said Echo; "why, every move upon the board is a character, and not one but what is worth booking. Observe the arch slyness of the jockey yonder, ear-wigging his patron, a young blood of the fancy, into a _good thing_; particularising all the capabilities and qualities of the different horses named, and making the event (in his own estimation) as _sure as the Bank of England_:--how finely contrasted with the easy indifference of the dignified sportsman near him, who leaves all to chance, spite of the significant nods and winks from a regular _artiste_ near him, who never suffers him to make a bet out of the ring, if it is possible to prevent him, by throwing in a little suspicion, in order that he and his friends may have the plucking of their victim exclusively. The portly-looking man in the left-hand corner _(see ~329~~plate)_ is Mr. Tanfield, one of the greatest betting men on the turf; who can lose and pay twenty thousand without moving a muscle, and pocket the like sum without indulging in a smile; always steady as old Time, and never giving away a chance, but carefully keeping his eye upon c.o.c.ker (i. e. his book), to see how the odds stand, and working away by that system which is well understood under the term management. In front of him is the sporting Earl of Sefton, and that highly-esteemed son of Nimrod, Colonel Hilton Joliffe,--men of the strictest probity, and hence often appointed referees on matters in dispute.

[Ill.u.s.tration: page329]

Lawyer L----, and little Wise-man, are settling their differences with _bluff_ Bland, who carries all his bets in his memory till he reaches home, because a book upon the spot would be useless. In the right-hand corner, just in front of old General B----n, is John Gully, once the pugilist, but now a man of considerable property, which has been princ.i.p.ally acquired by his knowledge of calculation, and strict attention to honourable conduct: there are few men on the turf more respected, and very few among those who keep _betting_ books whose conduct will command the same approbation. The old beau in the corner is Sir Lumley S----n, who, without the means to bet much, still loves to linger near the scene of former extravagance." "A good disciple of Lavater," said Transit, "might tell the good or ill fortunes of those around him, by a slight observance of their countenances. See that merry-looking, ruby-faced fellow just leaving the door of the subscription-room: can any body doubt that he has _come off all right_?--or who would dispute that yon pallid-cheeked gentleman, with a long face and quivering lip, betrays, by the agitation of his nerves, the extent of his sufferings? The peer with a solemn visage tears out his last check, turns upon his heel, whistles a tune, and sets against the gross amount of his losses another mortgage of ~330~~the family acres, or a _post obit_ upon some expectancy: the regular sporting man, the out and outer, turns to his book--

'For there he finds, _no matter who has won_,{1} Whichever animal, or mare, or colt; Nay, though each horse that started for't should bolt, Or all at once fall lame, or die, or stray, He yet must pocket hundreds by the day.'"

Two or three amusing scenes took place among those who wanted, and those who had nothing to give, but yet were too honourable to _levant_: many exhibited outward and visible signs of inward grief. A man of metal dropped his last sovereign with a sigh, but chafed a little about false reports of chaunting up a losing horse, doing the _thing neatly_, keeping the secret, and other such like delicate innuendoes, which among sporting men pa.s.s current, provided the losers pay promptly. Several, who had gone beyond their depth, were recommended to the consideration of the humane, in hopes that time might yet bring them about. We had now pa.s.sed more than two hours among the motley group, when Tom, having exchanged the time o'day with most of his sporting friends, proposed an adjournment to _Fishmongers' Hall_, or, as he prefaced it, with a visit to the New Club in St. James's-street; to which resort of Greeks and gudgeons we immediately proceeded.

[Ill.u.s.tration: page331]

We had just turned the corner of St. James's-street, and were preparing to ascend the steps which lead to the New Club, as Crockford's establishment is termed, when old Crony accosted me.

1 To all but betting men, this must appear impossible; but management is every thing; and with a knowledge of the secret, according to turf logic, it is one hundred to one against calculation, and, by turf mathematics, five hundred to one against any event coming right upon the square. In the sporting phrase, 'turf men never back any thing to win;'

they have no favourites, unless there is a X; and their common practice is to accommodate all, by taking the odds, till betting is reduced to a _certainty_.

