossible to conceive a more mendacious and absurd claim, and it would be impossible to concoct a more impertinently foolish a.s.sumption than to a.s.sume that such a claim would receive the consideration of a sane mind.

Unfortunately, however, we are compelled to recognize that there are some curious people in the world, people whose reasoning methods are inexplicable, whose conclusions are not based upon any system of ethics or of logic. They believe what they choose to believe, irrespective of the quality of the testimony which may be advanced to refute their belief. The following incident ill.u.s.trates this peculiar perversity: A woman patient of mine suffered from an obstinate and hara.s.sing cough.

Though her general health was rather poor, her lungs were not affected.

The cough persisted in spite of all efforts of specialists to alleviate it. The nervous condition of the patient, and an unusually long spell of inclement March weather, were directly responsible for the intractable character of the ailment. I advised her to visit Florida. This advice was given because her parents were then residing in that State. She did go to Florida and her husband informed me a few weeks later that she was entirely free from the cough and was enjoying good health. A number of months later, shortly after her return home, I was called to attend her husband. During the conversation incident to the call, she asked if I "knew what cured her awful cough." Somewhat amazed, I replied, "Certainly, Florida." She answered, with positive emphasis, "No, sir, Florida did not." I then asked her to please explain the mystery and was regaled with the following interesting information:

A few days after she reached Florida she met a woman--one of those irresponsible individuals who meander through life giving free advice upon subjects which they know nothing about, who talk eruptively and voluminously because talking is an easily acquired habit. This particular missionary of evil immediately confided to her the secret of her life, how she was made a well woman and cured wholly of all physical ills. She told her there was a man in Kansas who had discovered a liquid, which, if dropped into the eye twice daily, would cure any disease afflicting any member of the human family. This exuberant spider induced her victim to enter her parlor where she convinced her at her leisure that she was preaching the gospel. The result was that our friend sent to Kansas for the "Elixir of Life." Meantime the climate of Florida was doing its work. But just at this psychological moment the "elixir" arrived. Two drops of the precious liquid were, with due solemnity and deliberation, instilled into her eye and in a few days her cough began to mend. It would have been waste of time to have asked if she really believed the drops to be responsible for her cure. She spoke with the enthusiastic conviction of a disciple of a worthier cause. I inquired if she possessed any literature explaining the method of cure, and she presented me with the printed matter which is sent with the bottle. I told her I would look it over and tell her what I thought of it later.

The _Message of Facts_, which was the t.i.tle of the newspaper, (it was printed like a newspaper and of the size of an ordinary paper), contained complete information regarding the "wonderful remedy" and its discoverer. He a.s.sumed the t.i.tle of Professor and candidly admitted that he had been arrested a number of times for practicing medicine without a license. He a.s.serted that the reason of his numerous arrests was because the medical profession in the State of Kansas, being jealous of his success instigated a course of insistent persecution against him. He further a.s.serted that he offered to sell his discovery to the State, but the State refused to purchase it, consequently he had to go on practicing to earn a living. With reference to his method of treatment he stated:

"Despite the fact that medical men are too unfair and too prejudiced to accord Professor ---- the credit he has justly earned, there is no getting away from the plain truth, that the great scientist has originated a method of conquering human ills that has completely revolutionized the long-cherished theories of the medical schools."

And further, "... being the discoverer of my system and the only man in the world practicing it, and having all cures and no cases of injury as my record shows ..."

Note that, in the first quotation, he a.s.serts that his methods have revolutionized the old-time theories. This would surely imply that the medical schools, having been compelled to note his successful ways, were compelled likewise to change their theories and teach his way of curing disease. Despite this strong and robust a.s.sertion he states, in the second quotation, that he is the only man in the world practicing his methods. Evidently he did not revolutionize to any very great extent.

He claimed to be able to cure any human ill, and particularly emphasized his ability to cure consumption, Bright's disease, diabetes, epilepsy, asthma, stomach troubles, nervous prostration, blindness, female diseases, paralysis, heart and kidney diseases.

He, of course, does not state the nature of his remedy. It consists of a liquid which is dropped into the eye, and the procedure is the same, no matter what disease afflicts the patient. It is not essential to write at length his explanation of the way in which this "marvelous discovery" effects its cures. Suffice it to say, that it is a tissue of anatomical and physiological misrepresentation. He admittedly is uneducated and possesses absolutely no knowledge of even elementary medicine. His explanation is, therefore, to a medical mind, a ludicrous and an absurd attempt to tell what he does not understand. Of course, his explanation is not supposed to fall into the hands of a physician, and to a lay person, who understands as little as he does, it sounds all right. We must again fall back on the foolish claims he makes and on the basis of common sense we fail to understand how anyone can believe such stuff. Yet the woman who firmly believes that her cough was cured by this man has enthusiastically recommended the nostrum to a number of other women who have various ailments, all of whom are using it under her experienced instructions.

This is a very good ill.u.s.tration of how these impostors and charlatans succeed. This woman was approached at the psychological moment and was influenced to buy. It did not necessarily have to be these drops. It might just as well have been any other patent medicine, or any fake cure. It would have worked just the same for the reason that it was the climate of Florida that did the work. It is absurd to devote time even to consider the probability of the drops having aided in the cure. This man's whole scheme is a fake, pure and simple. No part of it has any merit. In other words, his remedy is no remedy at all, it is simply the mildest, ordinary eye wash, which may be bought in any drug store for ten cents. He charges $5.00, but think of the story he writes, think of the promises he gives and the claims he makes, and the paper he prints,--these all cost money and time and labor, and you must pay for them. And I know a woman who is putting these drops in her eye twice daily in the hope of correcting a displaced womb. Could the brain of the most facile weaver of romance conceive a more utterly absurd and pitiful condition of affairs than that an adult human being should be guilty of doing what an intelligent ant would not do under any circ.u.mstances?

When the "professor" claims that he refuses to "give up" his secret unless the State of Kansas adequately remunerates him for it, which, of course, it rightly refuses to do--he demonstrates how absolutely devoid of horse sense he is. No man with a "cure" for consumption--without mentioning the many other equally remunerative "cures" which this wizard owns, and which may be appended to the consumption "cure" just as the side-shows journey in the wake of the big circus--need waste his precious time d.i.c.kering with the unappreciative State of Kansas. If his "cure" is anywhere near twenty-four carat gold he can own the State of Kansas and he may add another one to it for good measure. Any man capable of doing one-thousandth part of what this wily "professor"

claims to be able to do, would make so much money that it would embarra.s.s him all the rest of his life. One of his claims is that he can cure epilepsy. If he could cure epilepsy he wouldn't be allowed to stay twenty-four hours in the State of Kansas. Every civilized country on the face of the earth would bid for his services as an economic necessity because as an investment he would be cheap at any price.

CHAPTER x.x.xI

THE PATENT MEDICINE EVIL--Continued

The ---- Consumption Cure--Personals to Consumptives--Nature's Creation--Female Weakness Cures--Various Compounds and Malt Whiskies.

FRAUDULENT TESTIMONIALS

It would indeed seem to be an act of supererogation to compile further evidence of the infamy of this entire business: what additional proof is necessary?

A certain Dr. H. of ----, Mich., published widely the following advertis.e.m.e.nt:

"Gains 17 Pounds After Every One Gave Her Up.