Be that as it may, it answered the purpose, and did not disturb the friendship of the parties. The honourable general has obtained the appellation of the Park Adonis, from his attractive figure and known gallantries.

~169~~

A-----------y mark, a batter'd beau,{11} Who'll still the fatal dice-box throw Till not a guinea's left.

Beyond's the brothers B-----e,{12} Of gold and acres quite as free, By gaming too bereft.

Here trips commercial dandy Ra-k-s,{13}

11 Lord A------y, the babe of honour--once the gayest of the gay, where fashion holds her bright enchanting court; now wrinkled and depressed, and plucked of every feather, by merciless Greek banditti. Such is the infatuation of play, that he still continues to linger round the fatal table, and finds a pleasure in recounting his enormous losses. A---y, who is certainly one of the most polished men in the world, was the leader of the dandy club, or the unique four, composed of Beau Brummell, Sir Henry Mildmay, and Henry Pierrepoint, the Amba.s.sador, as he is generally termed. When the celebrated dandy ball was given to his Majesty (then Prince of Wales), on that occasion the prince seemed disposed to cut Brummell, who, in revenge, coolly observed to A------y, when he was gone,--"Big Ben was vulgar as usual." This was reported at Carlton House, and led to the disgrace of the exquisite.--Shortly afterwards he met the Prince and A------y in public, arm in arm, when the former, desirous of avoiding him, quitted the baron: Brummell, who observed his motive, said loud enough to be heard by the prince,--"Who is that fat friend of yours?" This expression sealed his doom; he was never afterwards permitted the honour of meeting the parties at the palace. The story of "George, ring the bell," and the reported conduct of the prince, who is said to have obeyed the request and ordered Mr. Brummell's carriage, is, we have strong reasons for thinking, altogether a fiction: Brummell knew the dignity of his host too well to have dared such an insult. The king since generously sent him 300L. when he heard of his distress at Calais. Brummell was the son of a tavern-keeper in St. James's, and is still living at Calais.

12 The brothers are part of a flock of R------r geese, who have afforded fine plucking for the Greeks. Parson Ambrose, the high priest of Pandemonium, had a leg of one and a wing of the other devilled for supper one night at the Gothic Hall. They have cut but a lame figure ever since.

13 A quaint cognomen given to the city banker by the west- end beaux;--he is a very amiable man.

~170~~

Who never plays for heavy stakes, But looks to the main chance.

There's Georgy W-b-ll, all the go,{14} The mould of fashion,--the court beau, Since Brummell fled to France: His bright bra.s.s harness, and the gray, The well known black cabriolet, Is always latest there; The reason,--George, with Captain P------ The lady-killing coterie, Come late--to catch the fair.

See W-s-r, who with pious love,{15} For her, who's sainted now above, A sister kindly takes; So, as the ancient proverb tells, "The best of husbands, modern belles, Are your reformed rakes."

In splendid mis'ry down the ride Alone,--see ****** lady glide,{16} Neglected for a--------.

What's fame, or t.i.tles, wealth's increase, Compared unto the bosom's peace?

They're bubbles,--nothing more.

14 George, although a _roue_ of the most superlative order, is not deficient in good sense and agreeable qualifications.

Since poor Beau Brummell's removal from the hemisphere of fashion, George has certainly shone a planet of the first magnitude: among the fair he is also considered like his friend, Captain P-r-y, a perfect lady-killer:--many a little milliner's girl has had cause to regret the seductive notes of A.Z.B. Limmer's Hotel.

15 The Marquis of W-c-t-r has, since his first wife's death, married her sister.--Reformation, we are happy to perceive, is the order of the day. The failure of Howard and Gibbs involved more than one n.o.ble family in embarra.s.sments.

16 The amours of this child of fortune are notorious both on the continent and in this country. It is very often the misfortune of great men to be degraded by great profligacy of conduct: the poor lady is a suffering angel.