~331~~He had it seems come off by the Brighton ten o'clock coach, and was now, "according to his usual custom i' the afternoon," on the look-out for an _invite_ to a good dinner and a bottle. As I knew he would prove an agreeable, if not a very useful companion in our present enterprise, I did not hesitate to present him to Echo and Transit, who, upon my very flattering introduction, received him graciously; although Bob hinted he was rather _too old_ for a _play-fellow_, and Echo whispered me to keep a _sharp lookout_, as he strongly suspected he was a _staff officer_ of the _new Greek corps of Sappers and Miners_. In London you can neither rob nor be robbed genteelly without a formal introduction: how Echo had contrived it I know not, but we were very politely ushered into the grand club-room, a splendid apartment of considerable extent, with a bow-window in front, exactly facing White's.

To speak correctly of the elegance and taste displayed in the decorations and furniture, not omitting the costly sideboard of richly-chased plate, I can only say it rivalled any thing I had ever before witnessed, and was calculated to impress the young mind with the most extravagant ideas of the wealth and magnificence of the members or _committee_. The Honourable Mr. B----, one of the brothers of the Earl of R----, was the _procureur_ to whom, I found, we were indebted, for the present _honour_--a gay man, of some fashionable notoriety, whose fortune is said to have suffered severely by his attachment to the _orthodox orgies_ at the once celebrated Gothic Hall, when Parson John Ambrose used to officiate as the presiding minister. "Here he is a member of the committee," said Crony, "and, with his brother and the old Lord F----, the Marquis H----, Colonel C----, and the Earl of G----, forms the _secret directory_ of the New Club, which is considered almost as good a thing as a Mexican mine; for, if report speaks truly, the amount ~332~~of the profits in the last season exceeded one hundred thousand pounds, after payment of expenses." A sudden crash in the street at this moment drew the attention of all to the window, where an accident presented a very ominous warning to those within _(see plate)_.

"A regular break down," said Echo. "_Floored_" said Transit, "_but not much the matter_." "I beg your pardon, sir," said a wry-mouthed portly-looking gentleman, who stood next to Bob; "it is a very _awkward_ circ.u.mstance to have occurred just here: I'll bet ten to one it spoils all the _play_ to-night; and if any of those newspaper fellows get to hear of it, _Fishmongers' Hall_ and its members will figure in print again to-morrow;" and with that he bustled off to the street to a.s.sist in re-producing a _move_ with all possible celerity. "Who the deuce was the queer-looking _c.a.w.ker_?" we all at once inquired of Crony.

"What, gentlemen! not know the director-general, the accomplished commander-in-chief, the thrice-renowned c.o.c.ker Crockford? (so named from his admirable tact at calculation): why, I thought every one who had witnessed a horse-race, or a boxing-match, or betted a guinea at Tattersall's, must have known the _director_, who has been a notorious character among the sporting circles for the last thirty years: and, if truth be told, is not the worst of a bad lot. About five-and-twenty years since I remember him," said Crony, "keeping a snug little fishmonger's shop, at the corner of Ess.e.x-street, in the Strand, where I have often betted a guinea with him on a trotting match, for he was then fond of _the thing_, and attended the races and fights in company with old Jerry Cloves, the lighterman, who is now as well _breeched_ as himself. It is a very extraordinary fact," continued Crony, "and one which certainly excites suspicion, that almost all those who have made large fortunes by the turf or play are men of obscure origin, who, but a few years since, were not worth a guinea, ~333~~while those by whom they have risen are now reduced to beggary." How many representatives of n.o.ble houses, and splendid patrimonies, handed down with increasing care from generation, to generation, have been ruined and dissipated by this pernicious vice! --the gay and inexperienced nipped in the very bud of life, and plunged into irretrievable misery--while the high-spirited and the n.o.ble-minded victims to false honour, too often seek a refuge from despair in the grave of the suicide! Such were the reflections that oppressed my mind while contemplating the scene before me: I was, however, roused from my reverie by Crony's continuation of the _director's_ history. "He bears the character of an honourable man,"

