"Up to you, but if she blames anything else on the staff, I'm going to make sure it comes out." Drew shuffled his feet. "I should go, let you get some sleep."

"No," I said quickly. "I mean, I'm not tired. You could hang out if you want."

Drew smiled. "Looks like the only thing you needed to enjoy my company was a hit on the head."

"That's not true." I could feel my face flushing.

"It's okay. I'm teasing you. Don't worry about what happened before. I was the one out of line. I shouldn't have kissed you like that. We'll just pretend it never happened. Friends?"

I opened my mouth to tell him I didn't want to be his friend. What I wanted was for him to kiss me again. Preferably when I was out of the hospital and had a shower.

"Hey, there."

Both Drew and I whirled to face the door. My dad was standing there, holding a take-out container of Baskin-Robbins ice cream. I was willing to bet it was mint chocolate chip, my favorite. As he came into the room I saw he hadn't shaved, and his shirt was missing a b.u.t.ton.

Drew stood up. "h.e.l.lo, Mr. Kendrick. She's awake now. I think her snoring finally woke even her up."

My dad smiled.

"I wasn't snoring," I repeated.

Drew and my dad shook hands, ignoring my protests.

"Thanks for keeping an eye on her while I ran out. Would you like some ice cream?" My dad asked Drew, holding up the bag. I hoped he had another flavor in there, because I wasn't planning on sharing my pint.

"I should be going. Besides, I'm sure you'll want a chance to catch up." Drew grabbed his jacket by the door.

There was still a lot I wanted to talk about with Drew, but I didn't want to have that conversation in front of my dad. If I hadn't been hooked to an IV, with my leg in plaster, I would have followed Drew out into the hall.

"See you soon?" I asked, hoping I didn't sound too needy.

"I'm like gum under a desk," Drew said. "Next to impossible to get rid of."

30.

My dad bustled around finding spoons and bowls for the ice cream, making the entire process seem more complicated than pulling together an entire Thanksgiving dinner for a family of twenty. He was constantly in motion, a blur in the room. A blur who kept avoiding my eyes. The entire time he was getting things ready, he kept up a nonstop stream of chatter. He told me about how the airline had lost his luggage and he'd had to buy a sweatshirt from the hospital gift shop, and how the ice-cream store had been out of b.u.t.ter pecan, so it wasn't really thirty-one flavors, only thirty.

"Dad?" I didn't say anything else until he finally stopped moving and looked at me. "I wasn't trying to kill myself."

His face turned gray, and his eyes shifted away. "Of course not. I never thought that."

I could see he had thought it, that he was still thinking it. "I was upset about our conversation," I said, trying to explain what had happened.

My dad turned back to dishing out the ice cream. "We don't need to talk about that now. I thought maybe when they spring you from here we could take a small vacation. Maybe go someplace warm."

"I don't want to go on vacation."

"If this is about Linda, then you don't need to worry, she won't be coming." He pa.s.sed me a wad of napkins. "She and I are going to take a break."

"You broke up with her?" Great. Not only was I ruining my own love life, but now I had managed to ruin my dad's, too. "I didn't want that."

My dad patted my leg. "It's nothing you need to worry about. All you need to focus on is getting better. A vacation will do us both some good."

"I can't go on vacation. I've got school." I could feel my frustration growing.

"You let me take care of school. I'll talk to your teachers and we'll work something out. They can give you some projects to work on long-distance."

"I don't want you to take care of it." My hands were balled into fists at my side.

His face fell. I could see he was hurt. "Okay. If you don't want to go anyplace, we don't have to." He stared at his bowl of ice cream, then perked up with a smile. "Heck, you're right. Who wants to deal with airlines and traveler's tummy? We could go up to your grandparents'. We can rent a bunch of movies and hunker down, maybe play some board games. Remember how you used to kick my b.u.t.t at Monopoly? I bet if we ask nice, we can even get your grandma to make her famous spaghetti and meatb.a.l.l.s."

"I don't want to go to grandma's, either. What I want is for you to listen to me! For once don't try to solve the problem or shove it out of the way. Just listen!" I yelled.

My dad went silent, his face still for the first time. A nurse peeked in to see what the fuss was about, but backed out when she saw my dad. "I listen to you, Hailey," he said.

"No, you don't. You hear what you want to hear, or you end any conversation you don't find comfortable."

He rubbed the palms of his hands on his pants. "I should have told you about Linda. I realize now how wrong I was about that. I didn't want you to think I was being disrespectful to your mom."

I flopped back down onto the pillow. "This isn't about Linda. And it isn't about Mom, either. It's about us."

"What about us?"

"Just that. There is no us anymore. I don't even know if you like me."

My dad grabbed my hand. "Of course I like you. I love you. I love you more than anything else in my life."