~171~~

Observe yon graceful modest group{17} Who look like chaste Diana's troop, The Ladies Molineaux; With Sefton, the Nimrod of peers, As old in honesty,--as years, A stanch true buff' and blue.

"What portly looking man is that In plain blue coat,--to whom each hat Is moved in ride and walk!"

That pleasant fellow, be it known, Is heir presumptive to the throne, 'Tis Frederick of York.{18} A better, kinder hearted soul You will not And, upon the whole, Within the British isle.

But see where P-t's wife appears,{19} Who changed, though rather late in years, For honest George Ar-le.

Now by my faith it gives me pain

17 The female branches of the Sefton family are superior to the slightest breath of calumny, and present an example to the peerage worthy of more general imitation.

18 No member of the present royal family displays more agreeable qualifications in society than the heir presumptive.--Un-affected, affable, and free, the duke may be seen daily pacing St. James's-street, Pall-mall, or the Park, very often wholly un-attended: as his person is familiar to the public, he never experiences the slightest inconvenience from curiosity, and he is so generally beloved, that none pa.s.s him who know him without paying their tribute of respect. In all the private relations of life he is a most estimable man,--in his public situation indefatigable, prompt, and attentive to the meanest applica- tion.

19 A more lamentable instance of the profligacy of the age cannot be found than in the history of the transaction which produced this exchange of wives and persons. A wag of the day published a new list of promotions headed as follows,-- Lady B------n to be Lady A------r P-t,--by exchange--Lady P-t to be d.u.c.h.ess of A------e,--by promotion--Lady Charlotte W--y to be Lady P-t, vice Lady P-t, promoted.

~172~~

To see thee, cruel Lady J-,{20} Regret the golden Ball.

Tis useless now:--"the fox and grapes"

Remember, and avoid the apes Which wait an old maid's fall.

Gay lady H-----e's twinkling star{21}

20 It is not long since that, inspired by love or ambition, a wealthy commoner sought the promise of the fair hand of Lady J-, nor was the consent of her n.o.ble father (influenced by certain weighty reasons*) wanting to complete the antic.i.p.ated happiness of the suitor.--All the preliminary forms were arranged,--jointure and pin money liberally fixed,--some legal objections as to a covenant of forfeiture overcame, a suitable establishment provided. The happy day was fixed, when--"mark inconstant fickle woman"--the evening previous to completion (to the surprise of all the town), she changed her mind; she had reconsidered the subject!--The man was wealthy, and attractive in person; but then-- insupportable objection--he was a mere plebeian, a common esquire, and his name was odious,--Lady J- B-1,--she could never endure it: the degrading thought produced a fainting fit,--the recovery a positive refusal,--the circ.u.mstance a week's amus.e.m.e.nt to the fashionable world. Reflection and disappointment succeeded, and a revival was more than once spoken of; but the recent marriage of the bachelor put an end to all conjecture, and the poor lady was for some time left to bewail in secret her single destiny. Who can say, when a lady has the golden ball at her foot, where she may kick it? Circ.u.mstances which have occurred since the above was written prove that the lady has antic.i.p.ated our advice.

21 Her ladyship's crimson vis-a-vis and her tall footman are both highly attractive--there are no seats in the vehicle--the fair owner reclines on a splendid crimson velvet divan or cushion. She must now be considered a beauty of the last century, being already turned of fifty: still she continued to flourish in the annals of--fashion, until within the last few years; when she ceased to go abroad for amus.e.m.e.nt, finding it more convenient to purchase it at home. As her parties in Grosvenor-square are of the most splendid description, and her dinners (where she is the presiding deity, and the only one) are frequent, and unrivalled for a display of the "savoir vivre," her ladyship can always draw on the grat.i.tude of her guests for that homage to hospitality which she must cease to expect to her charms, "now in the sear and yellow leaf:"--she is a M-nn- rs-"verb.u.m sal." Speaking of M-nn-ra, where is the portly John (the Regent's double, as he was called some few years since), and the amiable d.u.c.h.ess, who bestowed her hand and fortune upon him?--but, n'importe.