said our Mentor, "among the play world, and has the credit of being scrupulously particular in all matters of play and pay. For the fashion of his manners, they might be much improved, certainly; but for generosity and a kind action, there are very few among the _Greeks_ who excel the old fishmonger. He was formerly a.s.sociated with T--l-r and others in the French Hazard Bank, at Watier's Club House, corner of Bolton-row; but T--l-r, having purchased the house without the knowledge of his partners, wanted so many exclusive advantages for himself, that the director withdrew, just in time to save himself from the obloquy of an affair which occurred shortly afterwards, in which certain persons were charged with using false dice. The complainant, a young sprig of fashion, seized the _unhallowed bones_, and bore them off in triumph to a stick shop in the neighbourhood; where, for some time afterwards, they were exhibited to the gaze of many a fashionable dupe. The circ.u.mstance produced more than one good effect--it prevented a return of any disposition to play on the part of the detector, and closed the house for ever since." After the dinner, which was served up in a princely style, we were invited by the Honourable to ~334~~view the upper apartment, called the Grand Saloon, a true picture of which accompanies this, from the pencil of my friend, Bob Transit, and into which he has contrived to introduce the affair of the cogged dice _(see plate)_, a licence always allowable to poets and painters in the union of time and place. The characters here will speak for themselves.

[Ill.u.s.tration: page335]

They are all sketches from the life, and as like the originals as the reflection of their persons would be in a looking-gla.s.s. By the frequenters of such places they will be immediately recognised; while to the uninitiated the family cognomen is of little consequence, and is omitted, as it might give pain to worthy bosoms who are not yet irrecoverably lost. By the strict rules of _Fishmongers' Hall_, the members of Brookes', White's, Boodle's, the Cocoa Tree, Alfred and Travellers' clubs only are admissible; but this restriction is not always enforced, particularly where there is a chance of a _good bite_.

The princ.i.p.al game played here is French Hazard, the director and friends supplying the bank, the premium for which, with what the box-money produces, forms no inconsiderable source of profit. It is ridiculous to suppose any unfair practices are ever resorted to in the general game; in a mixed company they would be easily detected, and must end in the ruin of the house: but the chances of the game, calculation, and superior play, give proficients every advantage, and should teach the inexperienced caution. "It is heart-rending," said Crony, whom I had smuggled into one corner of the room, for the purpose of enjoying his remarks free from observation, "to observe the progress of the unfortunate votaries to this destructive vice, as they gradually proceed through the various stages of its seductive influence. The young and thoughtless are delighted with the fascination of the scene: to the more profligate sensualist it affords an opportunity of enjoying the choicest _liqueurs_, coffee, and wines, ~335~~free of expense; and, although he may have no money to lose himself, he can do the house a _good turn_, by introducing some _pigeon_ who has _just come out_; and he is therefore always a welcome visitor. At Crockford's, all games where the aid of mechanism would be necessary are cautiously avoided, not from any moral dislike to _Rouge et Noir or Roulette_, but from the apprehension of an occasional visit from the police, and the danger attending the discovery of such apparatus, which, from its bulk, cannot easily be concealed. In the s.p.a.ce of an hour Echo had lost all the money he possessed, and had given his I O U for a very considerable sum; although frequently urged to desist by Transit, who, with all his love of life and frolic, is yet a decided enemy to gaming. One excess generally leads to another. From Tattersall's we had pa.s.sed to Crockford's; and on quitting the latter it was proposed we should visit Tom Belcher's, the Castle Tavern, Holborn, particularly as on this night there was a weekly musical muster of the _fancy_, yclept the _Daffy Club_; a scene rich in promise for the pencil of our friend Bob, of sporting information to Echo, and full of characteristic subject for the observation of the English Spy--of that eccentric being, of whom, I hope, I may continue to sing '_esto perpetua_!'