"Then, why is it you never want to be around me? First it was school, but then it was all the time. You're always too busy. There's always a good reason why you have to run off. Then you changed our summer plans. You say you love me, but you don't even know me anymore."

"That's not true, Hailey." He ran his hands through his hair. "I get distracted with work, but I've never taken my focus off of you."

"Really? What's my favorite subject?"

"You like science." He looked relieved, as if I had asked him an easy question.

"It's history. I act like it's science because you like science. I figured it would give us something to talk about. I'm not even sure I want to major in it anymore."

"But you get straight A's in science." He sounded confused.

"I don't care!" I used my ice-cream spoon to point at the door. "Who was the guy that was here?"

"Drew?" My dad looked at the door as if he were hoping Drew would reappear and provide some answers. "I a.s.sume he's one of your friends from school. Isn't he the one dating your friend Kelsie?"

"Kelsie is dating my boyfriend, Tristan. Drew works the janitorial crew at Evesham."

"A janitor?"

I could see my dad's brain spinning, trying to figure out why a school janitor had shown up at the hospital to visit me. "Remember how Dean Winston a.s.signed me to a cleaning crew as part of my punishment? That's how I met Drew. He's going to Yale."

His eyebrows drew together as he tried to sort out what direction the conversation was going in. "He got a janitor job at Yale?"

"No. He got accepted there," I said. "He's going to major in English."

"Oh. That's good."

"I think I like him."

My dad nodded very seriously. "That's good too. He seems like a very nice young man."

"Except I blew it. He kissed me and I slapped him, and now he doesn't want to be with me. All he wants is to be friends." I grabbed my dad's hand before he could say anything. "Please don't tell me how you don't know what to tell me and that mom is the one who would have handled this kind of boy-girl stuff. Mom is gone. I wish she wasn't, but she is. You're the only parent I've got left."

My dad got up and moved so he could sit on the bed next to me. He had tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry, Hailey. I let you down. I let your mom down. If she could see what a mess I've made of things, she'd be so disappointed."

"I think she'd be pretty ticked at me, too," I said.

"We'd both be grounded."

"Remember how when she was really mad she would give herself a time-out?" I said.

My dad laughed. "She used to crawl back into bed with a book. She said life would be better if everyone took a time-out when they needed one."

"I miss her." My eyes spilled over. With all the crying I'd been doing lately, I was going to have to increase my water intake or run the risk of dehydration.

"I miss her too. She was a h.e.l.l of a woman. You remind me of her."

I wiped my eyes. "How?"

"Your mom was persistent. She used to say it didn't matter if she won the race but that she kept going even when she fell down. She wasn't a quitter. That was one of the reasons I was crazy about her. I was always worried about what other people thought of me. I didn't ever want to look stupid. Your mom didn't worry so much about other people. She kept her focus on not letting herself down. I can tell you've got that same focus. You're going to go far. She'd be the first person cheering you on."

I smiled. I had a memory of her being at one of my school recitals in elementary school. She'd been the only parent giving a standing ovation. Maybe that's how you know someone loves you; they make you want to be a better person by believing in your effort, not just your accomplishments.

My dad handed me my bowl of ice cream. "Okay, let's get back to the issue. If you like Drew, why did you hit him when he kissed you? Was it that bad of a kiss?"

I laughed. My leg was broken, I had a concussion, and I was most likely in the largest amount of trouble I'd ever been in at school, and suddenly it felt like things had never been better.

31.

I shifted in the wheelchair. I had wanted to walk out on my crutches, but the hospital had some sort of policy against it. You would think they would want people to walk out. It would make it look like people got better in the hospital, but no. I was parked in the lobby waiting for my ride. shifted in the wheelchair. I had wanted to walk out on my crutches, but the hospital had some sort of policy against it. You would think they would want people to walk out. It would make it look like people got better in the hospital, but no. I was parked in the lobby waiting for my ride.

I'd sent my dad home yesterday. He'd offered to be the one to take me back to school, but I knew he needed to get back to work. The past three days we'd talked like we hadn't in years. We'd made plans for spring break. We were going to go down to North Carolina, just the two of us, but on the way back my dad was going to arrange for me to meet Linda. He'd offered to cancel his summer plans in London, but suddenly it didn't seem as important as it had earlier. We'd talked about how London was full of history and maybe I'd spend at least part of my summer with him over there. I didn't know what else I would do with my summer, but I was okay with that.

Finally the car pulled up to the hospital doorway. The nurse who was pushing my chair through the doors let out a gasp when she saw who it was. She was so focused on him, there was the very real chance she would have let me roll into oncoming traffic.

Tristan opened the pa.s.senger door of his car. "Your chariot awaits," he said, bending low.

"My chariot is late," I pointed out.