* The marquis is said to have shown some aversion in the first instance, till H-s B-1 sent his rent roll for his inspection: this was immediately returned with a very satisfactory reply, but accompanied with a more embarra.s.sing request, namely, a sight of his pedigree.

~173~~

Glimmers in eclipse,--afar's The light of former time.

In gorgeous pride and vis-a-vis,{22} A-b-y's orange livry see, The gayest in the clime.

Camac and wife, in chariot green, Constant as turtle-doves are seen, With two bronze slaves behind; Next H-tf-d's comely, widow'd dame,{23} With am'rous G------, a favourite name, When G------was true and kind.

22 "The gorgeous A-b-y in the sun-flower's pride." This lady's vis-a-vis by far the most splendidly rich on town.

Her footmen (of which there are four on drawing-room days) are a proper emblem of that gaudy flower--bright yellow liveries, black lower garments, spangled and studded. There is a general keeping in this gorgeous equipage, which is highly creditable to the taste of the marchioness, for the marquis, "good easy man," (though a Bruce), he is too much engaged preserving his game at Ro-er-n park, and keeping up the game in St. Stephen's (where his influence is represented by no less than eight "sound men and true"), to attend to these trifling circ.u.mstances. This, with a well paid rental of upwards of 100,000 per annum, makes the life of this happy pair pa.s.s in an uninterrupted stream of fashionable felicity.

23 The marchioness is said to bear the neglect of a certain capricious friend with much cool philosophy. Soon after the intimacy had ceased, they met by accident. On the sofa, by the side of the inconstant, sat the reigning favourite; the marchioness placed herself (uninvited) on the opposite side: astonishment seized the ****; he rose, made a very graceful bow to one of the ladies, and coolly observed to the marchesa--"If this conduct is repeated, I must decline meeting you in public." This was the cut royal.

~174~~

See S-b-y's peeress, whom each fool Of fashion meets in Sunday school,{24} To chat in learned lore; Where rhyming peers, and letter'd beaus, Blue stocking belles to love dispose, And wit is deem'd a bore.

With brave Sir Ronald, toe to toe, See Mrs. M-h-l A-g-lo,{25} Superb equestriana.

Next--that voluptuous little dame,{26} Who sets the dandy world in flame, The female Giovanni.

Erin's sprightly beauteous belle, Gay Lady G-t-m, and her swell The Yorkshire Whiskerandoes.{27}

24 The dulness of the marchioness's Sunday evening conver- saziones have obtained them the fashionable appellation of the Sunday-school. Lord Byron thought it highly dangerous for any wit to accept a second invitation, lest he should be inoculated with ennui.

23 Mrs. M- A-g-e, a very amiable and accomplished woman, sister to Sir H-y V-ne T-p-t. She is considered the best female equestrian in the ride.

26 A consideration for the delicacy of our fair readers will not allow us to enter upon the numerous amours of this favourite of Apollo and the Muses, and not less celebrated intriguant. She may, however, have ample justice entailed upon her under another head. Latterly, since the police have been so active in suppressing the gaming houses, a small party have met with security and profit for a little chicken hazard in Curzon-street, at which Mr. C-t has occasionally acted as croupier and banker. Elliston used to say, when informed of the sudden indisposition or absence of a certain little actress and singer-"Ay, I understand; she has a more profitable engagement than mine this evening." The amorous trio, Cl-g-t, Charles H-r-s, and the exquisite Master G-e, may not have cause to complain of neglect. The first of these gentlemen has lately, we understand, been very successful at play; we trust experience will teach him prudence.

27 His lordship commands the York hussars, in defence of whose whiskers he sometime since made a Quixotic attack upon a public writer. As he is full six feet high, and we are not quite five, prudence bids us place our finger on our lip.

~175~~

Pale Lambton, he who loves and hates By turns, what Pitts, or Pit, creates, Led by the Whig fandangoes.