Life is, with him, a golden dream, A milky way, where all's serene.

Wit's treasured stores his humour wait,-- His volume, man in every state,-- From grave to gay, from rich to poor, From gilded dome to rustic door.

Through all degrees life's varied page, He shows the manners of the age.

The Daffy Club presents to the eye of a calm observer a fund of entertainment; to the merry mad-wag who is fond of _life_, blowing his _steamer_, and drinking _blue ruin_, until all is blue before him, a ~336~~source of infinite amus.e.m.e.nt; the convivial finds his antidote to the rubs and jeers of this world in a rum chaunt; while the out and outer may here open his mag-azine of tooth-powder, cause a grand explosion, and never fear to meet a broadside in return. The knowing cove finds his account in looking out for the green ones, and the greens find their head sometimes a little heavier, and their pockets lighter, by an accidental rencontre with the fancy. To see the place in perfection, a stranger should choose the night previous to some important mill, when our host of the Castle plays second, and all the lads are mustered to _stump up_ their blunt, or to catch the important _whisper_ where the _scene of action_ is likely to be (for there is always due caution used in the disclosure), to take a peep at the pugilists present, and trot off as well satisfied as if he had partaken of a splendid banquet with the Great Mogul.

The long room is neatly fitted up, and lighted with gas; and the numerous sporting subjects, elegantly framed and glazed, have rather an imposing effect upon the entrance of the visitor, and among which may be recognised animated likenesses of the late renowned Jem Belcher, and his daring compet.i.tor (that inordinate glutton) Burke. The fine whole-length portrait of Mr. Jackson stands between those of the Champion and Tom Belcher; the father of the present race of boxers, old Joe Ward; the Jew phenomenon, Dutch Sam; Bob Gregson, in water colours, by the late John Emery, of Covent Garden theatre; the scientific contest between Humphreys and Mendoza; also the battle between Crib and Jem Belcher; a finely executed portrait of the late tremendous Molineux; portraits of Gulley, Randall, Harmer, Turner, Painter, Tom Owen, and Scroggins, with a variety of other subjects connected with the turf, chase, &c, including a good likeness of the dog Trusty, the champion of the canine race in fifty battles, and the favourite ~337~~animal of Jem Belcher, the gift of Lord Camelford--the whole forming a characteristic trait of the sporting world. The long table, or the ring, as it is facetiously termed, is where the _old slanders_ generally perch themselves to receive the visits of the swells, and give each other the office relative to pa.s.sing events: and what set of men are better able to speak of society in all its various ramifications, from the cabinet-counsellor to the _cosey costermonger_? Jemmy Soares, the president, must be considered a _downy one_; having served five apprenticeships to the office of sheriffs representative, and is as good a fellow in his way as ever _tapped a shy one_ upon the shoulder-joint, or let fly a _ca sa_ at your goods and chattels. Lucky Bob is a fellow of another stamp, "a _nation good vice_" as ever was attached to the house of _Brunswick_. Then comes our host, a civil, well-behaved man, without any of the exterior appearance of the ruffian, or perhaps I should say of his profession, and with all the good-natured qualifications for a peaceable citizen, and an obliging, merry landlord: next to him you will perceive the _immortal typo_, the all-accomplished Pierce Egan; an eccentric in his way, both in manner and person, but not deficient in that peculiar species of wit which fits him for the high office of historian of the ring. The ironical praise of Blackwood he has the good sense to turn to a right account, laughs at their satire, and pretends to believe it is all meant in _right-down earnest_ approbation of his extraordinary merits. For a long while after his great instructor's neglect of his friends, Pierce kept undisturbed possession of the throne; but recently compet.i.tors have shown themselves in the field _well found_ in all particulars, and carrying such witty and weighty ammunition wherewithal, that they more than threaten "to push the hero from his stool."{1} Tom 1 The editors of the Annals of Sporting, and Bell's Life in London, are both fellows of infinite wit.

