More accurately, while at Chrysalis I check in with the doms and their subs and then visit the stables, where young men with pony fetishes role play with tails inserted in their asses and hour long erections. Men who'd be otherwise condemned by society, and the only way they function at an optimum level in life is to fulfill their penchant in a safe and nurturing environment, with Dominic as their stable master.

Laura pulled her legs out from under her and sat squarely facing me. "And then you go home to that big house of yours and have wild, unadulterated sex with some young woman you've seduced. A woman who probably won't hear from you again after you've turned her life upside down."

Before Mia, I'd wandered my Beverly Hills mansion alone, the only respite those cherished fencing sessions with Shay. Or delving into my beloved books in my library in an effort to hold back the loneliness.

"God you're good, Laura."

"Cam, I need you to respect my judgment call on this one, okay?"

Fuck.

"We'll get this out of the way and you can both move on. She can move on."

I glanced at my watch. Mia would be here soon and I hated the idea she might bump into Zie.

"Push your plans, Cameron," she said. "We only need an hour. Then it's over."

"And Zie will leave me alone?"

"Yes, I believe this will go a long way to making that happen."

I relented with a nod.

"Well done," she said.

Tugging on my shirt cuffs one at a time, I ran through all the ways I could have handled this better, like questioning Laura on why she'd refurnished her office in this European flair, or where she'd purchased that print by Lilly Drey, the artist having a knack for capturing the curves of voluptuous women.

This wasn't Laura's style.

And I'd not seen her wear that shade of lipstick before.

"How long have you been seeing this guy?" I asked.

She waved it off. "Oh, and if you feel the need for Mia to have any more sessions with a therapist, my door's always open. As Mia's fiance, you can't treat her. As you well know."

"We're not engaged," I said. "A misunderstanding. I've clarified our position with my family. We'll make a public announcement once everything has settled down."

"Settled down?"

"The psychiatric board's trial is behind us. Yes, the case is closed, but there's formalities. Legal fine tuning."

"I'm curious," she said. "How would you define your relationship with Mia?"

"Private."

"Do you ever see yourself marrying her?"

"Mia's remarkable."

"You didn't answer my question, Cam."

"She's a breath of fresh air."

"Perhaps it would be unwise to leave another woman decimated in your wake," she said flatly, slicing through my dignity with the shrewdness of a well-practiced bitch.

I had the perspicuous skills to perform the fencing equivalent of an Attaque au Fer and take Laura so far down the path of self-hate she'd not recover.

I felt merciful and offered a polite smile.

"You once told me McKenzie was the closest you'd ever come to getting hitched." She lowered her gaze. "Zie is very compelling."

"Yes, she is."

"A brilliant mind and body to die for," she said. "Most men wouldn't have let her go so easily."

"And your point?"

"You loved her so much you didn't believe you were worthy of such an incredible woman."

"Oh, I'm worthy."

Laura looked offended.

"Ever consider I'm protecting Zie from you?" I said. "After all, we spent a great deal of time together and we shared a rare intimacy." I broke Laura's gaze as a memory flashed into focus.

Regret swept over me like a dark cloud of guilt. I'd not handled Zie's predilections well. I should've pulled her back from the brink before she'd indulged her darkest desires. Zie's insatiable need to push herself into the very center of debauchery fractured everything we'd built. She'd turned something beautiful, us, into a sordid mess, leaving me with nothing but the memory of never being enough.

"Any change of heart in your future?" asked Laura.

"With Zie?" I resisted scoffing.

Laura shifted uncomfortably. A small blush colored her cheeks.

I ran through my words to see what had rattled Laura. My gaze settled on her trash can beneath her desk and I ruminated on why my subconscious was leading me to look at it.

The phone rang in my office.

"We were talking about marriage?" said Laura.

"Love can't be defined by a legal document-"

"We humans are so infallible," she said.

My iPhone buzzed and I glanced at a text from Shay: Fencing still on?

Shay couldn't go more than five days without challenging me. And challenge me he did. His deftness with a blade was unsurpassed. Agreeing to another match was my way of maintaining his pride because I ruled him in every other way.

Seven I texted back.

"Everything okay, Cameron?"

I tucked my phone back into my pocket. "Yes."

"We were discussing how contracts are inevitably breeched," Laura said.

"And who wants to keep a vow that states for better or for worse?" I said. "Who settles for fucking worse?"

Mia stood in the doorway.

She raised the paper bag she was holding. "I brought you a pastry from Charlie's," she said meekly. "And one for you too, Dr. Laura."

"That's very sweet of you, Mia," said Laura, hiding her cringe.

Mia's uncertain gaze found me again.

CHAPTER 18.

MIA'S FINGERS SCRUNCHED the paper bag.

Other than that, her face returned to calm.

I rose to my feet and said, "Mia, let's go to my office."

With a quick nod to Laura to let her know she'd done enough damage for today, I took Mia's hand in mine and led her into my office.

I shut the door and locked it.

Mia placed the paper bag on my desk and gracefully strolled over to the window. The way her blue eyes caught mine reflected forgiveness even in the wake of cruelty. Yes, she was strong, but vulnerable too, and this made me feel like I'd captured a rare creature.

And just hurt her.

"Mia," I whispered.

Her silhouette caught the morning light streaming in and sunshine shimmered off wisps of her golden locks. She appeared ethereal. Her petite frame hid the fact she could be feisty, and the passion burning within her would floor any man. She was so damn beautiful and each time I saw her again I was stunned by how dazzling she was.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "Mia, you heard part of a conversation-"

She spun round. "I'm only twenty-one. Who says I want to get married yet anyway?"

A wave of concern hit me when I realized she wasn't wearing her collar.

"Mia, let me explain-"

"It's fine."

"It's not fine." I moved toward her. "What you heard was out of context."

She cupped my face with her hands. "If all I had was today to love you, it would be more than most women have in a lifetime. You've given me so much, Cameron. Shown me so much. I don't regret one second of it, and if you and I ever became more it wouldn't be something I'd take for granted. It would be a miracle that we found each other and that we're so perfect for each other."

She melted against my chest and I hugged her, closing my eyes, drawn into this moment, soothed by her gentleness. I breathed in her delicate perfume.

A spellbinding scent that both comforted and fired my senses.

Pure Mia.

"Are you doing okay?" she whispered, her expression full of concern.

I relented with a nod. "Laura pushed a few buttons and I failed to subdue my response."

"You sit there and I'll sit here." She sat in my therapist's chair, gesturing to the large black wooden carved leather seat opposite. The chair reserved for clients.

I folded my arms and stared at her.

"We'll talk," she said. "You can tell me what's upset you. Go on, sit."

"Up." I grabbed her hand. "Sit here."

We made our way over to the large sofa and she kicked off her shoes.

I sat beside her. "Where's your collar?"

Her fingers traced her throat. "Didn't want to wear it to Charlie's," she said. "Didn't seem right."

Brushing a stray hair out of her face, I marveled at her thoughtfulness. Her gaze was kind and understanding-blue irises overshadowed by revealing dilated pupils.

A stab of doubt.

I always saw too much.

"What buttons did Dr. Laura push?" she asked.

I began cautiously. "Laura believes it will be good for McKenzie if we have a session together."

"You and McKenzie?"

"Laura will be present."

Mia looked thoughtful. "Sounds a little awkward."

"Yes, well there were two options on the table. This or the other one, which is to gouge my eyes out with a burning hot spoon. Right now it's the front runner."

She smiled. "Why?"