"Not just late, fashionably late." Tristan put his hand on my back as I crutched my way into his car. "Watch the ice. You don't want to end up back in there five minutes after getting out."

Tristan turned on his charm for the nurse as he gathered up my bags and took the discharge papers. If she asked him for an autograph, I was going to push her down with one of my crutches. He climbed in and waved to the crowd that was gathering near the door. I was starting to feel like we were in a parade. Tristan jacked up the heat in the car before taking off. We drove in silence out of town toward school.

"Thanks for picking me up," I said.

"What are friends for?" Tristan glanced over and smiled. "Kelsie wanted to come too, but Dean Winston wouldn't let both of us leave campus. She's looking forward to seeing you. I should warn you, I think she's planning some sort of welcome back party."

"I'm not sure Winston's going to approve a party." My dad had met with Dean Winston after my accident. I was still on restriction for the next three months, and I'd been moved to working in the library so I could still help pay for the statue as long as I was in a cast, but everyone else was off restriction. My dad had hinted that Dean Winston's actions had been designed to ostracize me and no doubt had led to the amount of stress I was under. Winston was probably worried that we would sue him for emotional distress that resulted in me throwing myself off the administration building. My dad had clarified that I'd been after my pa.s.sport and not trying to do myself in, but clearly my decision-making had been impacted by all the stress. I was willing to bet Dean Winston couldn't wait for spring to come and for me to graduate. However, he had decided to allow me back at school, and there wasn't going to be anything on my permanent record either.

"It won't be a wild party. No strippers or Jell-O wrestling. More of a friends-welcoming-a-friend-home party. How can he have a problem with that? If it makes you feel better, we can say the party is a going away party for Mandy." He glanced over quickly to see my reaction.

"She's leaving?"

"She may have already left. She wasn't around this morning. The official story is that she wants to move back to New York to be closer to her half sister."

"I didn't think she spoke to her sister."

Tristan shrugged. "I'm not sure she's even met her half sister before. Her mom has been married more often than most people change their underwear. I don't think anyone buys the story, but if it makes her feel better about things, it's no skin off my nose."

In the hospital I'd debated how to handle the Mandy situation. Drew had been right; it wasn't illegal, so the police wouldn't care. I could have turned her in to Dean Winston, but I wasn't interested in helping Winston out in any way. I could have confronted her myself, but ending up in a catfight with her didn't seem like a good plan. She struck me as the kind who would fight dirty. She was probably a hair puller. Then I'd end up with a bald spot in addition to the cast on my leg.

In the end I went to the person who had the most experience with the tabloids, Tristan. He'd come to the hospital, and we'd had a chance to talk. Being able to focus on the situation with Mandy let us get over what was between us. Seeing him reminded me how much I liked him. I didn't love him, but I did want him in my life. If he was going to be dating my best friend, there had to be a way for us to be friends.

Tristan and I discussed the idea of leaking our own story to the tabloids that would out what Mandy had done. The public would eat up the idea that she was so desperate for attention that she'd placed her own stories in the news. I could picture the headline PAY ATTENTION TO ME PAY ATTENTION TO ME! in a giant font smeared across a picture of Mandy running from a pack of photographers. While that was an appealing image, I didn't like stooping to her level, and Tristan wasn't keen to help the tabloids sell any magazines.

In the end Tristan met with Mandy. He let her know we knew what she had done, and if a single story about anyone on campus came out, we would make sure stories about her flooded the press, and they wouldn't be stories she wanted. Tristan said that she had started off by crying, but had ended up yelling that everyone was jealous of her fame and then storming out. When he'd told me that, I'd felt sick. I'd hoped the whole situation would be resolved, but it seemed like Mandy might make things worse.

What neither Mandy or I had counted on was the reaction of everyone else at Evesham. The night after Tristan met with Mandy, we filled in Kelsie and Joel, and word started to spread that Mandy was the leak. People stopped speaking to her. They shunned her. Tristan said it was like people thought she had leprosy or a really nasty STD. Apparently it was all too much for her. I shouldn't have been surprised. Mandy didn't mind if people liked her or loathed her, but she couldn't stand to be ignored.

"There's something else I should tell you before we get back to school," Tristan said. "Joel and I talked last night."

"Oh? What about?" I fidgeted in the seat, avoiding Tristan's eyes. The last thing I needed to do was spill my guts, only to discover they had been talking about baseball statistics.

"He told me what happened that night, that he was the one you were kissing."

So much for hoping it had been a random sports discussion. "I can explain . . ."

"You don't need to explain. Joel told me he was the one who kissed you and that you kept it a secret to protect him. He would have lost his scholarship if you'd told. Not that any of that excuses the fact that he's my best friend and he kissed my girl and then lied to me about it."