~338~~Spring, who is fond of _c.o.c.king_ as well as fighting, is seen with his bag in the right-hand corner, chaffing with the Duck-lane doss man; while Lawyer L----e, a true sportsman, whether for the turf or chase, is betting the odds with brother Adey, Greek against Greek. Behind them are seen the heroes Scroggins and Turner; and at the opposite end of the table, a Wake-ful one, but a grosser man than either, and something of the _levanter_: the bald-headed stag on his right goes by the quaint cognomen of the _j.a.pan oracle_, from the retentive memory he possesses on all sporting and pugilistic events. The old waiter is a picture every frequenter will recognise, and the smoking a dozer no unusual bit of a spree. Here, my dear Bernard, you have before you a true portrait of the celebrated Daffy{2} Club, done from the life by our

2 The great lexicographer of the fancy gives the following definition of the word Daffy. The phrase was coined at the mint of the Fancy, and has since pa.s.sed current without ever being overhauled as queer. The Colossus of Literature, after all his nous and acute researches to explain the synonyms of the English language, does not appear to have been down to the interpretation of Daffy; nor indeed does Bailey or Sheridan seem at all fly to it; and even slang Grose has no touch of its extensive signification. The squeamish Fair One who takes it on the sly, merely to cure the vapours, politely names it to her friends as White Wine. The Swell chaffs it as Blue Ruin, to elevate his notions. The Laundress loves dearly a drain of Ould Tom, from its strength to comfort her inside. The drag Fiddler can toss off a quartern of Max without making a wry mug. The Costermonger illumines his ideas with a flash of lightning.' The hoa.r.s.e Cyprian owes her existence to copious draughts of Jacky. The Link-boy and Mud Larks, in joining their browns together, are for some Stark Naked.

And the Out and Outers, from the addition of bitters to it, in order to sharpen up a dissipated and damaged Victualling Office, cannot take any thing but Fuller's Earth. Much it should seem, therefore, depends upon a name; and as a soft sound is at all times pleasing to the listener--to have denominated this Sporting Society the Gin Club would not only have proved barbarous to the ear, but the vulgarity of the chant might have deprived it of many of its elegant friends. It is a subject, however, which it must be admitted has a good deal of Taste belonging to it--and as a Sporting Man would be nothing if he was not flash, the Daffy Club meet under the above t.i.tle.

~339~~mutual friend, Bob Transit (see plate), in closing my account of which I have only to say, we were not disappointed in our search after variety, and came away high in spirits, and perfectly satisfied with the good-humour and social intercourse of our eccentric a.s.sociates.

[Ill.u.s.tration: 339]

The sad, the sober, and the sentimental were all gone to roost, before our merry trio sallied forth from the Castle Tavern, ripe for any sport or spree. Of all the bucks in this buckish age, your London buck is the only true fellow of spirit; with him life never begins too early, or finishes too late; how many of the west-end _roues_ ride twenty miles out, in a cold morning, to meet the hounds, and after a hard day's run mount their hack and ride twenty miles home to have the pleasure of enjoying their own fire-side, or of relating the hair-breadth perils and escapes they have encountered, to their less active a.s.sociates at Long's or Stevens's, the Cider Cellar, or the Coal-hole! The general introduction of gas throws too clear a light upon many dark transactions and midnight frolics to allow the repet.i.tion of the scenes of former times: here and there to be sure an odd nook, or a dark cranny, is yet left unenlightened; but the leading streets of the metropolis are, for the most part, too well illuminated to allow the _spreeish_ or the _sprightly_ to carry on their jokes in security, or bolt away with safety when a charley thinks proper to set his _child a crying_.{3} We had crossed the road, in the direction of Chancery-lane, expecting to have met with a hackney _rattler_, but not one was to be found upon the stand, when Bob espied the broad _tilt_ of a _jarvey perched_ upon his _shop-board_, and impelling along, with no little labour of the whip, a pair of _anatomies_, whose external appearance showed they