Sound folly's trumpet, fashion's drums,-- Here great A------y W------ce comes,{28} 'Mong tailors, a red b.u.t.ton.

With luminarious nose and cheeks, Which love of much good living speaks, Observe the city glutton: Sir W-m, admiral of yachts, Of turtles, capons, port, and pots, In curricle so big.

Jack F-r follows;--Jack's a wag,{29}

28 A------y W------o, Esq. otherwise the renowned Billy b.u.t.ton, the son and heir to the honours, fortune, and s...o...b..ard of the late Billy b.u.t.ton of Bedford-street, Covent Garden. The latter property he appears to have transferred to the front of the old brown landau, where the aged coachman, with nose as flat as the ace of clubs, sits, transfixed and rigid as the curls of his caxon, from three till six every Sunday evening, urging on a cabbage-fed pair of ancient prods, which no exertion of the venerable Jehu has been able for the last seven years to provoke into a trot from Hyde park gate to that of c.u.mberland and back again. The contents of the vehicle are equally an exhibition. Billy, with two watches hung by one chain, undergoing the revolutionary movements of buckets in a well, and his eye-gla.s.s set round with false pearls, are admirably "en suite" with his bugle optics. The frowsy madam in faded finery, with all the little b.u.t.tons, attended by a red-haired poor relation from Inverness (who is at once their governess and their victim), form the happy tenantry of this moving closet. No less than three, crests surmount the arms of this descendant of Wallace the Great. A waggish Hibernian, some few months since, added a fourth, by chalking a goose proper, crested with a cabbage, which was observed and laughed at by every one in the park except the purblind possessor of the vehicle, who was too busy in looking at himself.

29 Honest Jack is no longer an M.P., to the great regret of the admirers of senatorial humours. Some few years since, being Btuehi plenus, he reeled into St. Stephen's chapel a little out of a perpendicular; when the then dignified Abbot having called him to order, he boldly and vociferously a.s.serted that "Jack F-r of Rose-Hill was not to be set down by any little fellow in a wig. "This offence against the person and high office of the Abbot of St. Stephen's brought honest Jack upon his knees, to get relieved from a troublesome serjeant attendant of the chapel. Knowing his own infirmities, and fearing perhaps that he might be com- pelled to make another compulsory prayer, Jack resigned his pretensions to senatorial honors at the last general election. His chief amus.e.m.e.nt, when in town, is the watching and tormenting the little marchandes des modes who cross over or pa.s.s in the neighbourhood of Regent-street--he is, however, perfectly harmless. 30 An unlucky accident, occasioned by little Th-d the wine merchant overturning F-z-y in his tandem, compelled the latter to sell out of the army, but not without having lost a leg in the service. A determined patriot, he was still resolved to serve his country. A barrister on one leg might be thought ominous of his client's cause, or afford food for the raillery of his opponent. The bar was therefore rejected. But the church opened her arms to receive the dismembered son of Mars (a parson with a cork leg, or two wooden ones, or indeed without a leg to stand on, was not un-orthodox), and F-z-y was soon inducted to a valuable benefice. He is now, we believe, a pluralist, and, if report be true, has shown something of the old soldier in his method of retaining them. F-y married Miss Wy-d-m, the daughter of Mrs. H-s, who was the admired of his brother, L-d P-. He is generally termed the fighting parson, and considered one of the best judges of a horse in town: he sometimes does a little business in that way among the young ones.

~176~~

A jolly dog, who sports his nag, Or queers the Speaker's wig: To Venus, Jack is stanch and true; To Bacchus pays devotion too, But likes not bully Mars.

Next him, some guardsmen, exquisite,- A well-dress'd troop;--but as to fight, It may leave ugly scars.

Here a church militant is seen,{30} Who'd rather fight than preach I ween, Once major, now a parson; With one leg in the grave, he'll laugh, Chant up a pard, or quaintly chaff, To keep life's pleasant farce on.