3 Springing his rattle.

~340~~had benefited very little by the opening of the ports for oats, or the digestive operation of the new corn-bill. "Hired, old Jarvey?" said Echo, fixing himself in the road before the fiery charioteer. "No, but tired, young Davey," replied the dragsman. "Take a fare to Covent Garden?" "Not if I knows it," was the knowing reply; "so stir your stumps, my tight one, or I shall drive over you." "You had better take us," said Transit. "I tell you I won't; I am a day man, going home, and I don't take night jobs." "But I tell you, you must," said Echo; "so round with your drag, and we'll make your last day a long day, and give you the benefit of resurrection into the bargain." "Why, look ye, my jolly masters, if you're up to a lark of that 'ere sort, take care you don't get a floorer; I've got a rum customer inside what I'm giving a lift to for love--only Josh Hudson, the miller; and if he should chance to wake, I think he'll be for dusting some of your jackets." "What, my friend Josh inside?" vociferated Echo, "then it's all right: go it, my hearties; mount the box one on each hand, and make him drive us to the Finish--while I settle the matter with the inside pa.s.senger." Josh, who had all this time been taking _forty winks_, while on his road to his crony Belcher's, soon recognised his patron, Echo; and jarvey, finding that all remonstrance was useless, thought it better to make a "virtue of necessity;" so turning his machine to the right about, he, in due time, deposited us in the purlieus of Covent Garden. The hoa.r.s.e note of the drowsy night-guard reverberated through the long aisle of the now-forsaken piazzas, as the trembling flame of the parish lamp, flittering in its half-exhausted jet, proclaimed the approach of day; the heavy rumbling of the gardeners' carts, laden with vegetables for the ensuing market, alone disturbed the quiet of the adjoining streets.

In a dark angle might be seen the houseless wanderer, or the abandoned profligate, ~341~~gathered up like a lump of rags in a corner, and shivering with the nipping air. The gloom which surrounded us had, for a moment, chilled the wild exuberance of my companions' mirth; and it is more than probable we should have suspended our visit to the _Finish_, at least for that night, had not the jocund note of some uproarious Baccha.n.a.lian a.s.sailed our ears with the well-known college chant of old Walter de Mapes, "_Mihi est propositum in taberna mori_," which being given in G major, was re-echoed from one end to the other of the arched piazza: at a little distance we perceived the jovial singer reeling forwards, or rather working his way, from right to left, in sinuosities, along, or according to nautical phrase, upon __tack and half tack, bearing up to windward, in habiliments black as a crow, with the exception of his neckcloth and under vest; but judge our surprise and delight, when, upon nearer approach, we discovered the _bon vivant_ to be no other than our old friend Crony, who had been sacrificing to the jolly G.o.d with those choice spirits the members of the Beefsteak Club,{4} who meet in a room built expressly

4 This Club, which may boast among its members some of the most distinguished names of the age, including royalty itself, owed its origin to the talents of those celebrated artists Richards and Loutherbourg, whose scenic performances were in those days often exhibited to a select number of the n.o.bility and gentry, patrons of the drama and the arts, in the painting-room of the theatre, previous to their being displayed to the public. It was on one of those occasions that some n.o.blemen surprised the artist cooking his beef- steak for luncheon in his painting-room, and kindly partaking of the _dejeune a la fourchette_, with him, suggested and established the Beef-steak Club, which was originally, and up to the time of the fire, held in an apart-ment over the old Theatre Royal, Covent Garden; but since that period the members have been accommodated by Mr.

Arnold, who built the present room expressly for their use.

In page 216 of this work, allusion will be found by name to some of the brilliant wits who graced this festive board, and gave a l.u.s.tre to the feast. In the old place of meeting the identical gridiron on which Richards and Loutherbourg operated was to be seen attached to the ceiling, emblematical of the origin of the society, which may now be considered as the only relic left of that social intercourse which formerly existed in so many shapes between those who were distinguished for their n.o.ble birth and wealth, and the poorer, but equally ill.u.s.trious, of the children of Genius. It would be an act of injustice to the present race of scenic artists to close this note without acknowledging their more than equal merits to their predecessors: the Grieves (father and sons), Phillips, Marinari, Wilson, Tomkins, and Stanfield, are all names of high talent; but the novelty of their art has, from its general cultivation, lost much of this peculiar attraction.

~342~~for them over the audience part of the English Opera House. The ruby glow of the old boy's countenance shone like an omen of the merry humour of his mind. "What, out for a spree, boys, or just bailed from the watch-house, which is it? the alpha or omega, for they generally follow one another?" "Then you are in time for the _equivoque_, Crony,"

said Echo; "so enlist him, Transit;" and without more ceremony, Crony was marched off, __vi et armis, to the _Finish_, a coffee-house in James-street, Covent Garden, where the _peep-o'-day boys_ and _family men_ meet to conclude the night's debauch _(see plate)_; "_Video meliora proboque, Deteriora sequoi_;" you will exclaim, and 'tis granted; but

"_Lusus animo debent aliquando dari, Ad cogitandum melior ut red eat sibi_,"

says Phodrus, and be the poet's apology mine, for I am neither afraid or ashamed to confess myself an admirer of life in all its variegated lights and shadows, deriving my amus.e.m.e.nt from the great source of knowledge, the study of that eccentric volume--man. The new police act has, in some measure, abated the extent of these nuisances, the low coffee-shops of the metropolis, which were, for the greater part, little better than a rendezvous for thieves of every description, depots both for the ~343~~plunder and the plunderer; where, if an unthinking or profligate victim once entered, he seldom came out without experiencing treatment which operated like a severe lesson, that would leave its moral upon his mind as long as he continued an inhabitant of the terrestrial world.

[Ill.u.s.tration: page343]

The attempt to describe the party around us baffled even the descriptive powers of old Crony; some few, indeed, were known to the man of the world as reputed sharpers,--fellows who are always to be found lingering about houses of such resort, to catch the inexperienced; when, having sacrificed their victim either by gambling, cheating, or swindling, they divide the profits with the keeper of the house, without whose a.s.sistance they could not hope to arrive at the necessary information, or be enabled to continue their frauds with impunity; but, thus protected, they have a ready witness at hand to speak to their character, without the suspicion of his being a confederate in their villany. Here might be seen the woman of pleasure, lost to every sense of her s.e.x's shame, consuming the remaining portion of the night by a wasteful expenditure of her ill-acquired gains upon some abandoned profligate, bearing, indeed, the outward form of man, but presenting a most degrading spectacle--a wretch so lost to all sense of honour and manhood as meanly to subsist on the wages of prost.i.tution. One or two characters I must not omit: observe the fair Cyprian with the ermine tippet, seated on the right of a well-known _billiard sharp_, who made his escape from Dublin for having dived a little too deep into the pockets of his brother emeralders; here he pa.s.ses for a swell, and has abandoned his former profession for the more honest union of callings, a pimp and playman, in other words, a finished _Greek_. The lady was the _chere amie_ of the unfortunate youth Hayward (designated as the modern Macheath), who suffered an ignominious death. He was betrayed and sold to the ~344~~officers by this very woman, upon whom he had lavished the earnings of his infamy, when endeavouring to secrete himself from the searching eye of justice. The unhappy female on the other side was early in life seduced by the once celebrated Lord B----, by whose t.i.tle, to his lasting infamy, she is still known: what she might have been, but for his arts, reflection too often compels her to acknowledge, when sober and sinking under her load of misery; at other times she has recourse to liquor to drown her complicated misfortunes; when wild and infuriated, she more nearly resembles a demon than a woman, spreading forth terror and destruction upon all around; in this state she is often brought to the police-office, where the humanity of the magistrates, softened perhaps by a recollection of her wrongs, generally operates to procure for her some very trifling and lenient sentence.{5}

5 THE LIFE OF A WOMAN OF THE TOWN.

Ah! what avails how once appear'd the fair, When from gay equipage she falls obscure?

In vain she moves her livid lips in prayer; What man so mean to recollect the poor?

From place to place, by unfee'd bailiffs drove, As fainting fawns from thirsty bloodhounds fly;

See the sad remnants of unhallow'd love In prisons perish, or on dunghills die.

Pimps and dependents once her beauties praised, And on those beauties, vermin-like, they fed;

From wretchedness the crew her bounty raised, When by her spoils enrich'd--deny her bread.

Through street to street she wends, as want betides, Like Sh.o.r.e's sad wife, in winter's dismal hours;

The bleak winds piercing her unnourish'd sides, Her houseless head dripping with drizzy showers.

Sickly she strolls amidst the miry lane, While streaming spouts dash on her unclothed neck;

By famine pinch'd, pinch'd by disease-bred pain, Contrition's portrait, and rash beauty's wreck.

~345~~We had now pa.s.sed from the first receptacle to an inner and more elegant apartment, where we could be accommodated with suitable refreshments, wine, spirits, or, in fact, any thing we pleased to order and were disposed to pay for; a practice at most of these early coffee-houses, as they are denominated. The company in this room were, as far as appearances went, of rather a better order; but an event soon occurred which convinced us that their morality was perhaps more exceptionable than the motley group which filled the outer chamber. A bevy of damsels were singing, flirting, and drinking, to amuse their companions,--when all at once the doors were forced open, and in rushed three of the princ.i.p.al officers of Bow-street, the indefatigable Bishop, the determined Smith, and the resolute Ruthven (see plate), all armed and prepared for some dreadful encounter: in an instant their followers had possessed themselves of the doors--flight, therefore, was in vain; and Bob Transit, in attempting it, narrowly escaped an awkward crack on the crania from old Jack Townshend, who being past active service, was posted at the entrance with the beak himself, to do garrison duty.

[Ill.u.s.tration: page345]

"_The traps! the traps!_" vociferated some one in the adjoining room; "_Douse the glims! stash it--stash it!_" was the general exclamation in ours: but before the party could effect their purpose, the princ.i.p.als were in safe custody: and the reader (i.e. pocket-book) containing all the stolen property, preserved from the flames by the wary eye and prompt arm of the _indefatigable_ Bishop. Before any one was allowed to depart the room, a general muster and search took place, in which poor Bob Transit felt most awkward, as some voluptuous sketches found in his pocket called forth

She dies; sad outcast! heart-broke by remorse; Pale, stretch'd against th' inhospitable doors; While gathering gossips taunt the flesh less corse, And thank their G.o.ds _that they were never w--res!_

~346~~the severe animadversion of his worship, the beak, who lamented that such fine talent should be thus immorally applied: with this brief lecture, and a caution for the future, we were allowed to escape; while almost all the rest, male and female, were marched off to an adjoining watch-house, to abide the public examination and fiat of the morrow.

Of all the party, old Crony was the most sensibly affected by the late rencontre; twenty bottles of soda-water could not have produced a more important change. His conversation and appearance had, in an instant, recovered their wonted steadiness; and before we were half across the market, Crony was moralizing upon the dangers of the scene from which we had so recently and fortunately escaped. But hearts young and buoyant as ours, when lighted up by the fire of enterprise, and provoked to action by potent charges of the grape, were not to be dashed by one repulse, or compelled to beat a retreat at the first brush with a reconnoitring party; we had sallied forth in pursuit of a spree, and frolic we were determined upon,